Chapter 5

Girl Meets Reality

"I feel like life is really short, and it's important to enjoy yourself and embrace whatever comes your way, whether it's a challenging day or a great day, just welcome it with open arms. No matter who you are, you can't escape challenges; they are part of life" - Miranda Kerr

Riley waited for Lucas outside of History class to speak to him about what happened the night before. Anxiety built as every person that walked in was not him. One had to wonder, was he avoiding her? Before her thoughts got the best of her, she could see him down the hallway with Zay and Farkle.

Riley knew that they had found out about the kiss because Maya said she was going to tell them. She gripped her bag tight and took a deep breath to speak when she felt arms encase her. Only one pair of arms would grip her from behind and it was her boyfriend, Charlie.

"Hey babe!" He said and placed his broad grin on. Yogi and Billy were behind him and watched the interaction between the two. Yogi smirked while Billy rolled his eyes.

"Hey" She mumbled as Lucas, Farkle and Zay passed by with no words. Riley tried to grab Lucas's gaze but she couldn't. Whether on purpose or not Lucas avoided her at all cost.

"We have class" Riley whispered and pulled from Charlie's grasp. Yogi sent them a smile before he spotted Darby in the class. Billy let out a loud laugh and patted Charlie on the back.

"Trouble in paradise with the prude princess" Billy chortled and doubled over. Riley sent Billy a glare and turned to walk away. Charlie nudged Billy in the arm and Billy in respond rolled his eyes playfully. Riley walked towards her desk and could see that Lucas purposely had his back to her.

She settled into her seat and glanced towards Lucas, who had his attention to Darby. He was not going to make this easy for her whatsoever. Riley barely could pay attention to her father's lesson and tried her best to understand the moral lesson.

However, it was a lost cause because her mind fell elsewhere. She tried to get Luca's attention who had his head down the entire period. As soon as the bell rang Lucas bolted from his seat and basically ran out the classroom. Yet this was not going to stop Riley from trying to speak to him.

"Lucas!" Riley called as she chased after the tall boy and pulled on his arm. Lucas turned around and rolled his eyes at Riley.

"What Princess?" He asked and cut his eyes at her.

Princess? He had not called her that in a few weeks and now it was like nothing ever happened. He made it seem like she was a child when he said that nickname for her. It was filled with malice and disgust, not sweet like in the seventh grade.

"Lucas? Why are you calling me that?" Riley asked as she took a step back from him. Tears pricked her eyes and Lucas raised an eyebrow at her.

"Aww Riley, are you going to cry? Don't cry Princess it will be all ok. Look your Prince Charming is coming over" Lucas said and jutted his chin out towards Charlie. Charlie reached the two and placed an arm over Riley's shoulder.

"Aww protecting the Princess, Gardner? She needs a big bad bodyguard"

"Lucas cut it out!" Riley yelled surprising both boys.

"Friar you should leave my girlfriend alone" Charlie said and squeezed Riley's shoulder. Riley couldn't believe how Lucas was acting towards her. She thought that maybe they could talk and figure out their feelings. Had he taken advantage of her?

"Tell your girlfriend to leave me alone" Lucas commented.

She wasn't a prize to be won between the two of them and yet they talked about her like she was a toy at Coney Island. Did her opinion not matter to either of them?

"Charlie please let me speak to Lucas … alone" Riley begged.

Charlie wanted to comply with her wishes, but ever since that night at Topanga's he couldn't shake that something more happened than a punch and a kick. He wanted to protect her, he wanted to be the one to get all of Riley and now he had been tossed to the side.

"Babe?"

"Charlie please"

"Actually don't worry Charlie I'm just going to go anyway; I don't want to talk to her anyway. She is just dragging this incident for sympathy points" Lucas said and Riley felt heat rise to her cheeks.

She wasn't using the incident as a tactic and Lucas of all people had seen her in the most vulnerable state. She confided in him, he held her, he protected her, he had been her savior and now he was using it against her. Her moment of weakness was not a tool to be toyed with by Lucas Friar.

"Lucas" Riley cried and felt the once familiar prick of tears in her eyes. Her throat tightened as well as her chest filled with anxiety.

"It's a ploy Charlie" Lucas said and cocked an eyebrow up and placed a smirk on his face.

Maya and Zay turned down the corridor and saw the three in an awkward moment. Zay could read the emotions that radiated from Lucas and then Riley.

"Lucas shut up" Charlie shouted as Maya walked over.

"You think that of me Lucas? You think that low of me? You think I would do something like that? Well then fine! Who gives a fuck about what you think. You are still the asshole you've been for the past three years! Fuck you!" Riley said and shook with rage.

Everyone's eyes widen at Riley's words and their mouths fell open.

"Fuck you Friar!" Riley screamed and shoved Lucas as she walked away. Zay hot on her tail followed behind before sending Lucas a glare. Maya grabbed Charlie before he did something he would regret.

