Ally Pov
I wake up to the sound of my phone alarm going off somewhere on the nightstand. I had managed to kick the blankets mostly off of me sometime in the night, but I wasn't cold. I was on my side, Seth curdled into me at my back. My right leg was in front me on the bed, with his in between mine. His arms where like a cage around me, holding me tightly to him. I was about to sit up and search for my phone, but his arm moved, reaching up easily and swiping the alarm away.
"Good morning." He said quietly, his voice rough with sleep. His hand tucked back under my side.
"Good morning." I said tiredly, wiggling deeper into his warm body. He kissed my shoulder, his lips moving up to my ear as I moved.
"You might not wanna do that." He said seriously. I ignored him, moving my leg back from the bed and tucking into his shape. Then I realized why he had said that, his erection pressed into my ass and I felt myself blush but I managed to very nonchalantly shrug.
"It doesn't bother me." In fact it was the complete opposite, I fought the urge to press closer to him.
"I was just trying to be respectful." He said, kissing my head. He could respectfully do whatever he wanted I thought, then laughed to myself.
"What?" He asked, his tone curious. I was about to say nothing but then felt bad, he obviously wanted me to share with him more so I would try.
"My mind was being dirty is all."
"Shocker, do I want to know?" He asked, I could hear his smile without even seeing it, but I missed his face. I pulled away, turning onto my other side and snuggling up to him again. His hand slid up my back then down to my hip.
"That depends, can you control yourself?" I asked, giving him a sweet smile. He didn't miss the slight challenge in my tone. His hand pulled my thigh up and over his, then slid up my leg and grabbed my ass through my shorts.
"Guess we'll find out." He said roughly. I found it extremely hard to concentrate when he did that, and I had a vague sense in wondering why the absolute hell I had told him to stop last night. I sighed as his hand kneaded me and thought this had quickly veered into dangerous territory.
"Tell me." He demanded, his face leaning in closer to me. His arm behind me bent, trapping my head from being able to move at all and his lips hovered centimeters away from mine, brushing feather light when he talked.
"You can respectfully fuck me." My eyes grew huge, and I clamped my mouth shut, adding my hand for good measure. I had NOT meant to say that out loud. Holy fuck did I seriously just say that out loud. He looked just as startled for two whole seconds, then I heard a sound rumble up from his chest, a growl. He was growling and I had no idea what to do. He grabbed my hand, pulling it away from my mouth and kissed me hard. I just let him, there was no recovering from this one and when he pulled away I was gasping for breath, my chest heaving against him.
"One day princess, I promise to do just that." He growled out, his lips right by my ear. I shivered against him, my body coming alive and hummed with my need for him.
"I didn't mean to say that out loud." I said feebly, my voice low.
"Oh I know, but you're not taking that back and I don't want you to. It was the hottest thing I've ever heard, what other dirty things are you keeping from me?" He said, his hand going back to my ass. I was very quickly losing my mind, at this point I was going to need a very cold shower if I was going to even make it into school. Dammit school.
"I keep a lot of my thoughts to myself. They only get me in trouble." I say.
Exhibit A was the way he currently looking at me, and I wanted nothing else but to skip school and stay here with him, but If I did that I would absolutely try to play out that scenario and I knew there were reasons why we shouldn't, though I couldn't remember them for the life of me. I was saved by my second alarm, the 'Get your ass up or you're going to be late' one and it seemed to clear his head a bit. He reached over to turn that one off to then gave me another kiss, this one softer.
"Where not done here but go get ready for school." He said, then smacked my ass and rolled away. I did just that, heading into the bathroom and changing. When I came out I grabbed my bag, making sure I didn't still have any unnecessary things in there from yesterday. I noticed the picture of my father on his dresser and smiled. I loved that he cared enough to make sure it was safe for me. There was a quick knock on the door then Nessie's voice came from the other side.
"If you want food you better get out here, im driving today and I'll leave your butt behind if your late." She would to, though Seth would just drive me but no sense in them both going. He was still in bed, his arms tucked under his head, watching me pull my socks on and up my calf, then my shoes. I walked over to him, leaning over and giving him a kiss.
"I'll see you later." He grinned, passing my phone to me. I gave him a last glance before grabbing my bag and walking out. I closed the door behind me in case he wanted to sleep some more. Ness was at the island, finishing up a pop tart and looking sourly.
