Zoro only shook his head in exasperation as Usopp fell. This would've been much more alarming had the cause not been clear.
Really, he should know better than to fool around Nami, especially when she was working on cartography. The result was never in doubt the moment his new gizmo touched the paper.
''You're just lucky your stupid trick didn't mess up my sheets!''
''Don't you have plenty of that stuff though?'' Zoro wondered.
''Not the point! How would you feel if someone ruined your gear?''
…Okay, he'd give her that one.
''What've you been doing this whole time anyway?'' Curious despite himself, he snuck a glance over her shoulder ''Wait, are there really any islands around? We've seen nothing but waters for hours.''
''Hm? Oh, I'm practicing for my world map. I can't really get it right the first time and this helps keeps my skills sharp.''
''Nice.'' He nodded in appreciation of her zeal.
Robin looked similarly impressed ''Well, that's quite diligent-although your skills certainly are excellent, for the record.''
Nami beamed, the three turning slightly as Luffy jumped down from his seat. The captain's attention mostly on his quartermaster ''What're you doing?''
Miguel kept his eye on the blade he was examining ''I want to see what I can learn about the swords from Skypiea. Considering the stuff we've seen; odds are they could have some sort of special trick…''
''Oh, cool! Let's see, let's see!''
''Hold on, why didn't he just ask back there?'' Usopp wondered.
''Gee, I wonder. Do the words 'cannon' and 'getaway' ring any bells?'' He and Nami evaded Zoro's knowing smirk, Robin muffling a smile.
Miguel gave the sword another experimental swing, he could've sworn he felt something shift for a moment…
It was then that he noticed the elongated hand grabbing his second sword, bringing his attention to Luffy ''That's a weird sword.''
''That's why I'm trying to figure them out, just leave it be.'' Miguel put in.
''Don't be stingy, I wanna try!''
''It's common sense, as in the same reason most of us don't trust you with a sharp object.'' Nami put in sweetly, Zoro and Usopp concurring.
''Mean!''
Luffy pointedly turned his back to them, swinging the sword again. Zoro couldn't help but note the oddity mentioned earlier. The hilt was oddly thick, to the point that the sword seemed awkward to handle. Was that on purpose?
''Almost…''
A yelp escaped the teen as a flying blade came quite close to him a moment later, landing down. ''…hey, what the heck?!''
But Miguel was likewise baffled, his eyes on the odd chain connecting the blade to the hilt ''I…think that's the 'trick.'''
Nami and Usopp sniggered. Given all the heart attacks Luffy caused them, they considered this quite refreshing.
''You jerks!''
''Sorry, but we did warn you.'' Similarly amused, Miguel was left wondering how to retract the blade. ''Let's see…maybe like this?''
He pulled his hand back, trying again when it didn't work. This time the blade flew back the way it came. Zoro cocked his head ''Guess it works based on movement, sounds troublesome. Oh, here.''
Luffy hadn't even noticed the sword had been taken from him ''Hey!''
Then came Chopper's cry from the lookout, alerting them of the island up ahead…
''It sure is quiet…'' Chopper looked around with interest. Thankfully, unlike their last destination, nothing felt out of the ordinary here. He hoped it stayed that way.
''Chopper!''
The reindeer approached Sanji, who was holding what looked like ''…Is that a banana?''
''Yeah, it sure took me by surprise.'' The banana would not have stood out so much if it wasn't for the fact that it was almost three times as long as a normal banana ''Can you smell anything strange?''
Chopper took a few whiffs, shaking his head. Sanji decided to put it aside before gathering a few more nearby ''Are you going to use these?''
''I'm willing to try, besides, when you're a chef of the sea you learn to make use of every resource possible. And considering our captain, I like to think of this as a vital skill.''
''Fair enough…'' Chopper nodded, Sanji had rationed their food carefully but no amount of preparation would be enough against Luffy's black hole of a stomach ''…come to think of it, even some of those trees are too tall…''
''Apparently, it's not just the trees…'' Both glanced at the confused Miguel, following his line of sight to find a very, very long dog.
''What the hell is with this place?'' Sanji uttered as Chopper's jaw dropped.
''That…that shouldn't even be physically possible!''
Luffy and Usopp spotted the dog too, the first being quite interested to see if it would do any tricks. Which turned out to be a bad idea as the command to sit coincided with Usopp attempting to bend low under his long frame, resulting in him being smashed a moment later.
Chopper freaked, Miguel cringing sympathetically ''Usopp!''
''He'll be fine.'' Sanji waved off, this seemed to be proven true quickly as the teen was already trying to strangle Luffy ''Anyway, can you get a few more fruits, Miguel? Might as well make the most of this.''
''Sure.'' The two watched as the quartermaster cast Meteor and flew on.
''This is one weird place.'' Usopp joined the pair, Luffy quickly catching up.
''Yeah? I think it's boring, it's like there's nothing here at all.''
The sniper only shot him a bland look ''Nami says the log pose didn't even lock to this place. Robin's still looking around but nothing turned up so far.''
''Huh, Miguel's picking up some fruits but maybe we just won't stay long then.'' Sanji figured that was actually more than likely to be the case if Luffy had his way.
''Then what about Zoro?'' Chopper put in.
''I think he might have stayed on Merry…not sure…'' Usopp scratched his head.
