"Pearl! Hold on, now!"
Squidward deemed himself a relatively fast runner. Not quite up with the likes of professional fish-athletes, but somewhat decent for sure.
However, his speed was no match compared to that of a teenage whale who'd just seen a pretty dress in a shop window - and not just any dress, no, one that she'd been raving about for weeks. A real rare one to have, not only because of its limited release run, but because of the heavy price tag, so anybody that did manage to get their fins on one would surely be the fish of the moment, and the most popular girl in school - yet another of Pearl's lifelong goals.
She soon screeched to a halt outside the shop window, rocking back and forth on her heels, flippers clasped, and propelling herself up into a light bounce whenever she pushed her weight forward onto her toes. Given how hard it was to get ahold of this particular dress, Pearl was enthralled with the fact it'd turned up in Bikini Bottom Mall of all places. Really… a dump like this? Internally, she scoffed, but kept it to herself. After all, how could she complain in the face of this wonderful revelation?
"Can we go and look at it now, Uncle Squiddy?" she pleaded, turning around with a brow raised when he didn't immediately respond, "Uncle Squiddy?"
…Only to find that he was still half way across the concourse, struggling to squeeze himself and the plethora of bags he was carrying through the bustling mob of busy bargain-hunting shoppers. Squidward had never been the best in crowds, and Pearl had enough empirical evidence to support that claim for a lifetime - it wasn't the first time today he'd been held back from where he was trying to get to by a herd of fishfolk who had seemingly all simultaneously decided they only now wanted to walk in that one specific direction. He was none too pleased about his circumstances, if the look on his face was anything to go by, but part of him did wonder if this all could have been avoided, was he a little faster to get where he wanted to be.
Sure, he was being weighed down by more shopping bags than he knew what to do with, but even despite this, his niece was so much quicker in these situations that it was honestly a wonder she'd picked cheerleading as a hobby as opposed to joining the track team. Just stick a pink frilled dress at the end of the course and she'd probably be there in an instant; the other opponents wouldn't see her for dust-bubbles. They could make a lot on that, probably, so he thought it best to keep the idea to himself and not jokingly bring it up to Mr Krabs, lest he actually try to put it into action. That, and it could save a little time given, from what Pearl had told him, they held track runs just before lunch when everybody else was doing regular physical education, instead of the after school practice like for cheerleading. Still, he didn't mind picking her up some days. It was nice to just spend time together.
Having unsuccessfully avoided a business-fish with a briefcase as he attempted to duck under the heavy-looking handbag of a rather tall lady, Squidward promptly came face-to-face with the object in-hand, letting out a little "owh!". He emerged, face considerably flatter and rectangular, but with a quick shake of his head, it was returned to its normal state, even if he had just thrown himself into a fit of dizziness. It took him a little while, but once up beside her, Squidward got a better look at his niece's snickering.
"What's so funny?" he interrogated, knowing full well what it was.
"Y- you-" Pearl could barely talk through giggles behind her fin, and Squidward had a job to suppress his smile, "you always get yourself into something."
"What, a school of fish that all concomitantly decided to walk in my exact direction? Hilarious," he rebutted, flatly.
This just pushed the boat, and Pearl snorted. "Okay, okay!" She settled. "But are you alright? Really."
"I'm fine." He'd just finished catching his breath, relieved from the duty of panting in the hopes of regaining some 'air', and straightened himself up to the best of his ability (which with that posture, wasn't exactly award-winning). "What was it you said earlier?"
"Hm? Oh!" In her amusement, she'd almost forgotten what she'd been sprinting for in the first place, and turned to point at the dress in the window rapturously, rocking on her heels. "I wanted to go in and look at that dress! It's the latest trend, you know!"
Squidward huffed lightheartedly. Typical. Of course she would want to go and see something the moment it hit the local shelves. Or, in this case, rack. It was just part of who she was, and, speaking of which, he'd noticed in his time interacting with her that she did that a lot. Not the mad dress-shopping, no. The little noise at the start of a response, indicating that she hadn't heard you and wanted you to reiterate, only for it to click a fraction of a second later, so you needn't repeat yourself. That behaviour right there was, if not for the fact she was almost taking off into space with how much she was vibrating, a tell-tale sign of her excitement.
