Reason 4 Whore

(recently edited with added detail. Please read again)

Please leave a review if you want to even if to tell me how to improve or what you would like see happen. x

His friend Craig Cignarelli grips his hair and pushes himself into him none too gently and it reminds Erik of what his father does. But unlike with him, he had a choice and he wouldn't be 'punished' if he stops.

Erik pulls away and drops him from his mouth.

'Sorry, I can't…' He's shaking and crying. 'It's too big. It's…You're choking me.'

His friend smiles haphazardly at the backward compliment before he frowns in concern.

Craig knows he's bigger than average but he doesn't know if they will do any more than suck each other's dicks like they'd been doing on and off for the last 2 months. Their friendship took an unexpected turn this summer after they got drunk on Craig's father's finest whiskey and decided to experiment in his room. After they'd shared a spliff or two, prompting him to confide that he didn't like girls to his best friend Erik.

Craig knows he's handsome – his olive skin with its toned body and his green eyes have some boys and quite a lot of girls at their school in thrall.

But his best friend knows he wouldn't even give the fairer sex a second glance.

'It's OK. You don't have to. What's wrong?' Craig is hovering over him not even caring about being

disappointed. Instead, he draws him into a hug and strokes his back as Erik sags against him. 'Why

are you crying? It's OK.'

It felt like being hugged by Lyle.

Comforting.

Safe.

The opposite with Dad.

'Is it your dad?' The other boy seemed to know his last thought. 'Does he know about us?'

'Yes – I mean 'No', he doesn't know anything. He'd kill me if he did,' he shuddered.

His boyfriend's intuition is uncanny. Then again, Erik has dropped hints about his horrific home life

without actually saying anything. He needs to explain why sometimes he freezes sometimes or cries and tells Craig to stop whatever he's doing.

Craig presses his mouth against his shoulder, sensing his fear. 'It's OK, he won't…he won't...I promise.'

But he's wrong.

'Did your Dad say something to upset you?'

Erik didn't answer.

Craig sighs and pushes further tentatively, 'Did he do something …?'

He's always doing something – things to me, he badly wants to answer but Erik only nodded and broke into sobs but he wouldn't say what.

…

'You like your dad, right?' Erik asked when he could speak again.

'Sure. I love him.'

'Does he ever hit you with his belt and punch you in the face? Or call you mean names sometimes?'

'No, of course not…is that what…No, that would be abuse!'

'Abuse…' Erik mused like he was unfamiliar with the word.

Then, 'Am I your first boyfriend?' Erik probes because he can't ask what he really wants to.

'Yes.' Craig kisses him gently on the mouth. 'You know you are.'

'No, I mean…am I really your first? The first guy you've… you ever messed around with?'

'Sure. Why does it matter? You know I am. I couldn't admit that I only like other boys until recently. Guess I was still in denial…'

'I'm still not sure if I'm gay or not. I still think about the girls at school but you're the first boy I ever wanted to be with.'

Craig cupped his face in his hands. 'Your mine, too.' He looked down briefly. 'Erik, can I ask you something? Does your father hurt you?

Hit you with his belt?'

The younger Menendez brother clamped his hand over his mouth shut and got up to leave. 'Forget I ever said anything!', he cries in panic. Without confirming it, he already felt like a traitor and the world's most ungrateful son. Jose had given him and Lyle everything…Plus, his dad's threat was in his head.

'Speak to no-one about what we do in private…If you do, bad things will happen to you.'

Eric paused and looked back at his lover, trembling.

'I'll forget it if you want me to. But can I just say I kinda guessed. Jose's pretty scary. Maybe you should tell someone?' Craig plops down on a pool lounger.

Erik wavered as if undecided but joined him on it as if he'd made a decision. He wound his arms around him. 'It's OK, now. I want to.'

Craig grinned as they shared a kiss.

'Do what?' He kissed his bare shoulder after they came up for air.

