Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and DAN DA DAN.

Warning: Curse words. Sensitive language.

Chapter 6

Where are his balls?!

"Faster, Okarun! He's catching up!"

"Can't do that, Momo-chan~ If I go any faster, my legs will break."

The duo had been running from the alleyway where they encountered the yokai. Yet, even with Turbo Granny's power, the blue-skinned demon had been right on their tails the whole time. In fact, it could have caught up to them within minutes into their run, but it chose to remain a few feet behind them on purpose. And the yokai didn't seem intent on attacking them either, which made Momo scratch her head at its confusing behavior.

However, whatever thought the young Ayase had in her mind came to a stop when there was a loud honk from their right. Shit! It seemed they had approached a crossroad, and a car was coming at them fast. However, it didn't look like Okarun was reacting to it.

"Car, Okarun! Car!" Momo yelled, clutching her friend's shoulders.

"Ahh~ what a bummer. But I can't stop right now." The transformed Okarun replied, still going at full speed. The only thing Momo could do was to scream when the car was getting closer and hope for the best. "AHHHHH"

Just as the car was about to hit them, the blue-skinned yokai from behind immediately flew ahead and smashed into the vehicle, sending it swirling all over the road before crashing into a streetlight. Both Momo and Okarun breathed a sigh of relief, escaping with their lives thanks to their demonic pursuer. Speaking of it, Momo turned her head back to look for the yokai. But it was nowhere to be seen. She frowned, "Where's it gone? Did it die? But ... no way."

"What is it, Momo-chan?" The transformed Okarun asked when he heard Momo mumbling to herself as he continued his run. But he could feel his energy was depleting quickly.

Momo shook her head, "Never mind. Let's just get home first."

Thankfully, they arrived at their destination without a hitch after that incident. Momo was swiping away her sweat while Okarun dropped dead on the ground, having exhausted both his energy and willpower. His Turbo Granny form had retracted. Momo sighed in pity as she looked at the face-down form of her friend before lifting his arm and wrapping it round her shoulders. She then helped him up and entered her compound.

Opening the front door, Momo dragged the exhausted Okarun and dropped him to the floor in the living room. It seemed the boy had already fallen asleep by that point as he rolled over unceremoniously. Hearing footsteps, Momo turned around and saw a person she hadn't expected to see. Her eyes widened in surprise. "Jiji?! What are you doing here?!"

(Earlier)

Naruto and Seiko were sitting in seiza on the tatami floor of Seiko's isolated inner shrine room and sipping green tea while the bound Jiji was facing them, kneeling with his hands apprehended. At the moment, the evil spirit once possessing the boy and his mother was being suppressed by Naruto's Yin-release Truth-Seeking staff, which were morphed into a pair of handcuffs.

"Can you please take off these handcuffs first, Uncle? I promise I'll do anything you say." Jiji exclaimed dramatically, his eyes shining with dangling fake tears and his shoulders swaying. "I don't like this basement. Can we go outside?"

Seiko raised an eyebrow at the sight while Naruto spat out his tea. "What the f- You idiot! You're making me look like a [PDF file]!"

"Well, you always liked hanging around with kids at the playgrounds and doing magic shows for them, then giving them sweets. If that wasn't sus, what would be then, huh?!" Jiji refuted, which made Naruto lean over and swipe at Jiji's face in indignation, but the young man marginally ducked. "So, remove these cuffs, then I'll say ya' the best man in da world."

"You ungrateful brat, I was saving them from those spirits that targeted kids. And last I remembered, I also saved your ass from one of those clowns. If you had taken that balloon it offered you, you woulda ended up as rats' food in the sewer."

"Morons." Seiko muttered to herself as the two men argued incessantly like children. But at least Jiji was back to his dramatic, mischievous self. She coughed loudly to stop the two since her ears were starting to hurt from their raucous quarrel. "Are you two done?"

Her flat yet piercing eyes were very effective because Naruto and Jiji sat down in their respective seats obediently. "Yes ma'am."

"Good. Then, let's cut to the chase." Seiko adjusted her eyeglasses, "At first, I was going to investigate your house, Jiji, and probably involve Momo later on too when we decide on how to proceed with the exorcism. But since things had already panned out this way, I guess we'll just do it here."

