Megane is back! Now Do your Job!

Chapter VI

/Authorcs pov/

" Author-san, I have a name right. " Megane breathed and shouted, " WHY MEGANE! YOU USELESS AUTHOR! PLUS AM I REALLY THAT BAD THAT YOU DIDN'T PUT ME ON THE PREVIOUS CHAPTERS! " finally Megane calmed down.

" Calm down your face, you Author! " Megane exclaimed, really frustrated, huh, Megane. " I'm already tired of correcting you so whatever. Mina, konnichiwa. " Lazy Megane answered. " Konnichiwa, Mina! " The star cheerfully greeted, the one and only Otsuu.

" Ahhh, Otsuu-chan, konnichiwa! You look beautiful today! " The Gorilla greeted. " Look Shimura-san, your stalker is flirting with another woman. Reject him now will yah. " Hijikata suggested. " Toshi! How could you say that! I'm loyal to Otae even if Otsuu is much nicer, cuter, better cook-" " Step away from Otsuu, Kondo-san! Marry another Gorilla will you!" Shouted by Megane who was trying to attack Kondou but was stopped by Hijikata. " I'll marry only Otae-san, brother-in-law! Ehem! Back to my explanation... uhm... yeah... She might accept me being a gorilla and a stalker and might accept my proposal, we could even get married, but my heart is only filled by Otae, only Otae-san! Otae-san!" The gorilla stalker jumped in the air, attempting to hug Tae but instead landed on Otae's fist that made him unconscious for a while. " Shut up Gorilla! " She angrily said.

" Good job Shimura-san. " Sougo clapped his hands then walked closer to their captain and poked his face several times, checking if his alive. " How can you even say that?! That's your commander right?! " Shinpachi commented. " I appreciate you more than I expected, Yorozuya! " Toshi tapped Magane's right shoulder then lit his cigarette with his mayo lighter. " Now, now, Hijikata-san, you really looked good doing Magane's job, though Megane is much more fitting to that job's look. " Uttered Sougo.

" By the way, Shimura-san. Can you also do that attack on Hijikata-san, he would really love it plus if you don't know... " Sougo leaned to the brunette's body and whispered. " ... He is also stalking you, he has pictures of you in his room, in your regular outfit, hostess outfit, towel-only outfit, bikini, oh and also I found out what he was hiding in his perverted closet. Well it's only some bras and panties, bet it's yours. " He moved backwards and smirked at Hijikata. " Sougo, teme! What you said to that gorilla woman! " Hijikata exclaimed. " My sister's not a 'gorilla woman'! And Okita-san, what did you whisper to my sister that made him release such a dark aura! Anueu! " Megane ran to his sister who's charging at the clueless Hijikata.

" Teme! Where the hell did you get that spear! Okay, okay, sorry for calling you gorilla woman, calm down now will you! " Hijikata yelled, his cigarette dropping on the ground. " Shut up you pervert nicotine! That's why my bras and panties are missing! " She shouted out her lungs. " What you talking about! Sougo! You're gonna pay for this! " Then he ran for his precious life with a monster chasing him. Sougo only smirked, holding his phone, also running into their direction to record the death of his most hated vice commander. " Shine, Hijikata-san! "

" Poor Hijikata-san. " Megane sighed, he's been here for just five minutes but the situation seems really complicated for his glasses. " Really Author-san! Am I made out of glasses! Stop this joke already! " Megane frustratedly shouted. " You are made out of glasses, that's why. " The four siblings said in unison. " Really Sumire-chan, Souchi-kun, Akari-kun, Kanna-chan! " Well you know who said that.