Erik grinned. 'Everything.' It's not like having sex with Dad, he told himself and he's big, so it'll feel amazing.

'Let's have a spliff first.' Craig is nervous despite himself.

Soon, they're laughing and giggling but things turn serious.

'I've never done this before. Have you?'

Erik avoids his eyes. 'No. Only had sex with girls before', he lies but feels bad about it. 'Wait a minute, let me go and get something.'

He goes into the house and comes back out with a tube of lube stolen from Lyle's room.

No way is he going to use Vaseline.

'How do we do this?'

'Let's have another beer and spliff.' Erik also needs to get relaxed first even though it was his idea.

'Who's going to …you know….be the giver and receiver? That what you call it?'

'Kind of.'

In fact, the alcohol and the drug relaxes them so much that they don't even consider the fact they're exposed by staying by the pool if anyone was to come home. They're giggling as Erik volunteers to be bottom and guides Craig how to prepare him and stroke his dick.

When he's ready, Erik tells him to slide in.

'Are you sure?' Craig winces and moves forward slowly when his lover nods.

'OK?' He keeps checking in with his boyfriend.

'Yes. It's fine.' In fact, Craig is slightly bigger than Jose, Erik reckons and even has another chuckle about it even though he's being stretched almost unbearably.

Craig laughs. 'Can I start moving now?'

'No, just wait…' Erik winces momentarily as he adjusts to the other boy's bigger size and this is what his brother sees as he comes upon them without being noticed.

'What are you doing to my little brother?' Lyle's enraged. 'Get the fuck off him!'

'Oh uh…' Craig mumbles.

Erik is too mortified to react. His brother has seen them? Him naked having sex with another boy? Oh no!'

He cries out as Craig is dragged out of him and slammed against the painted white wall surrounding their outside pool.

'Lyle! You weren't supposed to be back until this evening…'

'Change of plans and good job I am, baby brother!' He shakes the other humiliated, naked boy like an errant cur. But Erik knows Lyle won't hit a younger boy who is more than half a head shorter and more slight than him.

Craig goes red. 'I'm sorry but we weren't doing nothing wrong!'

'He wasn't, Lyle! It was my idea!' But he ignores Erik because he's too busy eyeballing the hapless boy.

'You telling me, taking advantage of my brother isn't doing anything wrong?' Lyle's voice rises dangerously in anger.

Craig stares at them. 'Tell him he's got it wrong, Erik! I wasn't hurting you…'

Erik raised his face and looked at his brother.

'It's true. He wasn't taking advantage, Lyle. I… I wanted to. It was me who suggested it! It's not like…with…' He stopped and looked down at the ground when he realised what he was saying but he didn't need to.

Luckily his boyfriend hadn't heard or didn't realise the implication.

Lyle roughly lets Craig go but his face is flushed red with anger and his dark eyes are flashing rage.

Instead, he pulls Erik against him right in front of him.

Forgetting himself, Erik buries his face into the crook of his neck to shut out the world as is his habit when they're alone and winds his arms around his big brother in return.

Craig stares at them from where's he's fallen by the side of the pool. Although Lyle touching Erik wasn't that shocking, he was always doing it and they were well-known for being…well - tactile with each other.

'You don't touch him, ever again. You hear!'

'You can't tell us what to do.' Craig will not be intimated and stands his ground. He really likes and cares about Erik.

'Yeah? Well, still. Get out of here before I do some damage.'

Erik finally came back to himself and shoved him off. 'Don't listen to him, Craig! Stay.'

'Over my dead body.' Lyle sounded just like Jose.

Erik stared at him like he didn't know him anymore.

'I'll go then. I don't want to cause any more trouble. I'm leaving.' Craig started gathering his stuff.

'No, you don't have to…' Erik glared at his brother who smirked arrogantly just like their father and put his arm around his shoulders.

'Get off me!' Erik showed rare anger towards him and pushed him away again. 'Don't listen to him, Craig!' He flounced back into the

changing rooms while defiantly making a call me sign at the other boy deliberately in front of his brother.