Jiji remained silent with a solemn expression. Seiko continued, "Since your parents are hospitalized right now, I have to ask for consent directly from you. So, do you agree to let me exorcise you now?"

Although exorcisms were within the boundary of her duties as a spiritual medium, consent from the victims was also a necessity according to the norms of immaterial possession. If the victims were not willing to be cured, exorcism efforts would not be totally effective either. In short, even though the evil spirits were forcefully forced out, there would still be lingering marks on the body. As a result, the condition could recur in the future if the victims' mind was unsteady as those spirits would seize that lapse of weakened willpower to overwhelm and take over control of the body. Thus, it was incredibly important that the victims willfully followed the exorcism efforts for the result to be long-lasting and unwavering.

"Can-" The tall young man looked unsure. "Can we wait for a few more days?"

"Why?" Naruto asked, flabbergasted by Jiji's hesitation. In the blonde's mind, there was nothing to wait for. Evil spirits must be exorcised at all costs. Disaster would be the only outcome if they were left unchecked. However, Seiko shook her head slightly at him, stopping his retort. Naruto sucked his teeth but relented, nonetheless.

"Alright. We can wait a few days, but no more than that." Seiko gave Jiji an ultimatum. Jiji nodded in agreement. "Then for the time being, you shall wear those cuffs while going about your days."

"Ehhhh~" Jiji groaned. Naruto bonked the boy's head with his knuckles. "Don't you ehhhh~ us. You either wear them, or you stay in this room until we 'done exorcising you."

The auburn-hair young man pouted, his arms crossed. "Ow..."

The blonde man sighed at his childish reaction. "In all seriousness though, you need these cuffs to make sure it won't mess with your mind. I beat up that bastard pretty bad, so it'll be too weak to break out for a while. The cuffs should be enough to stop it from escaping... unlike Okarun's case which required Momo to be with him at all times to suppress that stanky-legs granny."

Seiko nodded sagely. Jiji tilted his head, confusion on his face. "Stank-legs granny who? And who's Okarun? Why must Momo be with him at all times?"

Naruto's eyebrows rose. His amusement spiked as his lips twitched into a smile. He could sense a hint of jealousy here. "What... you're jealous?"

"Me jealous?" Jiji scoffed childishly, "No way José. I can woo whoever I want with this awesome face of mine. Plus, Momo and I have known each other since childhood. Why should I worry?"

Naruto smirked, a devilish glinted in his eyes. The blonde knew he was going to enjoy this love show. He already had enough shit during his teen years. Now it was time for him to be on the giving end. "Ya' sure about that, bud? Cuz the last time I saw the two together, they were pretty palsy-walsy. And for me personally, I'd put my money on Okarun."

Seiko rolled her eyes at her partner's diabolical attempt to cause drama by rousing up the boy's teenage competitiveness. Although... she got to admit that she might also enjoy what Naruto was cooking here. Seiko wouldn't join in to stir up some more, but she wouldn't stop it either.

Naruto laid down a final trap. "You still think you can beat him, brat?"

A fire ignited in Jiji's eyes. "Bet."

An evil laugh rang out in the blonde's mind. Get your popcorn ready, Kurama. A loud shuffling of movement and rumbling within his mindscape were his answer. The urge to rub his hands and break into a villainous smile was too tempting.

Meanwhile, Seiko was making her way to the door of the shrine room before a strange feeling arose. It felt like something in the back of her mind was telling her that the timeline had somehow been screwed over, and events had not turned out the way they were designed to. Maybe Izanami was telling me something? But Seiko blinked and brushed away that thought. She then turned back and asked, "By the way, I assume you'll be transferring school. To Kami High?"

Jiji abruptly jumped up and struck a pointing pose with his fingers. "Yeh~ you got that right, Auntie. Ya' so gorgeous and smart! Woo~ ... unlike some geezer."

Naruto's eyes twitched, another intrusive thought trying to pop up, but the blonde quietly rationalized with himself. Don't kill him yet; we've got a shitshow to watch. Don't kill him yet; he's an important character.

Unaware of her partner's brief bout of insanity, Seiko broke into an arrogant smile hearing the boy's compliment. "I see you're quite a genius, Jiji. Anyway, since you'll be seeing Momo quite often from now on, you'd better behave yourself. I won't tolerate your nonsense, 'ya hear?"

