I waited impatiently in Bella's bedroom as she finished her nightly routine in the bathroom. I had 'dinner' with Bella and Charlie tonight, then watched some mindless sitcom till eight where I said goodnight to my fiancé and kissed her on the doorstep. I drove home, showered and changed, grabbed the bag of things I needed and raced back to her. All day I had been unable to get her off my mind, and while that was not new our day in the meadow yesterday had been heavenly. The image of her in that blue underwear set had been haunting me all dam day, she was breathtaking and even though the wedding was three days away it felt like to long. Of course it would take many hours for us to finally arrive at the island afterward.
I heard the water from her shower cut off, my eagerness ratcheting up another decimal as I listened to her getting dressed. I should be giving her privacy, but I was desperate to be in every part of her life that could not make myself not listen. Thankfully she returned shortly, walking back into her room and closing the door behind her. Her cheeks were flushed with color, her clothes balled into a pile in her arms. She dumped them into her laundry basket and grabbed her brush from her desk.
"I was looking everywhere for this." She says, annoyed and starts pulling it through her long thick hair. The sound of the bristles tearing through her hair has me cringing and I reach forward and pluck it out of her hand.
"Here love, let me do that." I shift further onto her bed and pat the space between my legs. She does not argue but comes to sit in front of me. I sweep her hair from her shoulders and start to gently brush the ends.
"So I have an idea for tonight. If you are willing?" The jump in her pulse has me smiling faintly.
"What's that?" She asks, her tone collected. Her thumping heart is the only thing to give away her eagerness at my words. I continue my brushing, her hair tangle free now.
"Well, I got the idea from our meadow actually. If you are okay with it, I thought I could give you a massage." I heard her breath pause and her heart take off faster. I set the brush aside and swept her hair onto one shoulder, then wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her back into me. I pressed a kiss upon her almost bare shoulder, she had worn the blue pajama set to bed tonight. I both loved and hated this set. It clung to her body in the most enticing way, emphasizing her sweet delicate curves, and showed so much of her skin, while simultaneously not showing enough.
"Bella?" She had yet to respond to my request and I worried that I had perhaps crossed a line, though I could not fathom what line.
"If you are not comfortable that's quite alright love." I tried to reassure her. She turned her head to the side and wrapped an arm on top of mine.
"No it's not that. That sounds wonderful actually." Her voice was soft and honest. I pressed a soft kiss to her cheek, unable to keep from feeling her skin.
"I need you to tell me if I press to hard. I am use to touching you with a more gentle pressure, I am not sure how firm I can be without hurting you." She twisted her face more in my direction, her deep chocolate eyes finding mine. I raised a hand to her delicate cheek, cupping her face and sweeping my thumb along her cheekbone.
"Your so dam beautiful." I said, still in awe of her every single day. In a hundred years I would still look at her the way I did right now, I was sure of it. Her cheeks flushed and she smiled slightly.
"Ill tell you." It took me a moment to remember my previous statement. I gave her a grateful smile and kissed her only once before I let go.
"Take your shirt off and lay down." I whispered, grinning when her mouth popped open slightly at my words. I knew how sexual they sounded, I had teased her on purpose.
I eased away from her, reaching over to the side of the bed for the small bag of supplies I had. When I looked back she hadn't moved, a shocked expression still on her face. I chuckled, funny how those were the words that had stunned her. I untied the bag, taking out the bottle of warming massage lotion, a hand towel and a lavender candle and placing it on her nightstand. I heard and felt the bed shift then and I glanced towards her. She eyed the supplies and moved further onto the bed. I slid off and turned around, facing the window to give her privacy but listening to the sound of silk sliding over her skin.
"Okay." She said softly.
I turned, preparing myself for the sight of her. No preparation could be enough though, not when she was spread out on her stomach, her top off, her back bare to the moonlight. Her arms are tucked under her head, exposing the side of her breast. Taking a deep, unnecessary breath I raced around her room at vampire speed, shutting off the light and lighting the candle. I cracked the window so Charlie would not get suspicious if he smelt it and then knelt along side her body. I heard her take a deep, shaky breath and smiled. Building up my courage I grabbed the bottle and carefully straddled her legs, keeping my hips up and away from her so she did not feel my erection. I tuned in to Charlie downstairs, gauging whether or not he would be checking on her tonight. He had fallen asleep in front of the tv, so I had some time.
