Elphaba sighed and ran her fingers through her hair as she sat on the fountain's edge, peering glumly in. She listened to the water bubble and ripple as she contemplated her long, dark tresses while they wrapped around her bony, green fingers. As if her skin wasn't bad enough, her hair was stubborn, wild, peculiar, and inconvenient in its own way too. Unlike Nessa or Frex's thin Munchkin hair, Elphaba's was thick, coarse, woolly.
It didn't wash easily, at least not with Munchkin hair products, but Frex wasn't going to waste time or money procuring Elphaba higher-quality haircare. Just so long as it didn't look unprofessional. Pfft, what did that even mean? How could hair be "unprofessional"? College was supposed to be a fresh start for her, but it seemed that her annoying hair would follow her just as endlessly and insidiciously as her vegetable skin.
"Ha! With hair as gnarled as yours, even the Shiz groundskeepers couldn't keep up with it!" A voice behind Elphaba jeered, and her shoulders raised around her ears. "Your hair is as ratty and nasty as your personality and skin!" The little blonde had her hands on her hips, face twisted in the ugliest, smuggest, piggiest face Elphaba had ever seen, complete with pink blush and a pink dress! Like always.
"You make that observation just now, huh? I'm impressed it didn't take you even longer," Elphaba deadpanned coldly. Galinda only scoffed. Even though every other Shiz student would look away when Elphaba drew near, Galinda was never afraid to march right over and pick a fight.
"Hair like yours is as thick as you are when it comes to social situations!" Galinda continued. "The fibers are so dense and tightly-wound, also just like you!" While she snorted as if she just told the funniest joke in all of Oz, Elphaba blinked in genuine surprise.
"Wait. What?" It was obvious from Galinda's tone that she was trying to be insulting, but Elphaba was fixated on what exactly she had said.
"You heard me!" Galinda smirked, mistaking Elphaba's surprise and confusion as proof that she was winning their latest verbal altercation. "Your hair is as obstruse as you are! Always clogging shower drains and inconveniencing everyone else! That's why your hair gets so knotty, yeah? Ha! I bet the follicles are even angled to make the twist that much worse! No wonder you have that strange odor about you, hair like yours would be extremely difficult to clean! Shampoo wouldn't cling well to it because of the structure. Ha! Even your hair loathes you!"
"My hair is… tight?" Elphaba seemed to be talking more to herself than Galinda as she ran her fingers through the tresses again, distracted.
"Uhh, hey, helllooo? Trying to insult you over here!" Galinda pouted.
Elphaba continued on, as if not hearing Galinda at all. "That… makes sense…" It seemed so obvious now, but Elphaba never had anyone who ever bothered to take the time to talk it out with her. Of course she was able to intuit that her hair was different from her father and sister's, but all she knew was that the texture was coarser.
But it stands to reason that hair of a different texture might also be hair of a different structure! I guess it's just never something I gave that type of thought to… She lamented her strange, annoying hair every time she had to wash it, but she never thought of considering the scientific side of it before. And it embarrasses me to think that! I'm studying Life Sciences!
"Your hair is more porous, which means your head is as empty as your brain is small and tight!" Galinda continued, trying to egg Elphaba on, and getting the green girl focused back on her and not her stupid, wavy, dark hair. "You'd need something heavier to work on you! Actually, no, wait, scratch that. Nothing would ever work on you because your hair is so fragile that it would snap like sticks if you used even normal shampoo! You'd want something actually capable of reaching your roots, but I doubt your hair could hold out! You've got more than a bad hair day, it's a bad hair life!" She gave a bragging toss-toss of her own gold curls while Elphaba remained lost in thought.
Gilikin hair. Like Munchkin hair, it is thin and fine, though even Munchkin hair is coarser than Gilikin. Quadling is very wavy while Vinkin is frizzy, like mine, but also not quite… Indeed, Elphaba's hair was frizzier and coarser than the average Munchkin or Gilikin, but not quite so much as someone from the Vinkus.
Galinda eventually stormed off when Elphaba failed to give her the reaction she wanted, but Elphaba was still too busy thinking to even notice.
ooo
"So, Elphie, now that we're friends, will you finally listen to me?" Galinda wrapped her arms around her roommate from behind as they sat on Galinda's fluffy, sparkly, pink bed. Elphaba sat with her legs over the side, upright, while Galinda knelt behind her, grinning.
"I don't have much of a choice, do I?"
"What I was saying before about your hair!"
"My hair?"