Prepared to agree and be dragged into yet another spree, Squidward adjusted his gaze to the item in the window-
-and let his face fall.
Oh dear.
"Please, Uncle Squiddy? Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplea-"
"Alright!" He shouldn't have agreed. But he didn't have the hearts to tell her it was out of her price range. Not that she could get it anyway, but that was another story. "Alright."
"Yippee!" The subsequent jump of joy that followed shook the ground, and went on to cause a few more quakes, so when it got to the point that fishfolk on the other side of the mall were beginning to get launched into the air from the sheer impact, Squidward attempted to steady himself and calm her down.
The public acknowledgement that he was accompanying her earned him a few judgemental glares from shoppers who had dropped the contents of their bags all over the floor, but at least they seemed glad the ground-shaking had been curtailed. Although she had ceased her hopping, there didn't seem to be any loss of spring in Pearl's step as her next action involved grasping Squidward's (just about) free hand a little too tightly, and dragging him along behind her zealous skipping into the shop's entrance. He did observe that she was noticeably less stable on her feet than usual - almost like the shoes she was wearing weren't the most comfortable, so he got lost in the moment with planning out how to go about asking if anything was wrong. It was just unfortunate that he didn't happen to see they were darting into yet another something that he didn't mix well with; namely, a revolving door.
SPLAT! - against the glass he went as the doors spun around, Pearl's unawareness meaning she still had a grip on him, and was soon about to discover that the octopus' arm, as stretchy as it may be, could only reach so far. Probably more obvious a reflection when it reached its limit and snapped back like a rubberband, taking her with it, and twirling them both around and around at a ridiculous pace, leaving them yelping and any passersby only able to see their eyes for speed. Thank Neptune for physics, because after a few more rapid rotations, the contraption spat them both out on their fronts, the bags following suit.
Squidward groaned, struggling to push himself to an appropriate position to stand, arm sore and throbbing from the extent of tugging it has gone through. Gaining his bearings, he turned to look at his niece, concern lacing his face. "Are you alright?"
Already having gotten herself to kneeling, she exhaled sharply from the effort exerted after such an ordeal. "I… suppose. We're alive, I guess. How are you feeling?"
"Like I got stuck in a taffy puller."
That earned him a bemused smile, which was at least something, but was the last thing on his priority list as he got himself to standing and gave Pearl a hand up. She steadied herself once or twice, her ankle having almost buckled the first time, yet succeeded eventually with a small "thanks". Squidward nodded in response, not entirely focused on the task at hand, letting his gaze fall to her boots. "Are those… Are you having trouble?"
"Hm?" She followed to where he was now pointing and exclaimed, "Oh! Is it that obvious? Well, uh, yeah, truthfully. It's the heel, they're a nightmare to walk in - I only wore them because they match perfectly with this outfit," she went on, striking a pose based off of one of her favourite fashion icons, Fishdrey Netburn, to demonstrate, "That and… this is one of the only pairs of shoes Daddy ever bought for me that were decent. Even if they are uncomfortable."
Oh. Those nice boots were Eugene's doing. It almost didn't seem credible, knowing what his boss was like - he wasn't one to splash out and get Pearl what she wanted when she requested it on special occasions. Kelp, for the last few years in a row, he'd forgotten how old she was. But there the situation was: Krabs had done something good, and Squidward keen to upstage him.
"As you said," he began, purposefully not addressing the mention of Krabs' unexpected graciousness, "they're the wrong size, but - wouldn't you know it? - we've a better pair right here!"
He produced the shoebox from one of the many bags he was lugging around and tapped on the lid, persuasively. "You could trade them out whenever you're ready. After all, we did just get them, and they're the right size… unlike those."
It was a breath-holding five seconds (despite his relaxed face saying otherwise) for Squidward as he waited for his niece's consensus, which was soon relieved when she dipped her head and agreed he was correct, but asked if she could do it once they had found the dress she wanted instead. Squidward conceded, and they were off through the shop in search of where the design could be purchased. Pearl would've loved to have gotten a closer look at the one in the window, but it was a restricted area, and Squidward didn't fancy his chances getting her up there, what with the large-build security staff member standing inconveniently nearby.
