Driven Out of My Mind
"Ah, this is it. All the pieces are falling into place," Magneto mused while seated in his private office. "Dreams and reality have inexorably coalesced. All the work, resources, efforts and imagination of mutants are finally working as one…"
KA-WHOOOOOOSSSHHH!
"Yehaaa! Wahooo! Look out!" Various cries, shouts and maniacal laughter split the air.
CRASH! SMASH! BOOM!
"…to drive me absolutely insane," Magneto twitched as something exploded in the distance.
"Magneto! Magneto!" Mastermind cried bursting into Magneto's office. "The Training Dome has been filled to the brim with traffic cones and shaving cream!"
"Oh no," Magneto moaned. "Not again."
"Hey boss. All the spheres in the Sphere Hangar have been destroyed," Sabertooth growled appearing next. "Every sphere has a bunch of large holes in it. It looks like a collection of giant metal whiffle balls in there."
"I know," Magneto buried his head in his hands. "Though it's still better than the time the Sphere Hangar was packed with actual whiffle balls. What a mess that was!"
"That's not all!" Mastermind babbled nervously. "Half of the Control Room is on fire!"
"Only half?" Magneto gave him a look.
"Yep," Mastermind confirmed. "The other half is flooded with cranberry yogurt."
"WHAT?!" Magneto yelled.
"Na, Bonzo's wrong," Sabertooth grunted. "The Control Room isn't flooded with yogurt."
"Thank goodness," Magneto sighed.
"It's flooded with dry ice and liquid nitrogen," Sabertooth went on. "Which also managed to put out the fire."
"Oh joy," Magneto deadpanned.
"But still couldn't prevent the ceiling from caving in," Sabertooth continued. "And also contributed to warping the overheated floor and caused it to collapse into the underground vaporized water tanks."
"Oh no!" Magneto moaned. "I should have known!"
"The fire extinguishers are gone, the refrigerator is empty," Mastermind whimpered as the entire base was rocked by another round of shouts and explosions. "And we're all out of aspirin and alcohol."
"No!" Sabertooth gasped in shock. "Not the booze!"
"Shut up, you idiots!" Magneto shouted rising to his feet. "Your whining is giving me almost as many headaches as the rest of those idiots!"
FA-BOOOOOOM!
RUMMMBBBLLLE!
"HAHAHAHAHA!"
"Almost," Magneto gulped and began pacing around the room. "Ahhh, this is crazy! The base is a mess! My office door gets stolen or blown up nearly every day! Why do I have to put up with this? I shouldn't have to put up with this! I can't take this lunacy anymore! I have to get outta here!"
"Me too," Mastermind moaned.
"I second the motion!" Sabertooth yelled. "Don't leave me here!"
"Why not? The trio of mindless fools out there have already driven me way past my break point," Magneto snapped indicating the maelstrom of chaos raging outside his office. "Not to mention succeeding in driving me completely out of my mind!"
"You're not the only one," Mastermind whimpered as a bright flash suddenly lit up the hallway.
"Great. Sounds like the Three Stooges went and overloaded the laundry machine again," Sabertooth noted right before more bright flashes went off. "Not to mention all of Magneto's fancy lab equipment and the base's water heater too."
"Auuuggghhh!" Magneto howled clutching his head. "Driven out of my mind I was tossing and turning! And the nightmare I had was mad and full of fear!"
"Ohhh," Mastermind moaned at the thought.
"It scared me out of my wits! My brain falling to bits!" Magneto twitched as several large fire balls shot past the doorway. "Then I opened my eyes and the nightmare was here!"
"'Was' here?" Sabertooth gave Magneto a look. "More like been here for way too darn long!"
"I am one of the most powerful mutants on Earth!" Magneto continued to rant with a crazed look in his eye. "Working hard to achieve mutant kind's destiny!"
"'Attaway, Pippi!" Pyro whooped in the distance. "Set those fireworks off good!"
"Do-doh! Do-doh!" Pippi was heard hooting.