"I can't wait to graduate." She grumbled.
"Oh god, don't even remind me. I still have no clue what I want to do." I sighed heavily, that decision seemed so much harder to make now that Seth was in my life. If he couldn't be away from me, then he would follow whatever I chose. That didn't seem fair.
"Why don't you just take a year off, have some fun, make some memories." She winked at me, handing me a pop tart, and grabbing her bag.
"We can all go down to la push." We walked out of the house, going around the pool and to the front where her tesla was parked.
"I don't know, at this point I'll have to take a year off if I don't decide soon." We climb in and start down the long driveway. I unwrapped my food, chewing slowly.
"I haven't told my parents yet that I wanna go back, well not back exactly but to la push.." She says, sounding worried.
"How come?" I ask.
"Cause Im worried. I mean, im there only kid, can ever be and it was hard enough for them to watch me go from a baby to an adult in just seven years. It feels to soon to leave them behind." She sighs heavily. I felt bad for not realizing how much this weighed on her.
"Then why leave?" This was apparently the wrong question cause she sighed even heavier than before.
"It's easier for me, my family isn't going anywhere, I'll have them forever but for Jacob...his is mostly human, he has to lose a lot more than I do. He says it's worth it, to keep me forever but he needs this time with them, even if he doesn't see that now." I wondered what it was like to know that someday every human you had known would be dead. I couldn't imagine that, to me we had so many years, in the grand scheme of things, we were still so young but Ness would never change.
"Im glad I know, even if you stay young and pretty forever while I get old and wrinkly. Im glad we can keep this."
"Me to. I need my sister for this kind of stuff." She grinned at me.
"Speaking of. I accidentally asked Seth to fuck me this morning." I said, leaning my head back against the seat. Her reaction was exactly what I thought it would be, she bursted into a laugh before asking.
"Accidentally?"
"Well I didn't mean to say it out loud! but he was so close, and I couldn't think straight and I just said it." I covered my face with one hand while she continued to laugh.
"You think that's bad, every time I touch Jake he can hear exactly what im thinking."
"I thought you could control it?"
"Not when where like that, I have no control over myself when he touches me. I have to purposely keep my hands off him. Which isn't easy. " She laughed and pulled into the lot.
"Sounds hot." I tease.
"So does you asking Seth to fuck you." She replies.
"Oh my god I can't believe my dumb ass actually said that." We grabbed are bags and made our way into the building.
"What'd he do."
"Well...he ah..kinda growled."
"Yeah, they do it. The first time Jake did it he apologized." She grinned.
"Did you tell him it was hot as hell?" I asked, remembering the feeling. She laughed as we walked into class.
"Yes I did." We sat down and I took out my homework, leaving it on the desk to be collected. I jumped a tiny bit when her hand touched my arm, her thoughts popping into them. I still wasn't totally used to that, despite her doing it often now around other people.
It's awesome to finally be able to talk about this stuff. I know it's all new for you but im here if you have questions.
"Thats a role reversal." I say, smiling at her. She grins and then shrugs.
"There are some things that are easier to talk about with someone who gets it." Well if that wasn't the truth. I suddenly felt explicitly thankful, something I hadn't felt since I lost my dad. I spent so much time being angry at the world and then at myself, wondering why me and now here I was, thinking why me but with happiness.
We were sitting at lunch when my phone buzzed, and I smiled when I saw Seth's name appear.
Right or left side of the bed?-Seth
left?-Ally
Okay. Can't wait for you to get home-Seth
That was going to take getting used to, but I thought it was something I wanted, at least with him. Maybe Ness was right, I could take a year off and just...be. Something I hadn't been able to do in a while, maybe I didn't have to have it all figured out. Maybe we could go down and see his home, since he's already seen so much of mine. Although that meant having to meet family and that was terrifying, also it would give me time to get a job and save some more, maybe get a car.
Me to-Ally
And I could really mean it. If I didn't think too much about the whole magical bond thing I was genuinely happy to be near him, to have him around always. I was still a tiny bit skeptical about us sharing a room but if I were honest with myself I probably wouldn't want him in the living room anyways, I liked falling asleep in his arms, it made me feel...safe and cared for. So as long as my excitement of having him there with me was bigger than my unsureness of the whole thing then I felt like it was okay.