" Okay calm down Shinpachi... *Breath* *breath* *breath some more and sigh*... HOW CAN I CALM DOWN, LOOK THEIR IS NOBUME ONLY MUNCHING DONUTS SHE SNATCHED FROM KAMUI-SAN WHO SNATCHED IT FROM KAGURA-CHAN WHO ALSO SNATCHED THAT FROM GIN-SAN WHO JUST SNATCHED THAT FROM IT'S OWNER NOBUME-SAN, WHO REPEATS IT'S PROCESS UNTIL THE DONUTS FELL TO THE GROUND, ONTO THE SHIT OF I-DONT-KNOW-WHO-THE-HELL FROM THEN TAMA-SAN PICKED IT UP OFFERING IT TO THE FOUR WHO WERE JUST FOCUSED ON THEIR SNATCHING GAME THAT THEY DIDN'T EVEN NOTICED THAT THE ONE THEY ARE TRYING TO SNATCHED FELL TO THE SHIT! AND THEN EAT THE DONUTS THAT FELL TO THE SHIT AND GAVE SOME TO KATSURA-SAN, SAKAMOTO-SAN, HATTORI-SAN, SACCHAN-SAN, WHOSE TOO IDIOT TO ACCEPT THE DONUTS WHOSE COVERED BY SHIT WHILE THE OTHERS ARE DOING THEIR STUFF LIKE COOKING SOBA FOR KATSURA-SAN WHO MIXED THE DONUTS FULL OF SHIT INTO IT AND A GIRL AND GORILLA RUNNING AND STOPING THE RAMPAGE OKITA-SAN HAS DONE ONLY TO GET HIT BY MY MONSTER SISTER WHO IS NOW MERCILESSLY KILLING HIJIKATA-SAN UNDER A SHIT! JUST WHO THE HELL IS SHITTING! THEN THEIRS THIS PRINCESS AND OTSUU-CHAN WHOSE CURIOUS ABOUT A SHIT NOT KNOWING IT'S A SHIT BUT IT'S A SHIT THEN TOUCHED THE SHIT WHO THEY THOUGHT NOT A SHIT BUT A SHIT! AN AFRO MAN WRITING SOMETHING USING A SHIT SAYING: I LIKE THIS NEW TYPE OF PEN BUT WHY DOES IT SMELLED SHIT AND STOP SHOUTING YOU SHIT OF A GLASSES! AND THEIRS THIS DRUNK TSUKKY-SAN DANCING LIKE A MANIAC IN FRONT OF GIN-SAN WHOSE TOUCHING HER BREASTS WITH HIS HANDS FULL OF SHIT BECAUSE MY TWO SHITTY COMRADES ARE PLAYING AT THE SHIT LIKE IT'S A SNOW! SACCHAN-SAN HATED WHAT GIN-SAN DO TO TSUKKY-SAN SO SHE COVERED HERSELF WITH SHIT AND HUGGED GIN-SAN WHOSE NOW FULL OF SHIT! JUST WHERE THE HELL OF A SHIT DOES THE SHIT CAME FROM?!?!! " Megane breathed, begging for air after shouting all those words. Then he accidentally slipped and fell to Tsukky who's currently hugging Gin full of shit, chest of hers in his head, then he opened his eyes and saw that he landed on Tsukky's butt.

Everyone looked at her, Gin looking at him betrayed while Tsukky flustered. Shinpachi have tried moving away but the unconscious Hijikata is thrown in their direction bringing Shinpachi on Tsukky's butt harder making her fall on the sofa and unintentionally kissing Gintoki on his lips full of shit. The drunk Tsukky opened her eyes and somewhat understood the situation, but instead of pulling away, she kissed him harder, not gonna mention the shit they are both tasting.

Everyone looked in shock. Shinpachi, Yamazaki, and Sougo in disgust because they're the only ones who knew about the shit they've been playing and eating all this time.

" What shit you talking about Author-san? " Otae asked while poking a shit underneath her.

" That's a shit Shimura-san. " Yamazaki said in total disgust.

" Ehh... EHHHH! MINA! WHAT WERE YOU ALL DOING EATING AND PLAYING SHITS AROUND! TOOTHBRUSH! TOOTHBRUSH! GIVE US SOME TOOTHBRUSH! " She commented.

" Really!.. Oi Author-san, why do you only let me speak when our mouths are full of these shits? I'm the heroine in this anime not that plain, virgin, megane! " Gin complained. " Yeah, yeah! Like Gin-chan said! We're the heroine so why did you make us eat shit you fucking Author!" Kagura agreed. At least I made you speak right.

" Wait 'shit'! Shit on my alluring mouth and pretty hands-aru! oh shit! Fuck you Megane! Why you just told us now-aru! Toothbrush! toothbrush! TOOTHBRUSH! TOOTHBRUSH-ARU! " The yato girl pleaded while rubbing her hands and tongue at the concrete wall. " Toothbrush Shinpachi! " Gin yelped whilst rubbing his mouth and rolling over at the sofa. Nobume cleaned her mouth with the paper bags of all the donuts she ate which is a hundred paper bags, dunno where she hid them. Kamui cleaned his mouth whether to Nobume or Kagura's hair. Soyo and Otsuu claimed the bathroom and washed their hands there until it became red. Hijikata, Hijikata is still lying on the floor unconsciously. Zenzou doing the same as Gin-chan's while Shimaru writing something with his pen made out of shit saying: like I suspected, now who has some tissues. Mutsu helped Sakamoto by spraying 'anti insect' spray on him. Well Tsukky, Tsukky's still kissing Gin but in his kimono and neck this time.

" Really Tsukky-san, someone grab this drunk ninja please! " Shinpachi shouted.

" Don't worry Megane, let me handle this! " Sarutobi said, going nearer to GinTsu. " Again with the nickname!" Frustrated Shinpachi yelled. " Tsukky, step aside will you and give the spotlight to Gin's wife. " Sarutobi pushed Tsukky aside but Tsukky's grasp of his body was strong. " Gin-san, are you trying to make me jealous because of our fight yesterday, come on Gin-san I forgive you, come back to your wife and throw your filthy mistress away! " Still struggling putting Tsukky away from Sakata. " Shut up perv! Zura, stop eating that shit and yank this girl away from me!" Gin uttered between his so-called 'cleaning'.

" Zura and Shit janai, Katsura da! And this is not a shit! It's delicious, Ikumatsu-san made this so this is not shit, you are shit Gintoki! " Katsura defended his bowl of soba while taking a sip.

A Smirking Sadist can be seen while recording the really complicated situation the group was in. " This isn't so bad, maybe this can be a good video for blackmailing. " He sadistically laughed.

