Chapter 15
Francesco opens his eyes, but instead of seeing darkness, he saw a bright light. He stood up and looked around him. There were clouds everywhere and he was standing on a golden road. He walked down the road and saw a pair of golden gates. There was a figure standing next to the gates with a book. "Hiya! Welcome to Heaven! Can I get your name please?"
"My name is Francesco Smith." "Alright! Let me see here. Here we go, and..." The heavenly figure's eyes widened and he says: "Oh my goodness!" "What? What's the problem?" says Francesco. "Well, imagine that all the good things and bad things you've done in life, were weighed out on a scale. Most of the time, it ends up on one side or the other. But it's very rare to see it end up being 50/50."
"Ok? And exactly does that mean?" "It means that in order to properly decide whether you can enter Heaven or not, the head seraphim would need to judge you in person. I'll call her right now." The figure summons a telephone and goes to call for help. But a voice then says: "That won't be necessary Saint Peter, we can take it from here."
A bunch of exorcists flew over the gates and landed next to Saint Peter. "Exorcists!" says Francesco. "Wait, how do you know about the exorcists?" says Saint Peter. One of the angels takes off it's mask and says: "Because this specific human, died whilst he was in Hell." Francesco instantly recognises the angel and says: "Lute."
"You sacrificed yourself to save a demon. What an absolutely stupid way to die," says Lute. "What makes you think you have the right to say that?" says Francesco. "Because, I was sent here to judge you. To decide if you should be allowed into Heaven, after everything you've done." "Well, luckily enough for you, I don't want to go to Heaven."
Saint Peter and the exorcists gasped, he then says: "So, you actually want to go back to Hell?" "Yes, I do." "And why would you want to do that?" says Lute. "Because when I was living on Earth, I felt like I was living with a cult than a family. But when I moved to Hell, I made a lot of friends, I fell in love and we basically became a family. Also, after I learned all about Extermination Day and you lot coming down just to kill demons, I knew that Heaven was pretty much bullshit."
"Well then, if that's what you want, then you will be sent back to Hell. I hope your trip here was worth it." A red circle appeared where Francesco was standing. He then smiles and says: "Thank you Lute. Also, one last thing." "And what's that?" says Lute. "If I see you again, I will take a spear and shove it up your ass! So if you know what's good for you lot, then I suggest you all leave Hell alone."
Suddenly, Francesco and the red circle disappeared. "Wow, I did not expect that this is how my morning would start," says Saint Peter. One of the exorcists taps Lute on the shoulder and says: "Is he going to be a problem to us boss?" "Of course not. Francesco is completely normal. He wouldn't last a minute against us," says Lute.
Meanwhile, everyone was struggling to deal with the fact that Francesco had died in front of them. Loona and Octavia were struggling the most. Lucifer then sighs and puts his hat back on. He then flies up to the other sins and says: "Look, I know that sometimes I make decisions that you don't like, but if you had seen the things I saw when Francesco first came to Hell, then you would agree that he deserved to live here; with the ones he cared about so much. For fuck's sake, he just sacrificed himself to save the one that he loved so much! Doesn't that mean anything to you lot?"
"He does make a good point. No human would give up his life to save one of ours, unless he really did mean to," says Beelzebub. "You're only saying that because your "boyfriend" is standing right next to you!" says Mammon. "No, you twat! She's saying that because it's true! This mortal really did care about the safety of our world. He even stood up to us, just to tell us that we were wrong," says Asmodeus.
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but Lucifer is right. We all fell for Andrealphus and Stella's tricks. And if it wasn't for this human, then the truth would have remained buried," says Satan. Blitzo looked down at Francesco's body, then he says: "Wait, what's going on here?" His eyes widened as he saw his blood was going back into his body; the gun shot wound healed afterwards.
Suddenly, a green fire covered Francesco's body. "What the fuck is going on?!" "Is this normal?!" says Moxxie. "No! I've never seen this happen before!" says Stolas. Everyone was staring at the fire. When it died out, Francesco's body had changed. He was now the green parrot demon he saw in his dreams. He then opened his eyes and shot up from the floor.
