Shock and Desire

In what had started as a typical morning routine, the sound of running footsteps pierced the quietness of the morning from along the second floor. With one paw held firmly to the hem of her maid dress, the other clutching at her chest, Tabitha made a dash for the upper floor landing handrails. Unsure what to do, she simply leaned over the railing and shouted, "Mrs. Otterton!" She took a deep breath and made a second call down below, followed by "Quickly."

Mrs. Otterton, shocked by such an outburst so early in the morning, emerged suddenly into view along the foyer, gazing up at Tabitha. With a look of bewilderment, Mrs. Otterton fixed her eyes on the young maid. "Tabitha, what on earth do you mean by shouting my name in such a manner? Are you trying to disrupt the entire household?" Moving along the room, she began to climb the stairs slowly. "You're going to wake up Ms. Hopps and Sophie if you continue to act out like that." Clutching the hem of her dress, Mrs. Otterton reached out to grasp the handrail as she continued climbing.

Unnoticed by either of the ladies, Nick, emerging from his private office, looked at the young maid. "Tabitha?" He called over to her, noticing Mrs. Otterton arrive on the landing. Looking confused, he saw Tabitha cringe as she turned to face him, not expecting to find him there. A wave of nervousness seemed to fill the area as Sophie lowered her head, followed by fear as Mrs. Otterton had not expected to see Nick there, waiting.

Sensing the moment's uneasiness, Nick felt the need to somehow de-escalate the environment by holding a comforting paw out to Tabitha. "Tabitha, please, it's alright." He shifted his gaze to Mrs. Otterton, then back to Tabitha. "Take a breath, and tell us what's happened." Nick steadied himself before continuing. "Is it Sophie? Did something happen to her that we need to know about?"

Mrs. Otterton, taking charge at that moment, turned her full attention to Nick. "Mr. Wilde, I am so sorry she interrupted you this morning. Please do not worry yourself about anything. I make sure whatever is going on is taken care of immediately.

Tabitha quickly glanced at the aged otter before answering Nick's question, not wishing to cause more trouble with Mrs. Otterton. "I'm sorry to have caused any of this, sir. But no, Sophie is still sleeping, safe and sound. What's happened pertains to Ms. Hopps, sir." She paused to catch her breath again. "She's gone, sir." Tabitha eyed Nick with a severe look. "She is not in her room or the bath. Also, her personal belongings are gone. It's as if she left sometime during the night or early morning before the staff got up.

Nick, taken entirely by surprise from hearing this, looked back at the young maid blankly. "Wait, what?" He only then leaned around Tabitha and gazed down the lonely corridor leading to the female bedrooms. "What do you mean, left? Are you sure you just haven't seen her yet this morning? He turned to Mrs. Otterton. "Have you seen Ms. Hopps downstairs or on the grounds this morning?"

Tabitha didn't wait for Mrs. Otterton to reply to this question before speaking again. "I've looked, sir. It's like I just said. I had brought up Ms. Hopp's breakfast tray, like every morning. After knocking a few times without a response, I entered her room. Something was out of place, so I walked over and looked in Sophie's room and then the washroom. It is unlike her to be too far away from Sophie at any given time." Tabitha took another moment to take a breath. "So I ran down to the servant's area and asked if anyone had seen Ms. Hopps this morning. Nobody had." Both Nick and Mrs. Otterton looked at one another. "When I came back upstairs, I rechecked her room." Tabitha continued. "That's when I noticed her wardrobe was open, and her clothes were gone, except her newer dresses. Only her old things were taken, and the personal items she kept on her vanity were missing." Without further hesitation, Nick, not saying a word, moved around Tabitha and Mrs. Otterton and made a dash down the corridor and into the female wing.

Both ladies watched Nick disappear before they began to walk along the corridor behind him. "I can't believe this. Ms. Hopps just leaving like that without telling a soul." Mrs. Otterton spoke.

"I know," Tabitha replied next to her. "I don't know what will happen to Sophie when she finds out."

