Chapter 64
This Was Not Our Vision And Yet

Sitting outside the doctor's office, Maya couldn't quite keep herself from slowly letting her hand run along the curve of her belly as she breathed in, breathed out… It was her own calming exercise, as she waited for her father to come out and tell her what he'd learned. She hadn't been able to shake the feeling, in the week since his latest incident, that this would not just be a bad one but the bad one, the point of no return.

As her hand kept moving along, it almost kept time, like the ticking of a clock, along with her breaths. Each tick felt like an echo of that afternoon, when Eliza had called.

Abigail had been out with Sam and Cara, to shop for the little kids' Christmas presents, while their grandmother had been visiting with some of her new friends. This left Kermit alone with Eliza and Wyatt. As the boy had been up in his room, playing cowboys versus superheroes with his toys, Eliza had been in the kitchen with their father, looking up ideas for treats in her upcoming sleepover with classmates. Kermit had gotten up to check something in the pantry, while Eliza looked to the bright photos in the recipe book. The motion had just managed to catch her attention out of the corner of her eye, and she'd looked just in time to see him drop to the floor.

Rather than scream, the eight-year-old had gone and tried to shake him awake. When this hadn't worked, she'd pulled the phone from his pocket and called up her big sister for help, as she would be closer by than anyone else at the moment. She'd been terrified, but she'd shown surprising control and maturity in how she'd handled the whole situation.

Leaving Elliott with Pappy Joe, Maya and Lucas had left the house on their way to the Hart home. While Maya had stayed on the line with Eliza, trying to help her check for vitals, Lucas had first called Abigail, and then 911. Soon, he'd given the dispatcher the Harts' home number, so they might get in touch with Eliza directly.

As soon as they'd arrived at the house, Lucas had gone upstairs to find Wyatt. The four-year-old had remained entirely unaware of anything going wrong. Having no choice but to burst his bubble, Lucas had worked to carefully explain to his young brother-in-law that his father needed to go to the hospital, that there was something going on but they didn't know what. After this, he'd carried him out of the house, never stopping in the kitchen so he wouldn't have to see anything that might stay with him. The two of them sat on the porch, out of the way, where Lucas asked Wyatt to tell him about what he'd been playing up in his room. As confused as he'd been, Wyatt had soon started to tell him all about the cowboys fighting against the superheroes, not knowing that they were heroes, naturally.

Meanwhile, Maya had gone for the kitchen. As she'd approached, she hadn't even set eyes on her father that there were arms around her midsection, and a small blond head rested against her belly.

"It's alright, hey, I'm here, I've got you," she'd promised, pressing a kiss to Eliza's head.

Kermit was just starting to come around when Maya got a look of him, laid out there on the floor. Eliza had taken a cushion from one of the chairs and put it under his head. He'd locked eyes with his firstborn, and whatever awareness he had of what had just happened became at once very clear. She must have worn it right there in her eyes. Of all the repeats from her first pregnancy she might have wanted or not wanted to see, this echo of the day he'd shown up on her doorstep… Oh, she could have really done without it.

The paramedics had arrived, and they'd examined Kermit while Maya and Eliza stepped back. Maya had wanted to send her outside, with Lucas and Wyatt, but Eliza refused to leave their father. She'd stayed there, with her big sister's arms around her, until they had him loaded into the ambulance. In that same moment, Abigail had arrived. Sam and Cara had rushed out of the car almost before it had stopped completely, hurrying to see their father. A number of neighbors were standing around now, too, and the scene finally dispersed once the ambulance went away, with Abigail climbing in to follow her husband. This left Maya and Lucas to pack up the kids and follow behind.

They'd kept him two nights before sending him back home. Since then, he'd been forced on bed rest, though he wouldn't have given much resistance even if he could. Every day since, Maya had been there, with Elliott, almost morning to night. Lucas was in the midst of finals, so his having the house almost to himself was not the worst thing, except for the reason of it. It was already difficult to focus on the task at hand when he missed his son and worried for his wife, and their unborn child… The stress weighed on her, he could see it every morning when she left, every night when she returned…

Their house looked so jolly, with the tree and the decorations, but they might as well have been absent for how little Maya seemed to see them anymore. He did what he could to support her, to do what needed to be done while also extending as much as possible to bring her some peace, that she might take care of herself and the baby at the same time as she cared for her father.

Maya spent most of her days sitting on the couch with her father, as they watched television. On the whole, there was nothing physically strenuous about it. Kermit knew she was going to want to be there with him, and she could see how much that knowledge meant to him, but he also did not want her to overdo anything, for the baby's sake. Elizabeth Hart was of that same mind, as she saw to her son and to her granddaughter's needs, insisting on Maya's remaining seated unless she absolutely needed to rise.