"What happened? Where am I? Am I still in Hell?" Francesco slowly stood up and looked at his hands. "Oh, so now I know what the other me mentioned about us becoming one. Well, at least I still look good." "Fran?" He turns around and sees everyone staring at him. "Loona? Via? Guys? It's me. I'm back." Everyone bursts into tears, they then ran over and they all hugged each other.
"You would not believe how much we missed you!" says Blitzo. "Don't do that ever again!" says Moxxie. "You really are special!" says Stolas. "You got really lucky!" says Loona. "I love you so much Fran!" says Octavia. "I love you too! In fact, I love all of you!" says Francesco. Vortex and Beelzebub walks up to them. "Are we still cool?" says Vortex.
He then holds out a fist, Francesco does the same and they fist bumped each other. "Of course we are Tex." Beelzebub holds out her top right arm and says: "It's nice to meet you. You can call me Bee if you'd like." Francesco shakes her hand and says: "Well then, it's nice to meet you Bee." "Francesco?" says Satan. He then walks up to the other sins and says: "Yes?"
"After your unfortunate demise, we all had things to say to each other and in the end, we have decided to thank you for preventing another unwanted marriage. Also, sorry for doubting you." "Thanks for saying that, but I don't think I'm the one you should be apologising to," says Francesco. "Who else are we meant to say sorry to?" says Mammon.
Francesco pointed at his friends and says: "How about them?" "Are you fucking serious?!" "Silence Mammon! This was bound to happen eventually. Very well then." He then stands next to Vortex and Beelzebub. Blitzo, Moxxie and Loona walked up to the sins, Satan then says: "The Immediate Murder Professionals, we apologise for accusing you of stealing the Goetia Grimoire and the attempted assassinations of Stolas Goetia."
"Thanks a bunch!" says Blitzo. The three of them then walked over to Francesco. Octavia stepped forward next, Satan then says: "Octavia Goetia, we apologise for the actions of your mother and uncle, this arranged wedding and for thinking that your boyfriend is a spy. So because of that, you will be allowed to marry whoever you want."
"Thank you so much," says Octavia. She walked over to Francesco and they hugged each other. Stolas nervously steps forward, Satan then says: "And finally, Stolas Goetia. We did not expect to see you again so soon. Unfortunately for you, the crimes you committed can not go unpunished. However, we've decided to shorten your sentence; due to a certain someone that organised the trial. So, instead of waiting one hundred years, you will now only wait fifty years."
"Thank you, I guess?" says Stolas. He walked over to Octavia and they hugged each other. "If that is all, then I guess that the wedding is cancelled," says Satan. "Wait a minute! What about the cake? Do you know how long it took for the servants to make it? If there's no wedding, does that mean that we have to throw it away?" says Mammon.
"Well, unless someone has a better idea, I suppose we might do just that." "Why are fussing about a cake? I could just make you one myself," says Beelzebub. "Because a wedding cake is supposed to be eaten during a wedding! It would make no sense that you eat it during a random day of year! Actually, here's an idea. Why don't you marry that mutt of yours, so that way we can eat cake!"
Beelzebub flies up to Mammon and says: "Fine, I will!" She then flies back down and Vortex says: "Wait a minute, Bee? Are you being serious right now?" She uses her top arms to grab his arms and says: "Listen, I know that sometimes we don't see eye to eye, and I know that you might think that I don't love you anymore, but I do. I want to make this official, so that way there's no more confusion when we're together. I'll happily say no if you don't want this though, so you don't have to worry. But right now, what I want to know is, will you marry me?"
A lot of thoughts were circling around Vortex's mind. He didn't know what to do, eventually he says: "Ok. Yes I will." Beelzebub squealed like a little girl before hugging him. "Is this actually happening?" says Mammon. "You're goddamn right it is," says Asmodeus. After a few minutes, the demonic priest stood inbetween Beelzebub and Vortex.