A stitch burning in his side, Nick took a deep breath after arriving just outside Judy's bedroom door. His breathing still rapid, he struggled to swallow before slowly entering the half-open door. Scanning the room, Judy's white wedding dress immediately drew his attention. The elegant dress propped up on its stand; Nick placed a paw along the soft material, still remembering that sight of Judy standing by him at the altar. Closing his eyes momentarily, he turned to look around the room further. Along the floor, stacked neatly on one another, were boxes full of dresses Nick had only recently purchased. The sizeable bed before him looked as if it had been barely slept in from the prior night; he felt a few tears begin to fall along his cheek. With a quick swipe from his paw, he brushed his cheek as he slowly made his way to the room's window and stood there quietly, his paws behind his back, staring out.

After a few minutes, standing alone in the bedroom, Mrs. Otterton, followed by Tabitha, had arrived at the room. The aged otter, at first, remained quiet as she, too, took a moment and looked around the room. "Mr. Wilde? Is there anything I can do for you?" She asked softly, a few feet from where he stood.

"No, Mrs. Otterton," Nick, silent for a minute, replied to her before moving away from the window. "But thank you. If you both will excuse me, please." Nick proceeded to walk out of the room without any further word. Tabitha, who had chosen to remain by the door, moved aside as she witnessed Nick hastily pass her and back along the corridor toward the landing. A sudden change seemed to emit from him as she raised a paw out toward him before withdrawing it, a concerned look on her own face.

Nick, reaching the landing in no time, immediately began to descend the staircase, noticed now by a few of the house staff huddled together below, talking amongst themselves. The cook's assistant, a short brown beaver dressed in chef clothing, made a dash back towards the kitchen stairwell, spotting Nick. The remaining staff immediately melted away and returned to their morning work. Still not saying a word, Nick walked across the foyer, ignoring those who remained nearby, and toward the front doors, letting himself out. The cold morning air bit at him as he stepped out along the front gravelway, and at that moment, he found himself struggling to control his emotions.

Within the following moments, Greg, dressed in his footman attire, exited the front doors, a frock coat draped over his arms, as he made a chase for Nick. Having only left the living room moments before, Greg was suddenly stopped by a discouraged-looking Mrs. Otterton, nearly out of breath. Having informed her of seeing Nick leave the house, the aged otter instructed him to follow Nick immediately and ensure he did not cause any harm to himself. Reaching for Nick's coat near the front door, he made a dash out the still-open doors.

Nick, unsure where he was going or what to do, made a sudden halt before turning in a circle and gazing out at the surrounding grounds. Stepping out on the wet morning lawn leading to the manor's lush grounds, he traveled only a few feet beyond before feeling his legs give out. Nick sank to his knees with an eerie cry as the cold dew on the grass began to soak into his trousers. His body arched forward along the ground; Nick breathed the cold, crisp air into his lungs. Wiping his head back violently, his claws, gripping the earth beneath him, ripped the soil out as he cried out into the empty space, "Judy". Clumps of grass and wet earth held in his paws, he collapsed back on the ground. Having heard Nick's cry, Greg ran over to him seconds later, placing the warm frock coat over Nick's shoulders as he began to console him.

One Year Later…

As the loud chimes from the school bell began to echo throughout the small, quiet village of River Bridge, the mid-autumn weather seemed colder as of late. The sidewalks were suddenly alive with sound of laughter and talk as groups of cubs and kits of different ages walked while a others began to run along the village streets. Rising from a teacher's desk, positioned just shy of two enormous chalkboards, Judy could not stop smiling as the last of her young students wished her goodbye as the day's final lessons had finished. Judy slowly moved across her classroom and started to collect small slate boards along the rows of desks. Singing softly, she returned to her desk with a stack before singing her tune a little louder, thinking she was still alone. "Lavender'sblue, dilly, dilly, Lavender's green. If you love me, dilly, dilly, I will love you…"

"You sing very well for a simple school teacher, I must say." A male voice called to Judy from behind, causing her to jump and stop her singing.

"John!" Judy spoke, still startled by the sudden appearance of the familiar buck bunny. John Burrow, the same buck who had found her in the rain storm over a year ago, stood within the room's threshold leading to the school's main hallway. She smiled back at him before returning to her work. "Only a little, I'm afraid, but that's what all ladies are taught to say." For a moment, having not thought about much of her past these last twelve months, the sudden image of a familiar ballroom, dimly lit, seemed to return in her mind.