I miss you- Ally
I chewed on the inside of my cheek as I hit send. It was so hard to admit to him that, I couldn't deny it to myself and I knew it wasn't fair to keep it from him. He had no qualms about telling me how he felt, unless he was being careful not to overwhelm me, which I knew he did. Even when his tone stayed light and playful I could see the deeper emotions burning in his eyes, knew he was thinking more then what he said but he was doing it for me, so I could do this for him. I could force myself to be stronger, fake it till I actually felt it at least. His reply came in moments, no hesitation even through his texts.
I miss you to beautiful-Seth
I smiled and tried to turn my attention back to our lunch table. Ness was smirking at me out of the corner of her eye but was looking half interested in whatever Amanda was saying besides her.
Suddenly I felt my chair jerk underneath me, getting kicked from someone walking pasts, I gripped it quickly, stopping myself from falling out and looked around. Two guys had just walked behind Ness and I, looking over their shoulders and glaring at us. I knew them instantly, they were the same boys I had grown up with, the ones that followed Brad around like little puppy sidekicks. Tyler and Nick paused, looking between us with childish snarls.
"Oops." Tyler said, not apologetic at all. My hands balled into fists, and I tried to rein in my temper, I could not start another fight.
"Didn't see you there." Nick finished, eyeing Ness. It made my stomach queasy, and I ground my teeth.
"Maybe you should pay better attention, before something bad happens to you." I snapped out, watching their eyes widen slightly and I knew what they were remembering, Seth's furious stare that night in the bowling alley.
"I don't see anybody here to protect you now, you're the one who needs to watch out." Tyler said, practically spitting the words out.
"Fuck off before I get my brothers and boyfriend to beat your asses. I promise they'll never find the bodies." Ness growled at them, her eyes menacing with the threat. knowing what I knew now I was absolutely sure that she was right, they never would find the bodies. They acted tough as they rolled their eyes at her but walked away then.
"I can't wait to graduate. I never wanna do the high school thing again." She said, her voice hushed so only I could hear.
"I can't wait for this day to end." I said, feeling a little more drained by the encounter. I was so ready to leave and finally the last bell rang. We cleaned up aour stations in art and then headed outside to the parking lot.
"Are you excited for the house?" Ness asks, smiling as she walks.
"I am..." I say, thinking about all the things that came with it.
"You don't sound it.." She responds, eyeing me carefully as we head to her car.
"Im a little nervous. He says he doesn't mind staying on the couch, I don't really want him to…but I also don't know how to share my space. I mean what if its awkward or something? I've never shared a room with someone."
"Well you like being around him right? and sleeping in the same bed with him?" I feel my cheeks warm at the though. Yes I very much enjoyed that.
"Yeah."
"Then don't worry too much. Boys are pretty simple, just tell them what you need or want, and they'll do that. At least ours will. I have no clue about normal boys but Jake and Seth, what really makes them truly happy is making us happy. If there's an issue about sharing your space or anything else just tell him, he'll do whatever he can to try and make it better."
"Does it ever feel a little...lopsided to you? Like they do some much for you and you're just kind of...there?" Her brows pull down a little, her face pensive as she starts the car.
"Not really, but it was different for me. Jakes always taken care of me, when I was little he helped mom and dad care for me, so for me it's natural for him to be that. He's safe, he's home and I guess I'd feel that way except I know that no one else in the whole world can love him the way I do, that's how it evens out I think."
I knew she was right about that, there relationship had always been unquestionable. Maybe that was why I never really saw the age difference or how strange it was that a family friend had moved with them. Even before they had actually gotten together he was hers, there was no question about it. I wondered if it was like that for all of the imprints and then almost laughed cause I was one and could answer that very question. Yes, he had felt like mine from the beginning. It was crazy seeing Seth for the first time, cause I knew I had never met him before, I would have remembered him but from that first moment I knew him. Something deep in me recognized him and the voices in my head that had made no sense whatsoever where trying to tell me that. Here's a wonderful gorgeous handsome man and he's yours. I had thought immediately that I knew him, of course I did because how could you not know your other half, but I had refused to listen to that voice. A lightness crept into my chest, a slow overwhelming sense of rightness and hope.
"This is really happening isn't it?" I said out loud, looking over to Ness and waiting for some confirmation. She grinned and took my hand, squeezing it gently.
"It really is. Are you okay with that?" I couldn't help but smile, letting her hand go as we pulled onto her unmarked drive.
