He flinched, and his nose felt a tickle. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Jack sneezed, and as he did, his eyes flew open. He had been sleeping and had not even remembered falling asleep. As he shook his head slightly to wake up, he felt something else hit his face and realized that in his light sleep, he'd felt a few things hit his face, almost like a light snow. Was he dreaming? Was it snowing? Jack snapped his head up, fully awake now, and he looked around. He was in the hospital, everything coming back to him quickly, which told him how out of it he must have been. He was in Lisa's room, and man, he'd been sleeping hard. He rubbed at his neck, noting that he'd fallen asleep in the hard chair this room had; he'd lost his recliner chair from the ICU, and as he rubbed at his neck, he looked over at Lisa.
"Sorry," she frowned at him. "I hated to wake you."
"No, no," he shifted in his chair, and it was then, Jack realized there were balled up tissues all around him. He glanced back to Lisa, eyeing her, "Were you throwing tissues at me?"
Jack watched as Lisa blushed and then pointed to him, "I was, but only because-is that my computer I hear? It sounded like a video chat. I've been trying to wake you up, but as we both know, you sleep like the dead."
"Oh, it is," Jack sprang up, walking to the suitcase where he'd been keeping the computer in the front zipper pocket area. He'd been trying to speak to the girls and to both Beth and Ben mostly in the break room since Lisa had been sleeping so much. He glanced back at her as he dug it out. "You were throwing tissue at me?"
She shrugged, "I mean, I called for you, but you were sleeping hard. I couldn't exactly get up easily or without help to get to you or the computer. I didn't know where it was anyway. I had this box of tissue here on my table because," she rolled her eyes, "I keep crying, and in my defense, it was either the tissue or this remote thing on a cord, which I had decided would hurt. However, you've really irritated me these last few months, so maybe I should have used the remote. Now, you should be thanking me these aren't used tissues. You're welcome."
"Wouldn't care if they had been used, not the worst thing that has been thrown my way here," he said with a small smile as he pulled out the computer and walked back to sit down. He gestured at it, "I'm guessing it's the girls." Jack glanced to his watch, sticking it far away from his hand because he'd handed over his pair of glasses to Lisa-he'd have to get another pair because he didn't think she'd just hand them back over. In fact, as he considered his options, yes, he'd just use the pair she'd bought and had in her purse. Apparently, she hated them because they weren't his. Well, he would gladly wear hers, anything to remind him of her.
Jack sat down and worked to get the computer open and running. He glanced at Lisa as he heard her chuckle, her beautiful laugh, music to his ears and something he hadn't heard much of in months.
"What?"
"This," she waved her hand at him. "I'm taking in this look of yours, you using technology."
Jack looked at her and frowned, but then, he flashed a smirk at her, "Just so you know, I've gotten quite good at using a computer, at least the video chat aspect. I've been using it with you for years now, but you do know that. See," he waved at it, "I can change and adapt if I want to, and for people I love."
"Yes, I know," she said with a tilt of the her head and a small smile. "I've just not seen this end of it as much, you being willing to adapt. Most things are on your terms. Wait, how did my computer get here? I didn't have it with me that day, did I? Did you go to the house?"
"No," he eyed her, standing and putting down the computer as he walked over to the tray table to snatch his glasses off of it. He gave her a nod as he did, holding up the glasses, "I'll return these so you can have them, but I need something to see that ridiculously small keyboard. As far as your computer, no, I haven't been to the house, came straight here from the airport. Ben set up a car service, and I'm very grateful he did. I didn't have to navigate that with my very poor understanding of French. Beth got your computer, picked it up on her way here when she stopped by your house to secure it, knowing you wouldn't be there for quite some time. She saw it, thought it might be needed, and here it is," Jack held it up. "I've needed it, as much as it pains me to admit it, that I need technology sometimes."
Lisa's eyes widened, "Oh, gosh, why have I not even thought about work?"
"Lise, just relax," he nodded at her and eyed her now over his glasses. "Your business is going smoothly. Amy has been in communication daily with Harry, going over to Fairfield most days, even checked on your house a few times. Your staff is really sorry to hear about your accident, but things are running like clockwork because you are such an incredible businesswoman and boss. Your staff loves you, Lise," he said as he smiled softly at her from his chair. "They won't let you down."
