Chapter 140: Appreciation and Affection
Davey was quiet as he followed Sadie up the stairs, his mind still keyed up from the evening's events and from the shock of her surprising disclosure. He'd suspected something of the sort after seeing her brief interaction with Oscar, but having his suspicions confirmed was still disconcerting, for he would have never guessed that the sweet-spirited girl he'd fallen in love with with would have had anything to do with one of the most brutish young men he'd ever had the occasion to know in his life.
Of course, there was more to the story, as Sadie had said. It was quite possible that her romantic connection with Oscar had been brief, and that they'd parted ways once she'd become aware of his spiteful character. It wasn't a stretch to imagine a younger and less careful Sadie falling into a friendship (and even a romance) with a calculating young man who knew how to hide his true colors in order to manipulate her affectionate nature; she'd certainly befriended Davey quickly enough without knowing much about him, and if he'd been an entirely different sort of person, he might have toyed with her easily as well. It was, perhaps, a weakness of Sadie's that she trusted so easily…and yet, this openness went hand in hand with her warm and kindhearted disposition. Some practicing of greater discernment would certainly not be amiss on her part, but she couldn't be faulted for failing to identify Oscar's malicious nature from the start, nor was she responsible for his actions thereafter…
Regardless of the particulars of their connection and its duration, the scant details that had come to light were unsettling. Sadie's statement acknowledging Oscar's persistent nature and the fact that he usually got what he wanted had incited a surge of uncharitable emotions, but Davey had done his best to push them aside. It wasn't his place to press the matter, and if Sadie wanted to leave it at that, he had to respect her decision...
But it had taken a moment for him to unclench his hands from the fists that they'd curled themselves into.
He'd had no plan as he'd arrived at the scene of the confrontation after instructing Les to hurry back to the lodging house to bring help. His only goal had been to diffuse the situation and to distract Oscar long enough for Sadie to get away. In the back of his mind, he'd known that if backup didn't come in time, he'd likely pay for that decision with a thoroughly humiliating beating, but his compulsion to step in had been far greater than his fear.
Thankfully, things had ended well, and Sadie, for the most part, seemed to be fine. She'd clearly been unsettled by the incident, but physically she hadn't been seriously harmed, so that was reason enough for relief.
Oscar, however, was clearly disinclined to let the matter lie. His parting threat had been ominous and full of malice, and it was this threat that Davey found himself mulling over, for danger had been narrowly averted this time, but that didn't mean that the churlish Delancey brother wouldn't try to assault Sadie again.
You'd better figure out a way to keep her safe, Davey told himself. The prospect of brawling had always intimidated him, but he wasn't so much of a pacifist that he couldn't see the sense in using force if the occasion called for it.
Maybe it was time to finally learn how to fight.
Setting the thought aside for the time being, he drew even with Sadie as they came to the top of the third floor stairs. They hadn't spoken for several minutes, and as they neared the Becker apartment, Davey saw Sadie biting her lip, as though she was fighting some inward battle with herself.
"Shall I carry the sewing kit inside for you?" he asked, breaking the silence. "I don't want to put a strain on your wrist any more than necessary."
She didn't answer, but looked up at him in silence, and he was surprised to see something in her countenance that he couldn't quite place, something beautiful and sad and eager and almost a little afraid. She had never looked at him that way before, and he wondered what it meant, for surely she knew that the anger he'd felt at the situation had been directed towards Oscar and not towards her…
"I wouldn't want to importune you any further," she said softly. "You've already done so much on my behalf."
"Anyone else would have done the same," he deflected, surrendering the sewing kit when she held out her hands for it. "And I'm still not convinced that you wouldn't have been able to handle him yourself." The statement was somewhere between sincere and joking, and he was rewarded with a slight smile in return.
"My father was an amateur boxer in his youth," Sadie disclosed. "He taught Judith, Abby, and me how to throw a punch when we were small in case we ever needed to defend ourselves, but I've only had one occasion before where I've had to use it, and my arm is quite out of practice." Her smile disappeared, and she added soberly, "Even if I'd managed to land a blow or two, it would have been far from an even match. I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't shown up, Davey."
