A clanking could be heard from the marketplace, its echo shaking across the asphalt.

"Shit, those morons!" Sanji hastily stumbled to his feet. As he did so, the freshly lit cigarette dangling in his mouth protested against the quick movement. Usopp rummaged just as frantically in his pocket beside him, mumbling something about finding the right projectile for his slingshot and that unpredictable events were no problem for a battle-hardened sniper like him.

"Right." Sanji gritted his teeth and almost crushed his cigarette. "Unpredictable, my arse."

It had been quite predictable from the start, if you asked him, that stake-outs with airheads like Luffy and Zoro could only go wrong.

He sighed. Being one of the only voices of reason in his own crew was a tough fate.

He was suddenly grabbed by the arm by the owner of the other voice of reason in his crew, just as he was about to rush down to the marketplace.

"Sanji-kun. Wait."

The sweetness of her voice flowed through his body like warm honey and he felt the tension and anger instantly drain from him.

"Let's not push our luck." Nami's voice trembled slightly and Sanji did his best to keep his knees from buckling and from wrapping her in his warm embrace. "Well, not any more anyway. Luffy and Zoro are already there now and that can't be helped, but ... let's try not to let this turn into a real battle in the middle of the city in front of the townsfolk. Maybe... maybe we can ... intimidate them into leaving. At least we can try before we bash each other's heads in, right?"

Sanji smiled and took Nami's hand in his before pressing a gentle kiss to the back of her hand. "That sounds like a good plan, Nami-san. Let's do that!"

No fighting the bad guys. He could do that. After all, she didn't say anything about not beating up the stupid mosshead for being a total dumbass. He couldn't promise anything in that regard.

Nami nodded and reached for her weapon, the wooden bo staff, which she wielded more accurately than any other, at least according to Sanji. The navigator and the cook exchanged a short look, then quickly followed their nakama to the marketplace.

They soon realised what had caused the clanking noise they had heard. The idiot swordsman was standing in front of this Ildur guy with the weird hair, who was still holding the mayor by the throat, and had one of his swords pointed at the redhead's throat. If Ildur hadn't blocked the sword with his hand, which shone strangely metallic in the sun, he would probably be a head shorter now.

Pff, going straight for the bandit leader's head. Sanji broke into a slight grin. What a show-off.

If Zoro had noticed their arrival, he didn't let on, his gaze focussed intently on his counterpart. Only Luffy gave them a friendly look and waved so eagerly that it was almost dizzying to watch.

"Mhh, that was a close one!" Ildur said sounding unimpressed and turned his fiery red eyes on the green-haired swordsman, "And who are you supposed to be?"

"Yes, Marimo!" teased Sanji with a grin, "Don't you know that you normally greet strangers first instead of instantly holding a knife to their throats? With, you know, words? Or have you already forgotten how to do that with all the beatings on your head?"

Zoro remained in his position with the tip of his sword at the enemy's throat. A slight twitch ran through his body, revealing that he had caught his nakama's provocation.

"Shut up." Zoro gritted as the veins on his hands and forehead popped out to the extreme, "Shitty cook! Why are you even here? This isn't for the sensitive, go back behind the bush!"

Sanji was seething inside. He hated it when Zoro portrayed him as a wimp in front of Nami-san. Strictly speaking, right now he had even done it in front of their enemies, but it was surely more important what Nami-san thought of him. He stole a quick glance in the direction of their navigator, who had her lips pressed together and the bo staff clutched tightly in her hand. Sanji then decided to restrain himself and shot back in a more harmless manner:

"Yeah, that's where we all are supposed to be now, but you two had to run off again. Now, someone has to make sure you don't get yourselves killed like fucking brainless idiots, though I don't really care if you do. In fact, please do. Then I won't have to put up with that stupid moss-headed face of yours any longer."

He didn't mean that. Well, maybe he did. As of right now, the swordsman was really getting on his nerves.

Ildur, who had involuntarily witnessed their exchange, raised a pale brow, while the sun mirrored itself in his single-lens sunglasses.

"Behind the bush?" His eyes darted around the area until they caught on the shrub that had actually served as their hiding place. Oh, their bad luck. Of course, there was only one speck of greenery in this miserable environment. "Well, well, well. So that's where you come from!"

Then Ildur turned his gaze to Zoro, who still hadn't moved, and began to grin like a maniac. For some reason, this made the scar on his cheek and mouth even more noticeable.

"Don't tell me you were lying in ambush for us behind that pathetic clump. Ha, now that'd be something! I was wondering just where you got the nerve to do this, Ulfric! Turns out you were conspiring against us with those kids. Ha, you really should have known better!"

For a moment, it looked as if Ildur intended to snap the poor mayor's neck as he struggled to breathe. But before any of those present could react, a rubber hand grabbed Ulfric's shoulder, snatched him from the enemy's clutches and flung him back, sending him flying through the wooden entrance door of the Town hall behind him.

With shock written all over their faces, Nami and Sanji stared after the mayor.

"What the hell, Luffy! You can't just do something like that!"

"Yeah, he's an old man, for fuck's sake! He probably won't survive a fall like that!"

Luffy, however unfazed, stepped closer to his first mate and gripped his arm, which had just snapped back to its original length. In front of the now destroyed town hall behind him, this was probably quite a menacing sight.

"I don't know what your business here is, but you're going to keep your hands off the villagers!" Luffy said with a serious face, looking at Ildur. "Or I'll kick your ass!"

Ildur glared at the rubber boy with the straw hat for a few seconds with fiery red eyes. Then he leaned forward until the tip of Zoro's sword drew blood on his neck, while a sinister grin spread across his scarred face yet again.

"Ah." he said, running a pointed tongue over his lips, "A devil's fruit user. Looks like things are finally getting INTERESTING!"

Screaming out the last word, the fiery red-haired man rushed forward and vanished into thin air from one moment to the next.

The villagers called out in surprise and even Sanji found himself turning to look in all directions as he marveled at where the man had gone. So this shithead had some kind of special power too. He gritted his teeth. Well, that was just freaking fantastic!

Just then, Sanji thought he recognized something blurry circling in the air around their captain and the moss-headed idiot. It was hard to see with the naked eye as it was moving so fast that he almost couldn't catch it. Was that...?

For a fraction of a second, the blur hovered in one place and Sanji thought he could make out something fiery red with great difficulty.

"Shit," the cigarette that was in his mouth slipped out of Sanji's teeth as he started to run. These idiots were right in the line of fire and didn't have a fucking clue! Sanji found himself screaming Luffy's name before he knew it. He had to get to them in time before that red-haired maniac did, before something worse could happen...

Despite the short distance, it felt terribly long all of a sudden, like he was moving in slow motion while Ildur was moving even quicker than the blink of an eye thanks to that damn ability, whatever it was. Sanji swallowed hard. He had to make it, he had to be faster...

That's when the blur that was Ildur suddenly changed direction and Sanji watched wide-eyed as it struck down on their unsuspecting captain before vanishing back into thin air.

"Luffy, no!"

"Zoroo"