••• Monday, September 23nd, 20XX •••

Did I actually hear voices last night? Or was it just Mom or Dad saying something in the other room?

Today, I tried to explain the darkness inside me, told my story to my best friend, Tuck. He said he'd help me, but I don't even know how he could. He also suggested I talk to Jazz, my sister, but I'm not exactly in the mood for that. It's all such a mess… just like my head.

It's raining again today… so, no chance of looking up at the stars from my window either. Sometimes, I wish things were still like they used to be…

Lately, it feels like I'm losing myself. Like the ground beneath me is sinking, dragging me down like quicksand.

In my dreams, I can still fly, but there's always something pulling me back down.

No matter how hard I try, I feel powerless, helpless.

There's always something weighing on me, like a heavy backpack I can never put down. No way to turn back, only the future. No, Clockwork won't take me back after that failed attempt to be a hero.

He always told me:

"I watch time, I control time. I know what happens, when it happens, in every timeline with all the other possibilities. But I can't control your own choices, Danny."

In the end…

No roses, no moonlight.

Only the darkness that clings to me, wrapping me tight.

••• Tuesday, September 24rd 20XX •••

Do you ever feel like you just want to fly? Like you could escape it all? But something always pulls you back down. Yeah, life sucks. And I… I'm just a mistake, a glitch that doesn't belong in this world.

I'm sorry.

Phantom… I miss you. I wish you were here… yeah, I still wish I could just go ghost, like you. Disappear from this world with a simple "I'm going ghost!" But it doesn't work anymore.

I've even started losing myself in my own fantasy world…

Do you know that feeling—when you just want to scream until there's nothing left, let the tears fall without caring who's watching, without caring what anyone thinks?

But I can't. I have to stay strong, keep it all hidden. I can't show weakness. I can't show that I'm powerless, that I'm losing this fight against myself… against everyone else. The weight of this pain, this suffocating pain that's clung to me since the accident—I can't bear it anymore. I can't even bear myself. The thoughts in my head, the voice that once spoke to me—Phantom.

Deep in my heart, there's regret. Regret for everything that's happened in my life, for everything I've done. Even if I know, deep down, that it wasn't all my fault. People shaped me into this… into what I am now.

Inside, I'm chaos. I wore this mask—no, I had to wear it—all the time. Is there any way back for me? Of course not.

Sometimes I think back to how things used to be, but that's exactly what makes me weak, vulnerable. So, I buried those memories, shoved them aside.

It's been so long since I actually felt good, truly alive. It's like a part of me died that day… and it's gone forever.

And trust me, you don't want to feel what I feel.

It's all about the leftovers…

Sleeping apart, separated—there's a growing distance between us.

You don't even notice it, don't see the way it leaves me hollow, sorrow sinking deep.

You don't see it, don't feel it, but it's tearing me to pieces.

I'm slipping away, because there's something missing, and you don't even seem to care.

I'm searching for an escape, drowning in guilt I shouldn't have to carry.

I'm just a mistake, a flaw. That's the weight that makes life unbearable.

The voices in my head… I let them come. I don't care anymore—because, for once, I can finally be… me.

When my sister told me to write down my thoughts, she said it would clear my mind. But it doesn't. If anything, it makes it worse. My head feels like it's about to split open.

First thought: "A song's stuck in my head, buzzing through my thoughts like an old record player stuck on repeat."

Second thought: "Phantom. Phantom. Phantom. Sam. Phantom. Phantom. Sam. Phantom. Sam."

Third thought:"I'll need money soon. Money I don't have. To live. But living… I'm barely managing that."

Fourth thought: "Let it go. You're a mistake. A freak. A failure. You're not worth it… but maybe, just maybe, I am."

Fifth thought:"I need to finish my projects… before my grades fall apart like everything else."

Random thoughts swirling around in my head—

You're fine. You're okay. Just keep smiling. I am who I am, and that's… fine. Phantom, you light up the darkness in me with your bright aura, this shadow I can't escape.

No. No. No. It's all wrong. I'm wrong. I'm not fine. I'm just an error, a mistake. I'm not even myself—I'm just the mask I wear.

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