"I'm just glad that you're all right," he answered quickly. "But - please promise me that if you have to walk home late again, you'll call over here before you leave so that I can come to meet you - or that you'll stop at the lodging house first and ask Race or one of the other boys from the reading group to go with you - just so that you're not walking home alone again at night. Please, Ch - Sadie. Because if something ever happened to you, I'd - "
He stopped himself abruptly, wanting to say more but knowing that he shouldn't.
"Sorry," he backtracked. "I didn't mean to overstep. It's not my place to tell you what to do." The words of his father's reprimand ran through his head, and he inwardly grimaced, knowing that he'd already come too close to crossing the line.
"Goodnight, Sadie," he said quickly.
He was about to turn away and start down the stairs, when her voice called after him.
"I promise."
Davey stopped in his tracks and turned around.
"I promise, I won't walk home alone again at night, Davey," Sadie repeated softly. "Thank you for stepping in to protect me. I am indebted to you - truly."
She was blushing a little, gazing up at him with that same timidly hopeful expression, and in that moment she looked so sweet and trusting that he knew if they'd been standing a foot or two closer (or if his self-control had been a little less well-honed), she would have been wrapped up in his arms that very second, and he would have been ineloquently stammering out all of the words that he'd barely managed to keep in check only moments before, words of relief and concern and gratitude, because the thought of her being harmed was something that had shaken him more than he was willing to admit, and he was still trying to settle into the reality that she was truly safe and sound.
But almost as soon as the thought crossed his mind, he felt a pang of remorse. How could he even consider doing such a thing after what Sadie had just gone through with Oscar? The last thing that she needed right now was unwanted attention from yet another boy who had no business touching her, and the fact that he'd even considered it - no matter how briefly - was troubling. He ought to know better than that, and he really ought to leave now before he did or said anything that he would later regret...
But instead of turning to go, he remained where he was, rooted to the spot, and as Sadie returned his gaze, he almost fooled himself into thinking that he saw something there, a warmth in her eyes that seemed to be a little more than mere gratitude.
Appreciation, he told himself quickly, even as his heart began to beat faster. It's only appreciation, not affection. Two entirely different things. His mind, or the lighting, was playing tricks on him, that was all. He'd imagined for a fleeting moment that Sadie might have cared for him because that was what he wanted to believe, but of course that was not the case. She was only thanking him the way she would thank anyone else who had offered his assistance, and there was nothing he had done that would have merited an affectionate response...
Appreciation, he repeated desperately, trying to still the whispering of his suddenly-defiant heart. It's not affection. She doesn't think of you like that. This doesn't go both ways.
But hadn't she taken his hand earlier when they'd been alone at the scene of the confrontation?
That doesn't mean anything, Davey told himself as firmly as he could. He'd seen her act similarly with others before - Margaret, Abby, and even on a few occasions Les when she'd needed to get his attention - so likely it had been an instinctive reflex and nothing more. She'd dropped his hand almost immediately when she'd seen his bashfulness at her unexpected touch, so clearly she hadn't intended to incite that sort of response. Assuming otherwise was only wishful thinking.
Forcing himself to move, he took a step backwards towards the stairs, and almost at the exact same moment Sadie stepped towards him (for what reason he couldn't even begin to imagine), but upon seeing his withdrawal, she stopped, hesitating in the middle of the hallway as her free hand curled into the folds of her skirt.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly, looking away. "I didn't mean to detain you." She fidgeted with the sewing kit on her arm, then tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before glancing up at him with a tentative smile. "I hope you have a pleasant evening, Davey. Thank you again for your help tonight."
And before he could come up with the words to say in response, she turned and disappeared into her family's apartment, shutting the door gently behind her.
Davey stood there for a moment.
What was that about?
Slowly, he turned around and made his way towards the stairs, his emotions still roiling and his mind utterly perplexed by her sudden retreat. She hadn't sounded upset or angry, and everything in her bearing had seemed to indicate that he hadn't done anything to offend her, but she'd been discomfited about something, and he wished that he could figure out what it was.
As he made his way down the stairs, he was surprised to hear the sound of footsteps ascending from the bottom flight, and as he reached the landing, Les' familiar bowler hat came into view, followed by the boy himself.
"We sure scared the bejeebers out of Oscar!" he declared triumphantly. "You should've seen him run, David - it was like a whole nest of hornets was after him!"
Davey fondly clapped his brother on the shoulder, feeling a bit more lighthearted at the younger boy's buoyant declaration. "You did great, Les. You brought the newsies in time."