SNAP!POW!CRACK!WHIZZZ!POP!POP!POP!POP!POP!
"Striving for order and life!" Magneto twitched at the noise. "I instead got chaos and strife!"
"No kidding," Mastermind groaned.
"Because of these fools, it's insanity!" Magneto howled.
"We know," Sabertooth moaned. "Boy, do we know!"
SPLA-FOOOOOOM!
"Driven out of my mind, madness will find me!" Magneto sang as yet another explosion rocked the base. "Driven out of my mind, sense can't hold on!"
"Neither can my remaining will to live," Mastermind whimpered.
"Mayhem reigns with ease! As all sanity flees!" Magneto screamed raising his hands to the heavens. "Driven out of my mind! It's all gone!"
"That's not the only thing that's gone around here," Sabertooth looked like he was about to cry. "So is all reason, rationality, hope, booze…the booze…nooo…"
"HAHAHAHAHA!" Pyro was heard cackling maniacally. "SUPER GLUE FIGHT!"
"FEATHER COUNTERATTACK!" Remy and Piotr shouted back.
GLOOOOOOP!
SMAAASSSHHH!
"Those crazed lunatics of mine are nothing but trouble!" Magneto twitched at the continuous sounds of destruction. "They but play every day and pile on to my stress!"
"Don't forget fraying our nerves," Mastermind moaned. "That is those of us who still have any nerves."
"Although mutants' future is near! It's full of bedlam I fear!" Magneto wailed. "Idiocy and havoc are here! Madness!"
"No! Not more madness! Anything but that!" Sabertooth and Mastermind cried covering their heads. "Driven out of our minds, nonsense but plagues us!"
"Nonsense is the least of it all!" Magneto screamed in aggravation.
"Driven out of our minds, madness will burst!" Sabertooth and Mastermind wailed.
"WAXED WATERMELON STAMPEDE!" Pyro cheered.
KA-POW!
"Far from ideal! My worst nightmares are real!" Magneto howled despairingly.
"Driven out of our minds!" Sabertooth and Mastermind warbled.
"We're all cursed!" Magneto declared.
CRASH!
"Oh dear. There goes another wall," Piotr was heard commenting.
"Don't worry, homme. We still have plenty of non-destroyed ones left," Remy replied. "Well, maybe more 'less' than 'plenty'…"
"Aaaggghhhhhh!" Magneto screamed in helplessness. "Driven out of my mind, madness will find me!"
"Find him!" Sabertooth and Mastermind echoed. "Oooh!"
"Driven out of my mind, there is but doom!" Magneto sang ominously.
"Doom us!" Sabertooth and Mastermind moaned.
"Hey, keep the tiki torches away from the laughing gas!" Remy was heard shouting. "No, not the flying chainsaws too!"
FA-WHOOOOOOSSSHHHHHH!
"Oh dear! It's a sign!" Magneto twitched watching his base literally fall to pieces around him. "It's the end of the line!"
"Driven out of our minds!" Sabertooth and Mastermind gulped clutching each other in desperation. "Driven out of our minds!"
"BOINGY! BOINGY! BOINGY!" Pyro whooped insanely.
"Nothing's left but utter confusion!" Magneto wept falling to his knees. "Reason's been consumed!"
"Driven out of our minds! Driven out of our minds!" Sabertooth and Mastermind groaned in unison.
"COME BACK HERE WITH THAT FIRE BUBBLE BAZOOKA, YOU CRAZY DODO!" Remy yelled.
"Do-doh! Do-doh!" Pippi hooted.
"There's just one definite conclusion!" Magneto cried in resignation.
"Driven out of our minds! Driven out of our minds!" Sabertooth and Mastermind chanted with their eyes spinning in circles. "Driven out of our minds!"
"Do-doh! Py-roh!" Pippi cooed appearing in the doorway wielding a custom-made fire bubble bazooka.
"WE'RE ALL DOOMED!" Magneto screamed.
BA-PHOOOOOOM!
Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution or the song "In the Dark of the Night".