The octopus was glad she'd chosen to switch shoes. The old ones had Krabs' "kindness" written all over them (though the longer he thought about it, the more he began to suspect the crab had burgled them out of some poor person's passageway during the summer months), and the new ones represented everything about his care for her. He'd been babysitting the girl since she was a baby; he'd made toys for her, knitted little woolly clothes in the patterns and shades that she was into whenever it began to get chilly again, coloured-in princess books, taught her to colour inside the lines, and the list went on. For thirteen years, a few days a week, it'd just been Squidward and Pearl, having the greatest of times. Of course, then she had her "difficult" phase, and the visits had to decrease for a while on account of her mood swings and her not particularly enjoying things that weren't "coral" enough, and a nerd like Squidward? Yeah, no chance. Still, he did his best by her, and just a few months ago, when Krabs had left her again to go out on one of his poker nights, after a long day of doing nothing, he'd babysat again. Of course, it had gone just about the same way it always did, until she escaped with that ruffian Dylan.
And Squidward had saved her life.
He didn't want to think about what would have happened if he hadn't noticed or couldn't have gone over to the anchor that evening, and he didn't wish the situation Dylan had put her in on anybody, but he was glad that it had brought them back to the way things had been. Suddenly, it didn't matter if what they did on Krabs' poker nights were coral or not, because it became about having fun and just spending time together, much to both their benefit.
So that led to now, him shopping with her. He'd done so much for her over the years, and what had Krabs done? Provided her with material possessions and money, yes, but Squidward had always offered something far more valuable: care. The shoes had initially made him worry Pearl might start to like Eugene better, and with how he knew his boss was the type of person to sell people for petty change or dispose of them if it meant a wealthier monetary status for himself, forgive Squidward for worrying that she'd get attached, only to be let down. He could have been overthinking it, maybe was, and he really ought to calm down in regards to such things, but… Well. He'd work on it. Right now, though, he just wished they'd get many more years to spend time together, him watching her achievements and her making him proud.
What he didn't wish, however, was how he'd gotten lost in his thoughts and, with all the narrow bends he was being dragged around (still miraculously holding onto the bags he'd picked up), was about to crash into a clothing rack. Despite his attempts, the collision went unavoidable, and he went straight through the thing, now stuck wearing the clothes that it had previously had hung up.
"Typical."
Any further complaints he may have had were cut short by Pearl's squealing, and the fact they'd come to a halt. Moving his gaze in the direction she was gawking at, Squidward found the source of her excitement easily. You couldn't really miss it - the dress Pearl wanted was displayed proudly on a rectangular pedestal up before them, draped stylishly over a grey mannequin that really helped the colours pop. The store lights up above shone down powerfully, almost as though the heavens had opened up for Neptune himself to beam down upon the dress, making the sequinned torso glimmer and glisten perfectly in every way, highlighting its radiance.
"Oh. My. Gosh," Pearl breathed, awe-struck, stepping forward to apprehensively feel the dress between her own flippers, almost as if she worried for a moment that she wasn't worthy of its greatness, "The softness of the fabric, the intricacy of the beading, the quality of all the materials, the colours, the comfort, the style, the-" She gasped, running her fingers along the sides of the dress, "The stitching! Oh, this is an original Fisheo, alright! It's her signature move: keeping the lower parts hidden and the upper contemporary and modern - I'm such a big fan of her work! Ohh, this is totally coral, isn't it, Uncle Squiddy?"
Squidward, back in his correct outfit, wrung his tentacles. He eyed the price tag. "Sure."
Pearl stared back at him with bright eyes, not caring how much her blinking increased. "I just have to get it! I've been waiting years for this to come out, but I think I told you that already?"
"Last year," he confirmed.
It was very sweet how he remembered, and Pearl grinned even wider. "Oh, awesome! How much is the dress, anyhow? Could you check the tag for me, please?"
She expected her uncle to step up beside her and hook the tag out from the left side, check it briefly, and report back, but instead, he remained where he was, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot, the closest he was getting to the thing just being looking at it. Pearl raised a brow; perhaps he needed a bit of prompting. "Uncle Squiddy?"