Then I fully looked at her, letting a hundred percent of my concentration be taken up by my Bella and her pale, naked skin. My eyes swept across her shoulders, down the tiny ridges of her spine, to the slight dip of her waist. She had two small dimples in her lower back, just above the swell of her butt, something I had only realized yesterday. Following my impulses I left the bottle on the bed and placed my thumbs into the small indentations, then leaned forward and allowed my lips to graze her spine. Her breath caught, her heart fluttering like a bird. I let her feel my grin against her skin, kissing up her spine until my lips were near her ear.
"I never knew you had back dimples, I find them oddly…enticing." I confessed. She buried her face into her arms and laughed softly.
"Only you would find that attractive." She retorts.
I merely shrug and pull back, already distracted from my task. I grab the bottle and pour a small amount into my hands, rubbing it between my fingers to warm it up. The oils wont absorb into my skin but I am hoping it will help to not freeze her out completely. I start low on her back, letting my hands sit flush to her skin and rotating my thumbs gently into her. There were a couple occasions when I had rubbed her lower back for her, Bella often got back cramps when she had her period, but nothing about that had ever been this sensual.
Now with the lights low and the candle, it was very sensual, which was what I had been going for. I wanted to expand our physical intimacy without physically going any further then we had. As much as I wanted her I still felt like there were certain things only a wife and husband should do, and we had just about covered what was possible without crossing those lines. I was okay with our kisses, and both Bella and I feeling more of the other either over clothes or above the belt. So I was going to work on creating that comfortable familiarity so when our wedding night came we could hopefully skip past that awkwardness that Bella swore was impossible to not have.
"How is my pressure?" I ask quietly, not willing to break the atmosphere. I can see her eyes are closed, and she lets out a soft sound.
"Mmm, it's good. You can push a little harder." I adjust my hands, my fingers skimming her sides and my thumbs working her muscles. She lets out a quite moan in response and I grin.
"I guess there's more than one way to get that sound from your lips." She lets out a slight laugh, but I can see the pink creep up her face.
"Stop that."
"Stop what?" I ask, feigning ignorance.
"You know what. You say those things knowing it will make me blush." As I work higher up her back I let my fingers graze the sides of her breasts, hungry to feel more of her skin.
"I don't say it to make you blush, that is just a happy result. I say it because for too long I was unable to say it and now that you have released the beast from its cage it does not want to play nice." I tried to keep my tone light and playful, but I had not been lying. Ever since her proposal to push our boundaries I felt insatiable with my need for her.
"Well then please go on." She says, her cheek pulling up in a small smile. Once I am done with her upper back I gently pull her arm free, laying it down by her side and staring on her bicep.
"You have set a part of me free Bella. I do not think I would have confessed some of my thoughts to you were it not for your idea to practice. I find that im eternally grateful." I work down her arm, until I am massaging her palm and fingers. She lets out another soft moan, ratcheting up the desire in my body.
"I can't take full credit, remember?" I let her arm free, moving on to the next. She switches her head onto her already massaged arm and I begin again.
"It may have not been your idea, but it was you who brought up the idea, even when you were scared of being rejected and afraid that I was only willing to try to please you. I cannot fathom the courage it took Bella. Im in constant awe of you."
"You give me way to much credit." I ignored her dismissal, finishing her hand and releasing it. I shifted my body down, moving my knee in between hers and nudging her legs further apart so I could kneel between them. The sigh before me was her plump behind, covered in that silky blue. I breathed deeply and was assaulted by that sweet, musky scent of her desire.
"Are you enjoying yourself Bella?" I asked, unable to stop myself. I slid my hand under her left knee, bringing it out further so her thighs are spread apart. I applied more lotions to my hands and started on her right foot.
"I'm pretty sure you can tell if I am or not." She said breathlessly. I smiled at that, thinking about how badly I wished to taste that desire.
"Oh I can tell angel." I confirmed. Her pulse jumped again and I glanced up, but her face was buried in her arms again.
"Do I want to know how?"
"Probably not." I said, repressing a smile. My hands slowly worked up the back of her thighs, my fingers messaging in swirling motions.
"Just tell me." She groaned.
"Besides your heart rate and pulse? I can smell your desire." My fingers worked higher as I spoke, dancing along the edge of her sleep shorts. Teasing us both my left hand slid further in between her thighs, less than an inch separating this most secret place from my hand. The heat that radiated from her was intoxicating.
"Is it really that noticeable? How often could you tell?" Regretfully I pulled away and moved onto her next foot.
"It is only noticeable to a vampire Bella, a normal man would not be able to smell it. As for how often, I am not sure. Sometimes it was just a slight scent, and I was not really sure what it was, I knew for sure a couple months ago."
