Chapter 4

"So, why did you come back to Warfang?"

The air between Kiran and Leah had settled, and they walked along at a comfortable pace as they left the graveyard. A brush of wind rustled the trees around them, and its whispers carried the scent of spring with it.

A teasing smile appeared on Leah's face. "If you had read my letter, you would have known."

"Did something happen in Farleigh?" Kiran asked briskly in order to cover his embarrassment.
"No, no. Nothing aside from what you faced on the road."
"Then why come? Isn't it…"

"Difficult? Yes." Her eye lost some of its spark momentarily. "However, with your arrival, I knew it was time for a change. After corresponding with an old friend, I decided that I wanted to be involved with the world again." Her paws wrung the top of her staff, displaying her clear discomfort with the idea. "I should have returned sooner. It seems that a lack of proper leadership has led to some… interesting beliefs, within my people."

And Amber is one of them, isn't she? A dull ache throbbed in his chest at the thought. He wasn't sure what Leah could do, but if there was a chance she could help, he welcomed it. With a quick breath that shouldered away the ache, he asked, "Who's your old friend?"

A small smile met him. "You know Hunter, yes?"

Hunter? The council member?

"If it's the same one I know, then yes. He stood up for me when I approached the council and convinced them to help me. He's very kind and responsible, from what I've seen."

There was a small chuckle before she nodded. "Yes, that's a good way to describe him. As it so happens, I had a paw in that decision. Hunter mentioned you in our letters, and I may have encouraged him to help you. At the same time, he spurred me to come back to Warfang, reinforcing my decision to return. We've helped each other before, and there are few others that I trust as much as him."
Kiran took a moment to look over Leah with a new sense of scrutiny. If what she was saying was true, then it meant that she must have held some level of authority or influence during her life. Someone like Hunter wouldn't take advice from just anyone, and it made Kiran wonder who exactly she was before her life in Farleigh. Adding to his wonder about her was the fact that she had helped him, even after he had left. Based on what she said, he realized he may never have received the help he needed if she hadn't intervened.
Shame and gratitude battled for dominance as he dipped his head in acknowledgement. "Thank you," he said simply. He understood there was little else he could say.

"You're welcome." Her paw rested on his shoulder before returning to her staff. "I'm glad I was able to help."
A thankful smile tugged at his lips. "So… what do you plan to do now that you're here?"

"Mmm… That's the question, isn't it?"
"You don't know?"
She shook her head. "It's more that I am unsure of where to start." Kiran opened his mouth to ask, but she stopped him with a wave of her paw. "That's not something for you to worry about, Kiran. Focus on what you have in front of you first. I know there is much on your mind already."

"That obvious, huh?" he said with a half-hearted grin.

"Try as you might to conceal it, I can tell." Her eyes creased with mirth at his sigh. "Shimmer's letters have also given me insight I would otherwise not have. I know you and your friends are not in an ideal position."

"That's one way of putting it."

There was a pause before she continued. "If you're willing to talk with me, I may be able to impart some wisdom."

Kiran considered whether or not to share his current problems with her as they shifted course and started walking toward the center of Warfang. He could use the advice, truly, but diving into something so personal when they had only just re-connected felt difficult. Some of his lingering emotions were still present, and they formed a barrier that pushed back against his efforts.

"I don't want to burden you," he said weakly.

She eyed him sternly, making him wince. "I'm not one to be burdened easily, Kiran. I won't push you, but recognize that I am someone who can give you counsel."

"I know. It's just… I'm not used to this. Talking, opening up, sharing emotions." He shook his head. "It's still foreign, even now. That's not to say I haven't been changing, but, well, yeah. It's hard."
Her gaze softened. "I understand. Your life has been quite different up until this point, yes?"

"Something like that."
"Then you've been able to do more than many in your place would. Be proud of that."

Kiran flushed with pride, and warmth swelled in his chest. It felt good to hear that from her, and if he was honest with himself, he wanted to make her proud. It was a distant, yet familiar feeling, and he allowed himself to rest in it before opening up to her. "I'm navigating my new friendships, but I feel as if I'm lost most of the time. I worry that if I don't figure it out, I'll push my friends away."
"Mm. Would you be willing to share more about your friends? There isn't much to say without knowing more. In fact, I'd love to know what changed you. You were a very different person when you left Farleigh."