"Im okay with it, im happy with it." And I really was. Yes it was crazy, yes it was all impossibly happening so fast, and I would probably still cry tomorrow when Jonah and mom actually left but it was all going to be okay. For the first time in years I could actually see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it was brilliantly bright. Once we passed through the gate we took the left fork, driving up the road for the first time.
"Have you seen it yet?" I asked her, my excitement growing.
"Not yet." The road wasn't quite as long as the one to the Cullen house, that one must be situated towards the middle. About halfway through there was another fork and we went left again.
"That leads to the main house, just a shortcut." She said and then another couple moments later we pulled up. It looked pretty similar to last time, but I was still awe struck by the whole thing. We had a fricken house, for just the four of us. The whole Cullen family was outside, either talking among themselves or sitting on the porch. We parked and climbed out, leaving my bag in the back.
"Welcome home." Esme said, stretching her arms out wide. Ness grinned and walked right over to her, hugging her before turning to the rest of her family and doing the same.
"This is so cool." I said, looking up at it. Esme wrapped an arm around my back loosely, giving me a small hug.
"Where is Jake and seth?" Ness asked, I had been wondering that myself.
"There trying to collect the cats. Turns out they aren't so keen on moving the way you are." Bella said, laughing softly.
"We tried to help but they won't come anywhere near us." Edward smiled, not looking to upset over it.
"They've seen it already, come on girls." Esme said, her beautiful inhuman face almost impatient. She led us up the front porch and opened the big wooden door, letting us inside.
I looked around, feeling a bit dazed at the whole thing. It was perfect, big enough for both the huge boys but still warm and homely. The main portion was completely open, I could see the back wall with the glass slider that opened onto the huge back porch. The door into the living room, the tv was mounted to the wall facing the large L shaped couch from Jakes place. On my left was a hall table with pretty flowers in a vase, besides that a door that I knew led into the half bath and laundry room from the blueprints. The kitchen was huge, occupying the whole rest of the room. The stove and sink where to the left and the fridge to the right with rows of counters in between and the slider in the middle. A long wooden table was placed between the invisible wall of both rooms, allowing for easy use off it all. One person could be at the oven, another on the couch and another at the table with ample room between everybody, but it would be easy to still communicate and gather. I was surprised to see both Ness's and I's art on the walls, they both fit so perfectly despite us having different mediums.
"Grandma this is perfect." Nessie said, looking around like I had been as Bella and Edward came in behind us, everybody else seemed to linger outside.
"Thank you. Go check out your rooms so I know everything's ready." My bedroom door was on the backside of the couch against the east wall. Our bedroom, I internally corrected as I approached it and stepped in.
It was nothing like what my bedroom had been at my mom's house, this one was warm and cozy with the dark floors and grayish blue walls. It immediately felt serene, somewhere you could easily curl up and forget the world. There were two doors on the right, the first a walk in closet and the second a bathroom. There was a desk behind the door with a laptop on it, it had to be either new or Seths. The bed and nightstands where from the old room, the same shade of wood that matched everything else. I walked around a bit, noting more of my pictures on the walls in here, including the ones of Seth that I had done before I knew what he was. On the top of the dresser between the two doors was a collection of pictures in frames. I recognized my family along with the one of my father and I. Besides that was what I knew had to be Seths. I'd never seen a picture of his dad before, but it was impossible not to see the family resemblance. There was one with four of them and I picked it up, grinning at a young Seth, he had been so scrawny and adorable.
"I see you found the pictures. Esme got them out before I could stop her." I turned to see Seth walking in the room, an easy grin on his face and he stepped to me, wrapping an arm around my waist.
"You were so cute, what happened?"
"Puberty." He said and laughed. I put it back on the dresser, turning into his embrace.
"How did you go from that skinny kid to this?" I asked, letting my hands run up his biceps to his broad shoulders.
"As soon as the werewolf gene sets in there's no turning back. We usually get as big as we ever will before we phase but since I was so young I still grew a bit."
"This is something huh?" I looked around the room, out to the smaller glass sliding door on the opposite side of us, we had a little deck that was cut off from the big one.
"Have you seen the closet yet?"