"It was easy," Les shrugged. "They were all still lounging around in the bunk room. All I had to do was say Oscar's name, and they were raring to go."
"Did Jack walk you back to the tenement?"
The younger boy nodded. "He told me not to worry about the Delanceys - they're only brave when they think they've got an advantage, but Jack said that he and the boys are gonna keep a close eye on them, and they shouldn't cause any more trouble." He grinned. "We sure showed Oscar who's boss, didn't we, David?"
"We sure did," Davey agreed, but inwardly he was far less confident that the situation had been resolved. Oscar probably wouldn't attack Les or any of the newsies, not with the entire lodging house on high alert, but he could still harm Sadie if he happened across her while she was unaccompanied. Thankfully, she'd promised not to walk home alone again at night, and she ought to be safe enough during the daytime...
...but still, a residual uneasiness lingered.
"Do you think Mom and Dad'll be mad we stayed out later than we said?" Les asked as they walked down the hallway towards their family's apartment.
Another layer of consternation set in.
"I hope not," Davey murmured. But he was already squaring his shoulders for the reprimand that he knew was coming. He and Les had failed to return by the time that they'd promised their parents to, and that alone would have been enough to merit a rebuke, but if he tried to explain the reason for their tardiness and admitted that he'd been with Sadie, his father would not be happy at all.
There was nothing for it, however.
Reaching the front door of the apartment, he fished out the key. He could see the faint glow of candlelight emanating from under the door and felt a flicker of relief, for it meant that his father had gone to bed, and that his mother would be the only one awake to question her sons' late return. She might not approve of their choices that night, either, but any admonishment she gave would likely be more gently delivered.
Davey opened the door, and he and Les quietly made their way inside. Their mother looked up from her seat at the table where she'd been reading and put a finger to her lips, instructing them to keep their voices down, then rose to usher Les towards the bed, for it was quite late by this time, and he had school the next morning.
Davey took a seat at the kitchen table, knowing that their mother would want an explanation once Les had been settled for the night. He felt a little guilty for getting home so late, but hopefully she would understand.
After settling the surprisingly-cooperative Les into bed, Esther returned to the table, sitting down and taking a sip of her tea before she looked at Davey.
"Mom," he began quietly, "I can explain - "
She held up her hand. "That won't be necessary, David. I can see that both you and your brother are all in one piece, and you're generally observant of the time. I'm sure there was a good reason for your delayed return."
His mother, in general, was gracious in her manner of speaking, but it was unusual for her to waive a request for an explanation, and Davey wondered what was behind it, though he was certainly not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.
"Did you have a pleasant evening with the newsies?" his mother inquired, changing the subject. "You mentioned that Jack was going to be proposing to his sweetheart soon; was this gathering in preparation for that occasion?"
"It was just a time for shooting the breeze," Davey answered. "Some of the boys played poker or marbles, and the rest just talked. I don't think all of them are in on Jack's plan to propose to Katherine."
"Does it feel strange to know that one of your friends is going to be married soon?" His mother began to pour some tea into a second cup, and Davey realized that, despite the fact that she wasn't going to question him about what had happened that night, she was intent on having a conversation. Normally, she would have encouraged him to get some sleep, but for whatever reason, it seemed like she wanted to talk.
"It does feel strange, a little," Davey admitted, receiving the cup that she offered him with a word of thanks. "It feels like we're too young to be thinking about settling down...but on the other hand, Jack and Katherine are pretty stuck on each other, so it makes sense that they'd want to make things official."
"There's nothing wrong with marrying young," his mother opined. "Your father and I got engaged when we were only eighteen years old, and it was challenging, but we managed."
"I suppose the main thing is finding the right person to work through the challenges with," he agreed. "That's probably more important than age."
His mother nodded, taking a sip of her tea and then giving him a thoughtful look. "Your father and I wondered if you would end up marrying young as well, actually," came her surprising disclosure. "You've always been mature for your age."
Davey didn't know what to say in response to that. He was sure that his mother meant it as a compliment, but even that knowledge didn't lessen the slight sting of her words. Perhaps he was mature for his age - if being serious and introspective and self-sufficient counted as maturity - but those traits were hardly enough to make him endearing or desirable. Experience had taught him that much.