"Uh." His eyes were flickering around the area where the price lay, and looking hard enough would practically reveal the cogs turning in his brain. "I think it might be a bit out of your price range, Pearly?"
She laughed, albeit not a genuine one - more the type that someone may do if you told them something almost too far-fetched to believe, but they'd secretly already been worrying about the thing in question being confirmed. "What do you mean?" she questioned, rounding the pedestal to pick it up herself, "You've not even looked yet."
The moment she took the label into her grasp, the way her face fell was clear. Squidward watched her eyes sadden along with her drooping brows, devastation creeping its way into her expression and etching itself deep into her core, leaving her to silently marinate in her despondency, mouth slightly agape. They'd already bought a few items today, but even by returning those, she still wouldn't be able to pile her current allowance up high enough to afford it, and with how in vogue Fisheo was? These probably wouldn't still all be here by the time she was permitted to go out to the mall again.
"...You're right," she said, simple as that. Part of her wondered how Squidward knew it'd be so far above her current budget, and the rest was just too upset to bring it up.
Squidward stepped forward experimentally, half-expecting her to burst into tears any moment. "It's… okay, really, you might get lucky and come across it somewhere someday." If he had anything to do with it, at least.
"No-one in their right mind would get rid of one of these," Pearl explained, looking longingly at the dress, and then away as though it hurt, "Why couldn't they have brought these to Bikini Bottom sooner? Then I might've been able to get enough to afford it - I mean, they've had these in New Kelp City for over a month, but how in kelp was I supposed to get there?"
"I know." She'd told him after it had been announced, shoving her Finstagram feed in his face. "And it was rather silly of them."
Pearl said nothing for a moment, just pursing her lips to prevent tears. Usually, she would've caused a flood by now, but more recently she'd been trying not to. Crying usually got her what she wanted from her father, or what she thought she wanted - cosmetics were nice, but some attention once in a while would be nicer. Squidward paid attention, truly sympathised, but it was hardly as though he could just make a hundred dollars appear out of thin air; money did not grow on coral trees, so there was no point.
"I wish I could've asked Daddy for a bit more. Maybe to give it to me for Christmas, or something," she mused, a faint smile spreading across her lips at the thought, "but… no chance. Last year I asked him for a new hat and he gifted me a pile of half-used batteries."
Squidward would've liked to have been more helpful. Really, truly, honestly, he did. But it was hard when there… really wasn't anything he could do without either spoiling things or being magical. Especially in regards to Krabs; you'd have to be a miracle-worker to get something done in that department. Instead, he flipped to what he considered a second best: distracting the person from the issue at hand to take their mind off things. "Hey… how about we get you something else in here, hm? Something nice."
In an attempt to find something appropriate, he scanned the surrounding area, and settled on the very opposite, as he placed his tentacle around the back of the first pieces of jewellery he saw.
"They have nice earrings! Look, see, they're pearls too! You could- Oh. Oh, you don't have- ears-" Come to think of it, did anyone? That was one thought to store away to puzzle upon later, though. Nice try, regardless.
Pearl sighed, knowing Squidward was trying his best, but still failing miserably. It was when she stumbled slightly again that he suggested she sit down to change her shoes as they'd discussed earlier. They soon found her a seat situated at the end of a shoe shelf, parallel to a mirror, which Pearl could really have done with less of right now, but there wasn't currently much choice. Getting on with the task at hand, she changed her footwear, and did have to admit the new ones were drastically more comfortable, something that slightly elevated her low mood.
It didn't take long before Pearl wanted to leave, so they did just that, leaving the shop the way they came in (thankfully with less calamity), and abandoning the fashion item she had so desperately wanted all this time, along with her shattered heart.
Undeterred by how much of a challenge it would be, Squidward kept talking when it seemed suitable, pointing out simple things that you didn't really notice on the day-to-day, all in pursuit of ameliorating her pessimism. To his credit, it did work a few times, and he'd even gotten a smile out of her once or twice when he "misremembered" a fact (she was sure he was doing it on purpose), or criticised a particularly ugly-looking shop display, so it wasn't all a loss.
