AN: The Cynthia mentioned in the last chapter is an OC, not the canon Pokémon character. As for this chapter, in my head canon, Ridley has a Cockney accent when he speaks English.

Our Universe, Milky Way Galaxy, Planet Zebes, 20X5 C.C., Weeks before Metroid: Zero Mission

K. Rool and Ganondorf had spent hours wandering through the labyrinthine caves beneath the surface of planet Zebes. They must have passed that one particular v-shaped rock at least ten times. Oh,well…it gave K. Rool time to think…to think about what he'd prevented and what the cost was. He had successfully given Giovanni the idea that handing Mewtwo over to Ganon was a bad idea—but this would probably make Giovanni resist giving Mewtwo to Andross. Of course Andross would then just take Mewtwo and mold him himself. The clone could still end up becoming K. Rool's most dangerous rival—if Ganon didn't beat him to it.

K. Rool looked at Ganondorf. Here was the paradox: K. Rool need Ganondorf to embrace his inner pig-demon so K. Rool could use that strength in his own plans…but he couldn't let Ganon get too powerful and risk himself becoming a minion for the latter. In either event, he was going to have to face either Mewtwo or Ganon and win for his own plan to become the most powerful being in the multiverse to work. He was angry with the way the Team Rocket meeting went and he blamed Ganondorf for that failure.

"Why can't you just find a balance between your Gerudo self and your pig self!?" K. Rool demanded loudly. The echo down here seemed endless.

Ganondorf formed a ball of dark energy in his hand, ready to throw it at K. Rool. "Maybe if some genius Kremling King had never told me that my beast form was the reincarnation of Demise I could fully embrace it, but you are too worried about protecting your own scales and extending your own influence to notice!" His own voice was no less resonating.

"I thought I was motivating you! You have the potential to be the most evil being in the multiverse and bend Demise to your own will! Why wouldn't you want that?!"

"Because I don't commit evil acts for their own sakes but to achieve my objectives! I want my people to rule Hyrule, but how can they do that if I'm a demon king's puppet?"

K. Rool through his hands up in defeat.

"I give up. You are just too much like Bowser. I don't know why I thought you'd be a good ally," K. Rool paused, realizing he could turn this complaint into a witty retort, "I must have been thinking of Demise! He could destroy Hyrule while I planned to steal his energy to rule the multiverse! But Demise and Mewtwo combined…I can't beat that!"

"No, you can't!" Ganondorf shouted in triumph "But I can beat Andross...with help."

"What?" K. Rool asked in confusion.

"You know Andross's weaknesses, his way of thinking, where to hurt him. It is not your destiny to be the Big Bad of the Multiverse, K. Rool. That's mine. But you can be the guy in the shadows with plans layered upon plans that the heroes never notice because the Big Bad has their attention. You are the Bigger Bad."

"Really?" K. Rool asked with newfound hope.

"Sure," Ganondorf said. Feed his ego and you can use him, the Gerudo King thought.

"Would whoever it is out there shut up!" A mysterious gravely voice demanded. "I'm the Big Bad!"

Whoever this was must be the "Ridley" that Andross had sent them to find.

"Are you Ridley?" Ganondorf asked.

"Listen, you are on the other side of a rock wall. Continue down the tunnel, two rights, a left, and you'll see a metallic door. Go in."

After fifteen minutes of walking, K. Rool and Ganondorf passed through metallic hallways and into a room filled with computers, reptilians, insectoids, and a giant…was that a dragon or a pterosaur?

"Yeah, this is part of our Zebes base. We're Space Pirates. I'm the leader here. Call me Scott, Ridley J. Most species lack the vocal structure to say my Space Dragon name. Got a good thing going on here right now, so explain how you two aren't going to ruin it."

Most of Ridley's tone, including the threat, seemed relaxed.

K. Rool was glad to see another saurian in such a position of command. Bowser didn't count. While his inner-fanboy was struggling to find words, Ganondorf took the iniative.

"O, Great Ridley, we are emissaries from Andross, Emperor of Venom, Conqueror of all Universes—"

Ridley held up a claw. "I'm not gonna do so good with a conqueror of all universes. I'm a pirate. I kinda thrive on disorder and chaos. I only take orders from High Command and our AI Mother Brain—when what she says is actually relevant. I mean she betrayed her Chozo makers and turned on them, so I keep an eye on her."

K. Rool stepped in to bring his new idol into the fold.

"We have our own plans to deal with Andross in the end but think about the possibility. You could be the Emperor of all universes."

"Assuming I can get rid of you guys. You'll want to rule through me. I know how this works. Honestly, guys, I'm not that interested in politics. Chaos, destruction, getting even with the Fed, that's my thing."

"The Fed?" Ganondorf asked.

"The Federation, a vile government controlled mostly by the humans and some sell-outs. The humans make up almost all their military and consider themselves the pinnacle of evolution. They've nearly hunted my species to extinction and oppressed the homeworlds of some of my underlings here. So, I'm very much against law and order."

"But you'd be the one making the law and order," K. Rool said.

"I'm just not a builder," Ridley said, "more the opposite. I felt happiest when I was attacking the human colony K-2L, slaughtering a hole community. There was this cute little girl and I thought for a second, 'Is killing a three-year just a little too far, even for me?" But then I thought, 'Never know unless you try!' Stupid girl's mom got in the way, but for the most part the humans couldn't save themselves. To stop me they had to blow their own colony up. I was hurt pretty bad, but I got through it. The human flesh helped me regenerate my cells, and I'm thankful for the Space Pirate's experiments on me that made it possible."

"They gave you the ability to convert foreign cells into your own tissues?" K. Rool asked, intrigued.

"No, my kind could always do that. The Space Pirates just enabled me to do that with humans without the side effects," Ridley clarified.