She put so much of a strong face all day long though, so by the end of it, as little as she'd really had to do, she would head home feeling spent. She would spend the rest of her evenings sitting quietly with Elliott, taking comfort from his warmth and nearness, and with Lucas, who could hold her and make her feel safe and home like no one else in the world.

All these days, it had felt as though she'd been on a holding pattern, waiting for this day, waiting for her father's appointment with his doctor, so they might get a better idea of what was happening to him. Once they knew that, well… they could figure out their next steps.

Maya remained sitting there, her hand moving up and down the curve of her belly, trying to tell herself that this wouldn't be exactly what she was thinking, what she had been thinking all week. All around her, the clinic was festively decorated, with a hanging scent like pine trees, and cinnamon… There was the faint sound of Christmas music coming from the receptionist's desk, behind her, and she had never felt the slightest dislike for the familiar tunes the way she did in that moment.

When her father walked out of the doctor's office, he came and sat down next to her before she had time to realize he was out, to get up and go to him. She looked at him, words escaping her. What did he say? Last week, what did it mean? It was all right there, but she couldn't string so much as a syllable together. He wasn't having much better luck. All he could do was to put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close enough as to press a kiss to the side of her head.

She let out a very small whimper that sounded like 'no,' and when the hold turned into a full hug, it really felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. She knew what it meant, she did, she knew, but she couldn't accept it, she could never…

"Dad…" her voice trembled as it manifested itself. She turned in her chair, so she might hug him back, knowing he was left as shaken up by this as she was, if not more. Her head was a jumble of thoughts, too many for her to sort out but all the same feeling as though she understood every strand of it somewhere.

Some of it could have felt selfish, if she didn't know he would be thinking the same thing. I just got you back… That was the big one, that one and… and… and her kids. Elliott, and the baby inside her belly, and whoever else might come along after that… Without so many details, she just knew that her son would not remember his grandfather, and the Bee might not even meet him, if… if… Oh, this was too much, she couldn't…

By the time either of them had been able to release one another and rise to leave the clinic, Maya had texted Shawn, asking for him to come over and drive them back. She just couldn't do it. He didn't even have to ask why. He knew the appointment was today, and the request spoke volumes of the results. He showed up, coming out of a cab, to find them sitting on a bench outside the hospital. Maya's fathers had briefly shared a look before Shawn had seen to embracing his daughter.

Kermit insisted for Maya to go back home for the rest of the day. He understood that she wanted to stay with him, but he felt it would be better for her to go and take things easy, as much as she could. He would be alright, he told her. What she took this to mean was that he didn't want to air out the news at home, not yet, and sooner or later someone would look at her and they would know something was wrong.

"Go on, go home. Hug Elliott for me."

So, Shawn had taken them to the Hart house, and while Maya stayed in the car, he'd seen Kermit inside, into his mother's care. When he'd gone back to the car, it had been to find his daughter quietly weeping, trying to steady her breath as her hands lay over her belly, so protectively as to think the baby was the one in need of comforting. Likely knowing better than to think that she might have been righted in a matter of minutes, Shawn started up the car again and taken them back to the house on the lane.

The ride was a quiet one, save for the sound of Maya's crying, her breaths coming in, going out… Maybe Kermit had had a point about sending her back. What more could she do today?

As they'd come up the lane and turned on toward the house, she was down to sniffles, otherwise too spent. She could see Pappy Joe on the porch, and even as she thought how he'd have to guess about Kermit from the fact that Shawn was driving her, she realized he had to be out here waiting because he already knew. Shawn could easily have texted him from the car and she wouldn't have had any idea, as dazed as she'd been.

"Is, uh… Is Lucas back from university yet?" she asked, her voice a bit faded, as she got out of the car and Pappy Joe came down the steps to meet her.

"Not yet, no," he told her, folding his arms around her in such a way that made her want to stand there that way for a good long while.

"Is Elliott asleep?" she asked. They moved into the house now, the three of them, and she really just wanted her baby boy in her arms, wanted to see him smile up at her…

"Last I checked, yes. He's in good hands, upstairs in the nursery," Pappy Joe told her.

"Maya, about tonight…" Shawn asked, before she could start up the stairs. She turned to him. "I can let your mother we'll do this another time, and the Friars, too." It took her a second to remember. Today was Lucas' last final for the semester, the last one before he started in his new major in the winter. They'd been planning this dinner, his family and hers, before her father's fall, before… today… It had just been unfortunate that the two events should fall on the same day, neither side able to change it. Kermit and Abigail had already bowed out, after what had happened, but the Hunter-Harts and the Friars were due over in a few hours.