As they were walking, a cafe gradually came into view on the left side of the street, causing Squidward to slowly come to a stop once they were practically beside it, and take a moment to look at the items showcased in the window. "We could stop here for a while?" he suggested, pointing his thumb toward the building, "Get you some hot chocolate."
Pearl sighed dejectedly, still clearly upset about the dress. Squidward almost felt bad for keeping it a secret that after she'd given him the news a month ago, he'd headed out to New Kelp City and already bought her one for Christmas, and it was presently sitting atop his bed, waiting to be wrapped.
"Nice try, Uncle Squiddy, but you know I only like the hot chocolates that come in the little pods. You know, the ones that are kelp-chocolate flavoured. You have them at your house, remember? The ones Daddy won't buy."
Squidward nodded, "Yes, I know what you mean, but I'm thinking these are similar." He tapped against a large poster that displayed an image of a steaming cup of hot chocolate with a whipped cream can beside it, as to indicate there were optional extras; below the image was the name of the drink in large bubble text. The only thing stopping contact with the poster was obviously the window itself, and it made a small tapping noise when his tentacles patted against it. "Kelpburys," he read, and then concluded, "It's made of the same stuff."
"It is?!" Pearl exclaimed, positively fascinated. As far as she's been aware, the ones from the more expensive end of Barg'N-Mart were the only pods that could properly encapsulate the taste she liked - no other brand had been able to hold a candle to it yet, which was a shame when she asked her father for some, only for him to come back with the ones that had been further discounted from the saver's section.
Once Squidward nodded again to confirm, it was not long before the intrigue melted into excitement. "Okay, okay! Let's go in, then!"
With that, she grabbed Squidward's hand and for the third time that day, all but pulled him off his feet into the cafe, a huge beam on her face. Of course, he had a job to not topple over and embarrass himself and her by splatting his face square into the ground… again. But he managed. Just about.
The interior was like a refreshing breeze from outside, even if a breeze was currently the last thing anybody would want with how chilly it was out that day. Everything from the walls to the furniture was both aesthetically and visually pleasing, and the heating had been turned up to give the place a wonderful toasty feel that almost made it so they wanted to remove the hats and scarves that had previously been getting the job done. A mix of scents blessed the air, combining herbal and nutty, smokey and fruity, and adding just that extra bit of complexity on top to seal the deal. It was undeniably a good choice to come in here, and Pearl made quick work of finding them a table whilst Squidward went to order.
After placing both their orders, Squidward observed that Pearl had chosen some window seats with a lovely view of the outside layout, where it was just now beginning to snow (better keep those hats and scarves on after all). Pearl liked window seats. Squidward? Not so much. He liked his privacy, and the feeling of being watched when it wasn't within his control made him a bit anxious. At the same time, he was sure he could manage here. It was a slow day in the main street now the weather had picked up, and everybody else would be piling into their cars or the mall by now, so-
"Order number four," a female fish called, in between noisily chewing gum, lifting one of the cups up to her face to read out the name, "A Squidward… Tablecloth?"
"That's 'Tentacles'," he snapped, snatching the drinks and somehow not spilling anything in the process.
The lady just rolled her eyes and turned away to fetch the next order, an action to which he turned his nose up at. Rude. She'd been rude all the way through the ordering process, as a matter of fact, so naturally, he'd had her write his full name on the order - once he inevitably got famous he wanted these people to remember he was here. Besides, he was already full to the brim with talent, and fishfolk should know who he was when he walked the streets now, anyway. What was so good about Fancyson that he didn't have? "Money" sprung to mind, but he dismissed that thought with a scowl.
Half way along his heading back to their table, he caught sight of Pearl flapping her hands, and was suddenly overcome by warm memories. She used to do that all the time when she was little, but over time, the habit had fizzled. He rarely saw it nowadays, aside from when she was incredibly emotionally charged over something, so it was good to know that even something as simple as them getting some drinks in a nice cafe was bringing her previously stolen joy back. He considered waiting back a moment, but the drinks were starting to burn his tentacles through the cups, and he wanted to get them down as soon as possible, so swiftly joined her.