"Come on cheese soufflé" Maya whispered and nudged him in an opposite direction.

Riley ran into her father's classroom and collapsed onto the ground. She adjusted herself until she sat comfortably on the cold linoleum floor. Sliding her back against the wall and jumped in surprise when the door swung open. She didn't expect anyone to follow her as she walked away. She let out a sigh of relief as Zay appeared

"Hey Riles" He whispered and she just put her chin on her knees.

"Lucas is a big jerk"

"Riley-

"Zay we kissed and he is treating me like shit. Why? Am I that bad of a kisser? It's like Jekyll and Hyde with him"

Zay let out a snort and let out a long groan. He knew better than to spill his friend's secrets but how could he not Riley was had practically begged him.

"Lucas is in love with you" Zay confessed and plopped down next to Riley. Her eyes widened just a bit and she tried to comprehend Zay's words.

Riley's head snapped towards Zay and she let out a chortle. She couldn't believe the words no matter the times she played it in her head. Zay was not one to lie, exaggerate? Sure. Lie? Never.

"Zay do not say things you do not know" Riley whispered and bit her bottom lip hoping he had told the truth.

"Riles …. I'm not. Last night I stopped by his place with Farkle and he just blurted it out in a sort of we dragged it out of him kind of way" Zay said and smirked.

"So he is in love with me?" Riley asked and stared at Zay.

"Since middle school" Zay answered.

"No he can't be Zay, you don't treat people like that, not if he feels that way" Riley commented.

"Riles he does and I don't know why he acts this way something happened between yesterday and today"

Riley stood to her feet and glower her eyes in anger. How dare he treat her like she was nothing for four years because he was "in love" that was not the way to treat people. Riley threw open the door and ran out on a mission. Zay quick on her heels followed behind asking her questions.

"Riley what are we doing?"

However she did not answer, but instead scanned the hallway for the tall blonde cowboy. She spotted him against a pair of lockers with Darby, Marley, Smackle and Farkle. They had been laughing at some joke and that riled up something inside of her. All she remembered was that she had slammed Lucas against the locker in fury.

"How dare you Lucas Friar!" She shouted. Students stopped in their tracks to watch the short brunette strike fear into the tall cowboy who was in complete shock. Zay had worked his way over to the small group and placed his hands on Riley's shoulder.

"You do not get the right to treat me like I am nothing to you when I am everything to you!" Riley scolded as Lucas's mouth gaped open. He turned to Farkle who had sent Zay a glare. Zay raised his hands in defense and pointed to Riley. Maya skipped over to the two and stood in between Lucas and Riley.

"I couldn't let her not know!" Zay said as Maya pulled Riley away from Lucas.

"Honey what is wrong?" Maya asked.

"Lucas is in love with me, he is in love with me!" Riley said and pointed at Lucas as Maya eyes widen. She had some indication that there was something more to the story, but love was never in the cards.

"Riles not here" Farkle gritted as the crowd had begun to whisper.

"Look Princess I don't know what you're talking about!" Lucas clenched through his teeth.

"That's why you act this way, the way you've been all these years, you're scared!" Riley accused.

"Scared of you? Please you're as scary as Auggie" Lucas scoffed and Riley let out a sneer.

"Lucas you're scared of what we could be" Riley whispered.

"Could? Nope sorry Princess seems like you think this is a fairy tale, and I am far from Prince Charming, but he is perfect" Lucas said and jutted his chin behind Riley.

Charlie stood behind her with his mouth gaped open with a laughing Billy and a sympathetic Yogi. Farkle was right that had drawn a crowd yet she didn't think about Charlie hearing any of this yet. He shook his head in anger and walked away from Riley.

"Wow nice going Prude Princess" Billy grumbled and followed Charlie down the hall.

Riley hesitated and looked at Lucas before she ran down the hall to Charlie. Lucas raised his eyebrows before he turned to walk away. He felt a large weight onto his back and fell on the ground with a loud thump. Lucas shocked look over his shoulder to see Zay with a clenched fist.

"Lucas! That was the last straw!" Zay yelled and walked away with Farkle who sighed.

Lucas rolled over onto his back and could feel the stares on him and could feel the eyes of Smackle and Maya. They showed sympathy and as well of tiredness. The kind of tired he experienced over the years. Smackle reached out to grab Lucas's hand to pull him from the ground.

Lucas smacked her hand away and stood to his feet. He sneered at Maya and walked away from the group of people. Whispered tunes consumed him as he walked towards the exit. Another day of cutting school and he knew he was going to hear it from his Mother. After he walked down the steps of the high school he looked around.