"Do you, Vortex, take Queen Beelzebub of the Gluttony ring, to be your lawfully wedded wife?" "I do." "And do you, Queen Beelzebub, take Vortex to be your lawfully wedded husband?" "I do." After placing a ring on Vortex's finger, he says: "Wait, which hand do I put this on?" Beelzebub holds out her top left arm and says: "I think it's this one?"
After they both have rings on their fingers, the demonic priest says: "By the power of the Seven Deadly Sins vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. And not only that, but also King and Queen of the Gluttony ring. You may now kiss the bride." Beelzebub and Vortex smiles before kissing each other.
Everyone in the church clapped, Loona then says: "He must feel so lucky right now. I wish I had someone like him." Francesco places a hand on her shoulder and says: "Don't worry Loona. One day you'll find someone. You just need to keep on looking." Loona smiles before saying: "Yeah, you're right. You're always right."
A few hours later, in the Gluttony ring, there was a massive party happening in Beelzebub's palace. Everyone was eating food, drinking drinks and playing games. "I have to say, I think I like the new look," says Millie. "Thank you. How are you feeling, by the way?" says Francesco. "Still pregnant, but I feel fine thanks. Although, I was really upset when...you know what happened."
"You know you don't have to talk about it like that. I'm perfectly fine with other people talking about my death." Moxxie walked up to them whilst carrying some drinks. "Well I think that the way your instincts were focused on saving Octavia was awesome. The way you didn't hesitate to jump in front of her was badass," says Moxxie.
Moxxie gives Millie a non alcoholic drink, Francesco then says: "Yeah, I guess I'm something of a badass myself. Oh speaking of which, I should go find Octavia and see how she's doing." "Alright then, go have fun," says Millie. Francesco walks away, Moxxie then says: "Do you think he'd be a good assassin?" "Fuck yeah, he would."
Francesco walks around the party and sees Blitzo and Stolas talking to a jester imp with white face paint on. "Oh hey! Francesco, I would like you to meet a good friend of mine. Fizzarolli, this was the guy we were telling you about," says Blitzo. "Ah yes, this was the human that was on TV. Nice to meet you," says Fizzaroli.
They both shook hands and Francesco says: "How do you and Blitz know each other, if you don't mind me asking?" "Not at all. Well, we've known each since we were kids. In fact, we used to work together at a circus." "A circus?" "Yes, we did. And as a matter of fact, that was how me and Stolas met each other," says Blitzo.
"Wow, really?" Stolas nods and says: "My father told a butler to take me to a show when it was my birthday. It was actually after I found out that I was engaged to Stella and he had him pay his father to let him spend a day with me." "Ok, good to know. Have any of you seen Octavia anywhere?" says Francesco. "Yeah, I think I saw her go outside with Loona," says Blitzo.
"Great, I'm going to see how they're doing. It was nice to meet you Fizzarolli. Right now, I'll just get out of your hair." "No problem Francesco. I hope you and Octavia have a good life together," says Fizzarolli. Francesco nods before walking away. He then sees the door that leads outside, but then he hears a voice saying: "Hey Francesco! Over here!"
He looks over to the side and sees Beelzebub and Vortex waving at him. She was wearing a rainbow wedding dress and he was wearing a fancy suit. He walks over to them and says: "You called?" "Fuck yeah we did. We just wanted to see how our VIP is doing," says Beelzebub. "I'm the VIP?" "Of course you are. If you hadn't have interrupted Octavia's wedding, then we wouldn't have gotten married," says Vortex.
"Well, I'm really happy for you two. But I'm just wondering, how did you two get together?" says Francesco. Beelzebub and Vortex chuckled, then she says: "It's a funny story actually. You see, there was this one time when I invited Verosika Mayday to one of my parties. Whilst I was checking on my other party guests, she accidentally spilled some drinks on me and the floor. I knew that it was an accident, but she got on her knees and begged for my forgiveness. Afterwards, Vortex insisted on cleaning up the floor. When he was done, we started talking to each other. And when we found out that we had a lot of things in common, we started dating each other."