"I know. I try not to think about it." He held a ghost of a smile as he recalled what he had been, and how persistently Shimmer worked to become his friend, even when he told her off. If it hadn't been for her persistence, would he have become who he was now? "You can thank Shimmer for being the catalyst, I guess. Even though I found her annoying, immature, and loud, she managed to worm her way into making me like her. It was a weak connection at first, but that changed when our caravan was attacked by hellhounds. She helped me in a moment of weakness and fought with me. We ended up getting into more trouble than we could handle, and she was hurt badly in the process."

Kiran shivered at the memory. Even now, the fear of that moment was fresh, whispering to him realities that could have been.

"It was my fault," he said in a whisper. "I should have told her to stay with Strongfang, for my lenience could have cost the life of one of the few people that had been relentlessly kind to me. That shook me. I wasn't supposed to care, but the thought of losing her pushed me to start questioning what I believed. It was hard to do this, and it left me spiraling down a path of uncertainty, but the cracks had formed and there was no keeping my doubts suppressed anymore."

"I wasn't aware," Leah said with a tight grip on her staff, "that Shimmer had been hurt. She didn't mention that in her letter."

Kiran winced. "I know. It's my fault. I've made mistake after mistake, which has caused others to suffer. I wish I could change the past."

Leah let out a heavy breath. "Perhaps not," she said, shaking her head. "If we could change every result to fit our desires, our actions would cease to have meaning. As disastrous as events can be, consequences shape who we are and are a crucial part of our life. Living and learning is the only way for us to grow, though this often happens through our mistakes."

"I must be learning a lot, then," Kiran said with a wry smile. "I've made a lot of mistakes."

"Yes, but the end result is that you're being refined like gold in a furnace, burning up the impurities that prevent you from being clear." Leah stopped to place a paw on Kiran's shoulder. It stopped the chill of shame and replaced it with the same warmth from before. He closed his eyes and placed his hand on her paw, holding it there. "Don't be afraid of the process, though it may hurt. If it becomes too much to bear, know that you have others to lean on."
Faces of those that Kiran trusted came to mind. Shimmer. Strongfang. Nova. Leah. He couldn't imagine his life before them, or how he had dealt with his troubles before. A smile broke through the dreariness in his heart, shining bright like the rays of the morning sun.

"So I've learned. My friends have been there for me when I needed them. I owe them a lot."

Leah beamed. "It's nothing you owe, Kiran. It's a gift that you can give and receive freely. I'm sure Shimmer wouldn't think of it in any other way."

Kiran couldn't argue with that and nodded as Leah continued.

"Now, Shimmer mentioned that you are becoming quite social, so please, continue. I'd like to hear about these new friends of yours."

"Right, well, when we finally made it to Warfang, I was introduced to Shimmer's drakefriend, Phyl. He's levelheaded and practical, which is the exact opposite of Shimmer. He's helped me a few times and cares deeply for Shimmer. I'm not sure where we stand right now, but I do consider him a friend."

"What do you mean by that? Is something wrong?"

Kiran paused. He wasn't sure how much he was willing to tell her and decided it would be best to keep it vague for now. He didn't want her to hear him complain about something that he wanted to figure out himself.

"I confessed something to all of my friends," Kiran said, clenching his fists. "I told Nova, Shimmer, Phyl, and Jolt what I had done before coming to this world. Maybe I shouldn't have, but after my fight with Nova…" Kiran shook his head guiltily.

"Hold on," Leah said softly. "What did you tell them? Why were you in a fight?"

Kiran bit his cheek. He should have known better than to say anything. Now what was he going to say?

"I see you are uncomfortable. I will respect you if you choose not to speak."

Kiran laughed, though it was mirthless. He could say nothing, but he worried that doing so would alienate Leah. Could he risk that after only reconciling with her? Didn't she deserve to know the truth, just as much as his friends did? He gritted his teeth with indecision before settling, deciding that truth was a better option.

"I was caught in an illusion by a dark crystal and killed Luna," Kiran rasped. "She was the closest friend I had in my world." He couldn't bear the sight of Leah's crestfallen expression, though he pressed on. "Then, when I fought Nova in the arena, we almost killed each other. Another illusion, another mistake and a situation that could have ended horribly, though I stopped myself from doing so. It was awful."

