Remy Holds the Key to Your Heart
"I swear, if Kurt 'ports in here unannounced one more time I'm gonna shave his furry blue head bald," Rogue grumbled while curled up on a bed in the Infirmary. "It's bad enough he keeps bringing me trays of Kitty's so-called 'cooking', now he's giving me heart attacks too. Is he trying to kill me or heal me? Grrr…"
Rogue sighed and tried once more to stop the same thoughts from running around in her head. It's not really Kurt's fault. He's always been like an annoying, goofy little brother. Except now he really is an annoying, goofy little brother. I can't believe it! Just like I can't believe Risty was really…really…"
Rogue sniffed and wiped her eyes while refusing to shed any tears. Risty wasn't real. She was never real. She was a fake. Mystique in disguise. She used me. Again. How could she do that? How can Mystique really be my mot…my adopted mother? How is that possible? Why didn't I learn about this before? Why didn't Destiny ever tell me?
Rogue let out a sharp groan and hit her pillow in frustration. Ugh, this is all so messed up. Even Logan's blunt and awkward attempts at consolation don't help. I wish I could talk to Risty about all this…no, not again! Auggghhh!
Rogue closed her eyes while teetering between anger, exasperation, confusion, fatigue and despair. Why do these things always happen to me? Why am I like this? Isn't there anyone I can be close to without having them stab me in the back? Isn't there anyone who really, truly cares about me…?
"Aw, no need to be so devo there, sheila," A familiar Australian-accented voice suddenly spoke up. "You may be feeling a bit down and out now, but here comes just the thing to put a smile on your face and a song in your heart!"
"Huh?" Rogue blinked sitting up in shock. "What the heck…?"
"So better hold onto your bedpan, sheila," The doors to the Infirmary opened revealing a cloud of swirling fog. "Here we go!"
"Oh no," Rogue groaned bracing herself for the worst. "What is that maniac up to this time? How did he ever get in…?"
"Heeeeeere's Gambit!" The Australian voice announced as Remy dramatically strode out from the fog holding a bouquet of fresh red and green roses. "Ha, ha, ha!"
"Huh?" Rogue gawked at Remy's grand entrance. "You got to be kidding me!"
"Bonjour, my dear sweet chérie!" Remy greeted indicating himself with a flourish. "Yes, it's your dashing Remy!"
"My what?" Rogue was almost too stunned to speak.
"There's nothing to fear," Remy soothed setting down the bouquet and gently clasped Rogue's hands in his gloved palms. "Don't be scared. Remy's here!"
"That's exactly what I've afraid of," Rogue gave him a look.
"I'll show you just what we can be!" Remy smiled leaning in for a kiss.
"Don't even think about it!" Rogue snapped pulling away.
"Remy holds the key to your heart!" A beaming Pyro skipped into the room leading a band of flame-based musicians. "From him you'll never be apart!"
"Wanna bet?" Rogue growled.
"You'll quit feeling blue as your life starts anew!" Pyro grinned tossing about handfuls of confetti, glitter, fire balloons and firecrackers. "And soon everyone will be laughing with you! Ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha!"
"This can't be happening," Rogue moaned at the display. "How did you yahoos manage to get past the mansion's defenses? Where the heck is everyone?"
"Remy holds the key to l'amour!" One of the fire balloons sporting a smiley face crooned.
"And not even Beast knows the cure!" Another fire figure declared.
"How about the cure for insanity?" Rogue drawled. "Or delusions, which all this lunacy certainly must be!"
"There's love in the air!" A flying fire figure yodeled.
"Intimate charms laid bare!" A flaming heart outline appeared around Remy as he theatrically whipped off his shirt. "That man is a true work of art!"
"Huh?" A surprised Rogue blinked at the sight. "Wow…uh, I mean…"
"Remy holds the key to your heart!" Pyro and his fire chorus whooped while continuing to prance about. "Ha, ha, ha!"
"Okay, seriously. Where is everyone?" Rogue flushed managing to tear her gaze away from Remy's exposed form. "Are they all asleep or something?"