''Sure hope so, we don't need to worry about that moron. There's no telling where he might wind up.'' Sanji perked up as Robin approached.
Luffy glanced at the trees ''Is Miguel still there?''
The cook blinked ''Now that you mention it…how much is he getting? Miguel!'' He could just barely make the wizard's frame out from here ''Ah, he probably can't hear me…''
''Let's have a look.'' Robin crossed her arms, a number of eyes growing on the trees. ''…That's odd, it seems he found someone.''
''Up there?'' Usopp clarified.
The answer turned out to be yes, as they found when Miguel returned moments later with an old man on his back.
And things only got stranger from there…
As it so happened, Zoro hadn't stayed on the ship. He'd decided it was a good opportunity to take a walk.
The island was indeed oddly quiet, both the trees and even the animals he'd seen so far being ridiculously long. Sure, they'd seen a lot of outrageous stuff on the Grand Line but there had been some reason behind them at least…
It was pretty quiet though, maybe he could take a nap?
Just as he lay down, the bushes rustled and Nami came out followed by a pretty white horse. He wasn't the least bit surprised to see its unnatural length ''I thought it was you.''
''What's with the horse?''
''I just found it, seems like it's looking for something so I thought I'd ask Chopper to check if she knows anything about this place.''
Zoro hummed ''He's back with the others, yeah? Should be easy enough.''
''And do you know where that is?'' Nami put in, smirking as he clicked his teeth ''Figures. Come on, we know someone who might be able to help.''
The horse followed her with a small whinny, a grumbling Zoro trudging along. Experience told him it was better to roll with this now rather than deal with more talk about directions again.
It wasn't his fault everything moved when he wasn't looking. They just didn't get it!
It hadn't taken long for them to return to the rest of the crew, coming across Usopp as the others were talking to the old man. ''Oh hey, there you are!''
Nami arched an eye ''What's going on?''
The answer baffled them even more, Zoro blinking ''So let me get this straight, that old guy was on those stilts for ten years?''
''Pretty much…'' The teen made no effort to hide his exasperation ''…that's why Chopper's insisting on examining but Tonjit keeps saying he's fine. The first thing he told us was that he planted those stilts to set some sort of record. I really don't get it.''
Nami glanced sideways ''Well, he seems awfully chipper for someone in a situation like that…''
''What's with the horse?'' Usopp added.
The girl's response died before it even began as the aforementioned subject ran out in front of them, giving a happy cry as she approached the old man.
Tonjit's countenance lit up ''Shelly!''
Chopper began to smile as he caught on to her happy rambling ''Oh, wow…guys, they've been friends for ages. She's been waiting for him all these years. Even with everyone gone, she couldn't ever give up.''
Usopp made a pleased noise, Sanji almost smiling ''Now isn't that something…''
He couldn't help thinking of Laboon for a moment, wondering why it couldn't have been anything like this for the poor whale.
At least this loyal companion had a happy ending for all her years of patience.
Tonjit was more than happy to tell them all they wanted to know about the island, which unfortunately may not be all that useful, given that his information was ten years out of date.
''I still can't believe you actually stayed on that thing for so long.'' Usopp confessed. ''I get it, it would've been scary high but still…''
''Oh, I was fed quite well from the fruit and I had no trouble getting water thanks to rain. As you can see, I'm hale and hearty!''
''That's really not the point…''
''Say, how come everything is so long here? Like those trees and that weird dog?'' Chopper put in.
''Oh, that's simple. Nothing really happens here you see, it's so peaceful that everything just grew out of boredom.''
To that, no one had any response. The strangest part was Tonjit's utterly manner of fact tone, because what in the world did that mean?
''She mentioned other people, right? Is there a town here or something?'' Zoro added.
''Oh, not around here. We simply migrate around the islands every few years or so.'' A pause ''My grandson started setting his own record when I planted my stilts, actually, I think he said he wanted to dig the deepest hole in the world with his pet mole.''
''A real chip off the old block, huh?'' Usopp snarked, apparently this ran in the family.
''You think so?'' Tonjit laughed.
''So, what are you going to do now?'' Nami wondered.
But just then a gun went off, the intended target let out a pained cry as she fell. Tonjit's eyes widening in horror ''Shelly!''
To make matters worse, a net sprung on the injured mare, dragging her over to the perpetrator.
It was a stout man with skinny arms and legs, his hair split into two spikes and a smug grin adorning his face. ''This little horse is mine, suckers!''
''You won't get away with this!'' Usopp seethed.
''Yeah! I don't care who you are, I'm kicking your ass!''
But even as he said it, Luffy couldn't help but stop and stare. For the man's apparent confidence seemed to evaporate ''W-what do you…you can't…''
''What's with this freak?'' Nami crossed her arms.
Similarly confused, Luffy shook the thought of and made to punch him. The man jumped back in time, seemingly shaking himself ''Not so fast! I am the great Foxy, captain of the Foxy pirates. What's mine is mine and what's yours is also mine! I've heard about you Straw Hat Luffy, imagine my surprise when my men happen to see you. Now naturally, this was a chance I had to seize…''
He went on to laud his crew, boasting about how he had 500 members under his flag and that the Straw Hats were nothing to them.
