Just as he watched Nami and Usopp leave their ship in search of a shipwright, he heard something heavy slumping on the deck behind him.
He turned around in tense anticipation of anything other than what he was about to see with admittedly some sort of guilty pleasure: the soaking wet swordsman, who was kneeling against the railing breathing heavily and had probably just climbed out of the water.
"I was beginning to think you had drowned.", Sanji said looking down at the heaving swordsman, not being able to suppress the tiny amount of concern for his crewmate that crept up in his gaze. He really did look like he almost drowned. Green hair lay wet on his forehead and his face looked strained and strangely pale.
"Fuck ... off", Zoro shot back in a hoarse voice. He was bent over the railing, coughing and retching pitifully, straining to expel the remaining water from his lungs.
Reassured by the insult that the idiot was all right and just stupid as usual, Sanji turned on his heels and headed for the lower deck.
"Pff, whatever. Now that you're in the land of the living again, I'll leave it up to your sorry ass to guard the ship.", he called over his shoulder, "I'm going to take a look at the leak that has Nami so worried." Without waiting for an answer from the greenhaired swordsman, the blond cook disappeared inside the ship.
Not that Zoro was in any position to respond. He was far too busy drawing breath into his maltreated lungs.
"Shit.", he mumbled as he leaned back against the railing, closing his eyes tiredly. He must have lost consciousness for a few seconds when his head had collided with Luffy's and he had gone overboard, because by the time he came to again, he had already inhaled a whole lot of dirty harbor water. He swallowed hard. The foul taste of it still lingered in his mouth.
This time, he would absolutely kill Luffy for this, he decided as his fingers reached for his swords. Two of them were in their rightful place on his hip. Wado was still firmly in his hand. Carefully, he slid it into its sheath and slumped back against the railing. He would take care of Luffy later, he thought, yawning. First he needed a short nap.
"Zoro is still standing.", said the voice of the troublemaker in question, and Zoro opened one eye slightly to look at his captain, who stood a few meters in front of him, staring strangely at the swordsman.
"So?" Zoro retorted as his hand instinctively sought for Wado.
He couldn't put a finger on it, but there was something weird about his captain that made Zoro feel uneasy. There was something cold and hard in the way Luffy looked at him, as if he was a total stranger. Zoro frowned. That was definitely new.
"So I will have to do better." , Luffy simply stated and without further ado he stretched his hand backwards.
Zoro's eyes widened in surprise. He had spent enough time with Luffy to recognize his attacks.
"Gumo Gumo no pistol!"
Just in time, Zoro had rolled to the side as Luffy's rubber fist hit the railing where he had last been sitting.
"Oi, Luffy, cut the crap!", Zoro shouted in a hoarse voice, unsure what else to do, "What the hell has gotten into you?"
If Luffy had heard him, he did not react. With a bright pop, the stretched rubber arm snapped back to its original size and the look Luffy gave him sent an involuntary shiver down the confused swordsman's spine. Why the hell did Luffy look like he wanted to murder him?
Not taking his eyes off his captain for a second, Zoro noticed out of the corner of his eye how the latter swung out his rubber foot to sweep him off the deck. Yet Again. This time, however, he jumped to the side in time to avoid the rubbery touch. A short glance back uncovered the foot-sized hole in the railing where he had been standing just a moment ago.
"Snap out of it! Or else I'll have to kick your ass!" shouted Zoro, now with two swords drawn, his irritation at his captian's brainless behaviour momentarily overpowered by anger. What the fuck was wrong with his idiotic captain today?
Said idiot, however, seemingly unfazed by his first mate's threat, tilted his head to the side and gave a little chuckle. Then his face suddenly turned stern again, and Zoro subconsciously stepped back as Luffy's grin turned sinister. "Good. I was getting bored already."
Zoro gritted his teeth in anger as his body instinctively assumed a fighting stance. Was this some kind of sick game he didn't understand?