Leah was aghast. Her wide eyes spoke volumes, and Kiran hated how she looked at him.

It was a look of pity, and Kiran couldn't help but turn away.

He jolted when Leah's staff smacked his shoulder. She then held his arm in firm grip and pulled him closer with surprising strength. At first, he thought she was going to scold him, but Kiran realized that it was more desperate than that. It was as if she was afraid to let him go, and the true meaning of her grip became apparent.

"To think, I would have cast my affections on a child that falls into such grave situations," Leah said woefully. "Part of me wonders if the Ancestors are testing me, to see if I am truly repentant for my mistakes."

"I'm sorry," Kiran said, feeling his heart break. "I never meant to give you grief."

"Of course not. I didn't mean to insinuate that it's purposeful." Leah's grip loosened and her paw moved to his shoulder. "That's not to say I'm not grieved by what you have done or participated in. I don't understand why you would ever go to the arena. It's a dreadful place."

"I wanted to meet with the council," Kiran said evenly, feeling as if he needed to defend his actions. "Strongfang promised that I could if I represented him there. It wasn't an irrational decision."

Leah stamped her staff into the ground. "Be as it may, you're still a child. You, as well as everyone else, should not be engaging in such foolish activities. The potential for something dreadful to happen is far too high, as you so thoroughly demonstrated."

"I was doing what I had to do," he said sharply. "There weren't any other avenues I could take to secure a visit, and it's not like you were here to offer me another solution. Why are you being so critical?"

Leah's fur prickled, she clicked her tongue and snapped back with a scowl. "There should be no need for a child to throw himself into danger like you have. I thought I was sending you somewhere safe, but it seems that much has changed in my absence."

Even though he knew her anger wasn't directed at him, it still stung. Frustrated, he shoved his hands into his pockets and scowled. "I'm not a child. I've been considered an adult in my village ever since I joined the official ranks as a genin."

"A child in deed, but not in spirit," she said with an uncharacteristically sharp frown. "You should have never been placed in the position that you were."

Kiran wasn't sure what to say to that. Was she right? Back home, he was considered an adult, but here? Perhaps there was some truth to what she was saying, but it still made the tips of his ears burn with anger.

Unhappy with own simmering thoughts, he tried to change the subjects. "Nova is a wonderful friend. She's very wise, and we get along great. It's hard to believe, but I think she's kinder than Shimmer. She takes after her parents in that regard."

It took a moment for Leah to compose herself. She used a paw to gently brush her fur back into place and placed her paws back on her staff to support her weight. "Treasure that friendship. You will not often find those with character that deep."

"I know," Kiran said, nodding solemnly. "She's one of a kind, like the others, and I don't want to lose any of them."

"As long as you continue to grow as you have, you won't. Now, you mentioned Jolt, correct? Is he the same that Shimmer looks after while she's in the city?" she asked, letting her previous vexation slip away.

"Yeah, he is," Kiran said with a half-smile. "Somehow, I've ended up trying to look out for him. It's funny, really. Jolt is clumsy, cowardly and not very skilled, which is exactly what I'm supposed to scoff at, but I've found the opposite to be true. He has his faults, but he cares deeply about everyone around him. I think he spends more time thinking about others than he does himself, and I admire that. I want to be someone that does the same."

Leah hummed in agreement. "He is a unique child, from what I've been told. I have yet to meet him, but I'm sure I would find his company wonderful."

"He'd think the same," Kiran said. "You're kind, and he soaks up any positive attention he can. I know Ruby keeps an eye on him, but I think he wishes he was living with someone more personable."

Kiran noticed the council chambers weren't far off now. His pace quickened until he realized that Leah was not next to him and turned around. He was prepared to apologize for moving so quickly, but Leah was much further back than he would have thought. She had stopped, her brow was furrowed dangerously low, and she stood as still as a statue. A haze had fallen over her eye, and thoughts seemed to drift behind them as she repeated a name.

"Ruby…?"

Kiran was quick to return to her side. "Leah?"
There was no response. Kiran placed a hand on her shoulder and gave a gentle shake, knocking Leah out of her daze. "Leah. Is everything alright?"