''…and of course you were just among the numerous fools who had the bad fortune to stumble across our turf….'' Foxy continued to walk as he gloated.
But most of the listeners had long stopped paying attention, namely due to what was going on to his right.
Shelly was levitated with the familiar violet aura surrounding her, the net falling as she rose into the air. Miguel wasted no time in examining the wound before healing her. The straw hats were struggling to hold back their amusement with Foxy being none the wiser, which just made this all the more hilarious.
Eventually, Luffy and Usopp couldn't hold back any further, breaking into loud peals of laughter. Foxy blinked ''What's so-ehhhh?!''
His dumbfounded expression only made them crack up further, even Shelly and Tonjit joining in.
Robin gave the two a mock chiding glance ''Come now, you two, you couldn't have waited just a bit longer? Just when Quartermaster-san was being so sneaky too…''
''That implies that I had to put in any effort.'' Miguel returned drolly. The guy was so in love with his own voice that it was a cakewalk, really.
Foxy's teeth were gnashing together in his ire ''You won't get away with this! No one makes a fool of the great 'Silver Fox' Foxy!''
''Why would they try? You're ridiculously good at it on your own.'' Nami remarked.
Chopper looked weirded out ''Is that really his title? I thought silver fox was what you call old people.''
The innocent statement left Foxy frozen where he stood, Robin smirking ''Close but not quite, Doctor-san. The phrase indicates older, attractive people. Do you think that applies here?''
Well, that was a no-brainer ''Nope.''
Zoro snorted, arching an eye at the lack of response. Given what they'd seen so far, he fully expected Foxy to be in arms at this slight. Thus, he was rather puzzled to find the man on his knees, his expression resembling one whose world view was upended.
''N-not…how could you say that…?''
''…Seriously?'' Just when he thought this guy couldn't get any more ridiculous.
Luffy decided enough was enough. With Shelly freed, he could teach the windbag a lesson ''All right, Gum Gum…''
Foxy blanched, his mind running ''Oh, what's that? Behind you!''
Nami groaned as he, Tonjit, Chopper and Usopp looked back ''Guys, that's the oldest trick in the book. He's…''
Luffy made an indignant noise, immediately chasing after Foxy as he retreated, heedless of his friends' calls to wait.
Sanji groaned ''Doesn't that idiot ever learn!?''
''You need to ask?'' Nami blinked as they heard a click before something seemed to make a snapping sound.
Frowning, Miguel followed the noise to the source to find a beartrap that had just activated before he cast Meteor, coming back shortly. ''I tried stopping them with gravity magic but I guess it missed.'' Of course, his first choice had been telekinesis had it not been for the simple fact that Luffy had obstructed his vision before he could use it.
''Can't you fly after them?'' Zoro added.
''I tried, but the place is a minefield. There's a whole bunch of traps that apparently go off at the slightest thing and I don't know which way they went. Besides, I saw what I'm pretty sure is his crew, I've no idea what we're walking into here…''
Chopper peeked through the bushes ''Whoa! What is all this?! This could get someone really hurt!''
''Which means we really better step it up and find Luffy before things get even worse. You better stay here, old timer, there's no telling what's really going on here.'' Usopp cautioned
''Oh, I couldn't! Your friend was so angered on Shelly's behalf and I for one want to see that bastard pay!'' Tonjit stated firmly.
''Well, if you're sure…''
''Then let's get going, the sooner we figure this out the better.'' Nami added.
Man, this guy could run!
Luffy didn't know what the others were worried about this was just fine. He could deal with that jerk in a heartbeat. As if he'd let him get away with shooting poor Shelly like that!
The weird part was that they were running through so many traps and his target seemed to know exactly how to avoid them. Luffy's instincts and reflexes let him avoid the worst of them, soon finding that he was being led to a ship…
Miguel reacted on reflex as he deflected an oncoming bullet with wind magic, bringing their attention to the large group of people which had to had to be Foxy's crew. The fact that some of them wore a jolly roger with a striking resemblance to the braggart only confirming it.
''…This was all a setup, huh?''
A particularly tall man gave an odd laugh, not realizing that wasn't actually a question ''That's right! And you, like so many others fell right into our trap!''
''Does it count if we saw this coming?''
That gave him pause, Sanji snorting ''He noticed you shitheads before and the ridiculous number of traps as well as your split head of a captain just screamed suspicious.''
''Split Head?'' Usopp snorted ''I gotta remember that!''
The crowd began protesting in defense of Foxy, demanding that Sanji take it back. The tall man shook himself ''Well, even if you did know, it doesn't matter! You're not getting away now. Just like the others, you'll face our challenge. We specialize in Davy Back fights, since our captains are busy, we'll just have to face you head on!''
''Yeah, that's right.''
''You tell 'em, Hamborg-san!''
''That windbag mentioned Davy Back fights…'' Miguel had barely paid Foxy's speech any mind but he'd heard about them in a few stories ''…like the challenges pirate crews used to do against each other way back when?''
Robin nodded ''It's an old tradition but I hear some crews still abide by it.''
''So, what's the deal?'' Zoro looked between the two.
''Captains gather and make an agreement to bet their crews depending on the results of the games.'' Chopper and Usopp gaped at Robin's summary ''It's come to be regarded with pride and those who withdraw are disgraced, considered to be honor-less cowards.''