Jiji saluted, "Roger that, ma'am. I'll take super-duper good care of her. Woo yeh~"

Naruto blinked twice as he looked over the horizon. Now that he thought about it, dusk had already fallen. Momo and Okarun should have arrived by now. Where in the world are they?

"Naruto." Seiko suddenly called, now leaning on the door frame of the shrine room. The blonde man hummed in response. Seiko pursed her lips, silent for a second before continuing, "I've got something to tell you. About what happened... when I went down under."

"Alright." Naruto nodded then glanced back to address the sitting Jiji. "Go hang out in the living room in the main house, brat. Make yourself something to eat. The adults are talking." The tall teenager mumbled unintelligibly in mockery of the blonde man before ducking and running away quickly from Naruto's fists.

Now with Jiji gone, the two partners sat back down on the tatami-mat floor. Seiko shifted uncomfortably, adjusting her eyeglasses. Naruto raised an eyebrow. He rarely ever saw her this uncomfortable and uncertain. For as long as he had known her, Seiko always had something to say. Outspoken and unapologetic. Sometimes even opinionated when it came to subjects she was concerned about. The two had even got into arguments because of that since he too was quite a bit of a loudmouth himself.

The blonde reached for her hands. "Do you really wanna talk about it? If not, we can-"

"I made a deal with Izanami." Seiko abruptly cut him off.

"You what?"

Seiko sighed. The spirit medium could sense an incoming headache after the conversation they were about to have. "When I lost consciousness, I was transported to Limbo, a place between the living plane and the death realm. There I met Izanami. Or more like she personally visited me."

Naruto's jaw dropped as a dreadful feeling manifested in his mind. "What did you guys talk about? Don't tell me-...?"

"Yes." Seiko bit her lips, pulling out her cigarette out of habit to relieve her stress. She then spun it around her fingers subconsciously. "She promised to revive me in exchange for a deal with her."

Naruto crossed his arms, not liking what he was hearing. He wasn't angry at her, but more at the situation itself. "And what's the deal?"

"There are two options. Reopen the Demon Gate, or..." Seiko blocked her cough with her hand. "Give her our... offspring."

"And which option did you choose?"

"The first one, of course! I'm not stupid to let her harm you and us!" Seiko blurted quickly. "Plus, she said that there will be an alien invasion and that allowing her demons to roam the physical plane will give us a chance to withstand the aliens' attack. And in all honesty, it sounded reasonable enough. That's why I accepted."

"I don't give a shit about some alien invasion, Seiko." Naruto snorted, which stunned the spirit medium. She expected him to be relieved by her choice of protecting them, but he looked bothered instead. Naruto then spoke in a sarcastic tone. "It's just plain stupid to literally make a deal with the Devil."

Seiko was rendered speechless. She could feel anger rising within her. "Well, genius. I didn't have a choice! If I wanted to make it out alive, I had to do what she said."

Naruto countered without hesitation, carelessly shrugging his shoulders. "I could have revived you by myself." Seiko was taken aback by what he said. The fact that he was implying he could bypass death and just brought her back to life that easily like he was doing a magic trick. Who was he? Another death god?

"Did you even hear what you said, Naruto?"

"I truly could. I mean, sure I would lose a big chunk of my Sage Path power, and I might not recover that power. But I would still have more than enough to fight those aliens. Heck, I think I could still kick her ass if given the chance."

With the blonde looking so confident with his words, Seiko almost believed him. "Then why didn't you tell me beforehand?" Of course, she said that with a ginormous amount of sarcasm she could inject into her speech.

Naruto retorted, his eyes firmly locking onto Seiko's. His next words were firm, with no trace of jest whatsoever. "Because I didn't expect you to die. If I had known that, I would have traded my life for yours."

The white-hair spirit medium widened her eyes. She felt a pang in her chest, words stuck in her throat. Her eyes began to water. Any sign of her petty refutation shattered. Naruto proceeded with all the sincerity he had. "You know, you are more important to me than anything. Anything. You are the beacon of light in the later part of my depressing, empty, dark and desolate existence, Seiko. So yes, I would have traded this power of mine to bring you back without a second thought."