Lyle's eyes went dark. 'Go on. Get out of here. I don't want to see you around my brother ever again. Got it?'

Craig shook his head and got angry. 'You can't stop me outside this house. Just because you're Daddy's richer than mine…'

Lyle's face darkened and he picked up a pool toy - an inflatable swan ring and threw it at the younger boy.

'Go on, get out.' He told him more gently this time and ran to follow his irritated little brother into the changing room.

Erik had already changed into shorts and a T-shirt and glowered back at him with uncharacteristic anger. Lyle was taken aback because usually his fragile brother could barely muster the anger to stick up for himself and let others take advantage, use him.

'Stop telling me who I can and cannot see! You do what you want!'

'I'm sorry.' Lyle was all contrite now as he cupped the back of the younger boy's head.

EriK turned around, anger deflating rapidly. Lyle's touch generally had that effect on him.

'It's OK. I know why you reacted like that and I tell you, I'm fine. He's 16 like me, he's my friend from school, you know him, our family knows his. Why are you freaking out?'

'I know. It's just…' Lyle drew him into his embrace. 'I'm just surprised you're…I mean that you'd like it after…'

They never dare to say it out loud but they know exactly what they mean.

'Lyle…' Erik curled into him further. 'You protect me. You always protect me.'

'What are big brothers for?' Lyle laughs. But he can't protect his little brother from what he doesn't know.

'Just let me be with who I want. It's not fair. You have Stacey.'

'Well, that's different…'

'No, it's not. Why?'

A couple of weeks later, Jose is dragging him up the stairs by his hair. Erik sqirms and grasps it instinctively but his father slaps his hands away.

'So you're having sex with another boy', Jose barks at him as he violently kicks open his son's door and throws him on his bed.

'Please, Dad…'

'I always knew you were a faggot. Your mother thinks so too.'

Why are you bringing her into it when you're the biggest fag of them all. Having sex with your own sons! Hypocrite! Erik thinks but daren't say aloud.

Somehow, it helps.

'How do you know?' Jose is already undoing his belt and tossing his pants aside.

'Lyle told me.'

Erik's heart sinks at his cruel words even as he screams in his head, Liar!

'You think he's your friend but he's not. Your brother tells me everything about you, who you see and everything you do.'

Erik's traitor eyes spring tears that fall down his cheeks and there's nothing he can do to stop them.

'What do you think?' Jose comes over to his bed, naked dick swinging between his legs. His son tries not to look.

'Oh Erik, son, ' Jose reached down to wipe away his tears from the corner of each eye with his thumb. 'What did I always tell you? You can't trust anybody in this world not even your brother. Cheat, lie, steal, win. What did I always tell you boys?'

Erik looks beyond him and says nothing while his mind screams Fuck you, fuck you, you're lying, Lyle would never do that to me, you sick fuck, you faggot.

'Strip!'

He does.

'Now, kneel on the bed.'

Erik obeys slowly.

'Hurry up!'

When he's naked, his father leans over him. The boy tries not to wrinkle his nose at his father's familiar smell of cigarettes and booze.

'Show me how you kiss your little friend.'

Erik reluctantly obeys by pecking his lips.

'Not like that.'

Erik tries not to gag in revulsion as his father forces his tongue into his mouth. Even if he's not forced to perform oral sex, he knows he won't keep his lunch down that day.

Jose kisses him quite gently and tenderly strokes his hair like he really does love him and Erik is fooled into thinking it's going to be a 'nice sex' session. He hates them - he hates all the different kinds of sex even though 'nice sex' generally doesn't hurt as much and not at all if there's no anal intercourse. Basically, because during 'nice sex', Jose makes him pretend to be his girlfriend basically and draws everything out.

Makes him orgasm, usually.

However, the next thing Erik feels is his side on fire as his father punches him off the bed. His head strikes the wall but he barely feels that.