However, his captain didn't give him much time to think about it, because no sooner had he finished his thought than Luffy's rubber hands came flying with more force than before. Though, thanks to the swordsman's split-second reflexes, he managed to fend off the fists that came at him with ease. He moved like a dancer through the hail of fists, his two drawn swords reflecting the morning sun, with the aim of getting closer to his captain to knock some sense into his idiot head. Zoro himself sent a few attacks in the direction of his captain, although only half-heartedly and aimed more at throwing the rubber boy off balance.
Indeed, one of his strikes proved successful in this regard not long after, for when Luffy tried to dodge a well-placed sword attack, he stumbled, only slightly, but enough to take his attention away from Zoro for a brief moment. This was what he had been waiting for. With a swiftness that even trained eyes could barely detect, the green-haired swordsman leapt forward, swords raised high for an attack that would end this stupid fight.
Only it didn't...
Rubber arms connected with the metal of his swords and Zoro gritted his teeth in displeasure as he realized that Luffy had caught himself in time to block the attack. As his trusty weapons dug into his captain's skin, he saw fresh blood of the latter running down his sword blades and for a brief moment it was as if a look of shock had crept into Luffy's eyes as well as his own.
"Shit." Zoro murmured. The attack was only supposed to knock the rubber boy on his ass, not to cut him. Zoro hesitantly reduced the pressure on his swords, unable to either carry out or break off the attack, and so they lingered in this dangerous embrace for what felt like an eternity. With clenched teeth, he looked at his captain, who was staring at him equally grimly.
"Last chance, Luffy," Zoro said, "Stop this. Don't make me hurt you!" Even though he was most likely making empty threats, he tried to give them enough emphasis to deliver them as seriously as possible.
Luffy cocked his head sideways with a familiar joyful grin, and Zoro felt a wave of relief creeping into his mistrustful mind. Did he finally manage to get through to his friend? Did Luffy finally snap out of whatever was going on?
Suddenly, something rubbery but hard collided with his chest and he was thrown backwards, faster than he could react. "Fuck," Zoro groaned as he landed hard on his back on the deck a few meters away, and the impact took the air out of his lungs. He had let himself be distracted by that stupid grin.
Across the deck, Luffy stood puffed up like a ball next to the mast and laughed heartily, as if he was having the time of his life. So, Luffy had been able to shake him off by inflating himself, Zoro concluded.
"Stop this?" Luffy exclaimed, "Never! Fighting Zoro is just too much fun!"
"What the hell are you talking about?" Zoro shouted, a vein protruding from his forehead in anger. He gritted his teeth hard so as not to throw any more nasty words at his captain. There was no point. Luffy had obviously gone mad.
The swordsman shook his head quietly, his body protesting as he heaved himself up. Then he gripped his swords tighter in his hand and turned to his captain: "Oi Luffy. I won't hold back anymore. Don't say afterwards I didn't warn you."
Again, his words were greeted by that cheeky grin from the rubber boy, who rubbed his fists in high anticipation. "Bring it on. I've been waiting for this."
Zoro merely grunted in reply. This time, he didn't wait for Luffy to attack him. He produced a small whirlwind with quick, targeted sword blows, hurling the rubber boy high into the air. Luffy also wasted no time and attacked the swordsman from the air with his outstretched fists, which, however, only hit the deck as the latter skillfully dodged the attacks.
At that exact moment, Sanji chose to make an appearance on the deck from below, a mixture of anger and disbelief on his face. "What on earth do you morons think you're doing?", he shouted, "Can't you behave for a few minutes without destroying the ship?"
Zoro's attention immediately shifted to the cook, which he regretted almost instantly as a rubbery blur hit him hard in the stomach and forcefully threw him backwards. Beneath his already battered back and head, he felt wood cracking as he crashed through the cabin walls and into the railing beyond. He tried moving and getting up but a sharp pain in his skull send him back down. Something was very wrong, he thought with a fuzzy mind, barely aware of something warm running along his temple. All of a sudden, he found it increasingly difficult to keep his eyes open. "That's not good.", he managed to grasp one coherent thought. Then, he was plunged into a calming darkness.