Where could he go except to Central Park and think about what happened. After taking the semi-empty train and buying fruit Riley did the day before. He sat down by the tree where she spun in circles and a smile graced her face. She was beautiful and she couldn't see it. Although he knew it was wrong, he slipped out the diary that she left with him. Through the night he memorized the words of Riley's subconscious. He flipped to the current month of September and learned of the thought she kept inside. It terrified him to know all of her secrets, but it taught him how to stay away.

September 13rd

Wrote another story, but I am scared to show Maya because what if she reads between the lines. What if she realizes that Violet is really in love with the army brat Boyd and not the sweet loveable Gray. What if she realizes that Boyd is Lucas and Gray is Charlie? I can't give her this story. I just can't! I can't risk this and I can't deal with Lucas finds out. I tried to talk to him and instead he chuckled before calling me a PRINCESS! I can't stand that nickname and that attitude is horrible. He thought I didn't hear him whisper to the other boys that he couldn't believe he used to be friends with such a bitch. I cried for twenty minutes in a stall and avoid lunch. Wasn't like I deserved to eat anyway. I had to lose weight for homecoming.

September 14th

Gave Maya the new chapter for Violet and Peaches and she loved it. Tonight I write early because I have to endure the Homecoming game with Lucas "The Jerk" Friar. He doesn't talk to me and when he does, he calls me Princess. Oh I despise that name and that smirk he gets. I ate a banana and I feel sick to my stomach. Why would my mother own a bakery? Crap someone is in the front.

Lucas froze as he read about the night Riley was attacked. He didn't know how much he affected her life in one way or another. To keep her out of his life he had thought his idea was brilliant. Hesitant but curious, he flipped the page to read the entries after that night.

September 25th

I can't sleep because I feel his coarse hands run between my legs and grip it tight. His weight haunts my back and I can hear his deep breathing in my ear. My eyes ache from tears and keeping them open. Every time I slept I can feel his finger gripping my body and now I refuse to sleep. He controlled my sleeping world and it was affecting my wakening world. He worked his way into my story and he was now known as the Shadow Man. Maya loves him but me … I despise him and what he stole from me.

September 27th

I couldn't write yesterday because I was forced to talk to someone. So I sat in silence. Lucas sat across from me and smiled. He actually smiled at me and then Charlie did. Why did Lucas's smile fill me with joy and Charlie smother? Charlie had been trying to help and instead I stared at Lucas fucking Friar like a sick love puppy. I need to get alone with Lucas and just talk about what happened. I need to know what he was going to say at the hospital. I won Homecoming through pity votes. Fuck homecoming. I have to hurry up I can hear my mom calling me to make me fatter.

September 28th

Maya spent the night while I lay motionless in the same spot. She tried to keep me entertained and stuff pizza in my mouth. Two slices swirled down the toilet and I felt better. Now the nightmares began and I couldn't let her see how these nightmares consumed my every thought. How his hands tightened on my legs and my skirt been removed from my skin. I clutched the sheets and I knew Maya felt it but we both stood quiet. So I got up from the bed and sat at the Bay Window. I write in you because who else can understand? I feel like escaping from the world and the only person I want to be by my side is pitying me. Lucas.

September 29th

Lucas saved me last night. In my dream, of course. Shadow Man was about to hurt me when Lucas pushed him off of me. I could feel his warmth as he wrapped his arms around me. He whispered he was always there for me and he apologized for the three years. Why does that make my heart skip a beat? Charlie is texting me and reminding me he loves me, but do I love him? He was always by my side through thick and thin and Lucas … not at all! Why am I so confused?

Lucas closed the journal and placed the book under his chin and groaned. He didn't want to get upset, but he did. Tears streamed down his face and he could feel the vibrations of his phone. Tears wiped with the sleeve of his shirt he pulled the phone from his pocket. Farkle's name illuminated the screen and followed by a text message.

Topangas 4 PM BE THERE!

Instead of sending a message back, he put his phone to sleep. He knew his friends would be upset, but he wasn't going to be stuck in a room with Riley. If they made them talk and he had to look at her knew he caused her all that pain and knew her deepest secrets he would break. It was easier to be an asshole and avoid her. It was the best thing for the both of them and he knew that.

His phone vibrated again and this time Maya's name illuminated across.

Riley is gone again! Is she with you?

Riley had to stop this act of disappearance and worry his friends. Although he wanted to respond back but he stopped himself. He stood up from his seat and looked around the park. The weather still warm had people on their lunch break enjoying the warm scenery. All he wanted at that moment was for Riley to twirl in front of him and he would tell her that she was beautiful just the ways she was and that he would always protect her. Vibrations brought him out of his thoughts. It was Maya again.

Lucas?

As he bit his lip as he texted her back and put his phone on do not disturb mode.

She's not with me, but I will meet you guys at Topangas. Maya whatever happens later, just let it happen. Ok!

Lucas looked around once more and decided it was best to walk the way to Topanga's so he can practice what he is going to say.