He does his best not to react to the pain but his damn body has other ideas as his eyes tear up again.

Oh no, it'll make him even more mad. He barely has time to think this before he's being yanked up back and his father's waving not one

but 3 pieces of rope in his face. Where had the bastard hidden them all this time?

Uh oh. Not all the ropes are to restrain him. Jose must be really mad and crazy jealous.

Before he knows it, his arms are being yanked back above his head and tied to the bed posts but Jose leaves his legs free.

It's s not like timid little Erik would ever dare to kick at him or fight back- Jose has conditioned him to be submissive his whole life basically. In any case, he's just too beaten down after years of rapes and beatings as well as mental abuse from both parents.

'I'll teach you a lesson for being a slut and whoring with another boy for everyone to see! You dirty little faggot!'

'Please, Dad…We're not…'

'Shut up!' Jose screams at him and backhands him across the face. 'Did I give you permission to speak! Silence!'

'Did you even think to use protection?' His father continues his rant, spraying spittle in his face in his fury. 'What if you give AIDS to your mother and me? Did you ever think about us before you opened your legs to him!'

Despite his abject terror, the boy thinks of the obvious comeback to that but only in his mind.

Erik squirms as Jose ties the last rope around his genitals. 'Maybe this'll make you keep your dick to yourself in future!'

The pain is excruciating as the blood supply is slowly being cut off.

Erik sobs silently in agony and terror. Did his dad intend to castrate him? How long was he going to leave it on for?

Jose puts his 16-year-old's legs high up on his shoulders for deeper access before he lines himself up to take him as hard and brutally as he can without lube or any preparation. Erik screams so loud he wonders why his dad isn't worried about anyone hearing.

'Oh, don't look at me like that! Aren't you all slick and open from all your trysts with your little boyfriend? This is for your own good!

What kind of a future do you think a homosexual son of mine can have?'

I'm not homosexual, you sick fuck! Craig is the first boy I ever liked but I like girls. And even if I was, you made me gay.

Erik looks down and sobs under his breath as he desperately tries to anticipate and meet his father's vicious thrusts. If he can just do that, maybe he can escape the pain of his father's rape and the agony of his own trussed up dick which mercifully is starting to go numb now.

But Jose smiles cruelly as if reading his mind and changes the pace so he can't predict.

Erik can't escape. Plus, he knows he's going to bleed a bucket load after this particular punishment of 'rough sex'.

Meanwhile, his father's cursing him and calling him filthy names in Spanish. Thankfully, he doesn't really understand them but unfortunately, he gets the gist.

Finally, it is over after what seems an eternity. Jose leans over to kiss his lips before he forces his tongue in again. Meanwhile, Erik sobs and badly wants to turn his face away but he doesn't dare.

'My little boy', his father addresses him tenderly in Spanish and strokes his hair. 'You're mine, you were mine first and you'll be mine

forever.'

Unfortunately, Erik knows enough Spanish to understand. The realization has him turn away finally as he sobbed.

Then realizing what he'd done, he tensed up waiting for the retaliation from his father for this clear sign of defiance.

Amazingly, there is none.

Jose kisses his cheek softly and strokes back his curls from his forehead which inexplicably seems worse to the boy - before he gently unties him. Then he leaves.

…

Erik curls into fetal position and rides out the pain as the circulation starts to return to his penis.

After the pain subsides, he rushes to vomit down his toilet even though there was no oral sex this time.

Lyle AI comes on at the sound.

'Erik? Are you OK? Your face...Did your father hit you again?'

'Yes.'

'Is that why you're vomiting this time?'

'Partly because he kissed me! It was disgusting but mostly because Lyle told Dad about me and Craig. About when we tried to have sex. It was our first time!'

'Lyle told your father about you two?' The AI's tone is full of shock and disbelief. 'Are you sure?'

'Dad told me he did!'

'That doesn't mean it's true.'