"That was one of the best parties I ever went to as well," says Vortex. "Wow, nice story. I just have a quick question for you Tex. How do you feel now that you're a king of a ring of Hell?" Vortex thought to himself for a second, then he says: "I think it feels weird? I used to be a regular hellhound, now I'm demon royalty. Honesty, I don't know how I feel."
Beelzebub places one of her hands on his shoulder and says "Hey, you're going to be great. Trust me, I know it's a lot to take in." Vortex smiles and says: "Yeah, I think I can do this." "That's the spirit Tex. Listen, I'm just going outside to find my girlfriend, ok?" says Francesco. "Well you should be quick about it. The fireworks are going to be starting soon," says Beelzebub.
Francesco walks away and goes outside the palace. He then spots Octavia talking to Loona and says: "Hey girls. Is everything ok?" "Don't worry, everything's ok Fran. Actually, I think I'll go back to the party now. I'll leave you two lovebirds to talk alone. Get it?" says Loona. The three of them laughs before she walks back into the palace.
Octavia looks a bit sad, Francesco then says: "Via? Is something wrong?" "This morning felt like an absolute train wreck for me. I nearly died to your brother again, I almost got married to him, I found out that my mother and uncle hired an assassin to kill my dad, the three of them died and then I couldn't do anything but watch as you died in my arms! My life is a fucking disaster!"
She then bursts into tears and hugs him. "I thought I lost you forever! I thought I would never see or hear you again! I don't know what to do anymore! Where am I supposed to live, now that Stella and Andrealphus are dead?! My father is still not allowed to move back into the palace! What do I even do?!" Francesco felt a tear come out of his eye, he then slowly hugged her back.
"Maybe I can convince Stolas to let you live at the Hazbin Hotel with me? It would be a start at least." "Yeah, but what about our relationship? I didn't realise that my mother was abusing him so much that he resorted to take Happy Pills just so he could hang out with me. I felt so awful when I confronted him about it. And it was on fucking Sinsmas! I can't believe I didn't listen to him on that day."
"Via, I know that he still might be in love with Blitz, but I know for a fact that for the past eighteen years he's never stopped loving you. He will always love you, don't forget that ok?" Octavia wipes some tears away and says: "You're right. Everything that happened was my mother and uncle's fault, and I'm actually glad that they're dead."
"That's the spirit. Hang on, have we ever danced before?" "We've danced to some songs before." "No, I mean like ballroom dancing." "Oh, no we haven't." Francesco holds out an arm and says: "Well then, may I have this dance?" Octavia chuckles before saying: "You're so cheesy sometimes. Ok, let's dance." She grabs his hand and they start to dance around in circles.
Blitzo walked outside to have a smoke, then he saw them dancing and says: "Hey guys! Come and have a look at this!" Moxxie, Millie, Loona, Stolas, Fizzarolli, Beelzebub and Vortex walked outside to see the couple dancing. After a minute of dancing, Francesco and Octavia ended it with a kiss. "Is that how it's done?" says Francesco. "Absolutely."
Suddenly, everyone was clapping and cheering for them. "Seriously?! How long were you standing there for?!" says Octavia. "About a minute, I think?" says Blitzo. Francesco and Octavia groaned and covered their faces with their hands. Vortex looks at his phone and says: "Hey everyone! The fireworks are about to start!" Everyone was standing next to each other as the fireworks started.
Beelzebub and Vortex were holding hands. Moxxie and Millie were holding hands. Blitzo, Loona and Stolas were holding hands. And Francesco and Octavia were holding hands. "So, is all of this better than going to Heaven?" says Octavia. "Anywhere is Heaven, as long it's with you and everyone else," says Francesco.
They both smiled at each other as the fireworks brightened up the sky.