''And they think we'll play those with them?! Fat chance!'' Nami put in at once.
Sanji certainly agreed but…''How is it even supposed to work when Luffy spooked their shithead captain into running with his tail between his legs?''
''I was wondering about that too…if they are so familiar with these games, maybe they found a few loopholes.'' Robin offered.
''All the more reason we're not doing this!'' Usopp insisted.
''You sure about that?'' One of the pirates sneered, his arm and blade pointed at the frozen Tonjit as his friend cornered Shelly. ''Because I think we have to insist.''
''No magic this time, kid, or I might just get trigger happy!'' The latter punctuated the statement by waving his gun.
''You cowards!'' Nami barked, the two sneering triumphantly.
Robin on the other hand, couldn't help noting how Miguel seemed to step back, carefully obstructing her from view.
Wait a second…
Understanding sank in when their gazes met, Robin making sure not to give the game away as she crossed her arms. Moments later, the pair were forcefully restrained by a number of arms, their hostages seizing the chance for freedom. Tonjit was quick to grab the gun as he retreated while Shelly kicked both pirates into unconsciousness.
Chopper grinned ''Nice one, Shelly!''
''That's a good girl!'' Tonjit patted her head fondly.
Sanji's attention was on another female ''Great job, Robin-chan!''
She just smiled ''Well, I had help. But now that their leverage is gone, I think this should be a done deal. We have no reason to humor them.''
Judging by their unnerved looks, the pirates were aware of this too. But then Porsche leaped in ''Aw, so you won't even humor us for just a little bit? Such a big, strong man and he doesn't want to have fun with poor little Porsche…''
The crew could already guess where this was going, Chopper and Usopp groaning at the sight of Sanji becoming putty in her hands.
''Come on, so you'd really just leave? I didn't think you were such cowards.''
That caught Zoro's attention ''What was that?''
The speaker winced but carried on ''Wouldn't you be up to a little challenge? Or don't you think your captain can handle ours? I guess both your bounties are just a big fluke…''
''…We're doing this, aren't we?'' Nami droned.
Miguel was similarly resigned to the inevitable ''It's either this or we let them run wild and risk what trouble they can stir unsupervised.''
As the logic was unchallengingly valid, she found only one appropriate response ''Okay, lesser evil it is!''
Just when things couldn't turn out anymore random, their first game of choice turned out to be…
''What's red light, green light?'' Chopper piped up.
Usopp did a double-take ''You don't know?''
''Is that bad?''
Nami began to explain, the reindeer's reaction summarizing their thoughts ''Why do they want to play that of all things?!''
''I know, I don't get it either…'' It was even stranger considering the situation.
The Foxy pirates led them to a path near a cliff, where a sign was planted at the opposite end and the one calling the shots waiting there. All they had to do was reach him to win.
Or at least that was how it seemed at first glance…
''Red light, green light, red light, green light…!''
This was coming on so fast that they were having trouble keeping up, not helped by their adversaries trying to distract them in a number of ways. Chopper was once again very thankful for his transformations, as he jumped over another attempt to trip him. His Guard Point deflected an attack coming his way, which was when he happened to notice the nonchalant announcer ''Hey! How is this okay?!''
''I have no idea what you're talking about.''
''You liar! You just keep looking away every time they mess with us! That guy almost mauled Usopp and you threaten him instead? That's totally biased!''
''I'm just calling it as I see it. And I didn't see anything.''
The reindeer growled, Zoro scowling ''Leave it, they're just going to keep doing what they want.''
This was soon proven true, their adversaries having no issues whatsoever with cheating. When the announcer started taking things very slow, his crew decided to tone it down a notch themselves. Nami only gave the pair who attempted to flirt with her a look of deep disgust and Robin didn't even bother with that much when they switched targets.
Naturally, Sanji was quick to leap in ''Yeah, that's right! As if those lovely ladies with waste even a moment with scum like you!''
The sight of a few female Foxy pirates taking up the tactic to unleash on Zoro and Miguel took the wind out of his sails. Sanji wasn't the least bit with Zoro's blunt dismissal. Of course, that brute wouldn't know how to treat a lady if his life depended on it!
He'd been building up for a lecture, his eyes automatically following the ladies as they shifted their attention to Miguel instead. Inwardly bemoaning why it couldn't have been him, the blond did note that Miguel had at least been nice about turning them down. At least someone did retain his manners, why couldn't that stupid Mosshead learn from him?
A sudden cry snapped him out of his thoughts, finding Porsche slumped near the water, a pained look in her gaze ''Oh, my poor ankle…what should I do?''
''Sanji-kun, wait!'' Nami palmed her face a moment later.
The cook's reaction was entirely predictable ''My lovely lady, how can this lowly gentleman help you?''
''Aw, how sweet!'' She pecked his cheek, hearts flashing in his eyes as a result before he charged ahead.
Usopp knew how Sanji could be about women but this was ridiculous ''What're you doing?!''
''Shut it! I will never abandon a lady in need!''
The fed-up sniper was about to retort, but the growing argument was put to a halt when Porsche was levitated out of his grasp and lowered safely to land before Sanji found himself out of the water too.
''There, no problem now, right?'' Miguel looked between the three.