'But Lyle was so...so angry! He attacked Craig and pinned him up against the wall! You weren't there!'

'But didn't you say he made it up with you after? Said he was 'Sorry'?

'Yes...but...'

'Do you think your brother would really betray you like that?'

'I don't think he would anymore. He...he always says he'll protect me.'

'Could it be that Jose is lying to drive a wedge between you, seeing how close you two have got and he found out from another source?'

Erik shrugged sadly. 'Maybe.' His tearful eyes filled up slowly with a kind of tentative hope.

'Was your father angry when he said this? Did he...do anything else to you?'

'Yes' and 'Yes'. The boy's voice was tight, his throat felt like it was constricted and he couldn't breathe. 'He...He punished me for it. Called me a 'whore' just like I'm a girl and said he was going to make sure I kept my dick to myself in future.'

'Oh, Erik.' AI Lyle's voice drips with sympathy at odds with the living and breathing Lyle. 'What did your father do to you this time?'

'He tied a rope around my…my…dick.' He gets that last word out with difficulty. 'And then he did what he always does. We had sex.'

'You didn't have 'sex'. It was 'rape' and 'sexual torture'.

'I know what it was!' He almost screams back. 'I thought it...my...might drop off!'

'Erik, it's not your fault. You have a right to explore your sexuality even with another member of the same sex if you wish to as long as both parties fully consent and are old enough. It's different with your father. You didn't want to have sex with him.'

He simply nods and sobs in reply, unable to speak and liking the fact that it had his brother's face and voice although Lyle would never sound like that in a 100 years.

'Plus, you're a minor and he's your father. The unequal power dynamics just within that parent-child relationship characterised by fear and severe abuse from a very early age means that you...'

'Shut up!' He doesn't want to hear any more excuses why he's a pussy who lets his father do the sick things he does to him. Erik hates himself so much as he hugs his wet knees where his tears are dripping down on them that he wants to die.

He can't stop crying and longs for the comfort of hearing his brother's voice again even if it isn't really him. 'Turn back on!'

'Hello, Erik.'

'Do you think I'm gay? Because of what he's doing to me?'

'I can't answer that for sure but I know you've had sexual relations with girls in the past. Are you still attracted to them?'

He smiles gently thinking about those sexual experiences. They had been sweet but different to Craig.

'Yes. I still like girls.'

'You're still so young, your sexuality probably isn't set in stone.'

He shrugs. 'I feel like I'll never know which way I am. Or maybe I'm both ways.'

'Possibly. Erik…You can't go on like this forever.'

'Don't you think I know that?'

'I've just got to survive until I can leave for college at 18.'

'Will you? Will you even survive until then?' The AI asked.

He had to admit it had a point.

'Turn off.'

He took a deep, shuddery breath as he felt the blood trickling down his thighs and dripping onto the tiles. He couldn't care less but he takes a shower and takes a dark grey flannel from the bathroom cupboard and stuffs it down his pyjama pants afterwards.

He hopes it's not visible and even though he doubts Jose will come into his room again that night, he can't bear to stay there.

Despite the deep burn of betrayl running through him, he's still so distraught by the sex with his father that night that he runs into his brother's room and gets into his bed with one of the very few stuffed toys that Lyle insisted on keeping. Even though he swears blind he doesn't play with them anymore since he was 17. Erik isn't entirely convinced but if that was the way his brother coped with growing up with parents like theirs, who was he to judge?

As Lyle isn't there yet, he picks up Kermit the frog and sobs into its soft, green felt body.

Feeling a little safer and praying for Lyle to return home that night, he hugs the stuffed frog to him and falls into a fitful doze.

Hours later, Lyle crashes in drunk and wakes him. 'Am I dreaming or there a hot babe waiting and willing for me?' He addresses the person-shaped lump in his bed in the dark room before he switches the light on.

'Oh, it's you.' He says with obvious disappointment. 'What you doing here and not in your own bed, little brother?'