"Here you go," he said instinctually, placing her mug down before his own, taller, cup.
"It's pink," she commented, grasping the handle to rotate the object, curiosity wondering if there was any detailing on it, "That's a fun coincidence!"
"They had a choice of colours," Squidward explained, "But go on, give it a try - blow on it first."
Pearl playfully rolled her eyes. "I'm not five, Uncle Squiddy." She did so anyway, for his sake.
Truth be told, she hadn't really had immensely high hopes that it would taste any good, but to her surprise, it was pretty similar. Perhaps with a little less milk, but it was hard to find a one-to-one replica just out and about, so for what it was, she was impressed. "Ohmygosh, you were right, it totally does taste like the pods!"
"Told you," he smiled.
Squidward hadn't gone the hot chocolate route himself. The cup he had was filled with tea, a sugar stick poking out of the top as a treat, a noticeable deviation from the way he usually added one or two sweeteners. It was nice to have something with a tad more kick in it, and it tasted fabulous, so there wasn't really any downside.
For a while, they sat in moderate silence (after the customary clinking of their drinks together in "cheers" for a laugh), just sipping their drinks and making the occasional observation about the weather outside or how passer-bys kept slipping up on one particular patch of ice.
Staring intently at the area, Squidward lifted a finger. "That fish there, he's going to slip on it first."
"Yeah? Well, my money's on the green fish then," Pearl jested, joining in on the fun.
Not a moment later, Squidward's pick stepped on the danger zone, slipped, and went sailing all the way down the street. They both stifled their laughter at the display, the octopus turning to his niece to carry on the bit. "Pay up, Pearl."
Just then, the green fish made the exact same mistake, with even more of a disastrous outcome than the first, as he flew off and landed in the back of a mover's truck. Pearl winced. "At least he did slip," she pointed out, "...Just not first."
Another silence fell upon them for a second, before they both burst out giggling and chortling like idiots at the incessant mistakes other fishfolk were making. Deep down, Squidward knew it'd come back to bite him later, but he may as well enjoy his fun whilst it lasted. "See, the day wasn't a total loss."
Pearl smiled, albeit half-heartedly. "Yeah. Still, it would've been nice to have that dress to cheer me up a tad. Christmas isn't always the best at mine - you know that."
She was right, he did know that. He hadn't spent a ton of Christmases at Mr Krabs' anchor (thank Neptune), but he'd had his fair share, and they rarely turned out to be a particularly good time, whether it was because he burnt the dinner or forgot to actually put any presents he'd actually bothered to wrap out, or last year, where he heard from SpongeBob that he'd dished up Krabby Patties, deeming them a suitable lunch for the special day.
His mouth spoke before his brain could catch up. "How about I come over on the day and make the food? I'll bring Snellie, too."
The festivities were more stupid than anything, and on a day that was meant to be of rest and good will, he'd rather be anywhere else than around his skinflint boss, but it meant a lot to Pearl, and that made any sacrifice worth it. Besides, if he got too panicky, Snellie would be there, and she always calmed him down. That, and he could probably get out a board game for them all to try at the same time Krabs was busy counting up all the money he was sure to receive in his stocking; Squidward was beginning to suspect he forged his name onto Santa's Good List every year, because it simply did not make sense that he was given the thing he most wanted, whilst Squidward got a "well done!" note at best.
"That'd be really nice," Pearl snatched him out of that train of thought, "I'm just unsure how Daddy would feel abou-"
"I'll do it for free."
"Oh, you're definitely being invited over then!" she laughed, just as she had before when the ice-slipping incident had occurred (and unbeknownst to them, was still going on as somebody else was tossed into a somersault).
Her happiness was as infectious as the seasonal colds, a similar state spread onto Squidward's own face, reminding him that they'd get to see each other again on the most wonderful day of the year. And it would be, even if he wasn't going to get a present.
But then again.. Maybe he didn't need a Christmas present. Perhaps the best gift he could get in his life was sitting right in front of him and chuckling at fish losing their balance on ice.
The 25th of December had come early. Squidward smiled.
'Happy Christmas to me.'