"Is it...bad? Or like gross?" She asked, sounding worried. I paused on her ankle, wondering how much to reveal. I resumed, resigning myself to the full truth, it had done so much good recently.
"Bella, its intoxicating to me. Every time I smell you aroused I want to get as close as I possibly can and taste you. I want to know what you will feel like on my tongue." I had not meant to go quite that far, but I did not regret it, especially not when that scent grew heavier and I knew it was because of my words.
"Jesus." She said softly, the sound both incredulous and wanting.
"Would you like that Bella?" I slowed my hands even further, not ready to move from this spot.
"Do I have to answer that?" I smiled at her words, already knowing her answer.
"Yes."
"Yes. I would." She said, letting out a loud exhale.
"I wish it were possible for us right now."
"I wish anything were possible right now, your literally going to kill me." She groaned into the pillow, her heart hammering in her chest as my hands worked her upper thigh.
"If you need a…release, I can leave you be for a while." I told her, unable to keep my brain from conjuring the sight of her slipping her small hand down her body and under her shorts. Her pinks flamed a deep pink again, which had my curiosity peeking. Removing my hands from her leg I whipped them clean and then I eased forward, placing my palms open against the mattress beside her head, my body hovering above hers.
"T-that's okay." She stammered, heart fluttering wildly. Was it nerves or excitement?
"What is it Bella?" I asked, lowering my head to kiss her shoulder. Her lips pressed tightly together, reluctant to tell me. I trailed my lips slowly across her back, leaving gentle, sensual kisses in my wake.
"What are you keeping from me?" I whispered, moving slowly down her spine. I moved my left hand to the mattress beside her waist and slid my right under her stomach, my palm up and trapped between her silky bare skin and the bed.
"I don't want to tell you. It's embarrassing." She whispered. I pulled her body up slightly as I moved lower, pressing kisses to those enticing little dimples.
"You do not ever have to be embarrassed with me Bella." Unable to resist, my tongue darted out and pressed into the indentations, tasting her. Past the oil taste was her unique fragrance and I heard a groan rumble in my chest. Her breaths came out in small, uneven pants, the smell of her arousal growing headier in the air.
"One day soon, I will know exactly what you sound and look like when you are overcome with pleasure. There is nothing more personal than that Bella, if you allow me to witness you at your most vulnerable then you should be able to tell me whatever this is." I slowly moved back up her back, unwilling to end this even though I knew we needed to. I was too close to the edge of doing something I should not, my hand only inches from her bare breast. My fingers twitched, and I pulled my hand away, placing it on the mattress again.
"I couldn't make myself…you know…" Her voice trailed off, her cheeks getting brighter. I remembered the morning I had kissed her knuckles, intending a sweet gesture and had been metaphorically knocked in the back of the head with her concentrated scent of desire. Then her words sank in and I felt so many different emotions rocketing through me, the biggest was despair. Not for me but for my Bella, laying in bed every night with me, pushing our boundaries and unable to get relief from the building desire.
"Say something." She whispered. I moved to her side, turning my body to hers and wrapping my arm around her. I very carefully maneuvered her body so she was pressed to my chest, her top still in between my shirt and her bare breasts, her hips flushed to mine so she could feel my erection.
"You couldn't bring yourself to an orgasm?" I asked to clarify. There was a voice in my brain demanding to ask her if I could do it. I ignored this voice. She blushed gain but her eyes did not stray from mine.
"No. I tried but I just…" She shrugged, her embarrassment showing. I was not entirely surprised by her revelation, there was a huge population of females that could not find completion without constant stimulation to their clitoris, on top of that was another handful of women that needed more than what their own fingers could provide. I had overheard many women think about how the only way they could finish was with their vibrators.
"I wish you would have told me sooner, I could have helped." I said, leaning in close to her face and brushing my lips over hers. "That's normal Bella, some women simply need more stimulation then they can give."
"How would you have helped?" She asked, her voice still soft and embarrassed.
"I could have bought you what you needed. I still can." She looked deep into my eyes, her hands coming up to hold my stone face.
"That's okay, I only have to wait another couple of days." Her small smile fell suddenly. I brushed my fingers over her lips, wanting her smile back.
"What is it?" Her lips pursed for a moment before she spoke, her cheeks blushing again.
"What if that's a problem? What if there's something wrong with me and I cant…you know…when we're together?" Though her fear I was sure was unfounded, I could tell it was a worry for her. I pushed her backwards gently and slid between her thighs, lowering my body so it was firmly pressed into hers. I held myself by one elbow, my free hand pulling her thigh up to my hip.