''Red…hold up, where's the Pirate Hunter?''
That statement made everyone pause, realizing that Zoro was indeed nowhere to be found.
''When did he even…?'' Nami could've sworn he was just behind her.
Usopp looked around ''Whoa, he's…the heck?''
The reason for his bafflement became quite clear when they spotted the swordsman near the hill before this area.
''What?!''
''No matter how you slice it, there's having no sense of direction and then whatever that is…'' Miguel sighed, this was a new low even for Zoro.
''No kidding, what's with that guy?!'' One of the Foxy Pirates goggled.
''That idiot…'' Sanji groused.
Robin didn't miss the opportunity, the announcer only just beginning to continue the game. Soon, a hand was covering his mouth, allowing Usopp to distract him with two Tabasco Star. Before their opponents realized it, both he and Chopper had reached the goal.
''No!''
''Cheaters!''
With their hypocrisy clear as day, the cries went completely ignored. Their opinions didn't really matter anyway, the crew had long since agreed to just play along until they could find Luffy.
''Oh hey, Shelly, what're you doing?'' Nami wondered as the horse trotted up to them.
Chopper beamed at her response ''Aw, you're so nice! She wants to help us; she says she can even be an extra pair of eyes out when they try anything.''
''Ara, thank you.'' Robin petted her.
''Oh, she accidentally stopped two of them trying to sneak up on us but she had no idea what was going on with Zoro.''
''None of us do, that muscle head is a huge pain in the butt anyway. We can't always be cleaning up after him.'' Sanji waved dismissively.
''Sanji-kun? Put a sock in it.'' Nami ignored his stammering and apologies. Seriously, did he already forget that they were doing this because of the two of them? And don't even get her started on Luffy…
Sheesh, just what were they going to do with those three?
Luffy didn't know it was possible to be impressed and annoyed at the same time.
The source of his annoyance naturally being Foxy. While the big mouth certainly did like to gloat, the gun deck was something else and he knew Usopp would've liked it. To say nothing of the kitchen, it looked surprisingly fancy.
For a moment, he found himself wondering if they would get a big ship. But the thought was immediately accompanied by the idea of leaving Merry, their beloved ship who had come all this way.
Yet, it was just like the spirit herself said. She wanted them to do this because she cared so much. He couldn't disregard that. They hadn't completely given up on the idea of patching her up but like the others, he agreed that Merry's words were pretty damning.
Maybe he could see if Miguel figured out a way to keep her with them like he said he would?
The sound of hurried footsteps reminded him that he needed to focus ''Gum Gum no Whip!''
Foxy was so startled by the quick strike that he was sent into a wall, Luffy perking up ''How do you like-aw, jeez, not again!''
Yup, he had already run off.
Miguel wound up avoiding another game of theirs all together when he helped the crew bypass a cliff with gravity magic, only realizing something was up with their complaints. It turned out that they had stocked boats at the bottom and the idea was to use them to get to the other side in a race. It had been a stroke of luck but naturally none of the Foxy pirates were happy with the outcome.
Thankfully, Zoro and Sanji had been quick to silence most of the dissenters, leaving them groaning on the ground.
''Anyone else got a problem?!'' Zoro didn't receive a response ''Good, let's get this over with!''
Shelly followed the pair, not without stopping to kick one the dissenters. She'd rather it was Foxy but this was still good in her book.
Okay, Luffy liked his fights but this was getting old.
This guy had nothing but tricks, tricks and more tricks! It was like the entire ship was stacked with pranks. Heck, when he left the kitchen, he came across some sort of weird board that sent him flying to the ceiling where a number of knives awaited. Thankfully, he managed to deal with that easily, admittedly satisfied when he heard Foxy's yelp as he dodged the knives Luffy managed to pull and toss his way.
Did he mention the worst part? That annoying beam!
After an earlier close call, he found out what it did the hard way. Foxy had some devil fruit that let him slow anything down. It felt like wading through a swamp, being the main reason Foxy managed to get good hits in. It was hard to fight back when you could barely move any better than a snail.
Luffy dodged another pink beam, watching it impact a seagull in the sky. But then just when he thought he avoided the next one, it suddenly came right at him.
What the heck?
Reflexively holding his arms, Luffy could feel it taking effect again as Foxy laughed, coming at him…
After hearing more of the options, the Foxy pirates chose for their challenges, Zoro just had to say it ''Miguel, Robin, you know about this stuff. The actual tradition doesn't have anything like this, right?''
The negative replies were to be expected. It really made little sense; what kind of pirates played these games anyway? Just more proof those guys were chumps.
As if only to emphasize how much they had done this, they had even set up stalls and sold food, even playing games to boot. Something Tonjit was quite enjoying, to Usopp's annoyance ''Oi! They're enemies!''
''Ah…well…you see…'' He hemmed and hawed under Shelly's glare.
Chopper couldn't help but stare at the cotton candy stand with fascination. He'd loved the treat ever since his friends had introduced him to it before so a chance to get some was heartening. But then he reminded himself that Usopp was right, why should he let those guys take any of his money anyway? Besides, he wouldn't put it past them to mess with the food somehow.
Soon, it was time for the next challenge, thankfully the last since they could see a big ship up ahead. Nami gave Porsche a look ''Just so you know, the minute we get to see Luffy we're done with your dumb games.''