As soon as he finished, Seiko immediately reached over and hugged him with all her strength. Never in her life had she had someone risking their life for her, caring so much for her. It had always been the reverse, her sacrificing for others. Naruto and she had known each other for a long time, but this was the first time he had laid bare his heart as such. She never wanted to let him go. She wouldn't.

"I'm sorry."

The two embraced in what felt like forever. But a knock on the door interrupted them. Jiji's head poked out from the door frame. The tall teenager smacked his lips in awkwardness. As much as Jiji liked to annoy the living shit out of Naruto, he was grateful and respected the man like his family. Seeing the two adults in such intimacy, Jiji couldn't help but feel guilty for disturbing them. "Uh... sorry to interrupt, Auntie and Uncle. But I think Momo and her friend are here."

(Back to present)

"Ahhh~ So it's like that." Momo exclaimed, sitting on the sofa in the living room. Her grandma had just explained her childhood friend's situation while the boy himself was poking around Okarun's sleeping form with his feet. Soon after, Naruto brought her a glass of cold water which Momo accepted gratefully. Screaming endlessly on the way here had made her throat coarse. "Oi! Stop bothering Okarun's sleep, Jiji!"

"And care to explain what happened to you, little missy?" Naruto asked, plopping down on the sofa next to her, which caused the young girl to bounce off her seat slightly.

Gulping up her water, Momo let out a lengthy breath. Just the thought of it made her stressed. "When we were walking back from school, a yokai attacked us. And when that yokai was thrashing us around, another yokai appeared and beat the first yokai. For some reason, the new yokai deliberately targeted the first one and left me and Okarun alone. Eventually, the new one beat and killed the old one. Then..."

"Then what?" Naruto noticed the girl's grimace when she stopped talking.

The disturbing scene was still fresh in her mind. She reluctantly continued, "Then it began to eat the dead yokai... After that, we tried to run away. But it followed us closely, never letting off. However, I found something really strange. Actually, two things."

Both Naruto and Seiko were listening attentively. The sudden influx of yokai appearances was certainly alerting. The supernatural beasts normally wouldn't reveal themselves willingly to the public. The numerous records of their existence were usually the results of accidental encounters with humans. But to actually seek out Momo and Okarun like that... something must have been attracting them to the two kids.

"What are they?" Seiko asked.

Momo frowned as she tried to recall the incident. "One, when we were about to be hit by a car, the new yokai saved us by crashing into that car. And as I tried to look for it, it just disappeared."

Naruto drummed the coffee table in front of them with his fingers as he thought about Momo's account. A demon that saved humans? It was strange indeed. Then he noticed Seiko's silence which seemed out of place. Whenever she heard her granddaughter's life was in danger, Seiko would, for lack of better words, go bad-shit crazy and settle scores with whoever dared to threaten Momo. This time, however, she looked to be entranced in thoughts. Saving that for later conversation, Naruto continued to ask, "And the second strange thing?"

Momo glanced at the sleeping Okarun before replying, "Okarun still has Turbo Granny's power. It awoken when the first yokai attacked us and when we were running away from the second yokai. Do you know what's going on, old man? Is Turbo Granny really not dead yet?"

Naruto grunted. Things had become really messy. Now with Jiji here too, they essentially had two boys with evil spirits inside their body. Two walking time bombs. Two Jinchuriki's. The blonde could taste the irony here. "Well... only one way to find out."

Okarun groggily opened his eyes. That was one of the best naps he had ever had. He had been running his feet off while carrying Momo on his back. After reaching his limit, he just collapsed, and that was all he remembered. Okarun tried to raise his arms to stretch, but he couldn't move. He frantically looked at his body and found himself tied up. "Uh?"

"Wakey wakey, brat. Did 'ya have a good dream?" A familiar voice brought Okarun to reality. The boy looked around and saw Naruto standing in front of him with a grin on his whiskered face.

"What's going on, Naruto-sensei? Why am I tied up?"

"Sensei?" Okarun glanced at Momo who was nearby. She was pointing both her arms at him as if conjuring her psychic arms toward him.