"Bella I assure you there is nothing wrong with your body, you are always so responsive for me."
"Maybe but we've never tried anything like that. You can't know." I shook my head at her dismissal, remembering suddenly that she was still not wearing her top.
"Put your shirt on please." I said through clenched teeth. I pulled back only enough to give her room to move her arms and closed my eyes. She quickly pulled it on and once she stopped moving my eyes opened and I moved back in, invading all her personal space.
"Bella I do know, even if you find it more difficult than the average woman it does not matter, I am not an average man. My senses and speed give me a far bigger advantage then any toy." She nodded slightly but I could tell this still worried her. She would not argue it with me, but these thoughts would linger in her mind until I proved her wrong. I wondered if there was any way I could ease her worries now, but those all crossed into lines that we could not cross. Technically I could help her without truly feeling her, if I kept my hand on the outside of her shorts. That seemed like a fine line to walk however. Another idea crossed my mind then, it would be harder in some ways, but I could give her what she needed and keep my hands from the temptation of her slick desire and heat. I leaned down, brushing my lips against her ear.
"I can prove it I think." I ease my body lower, settling the thick length of my erection in between her legs. "If you are willing." Her hands move to my sides, and she moans softly.
"Are you sure?" Her desire to not push past my moral beliefs fills me with love for this incredible sweet girl. I lean down and gently kiss her, her mouth soft and pliable on mine.
"I am sure." I say, pulling back. "But only if you are okay with it." She nods her head and hums when I shift against her.
"What are you gonna do?" She whispers, hands coming up to twist into my hair. I switch my weight to my other hand and pull her other thigh around my hip, opening her legs further so I can rest against her. Her breath catches and I lean down, kissing her warm mouth and very carefully rock my hips against her. I focus on the small moan she lets out and not the divine pleasure that shoots down my spine.
"You'll see Bella, just relax and let me take care of you." I whisper the words against her mouth, hoping and praying I could do it. Could I have enough control to grind against her and not lose my head? I supposed it was much like everything else, practice.
I create a steady rocking motion, my hips never leaving hers and I kiss her deeply, trying to pull her attention out of her head and into the moment. After a couple of minutes I feel her body start to cave into my motions, her legs widening further and her hips moving along with mine. I carefully grab her thigh and roll us so she is on top, not letting her mouth go. I don't want her to feel self conscious so I quickly try to distract her, sliding one hand up to her rear and rocking her forward. She lets out a deeper, throatier moan then before and it fuels the fire in me, turning me into an inferno. I lock down my impulses for more, telling myself again that this is strictly for Bella. She needed this, I could fix myself later.
I let my free hand travel her body, cupping her left breast and brushing my thumb over her erect nipple. She lets out a soft whimper and I guide her to move faster, my hand on her hip. She follows my cue, rocking against my hard length with firmer, more confident movements. Her mouth pulls from mine, but she does not pull back, breathing heavily in the space our faces share. I gently move my fingers against her breast, rolling her nipple between my thumb and forefinger. The small, strangled sound she lets out tells me I am on the right path. I trail my lips to her neck, leaving soft, slow kisses and continue to roll her nipple between my fingers. Her hips move faster on their own now, her breath coming out in desperate pants.
"Edward I ca-" I cut her off with a kiss, refusing to accept her words. She could if she just let go of her worries and trusted me.
"You can Bella. Stop worrying and just feel. Take your pleasure from my body, I want you to. I need you to." The words rushed from my mouth before I could truly think on them, and I could only hope I did not say anything to offend her. I pull her lips back to mine, slipping my tongue into her mouth and stroking it along her own. I kept stimulating her nipple, keeping her hips at a steady quick motion, knowing that constant movements were what she most likely needed. Her mouth was hungry on mine, but she did not try to push into my mouth, keeping enough sense. Fifty seconds later and I could tell she was close, her pulse pounding in her body, her scent more desire then anything, her hips pushing harder into my own and her hands tightened so hard in my hair if I were human it would hurt. I let her lips free, wanting to hear her when she let go but keeping my face close to hers, knowing my staring would make her uncomfortable.
"That's it Bella, let go for me." She let out a tiny gasp at my words and then she did just that. Her hips grinding into mine with force and she buried her face into my neck, letting out a low cry of pleasure. I groaned as she came, feeling the way her lower lips pulsated against my dick through my jeans. The only thing that kept me from my own orgasm was the will I had on my body and the embarrassment I would feel if I came in my pants. Slowly her body relaxed on top of mine, her heartbeat slowing but she did not move from her hiding spot in my neck, and the sudden heat told me she was blushing again. I moved both hands to her back, stroking it gently and then wrapped my arms around her in a hug.