''Ah, excuses again? Maybe we should let you flee after all.''
''Projecting, are we? How many times did you beat us again?''
The navigator allowed herself a sense of triumph as the latter ground her teeth angrily, walking past her.
Their next choice turned out to be Hit and Dead Ball. Both teams stand on the field and throw the balls at each other, whoever got hit was out. Teams were divided into on and off court members, the latter group having the authority to throw the ball from anywhere on the condition that they don't enter the court.
''I'd like a look at the rules first.'' Robin informed the announcer, who handed her quite a thick book.
''What's the point if they're just going to keep cheating anyway?'' Zoro put in crossly.
''Well, if they have no problem finding loopholes, there's no reason we can't do the same.''
''Yeah, besides if we team up, they really won't stand a chance. So how about we come up with a plan?'' Miguel prompted.
''Music to my ears.'' Nami beamed, she knew she could rely on those two!
The observers looked on curiously as the Straw Hats aligned on the field. Oddly enough only Miguel, Robin and Chopper were in the off court.
Hamborg laughed ''You guys are so going to lose!''
''Really! Do you even understand the rules, you dopes?'' One of his teammates taunted.
''I wouldn't expect idiots to understand a little thing called strategy, now shut up and let's play!'' Sanji fired back.
And soon the two balls were fired, Usopp immediately ducked as the other team's ball came his way, Sanji leaping in to kick it towards Hamborg. Neither were surprised when he didn't even move, suspecting that he would just take it as being hit on the face meant the target was still in.
But…
A transformed Chopper leaped into the air, punching the ball higher before slamming it onto the top of the large man's head.
''Oh, wow…'' The announcer shook himself ''…uh, I mean…even with that display, the Straw Hats still fail to hit the mark because the top of the head is safe…''
''Actually, it isn't.'' Robin cut in ''Page 133, rule 134 states the exact opposite.''
He had to pause and check, honestly taken aback ''…o-oh, right…Hamborg's out!''
Clicking her tongue, Porsche raised her baton ''It's time for a little bewitchment…!''
Usopp didn't want to know what that meant. Sanji never even thought twice, swooning; she was winking at him. He knew she was! So cute…
His joy only rose as a few of the other girls began calling out to him, posing and smiling as they happily called out to him. Oh, this must be his lucky day...to be blessed by such beauty...
''Cyclone Tempo!''
The cook was suddenly sent up in the air, just in time to avoid the two balls that would've surely smashed his face otherwise.
Nami didn't even blink at the gazes coming her way as Sanji crashed down ''What? The rules say we can't directly influence the ball so what choice do I have. Also, and I can't stress this enough, if he wants to be a lech, he can pay the price!''
''Scary…'' Several of the Foxy pirates pitied the cook.
''…Even when she's harsh, Nami-san is so beautiful…''
…Or maybe they shouldn't.
Nami tossed a ball to Zoro, who immediately lobbed it with all his strength nailing 9 members right then and there.
Their adversaries were so stunned that they forgot about the other ball. Usopp smoothly giving it a gentle push towards the outer court, allowing Robin to grab it. She launched it with her arm, using her powers to launch it at a girl on the opposite team, who scrambled to dodge it. One of her team members leapt to catch it only to be caught off guard as gravity suddenly seemed to weaken, leaving her to float in mid-air.
Momentarily just as thrown, the announcer sprang into action ''Wait a minute…''
The words died in his throat as gravity returned to normal, the ball suddenly striking. Opening his mouth and shutting it, the announcer tried to argue with this result but Miguel was ready ''I haven't stepped a toe out of the court and we double checked the rules for magic but either this record isn't specific enough or they just count magic as outside influence. All I really did was change the gravity over there for a few seconds. And I'd like to remind you that official Davy Back fight or not, the referee can't be biased or they'll have to pay a price.''
His gulp was rather audible, even if this wasn't an official Davy Back fight, they had long established their rules. Either way, he wouldn't get off unscathed ''…Carry on.''
And so they did. It quickly became clear that the Straw Hats had decided to go all out, making sure to cover every angle they could. The sniper and navigator were clearly the weakest ones out of the group physically but they were also cunning and quick on their feet, easily helping their teammates with the balls. Zoro and Sanji's continuous rivalry left them thinking it was impossible for the two to actually work together but Miguel had somehow proved that wrong, the three proving to be the combination needed to end the game.
Finding the main ship turned out to be surprisingly easy. It was actually the grandiose galleon they'd seen earlier; the words Sexy Foxy were inscribed on the side.
''Wow…'' Sanji quirked a brow ''…you know, I was half-expecting the figurehead to be of Split Head himself.''
''Thanks for that lovely mental image.'' Usopp blinked as they heard a loud bang ''Looks like Luffy's been busy.''
''I'm more surprised he hasn't dealt with this idiot already.'' Nami admitted.
''Well, you saw the crew, all the tricks and stalling, not to mention that beam…'' Luffy was just so honest that he couldn't really handle tricksters well.
''By that logic, Long Nose-kun, wouldn't we be more like Captain-san?'' Robin put in.
''I hate to break it to you, but some of us are already there. Exhibit A.'' He gestured to Zoro.
''Ah, fair point.''