She listened and nodded, "I can't believe it's not crossed my mind-"
"You've been in a coma, Lise, and since then, let's face it-your entire existence has been focused on eating, staying awake, and standing up. It's okay. Now that you're awake more, we can certainly get a video chat set up for you with Harry when you are willing, but as you know, he's a trusted stable manager and is taking care of things while you cannot. Now," he nodded to the computer, "looks like I missed a video chat with home. I've mostly been talking to the girls down in this break room," and he paused, frowning as he nodded, "which was in the ICU, but I suppose I'll have to find somewhere else to sit down and call them."
"Jack," she sighed, frowning at him, as she waved her hand, "you can certainly call the girls from here now. Just," she made a face, and Jack titled his head trying to figure out what she was going to say, "don't expect me to be on the camera. I look awful."
"You don't," he shook his head. "Not in the least. You are always beautiful, even more now because I've seen how far you've come in these last what now, almost three weeks I've been here. I was just so worried I'd never speak to you again," he said, biting his lip as he dropped his head and shook it. "Really scared me, Lise."
"I, ahh," she paused, almost considering what she was going to say. Jack studied her as she did, and finally, she nodded, "I know the feeling."
"Suppose we both do," he offered a sad frown. "It occurred to me the two of us have spent most of this calendar year in the hospital, not at all what I would call a good time, but," he looked up and locked eyes with her, "we're both recovering and going to get through all of this, together, I hope, I plan," he amended. "That's all I want, Lise, to get us both back on our feet, together, and with all this time to reflect, I really have realized how much I botched this up."
"Yes, well, as we both know, we could discuss the last seven years of botched mistakes for quite some time, but," she waved toward the laptop, "do you need to take care of that?"
"Right," he nodded, raising his eyebrows to Lisa, "but to be continued, more of our discussion. Now, yes, I'll call the girls to see how things are going, and I'll keep you out of the limelight even thought I disagree with every assessment of how you look. Always beautiful, even with still a broken arm and pelvis. Now, back to my technology," he smirked and then mumbled, "I've been embracing technology for years with you traveling the world."
"Hmm," Lisa was leaning her head back against the pillow but had her head turned toward Jack, "I remember thinking you'd embraced it too much-"
"What do you mean?" Jack eyed her over his glasses after he clicked on a couple buttons.
"Last year, the Internet dating fiasco," she rolled her eyes.
"You know," Jack nodded, taking off his glasses for the moment to look at Lisa better as he pointed at her, "I still have a bone to pick with Beth about that and didn't address it when she was here, but to be fair, that was a total nightmare, trying to get to you and then seeing how frail and how touch and go you were. That's the first I've seen Beth in some time, and I should have told her what I thought of her signing you up for that Internet dating site."
"I told her all of that was ridiculous, that nothing works out from those things, and then," she dropped her voice and looked away, "there you were, staring back at me on the screen, your profile, I mean."
"And I thought there was no way anything good could come from those silly sites, but when I finally did get my hands on the mess Mallory had created, there you were, so as ridiculous as I still believe the sites are, something in their analysis seems to be correct. Hudson might have initially thought we were a crazy match, but the Internet whatever proved what we already knew, that we are a perfect match, perfect for each other."
"Except," Lisa looked back at Jack and frowned, "a match doesn't guarantee commitment or priority. It's only a match of commonalities, and that's where we've found our problems. Common interests only go so far, and sometimes love just isn't enough."
Jack pursed his lips and nodded, "Maybe, maybe not, but I've never stopped loving you, Lise, and I think you still love me. My problem is that I've not prioritized you, and that is not okay. I let things just get too comfortable, and I always saw you as part of the family, but not as my most important person. You are, but I haven't told you or shown you that. I thought I was after my heart attack, and I realize I went about that all the wrong way. I thought I was doing what was best for you, letting you go-"
"But I'm not one of the girls," she waved her hand. "I'm not your daughter, contrary to the beliefs of some," she huffed. "I don't need you making decisions about what is best for me."