"No." I grinned, pulling back from his arms and turning to the closet door. I pulled it open and stepped in, my jaw practically dropping onto the floor. It was easily three times the size of my old closet. The right, back and half of the left side where covered with two racks, one to the top and one at the middle, the remainder of the left side was a dresser which had all of my makeup and jewelry organized on top.
"Holy shit, there's no way I had this many clothes." He stepped up behind me, his hands coming to rest on my hips.
"No, I imagine Alice got a little carried away. She had her way with my wardrobe to. From what I can tell most of your clothes are on these." He touched the two longest racks on the right wall.
"Your pjs and underthings are in these drawers and mine are in the one out there." I pulled the one closest to me open, finding my socks, the one besides that had my underwear, underneath that my bras and at the bottom my pjs and sweatpants.
"Okay im kind of in love right now." I say laughing. When I look at him he's just watching me contentedly, a small easy smile on his face. I take the opportunity and wrap my arms around him and lean up on my toes, pressing my lips to his. When I pulled back he was grinning, looking at me like I was the single most amazing thing in the world.
"Come on." I grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the room, finding Esme and Bella in the living room with Ness and Jake.
"Its perfect Esme, thank you so much." She smiles happily, reaching for my hand. Her cold skin doesn't bother me, not in any way to make me fear her at least, she was the gentlest woman I knew.
"Im so glad you guys like it. I made you dinner for tonight, It's in the fridge so whenever you're ready pop it in the oven for about an hour at 375. Where going to go and let you guys settle in." Ness hugged them all goodbye, and then the front door closed behind them.
"Im gonna go change." Ness said, giving me a smile and turning around. Jake's face lights up and he follows her into their bedroom.
"Oh great." Seth said. He pulled me back into our room and closed the door, switching on the radio that was on the dresser, so music played. I just laughed at him and went towards the closet. I went through the drawers, looking for a pair of leggings.
"What are you doing?" He asked, leaning against the door frame.
"Looking for pants to change." I finally found them folded beside my sweatpants and grabbed a pair.
I yanked my shirt out of my skirt and started to unbutton it, I always wore a tank top underneath but when I glanced up he was gone, having silently disappeared. I tossed the rest of my uniform on the ground and pulled on my leggings then wandered back into the bedroom. There was a dark grey area rug set under the bed, the carpet plush under my feet and I crawled on top of the big bed as he came back into the room, my backpack in his hand and his hair wet.
"Thanks, I forgot that was out there." He kicked the door closed and set it beside the desk, shaking his hair out.
"Your welcome." He grinned, then toed his sneakers off and stalked over to me, joining me on the bed. He turned on his side to face me, laying his arm over my waist.
"How was your day?" I frowned at that, thinking back to the lunchroom.
"What?"
"We had some trouble at lunch with Brad's friends, but it wasn't a big deal." I shrugged, I wasn't worried about their stupid egos or there threats, but I knew how protective Seth was.
"If they keep harassing you were going to do something about it." His hand tightened on my waist, the anger just below the surface. I pulled myself closer to him and he wrapped both arms around me.
"Don't worry about them, there just talking out of there ass." He didn't look like he believed that at all, but I was over it.
"How was your day?"
"It was fine, we helped move in some things, not that there was much to do left and then I called my family and went for a run."
"Have you told them about us..?" I asked hesitantly. I knew he had mentioned that his brothers understood why he was staying but he hadn't said anything about his mom and sister.
"Of course, I told mom that same weekend and leah a couple days later. Moms over the moon for me, she already can't wait to meet you. I had to have her send over the rest of my stuff." That had my stomach flipping with nervous butterflies.
"What about your sister?" He hesitated a bit, his eyes softening.
"Leahs happy for me...but she struggles with that whole imprinting thing.." He said, choosing his words carefully. My curiosity burned with questions, I was naturally a noisy person or so I've been told but it didn't seem fair to push this when I hadn't even met her.
"Oh." I said, trying to stamp it down. It must not have worked cause he gave me a little knowing smile and kept talking.
"She was in love with Sam, back when they were just teenagers and normal. Sam was the first to change and after he met Emily for the first time everything changed." My brows knit together as I tried understand.
He had told me some of his brother's names during the past two weeks and I knew that Sam had been the leader back then. I listened quietly while he delved deeper into the story, laying it out so everything fit into pieces. Leah had loved Sam, a human normal kind of love, but the change he went through wasn't human, and on the other side of it was his imprint, his soul mate but leah was left, her heart broken and alone. I felt her pain, how hard that must have been when she phased also and was trapped with her mind on display. I couldn't fathom staying there the way she did for so long, I would have run as far as I could, done everything to gain control so I didn't have to be there in that situation.
