14
Jack discovered Ianto out in the shed. It was a surprise as he hadn't even noticed him missing from all the noise and bluster as the kids raced around high on sugar and Christmas cheer. But here he was, sitting on a drum with his face in his hands, a rare moment when Jack had actually managed to sneak up on him, even without meaning to.
Should he back out and make out he hadn't noticed or… "Ianto?"
Ianto turned and the tears on his face were too raw, Jack was forced to stride over and engulf him in his arms, crooning softly as he let Ianto cry softy against his chest. Finally… at long last… Ianto was falling apart. And Jack was so damned relieved to be there to hold him together, the horror of potentially missing the moment and Ianto losing a part of him so raw.
After a while the shaking stopped and Ianto was taking deep even breaths, his arms around Jack's waist as he clung to him like he was afraid he would fall. Jack continued to hold him tightly against him, now rubbing his back gently.
Finally, Ianto pulled back to look at him, his eyes puffy and swollen as he blinked and Jack felt a surge of affection, leaning in to kiss him deeply, then drop to his knees so they were face to face as Ianto sat on a bale of hay and it was better for mouth to mouth.
Then another tight hard hug, one that could fix a bad back kinda crunch.
Then Ianto released him and Jack took the cue, rising to let a hand rest on Ianto's shoulder as Ianto scrubbed at his face and cleared his throat a few times, then rose and shot his cuffs.
"Jack… thanks."
"Anytime Ianto, I mean it. Don't ever feel like you need to hide this, pain is something better shared and dissipated with acceptance. OK? You are not weak; you were her brother and now you have two little ones who need you. I am amazed you held it all together this long." Jack assured him.
"I lost everything and… not. I mean… Gremlin, drop that!"
Jack turned to find the cat in the doorway with a baby duckling in her mouth and she obediently dropped it, the duck coming to life and racing into the barn making a loud quaking.
"Well… shit" Ianto said as he scrubbed at his face "Do we go after it?"
Jack started to laugh as he pulled Ianto close again "Go on Gremlin, go get it."
The cat took off and faint quaking was heard as the duck found itself running, then the sound of wings flapping as the mama duck must have discovered when her duckling had disappeared to and Gremlin had no hope of getting it again.
"Maybe we should have given it to the kids" Jack said as he hugged Ianto to him, enjoying the fact he didn't pull away.
"Oh god… stop it. Well, at least I can count on her to lighten the mood I suppose" Ianto sighed as he scrubbed at his face. "Could you imagine the duck shit everywhere?"
Jack laughed as Ianto screwed his face up and showed his backbone was still there. Still had that damaged heart beating and still had the strength to do what needed to be done.
Jack would make sure of that.