"Oh, Elphie, don't you remember?"
"Obviously not."
With a huff, Galinda reminded her of that day. After a moment, Elphaba's eyes widened in remembrance.
"Oh yes! When you thought attacking my hair would have the same outcome as attacking my skin!"
"And you ignored me the entire time! How would you know how well I did or didn't do?" Galinda crossed her arms and pouted, and Elphaba couldn't help but laugh.
"I don't think me ignoring your attempts to bully me is something you should get mad at, at least not for the reasons you're probably upset."
"Sorry…" Galinda muttered a moment later. It was obvious she hated apologizing, but Elphaba had a point.
"How and why did you say all that about my hair anyway?" Elphaba asked quickly. She hadn't actually meant to make Galinda apologize. Her green skin prickled at the awkwardness.
"Oh, yeah, right!" Galinda seemed to forget about it quickly. "Well, it's just… true…" Suddenly she looked almost shy, embarrassed, perhaps finally recognizing just how often she thought about her roommate's hair… "I've never seen anything like it before…"
"Yeah, I get that a lot." Elphaba smirked.
"I don't mean it as an insult!" Galinda pouted. "Not this time, at least." She was offended Elphaba mistrusted her. They were friends now, weren't they? Even more, Galinda was just as right then as she was now. She had an eye for hair! Whether Elphaba wanted to admit it was a skill or not. "Gilikin hair is fine and thin, Munchkin is a bit coarser and shorter. Vinkus is long and rough, perhaps the closest to yours. Quadling has always been more wavy than curly or straight, and it looks oddly… slick."
The blonde shook her short, golden curls again, though not to mock Elphaba this time. Truly! I've never seen hair like hers in all of Oz!
But even though she didn't know much about Elphaba's hair, she still knew a lot about hair in general, which was what allowed her to make those astute observations of Elphaba's hair back when they were still enemies. Galinda knew what worked well with what type of hair and what didn't, even if it was hair she'd never seen or worked with before.
"Ah well, hair is hair! I'm sure I can make it work somehow!" The girl buried her fingers in her roommate's long, dark tresses. Elphaba knew that if Galinda had been anyone else, she would've slapped their hands away. "Mmm… and yours is so nice…"
"Thanks…" Elphaba looked away, a little embarrassed and flustered.
"I may not know what it is… or where it comes from…"
"My head?" Elphaba smirked.
"Elphie." Galinda narrowed her eyes. Quit killing the vibe. Her voice became distant again. "I know exactly what it needs…"
"Another makeover?" Elphaba deadpanned again, and Galinda chose to not dignify her jabbing jibe with an answer, at least out loud.
No, love and care, sillyhead. Don't worry, Elphie, I'll cover your shampoo costs from now on! And if you stubbornly insist you don't want me buying things for you, I'll just have to invent the perfect formula for your type of hair! Oh, what was that quote you told me about? The one where the husband said that he loved his wife to the point of invention? I think I could do that for you! Show you that this blissful blonde brain of mine has a couple more cells than you think it does. You're good at bio and all that science experiment stuff? Well, this is MY area of expertise!
Whether Elphaba wanted it or not, whether she liked it or not, Galinda's brain was already racing a million miles an hour. She would use all her knowledge on the science of hair to finally explain Elphaba's, not because Elphaba was a problem that needed fixing, but it was high time someone showed some genuine interest in the girl's unique anatomy, not just disgust or horror. If no one else was up for the task, Galinda would be more than happy to take full control of all proceeding haircare operations!
Elphaba could only sigh, knowing she didn't really have a choice on whether or not she went along with her roommate—and now new friend's—antics. Well, whatever she has in store, it's more than a bad hair day, for better or worse!
AN: I apologize if this is in any way inaccurate due to being an oversimplification. I was just thinking about how, with Elphaba having a Black actress, there could be a bit of discourse on racism-based beauty standards/stereotypes. For example, it's historically been a think that African American hairstyles have been viewed as more "wild" and "unruly" just because it's naturally frizzier than White American hair.
Though since this is Elphaba, part of the reason her hair doesn't register as "normal/seen before" to Galinda is a bit of an allusion to the Wizard being her father, since he isn't a child of their world, and neither is Elphaba. And I like the idea that although Galinda wouldn't know how to handle Elphaba's hairstyle, she'd still be a hair genius, and the next best choice.
Also 1 week until the singalong version! Expect more fanfics after that! LOL! I only have 1 more for now (one short fic, LOL)