warning: grammar, stories boring but try reading it plsss

disclaimer: Don't own Gintama series

Don't Trust Anyone, Even the Mailman

Chapter l

/Author's POV/

Sun shining brightly, birds humming, kids playing, and Kagura, the queen of Kabuki-cho district, is walking aimlessly at the kabuki-cho district. Indeed it was a beautiful day until a certain rival of hers ruined the mood, Okita Sougo, former Shinsengumi first division captain and known as the sadistic prince of planet Sadist. Yet even though it's ruined, the China doll still keeps her smile and now walks to the Shimura Dojo to talk with her Anego, Shimura Tae, the queen of edo and the maker of the infamous dish called 'dark matter'.

On her way there, she spotted her brother-on-earth, Shimura Shinpachi, also her comrade at Yorozuya Gin-chan but known as: megane, glasses wearing human, four eyes, glasses stand, virgin glasses, infamous glasses, and useless glasses. There's actually a lot more but we need to proceed to the story.

" Shinpachi, ohayo-aru! " Kagura greeted the glasses. " Ahahaha, I'm not a glasses Author-san! " Glasses-wearing-human smiled creepily at the screen. Megane face-palmed himself and just decided to greet the said girl. " Well, ohayo Kagura-chan! Why are you up early today? "

Kagura's smile faded and turned to a frown, " That Sadist ruined my day by appearing on one of my best dreams yet, but now it's ruined, that dream became a nightmare-aru! " She shouted in frustration. Her frustrated voice vibrates all over edo, even the stalker Gorilla falls over from her hiding place which is the roof.

" KYYAAAAA!! " Speaking of Gorilla , here's one flying roof to roofs because of Tae critical hit on him. Tae left the house and chased the Gorilla with her trusty spear which I don't know where she got, while picking her phone up to call the police. Shinpachi as her brother, chased the loose monster leaving Kagura all alone. Well, now that her Anego is chasing her stalker while Shinpachi is trying to stop his sister, Kagura needs another place to hang out to.

" Hmm, maybe Tsukky is free today-aru. Come to think of it, I haven't seen her for a while now-aru!" Kagura said, skipping all the way to Hinowa's house.

At Hinowa's door she can hear several familiar voices talking, well more like arguing. When she entered, there she saw Gin-chan, Sakata Gintoki, The lazy perm head boss of hers and magane's and known as shiroyasha. Tsukky, Tsukuyo, The tsundere leader of Hyakka and the courtesan of death. And Sacchan, Sarutobi Ayame, The masochist-pervert-stalker ninja which is obsessed with Gin-chan.

The three looked up and saw none other than Kagura pointing her finger at the perm head. Well, you see, we start the story by Kagura walking to find a place to hangout. Yeah, why is she not at Yorozuya, well the thing is when she woke up from that nightmare, Gin-chan was gone and the electricity is out, so she went to talk with Tae and then that.

Gintoki who's lazily sitting in the middle of the two arguing women, pulled the two women closer to him which caused both of them to blush. " Gin-san, I knew it, you really loved me ain't you '' the pervert said then hugged his Perm idiot and pushed Tsukky aside.

Tsukky on the other hand doesn't care, Tsukky walks to Kagura and greet her at the same time calming her down.

" BAKA! KONO BAKA! I DIDN'T RAISE YOU LIKE THAT GIN-CHAN, leaving me alone without saying anything then went here to flirt with Tsukky and your stupid perverted stalker-aru! " Kagura shouted then the pervert stood up then glared at the yato. " Hey, I have a name! Baka! And don't ever ruin Gin-san and I's moment or else-" The red headed girl interrupted her by continuing her sentence, " Or else what, gonna scare me. Psstt, you're kidding right-aru."

They glared for a moment and little did they know that Gin is already sneaking away to the three monsters.

" Gin-san stop this brat over here and-Nani! Where are you Gin-san, gonna play hide and seek with me, ahhh Gin-san " and then there she goes trying to find the running away Gin.