"When he comes to woo, you too will flutter!" Pyro sang as Remy struck a series of poses. "Though your lips say 'don't', your eyes say 'do'!"
"What? No!" Rogue blushed turning away.
"If you think you can't, you'll find you can-can!" A party of male fire dancers flared into existence. "Everyone can can-can! You can can-can too!"
"Uh…" Rogue blinked as the dancers formed a line, linked arms and began performing a series of precision high kicks. "Wow, I hope the mansion's security cameras are recording all this. Um, for important…security reasons…"
"Wheee! Wheee! Wheee!" Pyro giggled tearing off most of his clothes and joined the kickline as well.
"On the other hand," Rogue groaned as Pyro and his flame companions easily raised their feet over their heads in synch. "Looks like the Professor will need to perform yet another mind wipe…whoa!"
"Remy will hold you close and fast," Remy smiled carefully whisking Rogue off the bed and began slowly swaying with her. "Yes, chérie, I'll be yours at last."
"Uh," Rogue was at a literal loss for words.
"No more pretend. We'll be one till the end," Remy vowed stroking Rogue's hair.
"I…I…" Rogue stuttered as Remy's face drew within inches of hers.
"Remy holds the key to your heart!" Pyro whooped shooting out bursts of fireworks. "You'll be fiery and so smart!"
"Come dance through the night!" A fire figure urged.
"And forget all your woes!" Another fire balloon crooned.
"Embrace Gambit tight!" Every fire figure cheered.
"With or without his clothes!" Pyro giggled.
"WHAT?!" Rogue yelped.
"As one never knows what will start!" Pyro and the fire figures roared dramatically. "REMY HOLDS THE KEY…!"
"To your…" Remy whispered into Rogue's ear.
"HEART!" Pyro whooped as fireworks bloomed throughout the Infirmary. "HA, HA, HA! HA, HA, HA!"
"Gambit…Remy…I…I…" Rogue gasped while gazing into Remy's eyes.
"Shhh, no need to say it, chérie. I know," Remy smiled lowering his lips towards hers. "Oh, Rogue…Rogue…HEY ROGUE, WAKE UP!"
"Aaahhhhhh!" Rogue yelped bolting up from her bed.
"Good, you're awake," Kurt smiled greeted her. "I'm glad to see you're finally managing to get some decent sleep."
"Huh?" Rogue blinked looking around at the usual unscorched Infirmary. "What the? Where did…?"
"I brought your latest meal. Kitty's homemade prune and cottage cheese stuffed hushpuppies. Whatever those are," Kurt said holding up a tray. "They smell kind of fishy and Toad-like to me. I'll set them down next to the roses."
"Huh?" Rogue blinked again. "What roses?"
"These roses," Kurt indicated a bouquet of red and green roses sitting on a side table. "Someone must have delivered them while you were asleep."
"Oh," Rogue nodded slowly. "Uh, okay."
"There's a card here, too," Kurt said picking it up. "'Hope you get well soon. - R'. Hmmm, who's R?"
"Huh?" Rogue did a take and stared at the roses in shocked realization. "No way. It couldn't be…"
"Hey, maybe you have a secret admirer," Kurt suggested teasingly. "I wonder who it could be? Maybe Ray? Or Roberto? We could always just ask Wolverine to check for any lingering scents and track down the sender…"
"NO!" Rogue yelled quickly snatching the card and bouquet from Kurt. "IT'S NOTHING! THEY'RE FROM NO ONE! NO ONE, YOU HEAR ME?! NO ONE AT ALL! NOW GET OUT!"
"Okay, okay! Sheesh, no need to yell," Kurt held up his hands before teleporting away.
"Aaaggghhhhhh, that cocky, shameless, Cajun sneak! He even somehow manages to cross the fine line between dreams and reality!" Rogue cried and fell back against the bed as a faint blush began slowly creeping across her cheeks. "And I thought I had enough problems trying to deal with Mystique!"
Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution or the song "Paris Holds the Key to Your Heart".