"I suppose you know the answer to that now," he said aloud, forcing a smile. "No danger of early nuptials for me; I have to find someone who'll be willing to put up with me, first."
It was meant to be a humorous quip, but his mother looked troubled, and he remembered belatedly that he couldn't joke around with her like he did with the newsies.
"Surely you don't mean that, David," she admonished. "You have so many good qualities. Anyone would be fortunate to have you."
He shrugged. "I don't have time for that sort of thing, anyway."
In his mind, it was an adequate deflection, for his parents had always praised his industriousness, and he thought that placing the focus on his work and his other responsibilities would be a surefire way to get his mother to drop the subject, but instead she looked even more unsettled than before.
"David…" she said slowly, "if your father and I hadn't interfered with you and Sadie, would you have - "
"No," he said quickly, not wanting to hear the rest of what she'd been about to say. "No, I wouldn't have."
The swift reaction had been instinctive, for normally he would have never been so rude as to cut her off, but he didn't want to talk about Sadie right then, didn't want to revisit the painful conversation where reality had fallen upon him, cold and unrelenting.
His mother sighed. "We were too hard on you," she said, and he could hear the regret in her voice.
Davey shrugged again. "You were right." He drained his tea, then got up to set the cup and saucer in the sink, very much wanting to be done with the conversation in light of its unexpected turn. He knew that even if his mother was second-guessing herself now, his father was unlikely to soften, and as such, there was no reason to dwell on the matter, especially not when the camaraderie between Sadie and himself had already been broken...and not when he would have never confessed his feelings to her, anyway.
"If it's all right, I'll head to bed now," he said, turning back to face his mother. "It's been a long day."
She nodded. "Of course, David." Rising, she took her own cup to the sink, then tidied the kitchen table before closing her book and taking up her candle.
"Rest well," she said. "I'll see you in the morning."
She gave him a smile, but Davey caught the remorseful look on her face before she retired to the bedroom.
Maybe he should have extracted himself from their conversation a little more slowly.
Soberly, he began his own preparations for bed. He knew that sleep would likely be elusive for a while, for he was still too wound up, but lying awake was preferable to fielding awkward questions about his feelings for Sadie and retreading the complexities of their situation that he was only too aware of. He still hadn't fully processed the events of the evening, either, and knew it would take some time for him to sort through the matter. Until he did, it would be difficult to be at ease. He was too tired to address the matter at present, though, so further reflection would need to be deferred until the following day.
Having resolved this, Davey finished getting ready for the night, trying to be quiet so as not to disturb Les. When he finally got into bed, however, he found that the younger boy must have been only dozing, for his eyes blinked open as the mattress shifted under Davey's weight, and he rolled on his side, regarding his brother with a half-drowsy, half-curious expression.
"Sorry," Davey whispered, settling the blanket that they shared into place again. "I didn't mean to wake you up."
Les only yawned in answer, but as Davey extinguished the lamp beside their bed and laid down, he felt his brother's head butt up against his shoulder for just a moment before Les rolled back over to his own side of the mattress.
"David?" he murmured sleepily. "Someday I hope I'm as good and as brave as you are."
It was telling that Davey's first reaction was to make a joke about how he must be dreaming, for there was no way that Les would be complimenting him like that under normal circumstances...but something in him knew that his brother's words had been both lucid and sincere, and this touched him, for it was the first time that Les had said anything of the sort for as long as Davey had known him.
He was about to reply with an equally-sincere compliment, but before he could come up with the words, he heard the sound of Les snoring softly.
Setting the thought aside, Davey rolled over, looking past his brother's sleeping form to gaze out of the window beside their bed. The moonlight shone softly behind the curtains, and he felt himself relax a little as weariness set in, the tension that he'd been holding in for the last hour beginning to slowly dissipate...
Just as he began to doze off, a thought crossed his mind, a recollection of something that Sadie had said and the subsequent idea that maybe it could be part of a solution to one of the problems that he'd been mulling over. It would be a slightly unconventional approach, and he wasn't sure if it would work, but the possibility was intriguing, maybe even inspired, and a little intimidating, and...
He fell asleep before he could finish the thought.
A/N: A bit more Savey and a heartwarming brother moment to close out the year. Please let me know what you thought of this installment. :) Thank you so much for sticking with this story this far, and have a happy new year!