"Get ready, Momo. Time to confirm whether his balls are still missing." This time it was Seiko's voice he was hearing from behind him. With a huge white paper fan in her hands, she was standing in the pose of a baseball player ready to swing her bat. "As soon as I hit him, try to grab the aura that you see phasing out of his body. Then yank it toward that cat doll."

"Got it!" Momo replied seriously, with intense focus.

"Wait a second! What do you mean hitting me?" Okarun almost pleaded, still in the dark of what was happening.

"Pfft! His balls are missing?! Like for real for real? That's hilarious, man!" Okarun heard an unfamiliar voice. It was another boy he didn't recognize. The unfamiliar person was holding his stomach in laughter, which kinda pissed Okarun off honestly.

"3... 2...1! Hit it!" Naruto counted down before Seiko swung her fan at Okarun's back. The eyeglasses-wearing boy lurched forward, his mouth wide open as something was forcefully ejected from his body. Okarun fell to the floor in a splash of water from the basin underneath his feet. His head swirled as he saw stars and felt nauseous from the weird sensation.

All Okarun could hear was a struggling noise from the cat doll and Naruto's laugh before unconsciousness consumed him once again.

"Well well well. What have we here?" Naruto grinned as he grabbed the head of the cat doll, holding it midair high above the floor. The doll was wagging its paws unsuccessfully against the grip. "Welcome back, granny~"

"Get your dirty hands off me, you stupid fucker!"

"Oohhh~ watch your mouth, granny. Or I'm gonna have to spank you for being naughty." Naruto shook the doll around.

"Fuck off-" The blonde slapped Turbo Granny's doll in the face.

"I'm gonna kil-" The blonde gave another slap.

"Just you wai-" Naruto slapped the doll again.

"Okay I'll sto-" And another one.

Turbo Granny's doll slumped in exhaustion, taking labored breaths. "Please stop hitting me."

Naruto snorted, satisfied with her surrender. "Good good. Now, we've got some questions for you. And I hope you will answer them sincerely. I don't wanna hurt you again. Ok, granny?"

The doll nodded dejectedly. Seeing no more sign of resistance, Naruto continued, "Tell me, are Okarun's balls still missing?" He received a nod. "Where are they?"

Turbo Granny's doll chuckled weakly then broke into a laugh, showing zero sense of remorse. "You'll never find them!"

Naruto cracked his neck before his eyes turned slitted and crimson red. A black rod was conjured out of his right hand. The last ninja pointed its sharp edge at the doll's forehead. "Look here, you old hag. Tell us where you hide his balls right now, or I'll boot your ass all the way to the Underworld."

The yokai doll snarled back fearlessly. "You're going to do nothing, fools!"

"Oh, you don't believe me? Seiko..." The blonde man chuckled mirthlessly as he turned to address his partner, "Did Izanami teach you the shortcut on how to open the Demon Gate?"

At the mention of the Goddess of Death and Kimon (Demon Gate), Turbo Granny's doll immediately started sweating cold sweats. Meanwhile, Seiko was watching the scene with a smug expression and a sense of enthrallment in her eyes. Whenever Naruto got into his psycho-mode, the spirit medium felt thrilled and pitied whoever was on the receiving end of it. Although she sympathized with the Granny for consoling the lost souls of those tragic girls, hurting the still-livings was a no-no. "Yes."

"Good. Why don't we open it up real quick so that granny can see it with her own eyes at where she's going to go soon."

Seiko brought forward a mirror, placing it to face toward northeastern direction. Then, she put down an incense holder and lit a stick of incense. Afterward, Seiko began the Shinto ritual incantations, Norito, but in reverse.

"Done be wilt will thy,

Soul our of expansion the for.

Us protect and us bless,

Meishu-sama.

Us protect and us bless,

Miroku-Oomikami.

..."

Momo and Jiji, who were standing on the sideline watching the two adult's confrontation with the demon-possessed doll, had chills rolled down their spines when they heard the chants. Cold wind started to permeate the living room of the house.

With the sweating yokai doll in his grip, Naruto stepped in front of the mirror. The mirror surface turned dark as their reflection disappeared, replaced by growing dark clouds. Inside the frame was a hollow dark abyss, except for the thousands of glowing eye-shape lights. "See there, granny. Those underworld creatures are waiting for you. Hungry to devour you. Tear into your flesh. Gnaw on your bones. Ooooh~ they love the taste of their fellow yokai. Tell me, do you still want to test your luck with me?"