Chuckling, Miguel shook his head ''Come on, we really should check on him.''
Luffy entered what he guessed to be a workshop before he found a heavy-set man working at a table ''Hey, you see a guy with a weird nose and a stupid looking split head?''
Little did he realize that he was actually talking to the very person, Foxy's ego crumbling at the insults ''You…why are you so cruel…?''
''Cru-ah, it's you!'' The teen immediately hurried after him as he took off. ''Get back here!''
Luffy soon registered the sound of a door being shut, immediately following it to the source. Prying it open with a single punch, he realized that it must have been the infirmary.
Momentarily distracted, he couldn't help but take in all the gear in the corner ''Wow, doctors use all this stuff? I gotta ask Chopper…''
Even as he stood firmly with his back to the teen, Foxy had braced himself for a quick reveal. He was quite aware that this was one of his worst costumes but needs must.
Dammit, why'd he have to panic like that? If he could've followed his original plan-!
Well, whatever, he deviated from his plans before and things worked out. He just had to wear Straw Hat down enough while his crew stalled the rubber teen's and he'd win for sure!
''…hey, lady, did you see split head…?''
Momentarily distracted with the realization that his disguise did actually work, Foxy almost missed what was next.
''…He's kinda fat with really dumb looking hair…''
Luffy blinked as the 'lady' fell to her knees, the gears in his head turning. Foxy barely avoided the oncoming Gum Gum Pistol, only to be slammed by another one just a moment later. How was he so strong?!
Grunting, he pulled out a board of wood that had been damaged earlier and threw it at Luffy. The teen dodged it ''Hey, treat your ship better!''
Okay, Luffy was honest enough with himself to admit that he had been quite harsh on Merry because he didn't know his own strength. But now, faced with their beloved ship's predicament, seeing him continue being careless with his vessel just made him want to teach that jerk a lesson.
''What's it to you?! Besides, I got plenty of shipwrights to fix things!''
''That doesn't make it okay!''
''Ah, shut up! Noro Noro…''
Wary of being slowed down again, Luffy immediately jumped left, only to be forced to tank a kick coming instead. Foxy crowing ''You fell for it!''
They entered a hall, Foxy reaching the other end before the wall switched, revealing a myriad of arrows that flew at Luffy. But the teen was more than nimble enough to dodge that, following Foxy to the deck.
''Luffy!''
Blinking, he looked over ''Hey…!''
Chopper winced as a cannonball hit the teen, thinking that it would've been better if he had stayed silent. But thankfully, the captain was quick to shake it off, even grabbing the 3 consequent cannonballs and throwing them right back. While they may have missed the intended target, Luffy's bizarre luck was in play as they slammed something else. Something that had Foxy freaking out.
''Ah, no-no, what did you do-?!''
Following his line of sight, they found a large gorilla shaped robot on the other side of the deck. If Foxy's movement was anything to go by, it seemed he was planning for the cannonballs to be a distraction while he reached the robot. But the very projectiles had really dented its cockpit and leg. Foxy set it up so that he could lead Luffy here and jump into the robot at once but now he had no idea what to do with it.
''The Gorilla Puncher Nineteen is unusable, damn you, Straw Hat!''
''It's your fault, you started this whole thing. Besides, nobody said you had to fight me here!''
''…Luffy's using common sense effectively, now you know this guy's a lost cause.'' Usopp deadpanned.
Foxy fired more cannonballs, even ones that resembled him to an eerie degree. His crew cheered as they made impact, smoke covering the area.
But then they found out the hard way that Luffy had already leaped up high before as he hit Foxy with a Gum Gum Bell. Staggering, the other captain almost collapsed.
Several voices cried out in shock, calling out to Foxy in encouragement. Having already braced himself for an attack, Luffy hadn't really expected Foxy to be able to use another beam so he hadn't reacted in time.
''What the heck?''
Zoro listened to the smug Foxy pirates explain about their captain's ability ''What the hell kinda dumb ability is that?''
Nami was rather inclined to agree but then she noticed a problem ''Hey, he's gone!''
Luffy was clearly still struggling to move, knowing he'd have to wait a short while for the beam to wear off. The second it did, he was off, the crew hastening after him.
Only one room was lit at this point, bringing their attention to the ugly figure prancing about with an obviously fake voice. Sanji growled, disgusted that Foxy would even pretend to be a woman too ''You little-! I hate this kind of thing the most…''
But then Luffy's words threw them for a loop ''Hey, you know where Split Head is?''
Nami, Zoro and Usopp were gawking as Sanji palmed his face, Robin was simply amused-especially since Luffy had unknowingly used Sanji's insult. Miguel held back a sigh, not even the least bit surprised. Luffy was just too honest and straightforward. But on that note…
''…Chopper, shouldn't the scent give it away?''
''Eh?'' Initially just as confused as their captain, the little reindeer realized he had a point ''Oh! Yeah-whoa, Luffy…!''
Turning just as Foxy turned swung his sword down, the blade was then sent flying thanks to the Ark Shield flashing into existence then.
''Hey, what…? Are you Split Head's sister or something?''
Even Foxy hadn't expected things to work out like that, as evidenced by his fall out of sheer disbelief. Chopper jumped up and down in annoyance ''Luffy, it's that jerk! It's only been you guys on the ship the whole time!''