"You are right about that, and I'm sorry. To be fair, I didn't think of you like that, as anything other than the woman I love most in this world," he said as he locked eyes with her. "I've grown in ways I never thought possible through you, by loving you. Lise, I adore you, and yes, I was wrong to make decisions for you without you. I suppose as you point out, that I didn't even think about it like that, that I was doing something to protect you like I would the girls, and I'm sorry. We're supposed to be a team, and I have not been a team player."
Lisa nodded as he spoke, finally adding, "More like the team bench player, sitting on the sidelines, watching things go on right in front of you, but not participating, even if it directly impacts you. Then, suddenly you are thrown in the game, and the the ball is in your court to be that team player and support your teammate, but you just drop back and let the teammate carry you. I just can't keep doing it. I can't win this for both of us. I can't want this," she waved her hand, "for both of us."
He frowned too, but nodded, adding, "Well, in your analogy, better than being on the losing team where that is final, no coming back to change the score. I refuse to lose you, and I know it will take time, but I'm here in France, making a fool of myself as I try talking to all of these medical professionals but refusing to give up because I need you, and I hope you still need me. I don't want to live whatever life I have left without you, and after this horrendous start to the year, I hope that we can eventually get things back on track, no," he shook his head and frowned, "correct that, not back on track, but on a new path, together, making decisions about our future together and finding that way forward. You were right," he looked her in the eye, "I hadn't thought about a way forward until you put your cards on the table. I was okay with the status quo, but that's not fair to you, to us. I want to move forward, with you," he told her, giving her a nod. "You deserve better than to be just someone dropping in and out of my life. I'm sorry I've treated you like that."
The room was silent, Lisa just looking at him, her lips pursed as she kept her head turned toward him but on the pillow.
"What does that mean and don't deflect to say that moving forward means literally my getting up and getting to walking."
"No," he shook his head. "While that is something I probably would say," he met her gaze, "I'm serious, Lise. We weren't in the right place a few years ago when Lou was getting married. We both realized that, and yeah, I still had a lot to work through, but I have, and I need you to know that. I think over the years, though, that a conversation from that moment in time has been assumed as the official stance on things and-"
The two looked up as her door opened, and at the same time, the video chat rang again on the computer, bringing both of them back to the reason Jack had that computer in his lap-the girls had been trying to contact him. He looked over to Lisa and gave her a sad smile.
"Interrupted again, nothing new," he sighed. "I'm sorry."
"Story of things for us, right?" Lisa shrugged, and she tried to focus on the nurse who had walked to her bedside. Jack stood, computer in hand, and he waved toward the door.
"Look, let me see what the girls need to discuss. I'll find a spot to call them back, and maybe we can talk more later."
"Not like I'm going anywhere," she said with a slight roll of her eyes.
"You will be soon," he pointed at her as he held the computer in his hand. "You'll be doing laps around this floor. Now," he glanced at his watch, "good grief, it's dinner time already?"
"You slept quite some time," she waved her hand at the floor, and Jack noted all of the tissue she'd thrown at him. Before leaving, he put down the computer and picked up all of the tissues, looking back at Lisa.
"Tell you what-I'm going to get you some real food not just the oatmeal or whatever they called it earlier. Deal?"
"I'd love something normal," she offered a small smile as the nurse worked there at her bedside.
He knocked his knuckles on her bedside table and nodded, "Normal food on the way," and he winked at her. Before he turned to leave, he met her gaze, "I love you, Lise. I have for a long, long time, and while you have been right about what a disaster I've made about all of this, right about well, pretty much every aspect of our relationship and our issues, you're wrong on one thing-loving each other is enough. I promise you it is, and I'm going to keep showing you that it's all we need to move forward, and that, my love, I will talk more about later," and without waiting for a response, he gave her a nod, turned, and he walked to the door, only glancing back as he opened it. Lisa had followed his movements, her eyes locked on his, and as he stepped outside, he gave her one last sad smile before turning his attention on the tasks at hand. They had to get her up, moving, and eventually out of the hospital, and then, they could start working on this moving forward-together-because after seeing what life without Lisa looked like for even just a short time, they had to be together-anything else wasn't something he could even consider.