Standing beside one of the school desks, Judy relived the long-ago soft vibrations from a solitary violin as it played the same song she had just been singing. Her eyes closed to the sound of the violin playing in her mind. She listened as Nick's soft voice sang to her from a distance."Who told you so, dilly, dilly, who told you so? Twas my own heart, dilly, dilly that told me so." Her eyes swelled with emotion; without knowing what was happening around her, Judy let one of the small slates she held in her paw fall to the floor. Returning to the present, she hesitated momentarily before turning around and walking to the open window closer to her. Not wishing for John to see her in this state, she simply stood there and let the warm afternoon sun bathe her fur.

"Is there something wrong, Judy?" John asked, his brow raised as he noticed the sudden change in her.

"What?" Quickly wiping away a few solitary tears, Judy turned back around and walked to her desk again. "Oh, no, John, it's nothing. It's just that song seemed to remind me of..." She paused before saying, "Never mind."

"Judy, please," John took a few steps into the room. "My sister and I have never pressed you about your past; you know this. When you are ready, we know you will be able to tell us." John began to fumble with a hat he was holding in his paws. "No matter how hard your difficulties were back then, you are not alone in this world." He raised a paw in the air. "I mean, look around you. Don't let whatever past you keep a hold of affect the wonderful things you accomplish here. Your understanding and unwavering patience with the young here at this school are so unique."

"Oh, John, I wish that could be true about myself. But other mammals may still have a slightly different opinion of me." After accepting the school's teaching position, Judy recalled the first letter she had received from her uncle since writing to him about her condition and location. In the letter, her uncle mentioned some information which had been said by a particular vixen she knew.

"I would find that very hard to believe," John answered as he pulled a pocket watch from his coat pocket to check the time. "I'm sorry, but it appears I have overstayed my visit. I need to get back to the office promptly." John bowed his head to Judy and turned to leave the room. "Oh, yes, I almost forgot." John stopped and turned back. "I was hoping to ask you for a favor if you would be up to it." John continued to look back at her. "Could you perhaps inform my sisters for me that I will be late for dinner this evening?" John struggled not to grin. "It's just due to the amount of work waiting for me back in the office."

Judy laughed at this almost immediately before covering her mouth with a paw. "Of course, John, but I must remind you of the last time you were late for dinner. I cannot guarantee the same outcome." Judy returned to the task of clearing the desks. "Diana nearly had to restrain Mary from attacking you." Judy started to laugh again as she looked back at him. "But, I will do my best to break the news to them.

"Yes, Mary does seem to take after our mother we've told you so much about, doesn't she?" John, placing his hat on his head, turned to leave again. "Thank you, Judy. See you all tonight."

Thinking back on her uncle again, Judy pressed herself against the desk as she glanced about the small room. It had been some time since his last letter. Thinking, she suddenly longed for a few words of encouragement from her loving uncle. Judy felt a slight chill flood over her."How long has it been since his last letter?"She asked herself as she walked around and sat in her chair. "It's been at least two months now?" Judy answered herself back."Should I be worried?"Her mind asked back. "No, I'm sure he is simply too busy with work this time of year." Clearing her mind, she returned to her task and rose.

Later that night, all three females sat around the warm fire within the cottage house. Quietly in one of the high-backed chairs, Judy read a book she had picked up earlier that day while the other two doe's worked on their sowing. As a mantel clock began to chime above the fireplace, John suddenly greeted all three of them as he entered through the cottage door; a gust of wind on his back blew in from the chilly night.

"Oh my dears, I think a storm is brewing," John spoke as he walked swiftly to the fire to warm himself. "I feel winter is coming early this year. This chilly air seems too unnatural."

Still occupied with her sewing, Mary spoke softly yet angered. "Your cold dinner plate is in the kitchen."

"Thank you… mother." John joked to Mary, causing Diana to laugh as he walked past them to take his coat off. He then proceeded into the kitchen, reappearing minutes later, supporting a small dinner tray in his paws. He walked back over to the doe's, gently leaning in to kiss both sisters on the cheek before sitting by the fire.

"I'm so sorry for my intense tardiness." He began to roll up one of his sleeves. "Mr. Gregson is in one of his moods again. It appears he was not satisfied with the financial report I gave him on the company's expenses for next year. Even though I sat down with him just last week, we both agreed on the figures. Now, I'm tasked with reviewing the account ledgers again on top of the growing mountain of work and purchase orders." He let out a deep sigh. "The old mammal is brilliant, but age is catching up with him." John laughed at this remark before starting to eat his dinner. Noticing Judy sitting near the dining room, he called over to her as he took another bite of dinner. "What are you reading over there, Judy?"