''What?!'' The rubber teen assumed his fighting stance ''I got fooled again!''
''…why am I not surprised?'' Usopp hung his head.
''I don't even feel like commenting.'' Sanji sighed.
''Same, it's just not worth it.'' Nami added.
''Fine!'' Foxy's attempt to look tough was quite marred by his bruised and swelled face ''Since you're all here, let's have a Davy Back fight!''
''No way!'' Several voices barked at once, most notably Zoro and Sanji.
Luffy's immediate impression was that they were overreacting. What was so bad about a fight? ''What happened?''
''I'm afraid his crew used that same excuse to keep us busy. That's why it took us this long to find you. It seems they thought we'd have to join them if you lost to ah-split head.'' Robin amended.
''Why would I work under you? Idiot!'' Luffy pulled his tongue, grinning at the growling Foxy.
''Oh-also…''
Foxy stomped a foot ''There's a limit to how cheeky you can be! Don't think I'll give up-!''
''Don't interrupt a lady, asshat!'' Sanji called.
Luffy ran over Robin's words mentally ''So you guys played games? Were they fun?''
''What do you think?!'' Nami was of the firm opinion that Zoro and Sanji agreeing should speak volumes.
''Let's just put it this way, I think we all agree that it's best if someone punches his lights out so we're done with this.'' Miguel offered, Shelly nodding emphatically along.
''You're no fun sometimes.'' Luffy pouted.
''Are you really telling me you'd risk having someone like that onboard just for a few games?''
And once again, Miguel's well-placed use of logic won.
''Nope, never.''
The crew laughed as Foxy slumped at yet another blow to his fragile ego. ''How cruel…''
Luffy ended his complaints with a single punch ''Hey, yeah-Robin, you were saying?''
''I was just going to remind you that we could've had Quartermaster-san handle the matter that much sooner but you went off before we could even say a word.''
Come to think of it…
''Oh…oops.''
Nami and Usopp shared a glance before moving in a remarkable display of teamwork, Luffy left in a crumbling heap with their strikes.
Zoro nodded sagely ''Karma, you gotta love it.''
Nami slapped the back of his head. As if he was one to talk ''And it's come calling for you too!''
Shelly neighed at Chopper, clearly confused. The reindeer shook his head ''That's nothing. He'll be back on his feet in a minute.''
''You're that fed up too, huh?'' Miguel put in.
''Can you blame me?!''
Sanji's lips quirked as Miguel patted the grumbling reindeer's head ''Eh, he has it coming either way…''
The words died in his throat at Miguel's long look. They had yet to push the quartermaster to the limits of his patience but Sanji felt they might have come close today. And he didn't want to find out what happened when they did. Because when he looked back, he could admit that the three of them might have taken things too far. Add that to Foxy and his crew and it was easy to see why this would wear on anyone's patience.
Time for a hasty retreat!
''…I'll just go ahead and get started on lunch then.''
He did not flee from there, no sir.
…Ah, he wasn't fooling anyone, was he?
Miguel tilted his head. Had he done something? He just hadn't been impressed with Sanji completely ignoring his own culpability in this mess…
Noticing the amused Robin nearby, he decided to check ''What exactly am I missing here?''
She laughed a bit ''Nothing important, I think Cook-san simply misunderstood the situation.'' She could almost see the question mark floating above his head ''He'll calm down soon. Besides, I think we all agree that some food would be very much welcome.''
''Oh…well, no arguing there…''
''Sanji's going to make something great again, you guys should come too!'' Chopper chirped, their new companions smiling.
''Why, thank you kindly.'' Tonjit paused ''Come to think of it, I did have that cheese I was ageing before everything went down. It could be good now.''
''No way!'' The doctor barked ''It'll just be a bit of hard, rotten milk. Cheese isn't just aged by leaving it out for so long. That's a recipe for food poisoning! If there's any food in your home, you get rid of it.''
''Ehh? But…''
Chopper's glare silenced him ''Shelly, you make sure he does.''
The horse gave him a salute of acknowledgement with her hoof.
''So, what're you going to do now?'' Miguel wondered.
''Well, actually, I was thinking…'' Tonjit began.
Well, let's stop here.
For a while I was sure I'd just skip this part and go to the encounter with Aokiji. The arc was funny and all but it would've been boring to copy paste it. Besides, I wanted to try a new angle. I figured some funny stuff would be good after the recent chapters and especially with what's coming.
Foxy's crew was mostly stalling in the hopes of him beating Luffy and forcing the straw hats to join, since they've done it in the past. Considering the size of his crew; it feels like the chance that he's gotten them all the exact same way is pretty low. I admit, some of the plot got away from me and I didn't expect I'd take things this far but Foxy was pretty easy to mock. Also, I can totally picture the monster trio being baited into the games, for their pride alone if nothing else. Leaving Zoro and Sanji to their own devices in such a situation can only be asking for trouble, so yeah playing along really was the lesser evil. Between the monster trio, Foxy and his crew, I think anyone could easily get at least a little fed up. So yeah, while they haven't managed to tick Miguel off yet, they were pushing their luck.
Oh, just laying it out there but I drew a picture of Miguel and made it the cover. I kept meaning to do this before it slipped my mind…
Well, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. Till next time and happy new year!