"I told you there was nothing to be worried about." The words were for myself as much as they were for her. I had not been sure I could bring her to an orgasm without truly touching her, actually if I was being honest with myself there was some self-doubt on whether I could please her at all on our wedding night. I was joyful that it seemed like this would not be a problem.
"Are you going to stay hidden forever? Eventually I will need to see your face if I am going to marry you." I tried to coax her out of her spot, running my fingers through her hair. I heard her take a deep breath before she pulled back so I could see her beautiful face. I felt my lips pull into her favorite smile, seeing her flushed face, knowing that not only had she just had her first orgasm, but it was at my hands, or more accurately my erection, which was still rock hard in my pants.
"Thank you for allowing me the pleasure of helping you." I said sincerely, easing her from my body and tucking her close to me on the bed. I wrapped the blanket around her and then turned on my side, close enough that she would not see the dampness on the front of my jeans, it would only embarrass her further.
"I feel like I should be the one thanking you." She said quietly, letting out a small laugh. I grinned and leaned forward to kiss her once and then pulled away.
"You never have to thank me for this." I said seriously. Her eyes fell down and she blushed again. I tucked my hand under her chin, lifting until her deep chocolate orbs met with mine again.
"Im serious Bella. I know you are embarrassed but please don't be, that was the single most amazing thing I have ever witnessed. It will be the only thing I can think about until our wedding night." My hands framed her face, pulling her in for a passionate kiss. She moaned a little when I pulled away, her lips tipping up in a smile.
"It was amazing." She whispered, her eyes slowly blinking open. She moved in closer, wrapping her arm around my middle and snuggling in close. I tucked my chin on top of her head, holding her against me.
"I kind of feel bad thought."
"What on earth for?" I asked, bemused by the way her mind worked.
"Well what about you?" I laughed gently, trying not to summon the fantasy of her hand wrapped around me right now. I needed to get her to bed, then I could take care of the raging hard on I had.
"Don't worry about me Bella, I can take care of myself." I told her honestly, kissing the top of her head.
"So you have been? I know it didn't go so well before…" Her tone was timid, afraid to upset me by reminding me about my disastrous first attempt. I smoothed my hand down her chestnut hair and rested it on her butt, loving the intimate touch.
"I have been. I knew I needed to try again, it was the only way I could be sure I would not hurt you. As sure as I can be anyway." Even with all the steps we had taken it still felt like a monumental undertaking. There was so much that could go wrong, so many tiny aspects that added up to what we would be attempting in just a couple days. I forced my thoughts away from that train of thought, I could not spiral now.
"And?" She prompted. Her curiosity was my biggest complication.
"And what? If you are asking if I have destroyed any other trees, no I have not." She hummed in a way that told me she was still thinking about something.
"So do you do it every night?" I smiled at her tone, knowing now that her curiosity was fueled by her desire. To know and see me during that moment as I had just with her. I smoothed my thumb back and forth, giving her butt a little massage and let my voice drop to a whisper.
"Every night." I confirmed. "After having your scent in my head all day and your body pressed to mine all night I am helpless. All I can think about is your perfect skin and what is under these tiny silk pajamas." She did not say anything for a long moment, but her heartbeat was too fast for sleep.
"What do you think about?" I hesitated, fighting the natural response to direct her questions to somewhere else. She had just allowed me to not only witness her pleasure but bestow it upon her, I could answer her questions.
"I think of you. Your smile, your lips, your body. I close my eyes and picture us somewhere, sometimes it is our honeymoon and your touching me for the first time, sometimes…" I pushed my nerves away and force myself to continue. "Sometimes you are like me and…we can do so much more…" I could not bring myself to tell her about my fantasy of her kneeling before me, her eyes golden and taking me in her mouth.
"Tonight ill think about the sound you made as you came, imagining it was my own hand that caused that sound." Her breath cut off in a small gasp before coming out in a rush of air against my collarbone. I laughed and gave her butt a little pat before moving my hand to her back.
"But I won't leave you until your deeply asleep, so go to bed Bella."
"Yeah right, let me just fall asleep after you drop that bomb on me." I shrug and just pull her closer.
"I love you Bella."
"I love you more." I rolled my eyes but don't protest her words. I hummed her lullaby softly, listening to her pulse slow. Eventually she drifted off, taking longer than usual but soon enough she was out cold in my arms, her deep even breathing and steady heartbeat letting me know she was under for good.