" she's an idiot-aru " Kagura mumbled. " You say that again " Tsukuyo agreed. " Well, Kagura. Why are you here? " Tsukuyo asked. Kagura turned and faced the door, " I, I was finding someone to talk and hang out with, but I guess you'll be busy fixing the house until Hinowa-chan arrives, sayonara Tsukky! " She then left the poor Tsukky inside Hinowa's house.

Where to go next... the park? pass! the Sadist might be there... Oh I know! She shouted in her mind then picked up her phone and dialed the number of Soyo-chan, Tokugawa Soyo, A.K.A her best friend, the brother of Tokugawa Shige Shige who's the shogun of edo, so technically she's the princess of Edo.

" Konnichiwa, Soyo here. Who might you be ? " The Princess answered with her polite voice. Thanking the gods that her best friend answered, Kagura answered her question in her cheerful voice , " It's me Kagura-aru! Can we hang out together? " Questioned the Yato. The princess went silent for a while then answered, " Gomene Kagura-chan, my schedule is kinda full today. Maybe tomorrow. Perfect-" " It's fine Soyo-chan, I'll see you the-naru! " To Kagura's dismay her friend is also unavailable. Now her only choice is to spend her morning alone at the Yorozuya.

" 999 sukonbu that I ate together with a bowl of rice, 1000 sukonbu that I ate together with a ten- no one hundred takoyaki-aru, 1001 sukonbu that I ate together with a bowl of ramen-aru, 1002 sukonbu that I ate with a lot more sukonbu-aru, 1003 sukonbu that I- " * knock * * knock * * knock * " , 1003 sukonbu that I ate with one thousand donuts with sprinkles on the to- " * knock * * knock * * knock * * knock * * knock *

Kagura as you can see is lying on the couch counting foods to pass some time, that's when the knock on the door can be heard so many times she got irritated by it. The red-hair Yato moved her feet to the entrance then kicked the door open, she probably will be scolded by Gin later on but she doesn't care, that knocker at the door just ruined her day even worse.

" Nantekotta, stop knocking on the door-aru, yah see if yah old hag Gin-chans not here, she's busy hiding from his favourite stalker and if you're a customer, The boss ain't here so shoo, shoo-aru! " Kagura shoo the costumer or whoever that is until it spoke, " Ahh, Gomensai, just here to deliver this package to Kagura-sama, is that you? "

Kagura is embarrassed and sorry, she acted rudely at the mailman with a mask on it's face thinking it's just a crappy customer outside. " Ahh, yes yes-aru. Sorry about that and arigato-aru! " Kagura replied. After getting back, of course placing back the door she just broke, she opened the package. When she opened the package it began to emit blue-colored smoke making her dizzy and all wimpy. The last thing she saw is the mailman just now placing her into a van. Curse you, whoever you are mailman. Then she fell into a deep slumber.

" Boss, got her. Whose next ? " The mailman smirked taking off his mask.

-- Authors notes --

Thank you for reading, sorry for poor grammar and for the short outcome, I'll try my best for the next chapter (﹏)

Am just saying for those who don't know, italics show their thoughts, ARIGATO! ಡ͜ʖಡ

FANFIC DICTIONARY:

1. Anego - How Kagura called Otae, which is means 'elder sister'

2. Megane - glasses, mostly used to describe Shinpachi but sometimes Sacchan too since both have glasses within their character.

3. Ohayo - good morning in english

4. Baka/Kono baka - 'idiot' or 'you idiot'

5. Nani - 'what' in English

6. Konnichiwa - a form of greeting. Hello in English.

7. Sokonbu - pickled seaweed. Kagura's favourite snack.

8. Nantekotta - ' What the hell '

9. Gomensai - used to say sorry or to apologize.

10. Arigato - ' thank you ' in English.

11. Aru - Uh huh, Kagura uses aru (uh huh, yes) when ending sentence sometimes.

THAT ALL SAYONARA!!!