" Phew, finally peace. " Megane sighed, exhausted by the sudden turn of events.

" Gin-chan, I regret saying that we need Megane, we don't need glasses only good at making shits out-aru!" Kagura regrets her words in the last chapter. " Really Kagura-chan, after all the sacrifices I've made for the both of you! You're not even grateful! " Megane snapped, losing his sanity. " Shinpachi-kun, you'll ruin your reputation in front of your 'MOST BELOVED IDOL WHICH IS OTSUU-CHAN', aren't I right Patsuan. " After finishing a dozen strawberry milk, Gin lay down lazily and started picking up gold inside his nose using his left pinky.

" Megane's right, you should be grateful to him. Without him, no one is gonna give you your toothbrush and soap to clean up. " Sougo butted in there supposed to be Yorozuya Meeting. Shinpachi smiled at how thoughtful Okita is today even though he's still called Megane. " Okita-san!" He smil- " without him my video of you all wouldn't be a success, so thank you Megane. " Sougo smirked and Megane wanted to burn his head for even thinking that Sougo, the prince of planet sadists, would change.

" You gonna pay for this Sadist! " She roared, making a fighting stance. " I didn't even do anything, I just recorded it. " He deadpanned, raising both his hands up like surrendering in some kind of crime. " For your own sadistic happiness-aru, I demand you, as the queen of Kabuki district, to delete that shit of a file video-aru! " Kagura commanded.

To summarise what will happen to both Sougo and Kagura, well, Sougo refuses to delete the video so, not only Kagura attacked him, Gin and several more who's finnished cleaning themselves attack the sadistic captain. But as if heaven is siding to Okita, Okita escaped the big mess he has done.

A few minutes pass... Umm to be specific, about forty minutes and thirty seven seconds... Finding the Sadist was a pain in the butt so everyone gave up and proceed to eat their lunch.

" To hell with that Sadist-aru! " Kagura said, stuffing food for the fifteenth time.

A raven-haired man woked up and found himself lying on the floor. He got a cigarette which is covered in some kind of mud, it's the shit to be cleared, he stood up and looked around. " Is it possible to rain inside. " Bitting his cigarette then lighting it up he said.

While wandering his gaze around he saw Sougo looking and smirking at his phone. He got up, feeling the need of mayonnaise. The mayo-nicotine freak touched the sadist, with that the sadist unsheathed his katana ready to cut the life out of the stranger touching him casually.

Hijikata barely dodged his attack. " TEME SOUGO! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?!? " he roared. " Ahh, Hijikata-san, I didn't notice you their. What happened to your face, you looked like a monster, ohh well, your a monster to start with. " He started to laugh at the pitiful appearance Hijikata is currently having, it's as if he never was given the title: Demon vice commander. Speaking of his appearance, uhm, Toshi looked like a farmer who fell at a thick mud that dried because of heat, making him look like a mud monster.

Sougo took a picture of his state and showed it at the poor mayo freak. " If you're wondering where the hell this shit come from, asked it to that dog. " Pointing at a big white furball, Sadaharu to be exact.

How did Sougo know, so while chasing Tae and Toshi, he somehow got a glance at the furball taking a shit ( he puked while for a moment ). At that time, Sadaharu is having a stomach problem, Sadaharu has not been shitting for about a week so maybe that's the reason why a lot of shit can be seen. Wondering why and how nobody noticed he is taking a shit except for Sougo, everyone's just blind.

Okay back to Hijikata's terrible experience, " What did you say? Shit? This mud-looking thing dried out in my body is a SHIT?! " Asked Hijikata, wishing he misheard the former first division captain. " Yup, it looks good on you Hijikata-san, maybe start using shit more often. " He sarcastically uttered. " Teme, Sougo! " He shouted running to the halls. " Now where the hell is the direction to that fucking bathroom?! " Poor Hijikata-san, lost and covered on shit.

Author's notes *

Hello everyone! Ahhh! I know! This is a shit of a story! Well don't know why I started writing about shit. Sorry to those whose eating :'( well at the time where Shinpachi told about the snatching game gin, kagura, kamui, nobume are doing, I don't know how to make it funny so I added Shit and when I moved on I also added shit thinking it be funny.

( So is it funny guys? Do you like it? Reviews please! )

So next chapter would be probably about the 'game of pairs', so that maybe will be the start of the shitty game. ( Me who can't stop using shit * sob * * sob * )

FANFIC DICTIONARY:

1. Yorozuya Meeting - uhmm, dunno if they really do this in the manga/anime but my point of view for these is; Gin just reading jump, picking his nose or ears or drinking strawberry milk or all of those and saying nonsense advice to Shinpachi and Kagura; Shinpachi shouting, commenting, cleaning, and saying the details of their job, or how stupid his co-workers are, and also cleaning and fixing his glasses; Kagura, well she might be sleeping or eating a lot of foods or sokunbu or maybe having tantrums saying: I want food-aru!, picking jer nose or watching tv. Not caring about the said meeting (truth be told, Shinpachi is the one only taking focus on this meeting, well only Shinpachi and I called ).

SAYONARA!!