Seth had told me once that his mom was the strongest woman he had ever known but I couldn't imagine the strength it had taken leah to sit there and have to watch it all unfold. I was speechless by the end of it all, even if leah had finally gotten away and gained enough control so she didn't have to turn. I knew there was happiness for her know, she had gone to school and found someone she loved again.
"Is that why you never dated?" I asked softly, my head now resting on his chest and his arms where around me.
"Mostly yeah, I got asked once and a while but most of us saw what happened firsthand and I didn't want to chance doing that to someone but…also I was selfish." He actually sounded a little guilty when he said that, and I peered up at him confused by it. He saw my expression and smiled at me, his hand running up and down my back smoothly.
"I saw it happen again and again, my brothers imprinted, and they found something more than just human love. They found there soulmates and I guess after that it didn't feel like enough for me. I wanted that big forever kind of love, and I didn't want to settle." I felt like my chest weighed a million pounds, he wanted that but got stuck with me instead. I wanted to cry and laugh, and yell cause it seemed like some twisted joke. Here you go Ally, here's a perfect man for you but you'll never be good enough for him. His hand cupped my face, his thumb smoothing over my cheek.
"What's wrong." He asked quietly, his eyes watching my face perceptibly. My nose scrunched up, knowing what he would think.
"You won't like it." His eyes narrowed a bit, his face already getting defensive. Not for himself but for me.
"I still want to know." He said, his hand still holding my face.
"You waited all that time just to get stuck with me." I was right, he didn't like it. His eyes flickered through so many emotions, anger, doubt, annoyance and then he just looked…sad, which somehow felt worse.
"You don't see what I do, for me you're exactly what I wanted. I know it's different for you and you don't think I had a choice but it's not like that, it doesn't tell me who to want or love, it just allows me to really see you when you were finally in my path. I consider myself beyond lucky to have found you, whether or not you agree with that."
I didn't and he knew that I thought that, wasn't the least bit surprised that I would feel that way but didn't care none the less. He didn't let my pessimism or insecurities touch his feelings for me and I was grateful he felt so sure of himself. I wasn't stupid, I didn't want to push him away, I wished I could feel more secure in my feelings for him the way he was. I wished I knew why everything felt so unsure.
"How do you do it." He scooted down the bed and laid on his side facing me, his hand sliding back into my hair.
"Do what sweetheart." He asked softly. I had to swallow and force myself to say what I was thinking.
"Trust. In your feelings, in this, in any of it. I feel like im going to wake up and find it all gone."
"Sometimes when I wake up I can't believe it, the whole thing feels like a dream but then I feel you in my arms or remember the previous day with you and I feel so happy. I have to trust in that, in the way I feel about you, without that there's nothing else for me." I frowned at that thought, I didn't like the idea of him being unhappy no matter the circumstances.
"If you can't trust it for yourself then trust me. I don't want to be anywhere but here and im not leaving you Ally, I promise." It was all I had, his word. I knew it had to be enough, there were no guarantees in life, and he had already given me the biggest one he had to offer. For him imprinting was final and he was okay with that, he was happy.
"I believe you." I said through my tight throat. He pulled my face to his, kissing me gently. I never thought you could kiss someone or be kissed like this, he was so tender but still passionate, his mouth soft but insistent on mine, how was it possible to both want to cry from the sweetness will simultaneously wanting to press my body to his and feel more of him. I was turning into a sap. When he pulled back he was grinning, his eyes sparkling.
"I wanted to ask you something, but I got distracted."
"You're telling me. It should be illegal to kiss someone that way." He laughed at that, his head titling back slightly.
"Good to know im not completely useless." I rolled my eyes at him but didn't respond, he didn't need to know how exactly wrong that statement was.
"I just want to make sure that you're okay with all of this." He cast his eyes around the room, looking at the way our things were cohesively placed.
"You don't have to share the room with me, im really okay on the coach if that's what you want." He really was very sweet, even if I didn't always deserve it. I knew this was one of those things I had to force myself to say, Ness was right this morning, and I couldn't expect him to know how I felt or what I was thinking.