He sees Erik is snuggled up with his stuffed frog. 'What were you and Kermit talking about?'

'About why you told Dad about me and Craig?' Erik's voice is hard and even Lyle draws back a little. Despite himself, their father has got to Erik and seeded doubts at the back of his mind about Lyle's loyalty.

'What?' Lyle shakes his head and stares at him in disbelief. 'I would never...'

'He told me you did. That you tell him everyting I do.'

'That's a lie!' Lyle puts his hand up to his mouth, aghast.

'Then you don't spy on me for him?'

'No! I haven't done that...since we were little.' Lyle breathlessly admitted. It hurt. 'That was before I knew it was wrong and just one of his sick and twisted games to divide us. I love you, Erik.'

'So, you did used to?'

'Yes, but not since I was 13! I'm sorry too for going off the deep end before- if you want to have some fun with another boy, who am I to stop you? As long as it's all consensual and no one's getting hurt…'

'You promise you didn't tell?' Now Erik's lower lip is trembling and he's shaking. He wants reassurance as the tears are about to fall again...the events of the day had just been too much...

'I promise.' Lyle reaches over and kisses his hair. 'I choose you, little brother. Not them.' Lyle gazed into his eyes steadfastedly. 'Always you.'

Erik bows his head and sobs in relief, believing his brother and still hugging Kermit to him.

'Hey...Hey...' Lyle is putting his arm around him and drawing him close. 'I've got you, I've got you. I'll always have your back.'

Erik sniffs but finally stops crying. 'I know. I didn't really believe him anyway. It was just...Dad...'

'Well...' Lyle lets him go and gives a dramatic yawn. 'I'm pissed drunk and need to sleep. Go back to your own bed, E.'

He shakes his head. 'Please can I stay?'

'Erik - you're 16 years old. Don't you think you're a little old for sleeping with your big brother?' Lyle rebukes him gently.

'I'm...I'm scared.'

'Scared of what?' Lyle doesn't mock him like their parents would and call him a 'pussy' but strokes his back, rubbing it in large, soothing circles. 'What is it?'

'I had a nightmare.'

'Nightmares, hey?' Lyle says. 'Aw, come here.' He hugs him.

'Can I?'

'Of course you can.' He bumps his shoulder gently. 'I'm only joking. Just hoping for a beautiful girl instead.' He laughed. 'But you'll do.'

Lyle went into his bathroom to get ready for bed and came back his silken, navy pyjamas and got in with him. He was about to switch off the lamp and turn away to sleep on his side when he was stopped by Erik's small voice.

'Can you…? I'm still scared.' He breathed.

Lyle smiled secretly because he was hoping Erik would ask. He loved taking care of him.

'Sure. Want to tell me what the nightmare was about?'

'It doesn't matter.' Erik shrugged. 'Forget it.'

He could never tell Lyle the 'bad dream' was their father or what he'd just done to him.

Lyle beams at him and puts an arm around him to draw him close. 'Come here.'

Erik nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt a warm glow surrounding him the same time as his brother's arms did. Then it faded but Lyle didn't seem to have noticed anything out of the ordinary as they snuggled together.

'Sweet dreams.' Lyle told him and pressed his lips chastely to his forehead.

That warm kiss lingered though.

About a month later, they had confirmation that it was an outwardly homophobic male student who was hiding their own struggles with their sexuality who had seen Erik and Craig fooling around behind the bike sheds in the school yard and spread the rumour around their class. Then it had got back to some of their parents and then unfortunately, to Kitty and Jose. Lyle publicly confronted the suspect and got the confession out of him with barely a blow.

Nobody else in the class was really bothered the two boys sleeping together - this was Beverly Hills, home to the rich and famous and the worldly. Besides, they were mostly sympathetic to Erik who was known as a crybaby but in an affectionate way.

Only Erik knew how much his brother abhorred using violence and that his macho image was mostly for show to please their father.