"Oh, I found this book on the pawhili language in one of the shops today." Judy, raising her head from the book, looked back at him. "I thought I might try and learn the language a little."

"Why? You aren't thinking of leaving us, I hope?" John asked jokingly.

"I don't know. I may consider at some point seeing more of the world and the cultures across the water." Judy smirked as she returned to her reading.

"Judy, pay no attention to him and study whatever you want," Diana smiled at her friend. "Do not let him bully you. He is just trying to bate you in." She slowly yawned in her seat. "And with those last words, I think I will bid you all goodnight. Mary, remember we have an early start tomorrow." She looked at her sister as Mary tied off a thread in her needlework.

"I know, Diana; I think I will head up now also," Mary replied, carefully placing her knitting in a sewing basket beside her feet and closing it. She watched the hem of her sister's dress disappear up the small stairwell. "Goodnight, John. And please be sure to soak your dish and cup in water before you come up." Walking over to Judy, Mary gave Judy's cheek a light kiss. "Goodnight, my dear. If he continues to bully you, kick him in the knee. His right one has never been the same since he tried to frighten me when I was younger. One good hit will do." She eyed her brother warningly as she turned and walked away, disappearing up the stairs.

For nearly ten minutes, alone together, John and Judy sat quietly as the last of the fireplace embers faded. "Judy, I hope you are not upset at my earlier comment?" John asked as he dabbed a napkin across his mouth and placed his finished dinner tray to one side. "I…I was…I am sorry, Judy, but can I be candid?" John asked as he leaned on the edge of the chair. "The thing is, I don't wish to see you leave us."

"John, I'm flattered, but I... "Judy continued with her reading, her cheeks reddening a little.

"I have meant to ask you for some time now, but I noticed how busy you've been these few months at the school and here with us." John rose and moved toward her. "I was scared I might distract you. But now, I must ask you something I feel would be the greatest thing to happen to me."

"I am sorry, John, but I don't understand; what could you possibly want to ask me that would make you so nervous as you are now?" Judy looked at him in confusion.

"I want you to be my wife and live here with us, Judy," John knelt next to her as he reached for her paws.

"Wife?" Judy repeated, rising suddenly from her chair and backing away. "I..." She took a few steps and turned her back to him.

"Judy, please, since you arrived and became a part of our lives, I have thought over this matter repeatedly." John placed a single paw on her shoulder and circled to face her. "I believe you were sent to me, to us, for a reason. I feel it now, deep down. And I know you must feel it as well. Don't you see how these last year's events have taken shape for you?"

Judy listened to him, her thoughts questioning everything that had happened to her since leaving Casterly Manor."Did fate really bring me to John and his sisters after learning the truth about Nicholas? His dear sisters, who had cared for and nursed me back to health. Provided me a place and an opportunity to escape my past. To prove myself in this immense world."Judy looked into his eyes as she continued to think."He is a good mammal and would be a considerate mate to anyone. What more could any bunny want in life?"At that moment, she heard Nick's soft, warm voice once more from within her head."I stand before you, Judy, ready to offer my heart and soul. To have you love me for who I am and nothing more."

John's voice seemed to return to Judy as he began to wrap his paws around her own. "You know, deep in your heart, I am right. Here is where you truly belong, Judy." John spoke as he looked deep into her eyes.

"I'm... I'm sorry, John, but my heart…I struggle so hard to free it from..."

"Then I will help you free from it," John interrupted her. "From whatever burden that chains you." He leaned in to kiss her, but Judy moved away from him. Unmoved, he held on to her paws. "You will marry me and live here with us," John asked hesitantly, struggling to control his emotions. "Please, say yes."

"Look into my eyes, Judy, look into them, and tell me you do not love me anymore."Nick's voice called to her from within her mind, causing Judy to falter, now on the verge of tears, as she looked at John.

"I'm sorry, John, but I cannot marry you." She released her paws from John's grip with the sudden, overwhelming urge to escape. She took a step back from the now stunned buck before her. "I'm sorry," She stated again in a soft voice. "But my heart will not relinquish what it truly longs for, I know it now." Her eyes began to swell with tears. "I have fought so long and hard to let go of the past, but I just cannot. I was wrong to leave, I just…" She turned and ran up the stairs, leaving John alone by the fire, his face still in shock and disbelief.