"I was a little…unsure at first but…honestly I like having you here and even it was officially my room you'd still end up in bed with me so what's the point in pretending." My cheeks flushed a little as the words came out, I never was one for finesse. I usually talked first and thought later but he didn't seem to care.
"Okay." He smiled then looked towards the door as my alarm started going off. He climbed out of bed and went over to my bag, pulling out my phone and wallet and bringing both to me. I shut off the alarm and left my phone on my nightstand before I took my pills out of my wallet and took one.
We went out to the kitchen soon after, sitting at the table with Ness and Jake while the lasagna Esme had prepared for us cooked in the oven. It got a bit tense when Ness mentioned something about lunch, but she glanced at me and rolled her eyes, and I knew she worried as little as I did about it. The food was amazing, Esme was a wonderful cook and I wondered how we would all manage to keep each other fed. As much as my mom had slipped into herself after my dad died she had always made sure that we had everything we needed, including dinner.
"I say the oldest has to cook." I grinned at Jake.
"We'll be eating a lot of spaghetti then."
"I can cook." We all looked to Seth, surprised at the admission.
"Really?" I said.
"Yeah, I use to cook with my mom." Seth said, shrugging.
"Guess what kid, that makes you in charge of dinner." Jake said, clapping Seth on the shoulder.
"Are you going to your moms tomorrow?" Ness asked. I felt a little sadness creep into me but tried to push it away for later.
"Yeah, first thing in the morning…assuming someone lets me borrow there car?" I say as we clean up and put the dishes in the dishwasher.
"Im going with you." Seth said, his brows pulling together in a frown. Jake takes Nessie's hand and I wave as they disappear into their room. I take Seth's, leading him into ours and close the door.
"What's wrong?" I asked, turning around to face him. I let my thumb smooth over that crease on his forehead. His hands land on my waist, and he continues to look upset.
"You don't honestly think I was going to let you go tomorrow and deal with that on your own?"
"I didn't really think of it, I just figured I would. It's going to be…hard for me to watch them leave." I melted into him as he pulled me closer, resting against his muscled chest.
"Exactly, im not letting you go through that alone. Thats part of being in a relationship Ally, leaning on each other during the hard times." His tone was soft but firm as he stared down into my eyes, making sure I was really hearing him. He was right of course, and it unfairly irked me.
"You know it's annoying that your always right." I said, rolling my eyes at him then leaning up and kissed him. I meant it to be short, but he tightened his arms around my back, squeezing my body to his and deepened the kiss so by time he pulled back my brain was muddled and I was distracted.
"Still annoyed at me?" He asked, smirking.
"Yes." I said, looping my arms around his neck and leaning up on my toes.
I pressed my mouth back to his, felt the smile slip from his lips when my tongue traced his soft skin. His mouth opened to mine and his tongue stroked into my mouth. I heard the softest groan come from him and he leaned down, his hands reaching for the outside of my thighs right above my knees and he hauled me up, holding my weight as I felt him backup and then sit on the edge of the bed. He positioned my legs on the sides of his lap, his hands sliding to my lower back, and I had to tear my mouth from his so I could breath. My chest heaved as I gulped in deep breaths and it didn't help at all when his mouth just moved to my neck, starting at the tender spot behind my ear and slowly working down. I leaned my head back, letting him have his way with my body and sighed at his warm breath caressing my skin.
"What about now?" He asked, his voice low and slow, the sensual sound lighting that fire in me.
"Huh?" I heard myself say, barely registering what he said.
"Am I still annoying you?" His mouth grazed over my collarbone then up the other side, his wet tongue darting out occasionally.
"God no. That feels amazing." Like usual I said way to much of what I was thinking, but it's not like it matters. His chest rumbled with a low growl and his hands slid down to my ass, massaging gently and I moaned quietly. That was when he paused, his hands stilling slightly, and I felt my face flush. He came back and pressed a sweet kiss to my lips, and I understood without an explanation. I loosened my grip on him, telling my body to chill out.
"Im gonna hop in the shower. You need anything?" Yes, I needed that aching feeling to go away, needed him to sooth it.
"Nope." I moved over to one side, watching as he got up and moved over to his dresser, pulling out his pjs pants and then disappeared into the bathroom.