A thick blanket of guilt smothered any expression that Leah may have had. "Ruby… Is that the cheetah that runs the Arena?"
"Yes. Do you know her?"

Leah nodded grimly. "She's my daughter through unification. Though she was my son's mate, we weren't on the best of terms. I left when she was grieving just as deeply as I was. I should have stayed, but—"

No way. It couldn't be. A chill ran up Kiran's spine. If that was true, then that meant that Amber was actually Leah's granddaughter. A granddaughter that was currently missing. He shuddered at the thought, suddenly realizing that he had lost someone that Leah must have cared deeply about.

"Leah," he started, feeling his stomach churn. "How long have you been away from Warfang?"

"It's been many years. Not once since my son's death have I been back," she whispered.

Wait. Does she not know?

"Do you… know about Amber?"

Leah turned to him with a sad, quizzical eye. "Amber? No, I don't know anyone by that name."

"This can't be right," Kiran said, more to himself than Leah. His voice was tense, matching his concerned frown. "Leah, there's no way you don't know. Amber is another friend of mine, but most importantly, she's Ruby's daughter."

Out of all that had been said today, this was by far the most upsetting to Leah. She gasped and lifted an aged, shaking paw to her mouth. As she reeled, time seemed to catch up to her as the wrinkles on her face deepened and became more pronounced.

"What…? No. No, it couldn't be. As far as I'm aware, Ruby never had any—" She paused, uncertain, and grasped Kiran's arm for support. "—Ruby and I never saw eye to eye, but she wouldn't—"

He was at a loss for words. Leah fared no better as she fell into her own thoughts with an anguished frown. It was only a few moments of this silence before Leah jerked up and rested a paw on Kiran's cheek.

"I'm sorry, Kiran, but I must go. I need to talk to Ruby, though I should return before your meeting. Hunter invited me to attend, and I do not plan on missing it."

Kiran held her paw for a moment and then pressed it back to her, his chest feeling heavier than before. "Of course. I understand. You've still got at least an hour, so..."

Leah nodded, settled on her staff, and wasted no time leaving. She moved faster than Kiran had ever seen before and he watched her go, knowing that where she was going would only lead to more anguish. He wished that it could be different for her, as she had already experienced so much grief in such a short amount of time, but there was no hiding Amber's absence.

Angry with himself and the situation, Kiran shoved his hands into his pockets and stormed toward the looming building ahead of him. Why did all of this have to be so hard? Were all relationships challenging or nuanced, or was he unique in that aspect? He didn't know, but if they were simple, straightforward, and logical, he wouldn't have to spend so much time thinking about what to say or do. In fact, it would make his life a whole lot simpler and spare him from all those pesky emotions that tended to accompany those things.

Kiran sighed deeply and let his head drop for a moment. He had torn one weed from his proverbial garden, but another was already sprouting to replace it. He would have to keep working to keep things together, and maybe someday it would be clear. He sighed, looking ahead to the council hall, and hoped his meeting would go well. It was all he could hope for at this point, and he felt that his sanity relied on it.

A/N: Hey everyone! I've been cooking lately and have been hard at work preparing the next few chapters! I should have a consistent schedule for the next few months, so get ready for a regular update! I hope you all enjoy, and I want to extend a huge, massive shout out to my beta reader Author-san 9001 for giving me advice, feedback and a good ol' proofreading. Thank you! Also, he has a great story going on that you should also check out. It's quickly become one of my favorites.

As always, leave a review and let me know what you think!

The Silent Insomniac - I really enjoyed writing this chapter because I felt it really nailed home some of the lessons learned in part 1. And to your point, yes, I also desire more scenes to flesh out some of what is happening, but because this is practice for writing an actual book, there is a certain word limit that I'm trying to keep myself bound to and it makes it so that I have to hold onto what I feel is most important for the story. Part 1 almost hit 200k words, and a standard fantasy novel is around 100k. Trust me, I totally understand how you feel, but I have been able to condense and refine my writing, which is good. As always, thank you for the review and feedback!

Dr. Kocktor - I took some time to think about how and when I wanted Leah to return, so I'm glad that you appreciate seeing her again. She's a character that I loved from the start and I have some plans in store for her as we continue the story. And Amber? Eh, she's been fine so far, so I wouldn't worry about her. Like you said, she's fine. (Totally.)