Peter Parker trudged up the stairs to the shared apartment he regretted ever agreeing to. Living with Wade Wilson, Deadpool himself, had been an endless adventure in chaos—a tornado of strange smells, misplaced grenades, and impromptu karaoke sessions. But despite the madness, Peter had begrudgingly come to appreciate Wade's heart, even if it was buried beneath layers of insanity.

Still, tonight had been long. Spider-Man had spent hours swinging across the city dealing with a runaway subway car and a robbery gone wrong. All he wanted now was a quiet evening of food, TV, and maybe grading some papers.

Instead, when he opened the door to their apartment, he was greeted by chaos.

"Uncle Spidey's home!"

Peter barely had time to brace himself before a small, freckled whirlwind of a child barreled into his legs, hugging him tightly.

"Hey, Maddie," Peter said, patting her head awkwardly. The seven-year-old grinned up at him with missing teeth and a spark of mischief that rivaled Wade's.

"Did you beat up the bad guys today?" Maddie asked eagerly.

"Uh, yeah, something like that," Peter said, glancing around the room. It was a mess. Again. The couch cushions were stacked into a fort, an open pizza box sat precariously on the coffee table, and Wade was sprawled across the floor, wearing an apron that read"Kiss the Merc"and holding a spatula like it was a sword.

"Welcome home, roommate-slash-co-dad!" Wade declared, flipping the spatula with flair.

"Why are you wearing an apron?" Peter asked, setting his bag down.

"Because I'm cooking," Wade replied.

Peter eyed the pizza box. "Really? What are you cooking? Pizza that someone else already made?"

"Technically, Ireheatedit. That counts as cooking. Anyway, dinner's ready!" Wade said, gesturing grandly at the pizza.

Maddie giggled and climbed onto the couch fort, grabbing a slice. "Wade says we're having a fancy family dinner tonight!"

Peter rubbed his temples. "Right. Fancy."

This was Peter's life now. Maddie had been part of it for almost three years—ever since Wade showed up one night holding her in his arms like a football and announcing, "Look what I found!"

Peter had been too shocked to form coherent words at the time. Wade explained that his latest "mission" had involved eliminating a dangerous crime boss. The boss had been Maddie's father, and according to Wade, his client's instructions had been crystal clear:"Take care of the target and the kid."

"Wait," Peter had asked, horrified. "So you killed her dad?!"

"Well, duh," Wade had said, as if it were obvious. "He was a jerk. But don't worry, I took care of the kid too!"

Peter, assuming Wade had dropped Maddie off with a responsible guardian, breathed a sigh of relief—until Wade clarified, "Yeah, she's gonna live with us now. Cool, right?"

And that's how Peter ended up co-parenting a seven-year-old with the most unpredictable mercenary alive.

The apartment was oddly calm that night after dinner. Maddie had fallen asleep in her room, clutching her stuffed unicorn, and Peter was sitting at the kitchen table grading papers. Wade, for once, was quiet, flipping through a comic book on the couch.

It was peaceful. Too peaceful. Peter felt like a storm was brewing.

"Hey, Pete," Wade said suddenly, breaking the silence.

Peter didn't look up. "What?"

"You know how you're, like, super smart?" Wade asked.

Peter sighed, setting his pen down. "What do you want, Wade?"

"Nothing! Nothing at all," Wade said, holding up his hands defensively. "I just... had a thought. You know, like abigthought."

Peter arched an eyebrow. "You had a thought? Should I be worried?"

"Probably," Wade admitted. "So, remember when I first brought Maddie home? And I told you my client said to 'take care of the target and the kid'?"

Peter nodded slowly. "Yeah. And I'm still not over the fact that you interpreted that as 'kill the dad and keep the kid.'"

"Right, right," Wade said, waving his hand dismissively. "But what if... and hear me out here... what if I misunderstood that part?"

Peter stared at him. "You'rejust nowrealizing that?"

"I mean, it hit me earlier today while we were playing Twister," Wade said, scratching his chin. "Like, what if the client meant todrop her off at a safe placeor something? You know, instead of... raising her?"

Peter closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Wade. Are you saying that afterthree years,you just figured out you might've made a mistake?"

Wade shrugged. "Hey, better late than never, right?"

Peter stood up, pacing the room. "Unbelievable. So what, you're just now realizing you might not have been cut out for parenting?"

"Oh, I've always known that," Wade said cheerfully. "But look how great Maddie turned out! She's smart, funny, and only alittleviolent."

Peter stopped pacing and turned to glare at him. "Wade, this isn't a joke. You basically kidnapped her!"

Wade looked genuinely offended. "Kidnapped? Please. Irescuedher. You think Hydra agents would've given her bedtime stories and waffles?"

Peter hesitated. He hated to admit it, but Wade had a point. Maddie had been in danger, and while Wade's methods were... unconventional, she was safe now.

"Fine," Peter said, rubbing the back of his neck. "But what are we going to tell her when she gets older? When she asks about her dad?"

Wade was uncharacteristically quiet for a moment. He stood, walking over to Peter with his hands stuffed into his pockets.

"We'll tell her the truth," Wade said finally. "That her dad wasn't a great guy, but she deserved better. And we'll tell her that we did our best. Because that's what we're doing, Pete—our best."

Peter stared at him, surprised by the sincerity in Wade's voice.

"You actually care about her, don't you?" Peter asked softly.

"Of course I do," Wade said, his tone uncharacteristically serious. "She's the best thing that ever happened to me. Well, besides my katanas. And tacos." He paused, scratching his head. "Okay, top three for sure."

Peter couldn't help but smile. "You're a mess, Wade. But maybe—just maybe—you're not the worst dad in the world."

"I'll take it!" Wade said, grinning. "Now, let's go wake Maddie up for a midnight game of Monopoly."

Peter groaned. "Absolutely not."

"Fine, spoilsport," Wade said, flopping back onto the couch. "But just so you know, when Maddie wins her first Nobel Prize, I'm taking full credit."

Peter shook his head, but deep down, he knew Wade wasn't entirely wrong. Somehow, against all odds, they'd built a weird little family.

And, chaos or not, Peter wouldn't trade it for anything.