I changed in the closet, pulling on shorts and a t shirt and then crawled into bed after turning off the lights. I waited, trying to keep my mind off of him but failing miserably. A random memory popped into my head, a conversation with Ness sometime before Christmas. Her complaints about how Jake would get her all hot and bothered and then disappear into the shower, she really hadn't realized why until I had made the comment about him relieving himself. I really did try not to wonder what he could be doing in there, if he came out and saw my red face he would demand I tell him why. I tried to calm it, even if he was it didn't matter, it's not like I had never done it. Hell he knew for a fact I did, which got me thinking back to yesterday and I moved over to my nightstand, pulling open the top draw. One of my sketch books and a bunch of pencils where in there along with a charger for my phone. I yanked open the bottom one and found two items. My vibrator and a brand-new pack of batteries. I actually laughed out loud before closing the drawer again, just in time for him to come out of the bathroom.
"What's funny?" He asked. My laugher died as I glanced at him, my eyes taking in his bare damp chest, the way his black hair hung just a tiny bit shaggy over his forehead.
"Batteries." I said, leaning back in bed. He looked confused momentarily but then his eyes flicked to the nightstand, and he laughed also.
"Didn't want you to run out, that just seems like a cruel joke." He grinned, coming around to his side of the bed.
"It's not like I could anyways, everybody would know." That thought just dawned on me. Everybody in the house would be able to hear it with their stupid super hearing, and I was sharing the room with Seth, it wasn't like I could exactly kick him out to take off the edge.
"So, they won't bother listening and I wouldn't stop you." He said, sliding into bed beside me, his eyes sparkling with mischief. I crossed my arms over my chest, thinking of how we ended up with this weird ass conversation again.
"Oh and when exactly would I do that, with you sleeping besides me?" I raised an eyebrow, giving him a look that clearly says he's on crack.
"Point taken." He frowned, turning onto his side, and facing me. His expression made me curious though.
"What would you do?" I asked quietly, genuinely curious how he would respond.
"Honestly, I would probably leave." That made me frown and I copied his position, my tone unhappy when I asked.
"Why?" He eyed me for a moment, his expression odd. He looked almost guilty or ashamed?
"If I woke up and you were doing that…well I wouldn't be able to just sit there...so I'd probably have to leave." He said, looking upset at himself. I wasn't mad in the least, oh no, how could I be? I blushed but made myself ask my question, if I was being exposed right now so would he.
"Do you?" He gave me a crooked boyish smile, his white teeth bright in the dark moonlight.
"Course I do, how can I not when I've been sleeping next to you." I smile at his admission and press further.
"Did you tonight?"
"Yes." He said easily, then frowned a little.
"Although it doesn't seem fair now given the previous conversation." Cause it was easier for him to do that quickly in the shower then for me, but I wasn't upset over it. Not at all, I was simply trying to get my mind to stop picturing him naked in the shower.
"Im not upset." I said, giving him a smile. Honestly I don't know how long he expected us to sleep like this and not get carried away. I knew why it mattered that we waited but it was already more than just physical between us. I decided that was a train of thought for a different day and turned over to my other side. I grinned when his arm quickly wrapped around me and pulled me back against his chest. He slid his left arm under my head by my pillow and I scooted closer to him, molding my body into his as he pulled the blankets around us and tucked his hand under my side by my ribs.
I absolutely basked in the way his strong body gently held mine but still felt like a sturdy wall of protection. I was invincible here, tucked into him so completely that I felt him from the top of my back down to my feet at his ankles. He was so safe, so protective and made my aching, broken self sigh in relief. With him, like this I could just be. I didn't have to be snarky or sarcastic, I didn't have to carefully skirt those huge walls I had put up, the very same ones that seemed to crumple in his presence. It was the same reason I had let Ness in, hadn't been able to keep her at arm's length and now loved her like a sister.
"Seth?" I heard myself say, wishing I could somehow convey what I was feeling but I knew I didn't have words for it, not ones that would be good enough.
"Yeah princess?" He said quietly, his voice soft with sleep.
"I...thank you...for being here, for...making me see that I wanted this...that I needed you.." It wasn't enough, it really wasn't but it was all I had for right now. His big body shifted, raising slightly and his hand moved to my chin, turning my face so it was level with his. His face really was beautiful, his eyes so expressive. He leaned down and kissed me softly, that same tender but passionate kind from earlier and then pulled back. He looked like he wanted to say so much, but finally his lips turned up in a smile and he said.
"You're welcome."