"Side-effects?"

"My kind knows that from our early contact that humans are not good meals because they cause extreme nausea, diarrhea, and upset stomachs. They also just don't taste good. Their cartilage is just too gristly. Thanks to my modification I got through without puking my guts out, but the taste was still horrible."

"Why?" Ganondorf asked.

"Why what?"

"Why would they give you special resistance to humans?"

"Oh, they didn't do that. They just enhanced my stomach. You never know when you could get stranded on a strange world and need a questionable food source."

"Ah." Ganondorf had to admit Ridley had a good point.

"The Space Pirate species is all about genetic enhancements. They have the humility to know that they aren't the pinnacle of evolution."

"Space Pirate species?" K. Rool asked. "You just said that you're some kind of endangered dragon-pterodactyl thing and your minions are from planets the Federation overran—"

"Some of my minions, mate. Most are genuine article Space Pirates, just tweaked for this planet. They really are a tolerant group. I'm not one and I'm their most feared commander. They do want to tear down the Federation, but they don't think that they are naturally better than anyone else. And there not stingy about handing out enhancements."

"But Andross is exactly the same way!" Ganondorf insisted.

K. Rool knew that that notion would be dispelled on Ridley's first meeting with the Emperor. He might not have thought snow monkeys were superior to any other species in the Lylat System but he was a cultural snob who thought the Cornerian culture that produced him was superior to any other, known or unknown. Everyone else needed to be "civilized."

"Do the Space Pirates make you adopt their culture?" K. Rool asked.

Ridley scoffed. "Other than the need to disrupt the central government, they are always changing. I have personally defined their entire concept of 'cool.' Techo-music, sassy disreprect to people who out rank you—and getting away with it if your results back it up. 'Cool' was unknown by the Space Pirates until I came along. I'm not just their deadliest warrior, I'm their greatest celebrity."

"I'm the actual head of my government and starred in several Kremling movies," K. Rool said, his ego bruised.

"What's a movie?" Ganondorf asked.

"What planet is he from?" Ridley asked K. Rool.

"I actually don't know the planet's name...just a country there…Hyrule…"

"I AM A GERUDO!" Ganondorf blazed with fury, turning into Ganon—not Demise—but Ganon. Their world had no name, so it all was named for the Hylians. His Gerudo pride was injured. He didn't want to destroy everything; he wanted to rule. He'd found the balance between Demise and Ganondorf—he had become Ganon.

The pig monster stood hulking, ready to tackle the space dragon…only to be stunned by painful fiery breath and thrown across the room when a spiked tail swept into him.

"Ow…" Ganon muttered pathetically as his body changed back into Gerudo form.

What K. Rool saw was nothing less than a paradigm shift. Andross was sure that Ganon was the most powerful villain, but Ridley had just crushed him. And Ridley wasn't even interested in an alliance! To top it all off, Ridley was a much cooler evil reptile than K. Rool.

"I can't believe the stupidity of it all!" K. Rool screamed. He pointed to Ridley, "You are the coolest evil reptile I have ever met, and I can never compete with you, and you," he pointed to Ganondorf, "You aren't the king of evil, just another pathetic looser." Ganondorf groaned incoherently in response.

K. Rool started to cry and removed his crown. He held it in his hands.

"I just can't win. Not against you," he said to Ridley. "I'm an overweight buffoonish crocodile, you are the sleek bringer of death."

"Mate, go on a diet," Ridley said.

"I'm already on diet, you idiot!" K. Rool shot back, "And a strict exercise regimen! I can't help it that I have a spinal condition!"

"Sorry, just assumed..." Ridley began.

"Everyone assumes," K. Rool whined, "But to harm a child personally…that's a level of evil…"

Suddenly an idea came to K. Rool...

"If I found a Kong toddler, I'll try to electrocute it."

"Good on ya, mate!"

"I just want to be the most evil! Isn't that why we're all in this business?"

"I'm here for money and revenge," Ridley said.

"Country…" Ganondorf seemed to mumble.

"And Bowser is for family, Giovanni for his mommy issues, Andross because he thinks he's good, Dedede because he might actually be good…I am the only one of us who wants to be evil just for the sake of being evil!" K. Rool said in triumph. Had he really been jealous of Ridley?

Suddenly there was a beeping noise.

"That's my wristband," K. Rool said. "Excuse me."

"Sure," Ridley replied.

K. Rool opened a panel on the wristband, pushed a button, and a hologram of a canine with sunglasses appeared.

"Is this King K. Rool?"

"Speaking."

"Emperor Andross has just been killed by Star Fox. Your services are no longer required."

The call ended as abruptly as it began.

"Glad I said 'no,'" Ridley said.

"Save it," K. Rool snapped. It had all been for nothing! Nothing! There was no space empire to command. Andross was supposed to conquer everything first, then Ganon would kill him, then K. Rool would kill the weakened Ganon. That was just not going to happen now. It had all been for nothing. Or had it…K. Rool now had a very simple goal…become more evil than Ridley…and idea of how to do it thanks to Dedede's food stealing scheme…starve DK Island.

Ganondorf muttered.

If K. Rool kept manipulating him, he still had an answer to Giovanni's Mewtwo. And when had had all the Gerudo and Team Rocket's resources, as well as his own reputation as the destroyer of the DK Isles, he'd unleash havoc upon Bowser. It hadn't been a waste of time after all...

"C'mon, Ganondorf, we've still got a few stops to make!"

"Yeah, don't let the door hit you on the way out," Ridley said, while thinking What a couple of wierdos...

Suddenly a new idea struck him

If they can travel to other universes...that means the Space Pirates have limitless options to spread mayhem...

"Wait, guys! I'm commin' with you!"