The mirror that held the Demon Gate was convulsing more and more as time went on. And just like it, Turbo Granny doll rapidly shook its head, looking at the blonde and pleading. "No no no no! I'll tell you where I left his balls! Please don't throw me in there!"

Naruto grinned before instantly glaring at the frozen form of Jiji. "That goes for you too, you crooked-eyes bastard." The tall, auburn-hair boy looked at the blonde man in shock.

"I'm not talking about you, brat. But the one inside you." Naruto continued, "If I find out that you make a peep and mess around with the kids, I'll snatch your ass, wrap you up real good, and give to Izanami as a thank you gift. 'Ya hear?"

Jiji felt a slight heat inside his stomach as he brought a hand to cover it. Momo was now looking at him with questions and worries. Seiko stopped her chanting when Naruto signaled her to do so. The makeshift gate to the Underworld no longer spasmed, returning to its original state of a normal mirror. The psychotic vibe from the blonde man also vanished without a trace.

With an eye smile, Naruto patted Turbo Granny's doll on the head. "Now, it's been a long day for everyone. Let's have a nice heartwarming dinner, shall we?"

"Sir? Sir?" said a man with short, spiky black hair, knocking on the side mirror of a car. Kiba was walking on the sideway, just leaving his workplace to get to a convenience store to buy a small dinner when he witnessed a silver-colored SUV suddenly swirling all over the main road before crashing into a streetlight. He suspected the driver was trying to avoid hitting a pair of highschoolers who were crossing the road on a red light. With other pedestrians already calling an ambulance, Kiba ran toward the car and checked on the driver instead.

As Kiba peered inside, he saw a middle-aged man with receding hairline wearing a light color suit. On the left of the suit was a school logo. By how the man dressed, Kiba assumed the driver might have been a teacher, or a principal. But even from outside the car, Kiba caught a strange whiff of smell from within, specifically from the driver himself. His sense of smell had always been very good, exceptionally stronger than other people that he knew. And it told him that the smell from the driver wasn't the usual old man smell. However, Kiba ignored his curiosity when the driver awoke to his call. The middle-aged man massaged his temples slightly before looking back at Kiba.

"Are you alright, sir?" Kiba asked. The driver nodded weakly. "Don't worry, sir. There's an ambulance coming to pick you up. But can you open the door first?"

The old driver showed a grateful smile. "I'm okay, young man. There's no need." Then he checked the inside of his car before twisting the car key to ignite the engine.

"Wait, sir! Just stay still. Your car hit the pole pretty badly. You need to go to the hospital." Kiba replied with a frown on his face.

"It's okay, young man. Look, my car's totally fine."

"No sir. It's not-" Kiba still tried to convince the driver before stopping when he glanced at the front of the SUV. There was no sign of damage at all. No dent. No scratch. No broken headlight. And when Kiba turned to the light pole, it was also in perfect condition. "What the..."

The black-haired corporate slave looked around to confirm with other people if they saw the same thing as him, but they had already dispersed and gone about their way. Kiba blinked owlishly a few times, speechless. He felt like his brain was not braining at the moment.

"Thank you, young man, for checking up on me." The old driver thanked Kiba before putting on his seatbelt. "I'll get going now. Have a nice evening!"

Kiba stepped back onto the sidewalk mindlessly, waving at the departing car. He stood there for a few more seconds before leaving as well, scratching his head at the bizarre situation. "Eh?"

Meanwhile, the old driver resumed his journey. His pitiful expression earlier was gone as he looked at the road ahead with a blank face. He then pushed a hidden button on the side of the wheel. "Sample acquired. Prepare the room. We will conduct the experiment at once."

A/N: Happy New Year, everyone! Hope your 2024 was well spent. And cheers to a brighter 2025! Honestly, I was gonna take a longer break during Christmas and at the end of the year. But I thought it might be better to post on this auspicious day. And one more thing I find out is that having neighbors with blaring speakers and unintelligible singing is actually universal... I already moved out of my country and still couldn't escape it. Anyway, hope you enjoy the chapter and your holiday. See you in the next one.