Blurb: After Henry Tilney's death, he is sent to a "good" neighborhood to spend the rest of eternity. A Good Place AU. Jane-uary 2025 event.

THE GOOD NA-BORHOOD

Day 2: Harp

Chapter Summary: Henry meets Michael's assistant and begins his tour.

There was a soft glissando as if someone had struck a harp.

There was a soft glissando as if someone had struck a harp. Henry looked over his shoulder, expecting a woman to walk through the office door. In the split second it took to rotate his head, he wondered if this assistant would also be wearing authority camouflage and who she might look like, perhaps his mother? But just as he caught sight of the door, he realized that there was already somebody in the room standing next to him.

"Hi!" she greeted cheerily and Henry nearly jumped out of his chair.

"Mr. Tilney, this is Catherine, the neighborhood's assistant," Michael performed the introduction.

Once he got over his shock, he had to admit that Catherine was pretty in an ingenue sort of way. She looked friendly and open and not very smart, the sort of woman he'd give his coffee order to. Wholesome, that was the word.

"Are you a fire squid too?" he couldn't help asking. "Or an electric tarantula? Acid snake? Are you wearing one of those camo suits to make you look attractive?"

"No," Catherine said enthusiastically, "to all of that. I'm just a Catherine, and I always look like this."

"Well, I mean, your appearance does depend on the neighborhood," Michael reminded her. To Henry he explained, "There's a lot of variability among the neighborhoods. They can be warmer or colder; wetter or drier; mountainous or flat; forested or grassland; sunny or the deepest, darkest pit. Some places, you can walk all day and not see another person. Each Catherine dresses for the environment, but yeah, she is what she appears to be."

"So you're human?" Henry asked her.

"No," Catherine told him with a warm smile.

"Not quite what she appears to be, then," Michael corrected himself. "Maybe a demonstration of use is in order. Mr. Tilney, why don't you ask her for something?"

Henry suddenly realized that, being dead, he didn't technically need anything. He wasn't hot or cold, hungry or thirsty, or anything else to be honest. But Catherine looked so open to the idea, so eager to help, that he had to say something.

"Can I get some water?" he asked, picking the simplest thing he could think of.

There was the harp sound again and Catherine handed him a glass of water that had never existed until that moment with a pleasant smile.

Having asked for it, he knew he had to accept it. Henry took the glass and drank from it. It was probably the most perfect glass of water he'd ever had: the perfect temperature, the perfect taste, the perfect quantity of water, the perfect shape in his hand.

"Thank you," he said as he put the empty glass on the desk. Sheepishly, he realized that he meant it.

"Catherine can provide the residents with things, but she can also provide you with information," Michael informed him. "Ask her a question."

"Catherine," Henry thought about it, "how many people are in this neighborhood?"

"The neighborhood was designed to hold 424 people but it is not yet full," she told him. "Not counting Michael or myself, there are 315 residents here now."

"Only 424 max?" The number seemed terribly small. "That's not very large."

"The type and capacity of each neighborhood is set by the Architectural Review Board, which also assigns every human to their afterlife," Michael answered.

The scale of that sounded impossible. "There are a lot of humans dying every day," Henry said.

"You'd be surprised what you can do when time and space are just suggestions," Michael replied with a deprecating shrug.

"What if I want to go to another neighborhood to visit family or friends?"

"Travel and communication between neighborhoods is strictly regulated," Catherine warned him.

"You might even think of it as forbidden for humans," Michael clarified. "Thank you, Catherine."

With no further notice, she was gone. Henry found her sudden disappearance just as unsettling as her surprise appearance.

"The Review Board knows you, Mr. Tilney," Michael continued when they were alone. "They know all about you. And they know this is the best place for you. And soon, you'll realize that too."

With that Michael stood up and Henry did the same. "Alright, son, are you ready to see your new home?"

Henry swallowed before he nodded. "Yes, sir."