"No…" she blinked, looking back at him. "No, I want them to come, I..."

"Okay, you got it, kid," Shawn nodded at once. He came up and hugged her one more time, kissed the side of her face before heading on for home.

As she climbed up to go and find her son, Maya wondered briefly if she had made the right call or not. Maybe they should have cancelled the dinner, opting instead for a peaceful night, just the four of them here. Really, no one would have blamed her for it, not her parents or her in-laws, not even Lucas, who would be coming home at last on break until the new year only to find a somber house waiting for him… somber wife… But then when Shawn had mentioned cancelling, the first thing she'd thought was how badly she wanted to see them all, to have them around her. It might not be the night they had expected, but she needed them, and there was no doubt in her mind that they would want to be there for her, too.

It wasn't until she approached the nursery that Pappy Joe's words came back to her. She could hear someone humming, singing very lightly, she guessed, to baby Elliott off in the nursery. Pappy Joe had said that his great grandson was in good hands. Maya had no idea who he had been referring to, had barely registered the fact that he'd told her they had a guest, but then she walked into the nursery. For the second time in a very short period, she would be surprised by the presence of Nadine Zhu inside her house. In this case, it was her friend and former bandmate sitting in the rocking chair, holding her son like there could not have been anything more satisfying in the world.

"Nadine?" Maya spoke softly, and her friend lifted a smile toward her which all too soon faltered, as she saw her blotchy post-cry face.

"Hey, I…" Nadine moved to rise, recalling Elliott in her arms and adjusting her plan. She got up and went to set him down in the new crib nearby before moving up to her friend. Maya caught her up in a good, strong hug. She'd gotten so many of these in the last hour or two, and none of them had been unappreciated. "Are you okay? What ha…" Going off the way she grew silence all at once, Maya guessed she had been told where her friend had been going that day, and from there the rest of the equation had fallen into place. "How bad is it?" she asked, sounding like she'd switched on at least part of her med student brain.

"The worst," Maya could only tell her. She didn't have the details to share, and frankly she wasn't sure she was ready to know them any time soon. Nadine's hug tightened just a bit, careful not to press on her friend's belly. They pulled away only as Elliott started to cry, and Maya instantly went and picked him up. "Hey, Sprout… no, it's alright, I've got you…" she breathed, rocking him gently. He clung to her so much that even if he was too young to know what was going on, she could easily believe that he felt her distress echoed on to him, and he gave and required as much comfort as she required and gave in return. Her little man was enough his father's son that she could believe it.

Maya, with Elliott and Nadine both, ended up across the hall, where the two old friends sat on the bed together, the baby falling asleep once again in his mother's arms. She wasn't ready to go and talk about what she'd learned earlier, so Maya asked the only other question she could.

"What are you doing here?" she asked Nadine. "I thought you weren't flying over until just a couple days before Christmas."

"No, uh, that was the plan, yeah, but I sort of changed those… like, a lot," Nadine explained, looking like she'd forgotten all of this herself, once Maya had come with her news about her father.

"What's going on?"

"This was kind of a big ask already before you told me about your father, so really I can find another way, I don't want to…"

"Nadine, what is it, just tell me," Maya reached out to grasp her friend's hand.

"Can I stay here? Until 'a couple days before Christmas' when I was supposed to get here and go to my parents' for the holidays?" Nadine looked back up to her friend with pleading eyes bordered with something like shame.

"They don't know you're here, do they?" Maya slowly came to ask, as it came together for her. Nadine shook her head. "Why don't you want them to know you're already here?" She hesitated, like she didn't want to burden her. "Are you okay?" Maya squeezed her hand, unable to bear the idea that someone else close to her could have been in trouble.

"I… I'm moving back," Nadine revealed. Maya stared back, stunned. "I'm not quitting school, but I'm leaving the program back in Boston and transferring here."

"You are?" Maya asked. She struggled not to leave all the power to the side of her presently feeling genuinely happy about something for the first time in about a week. "But why?"

"I just… The last few months were just hell back there, on my own," Nadine admitted. "And then I was here, for Thanksgiving… I was so happy to be back here, when I got on the plane back to Boston, I was in tears almost the whole flight." She was tearing up now, just recalling it. "The morning after I got back to my apartment, I sent an e-mail to my advisor. I was so sure I'd have to wait until the fall, but she said that someone owed her a favor, and she believed I had enough promise as a doctor to cash it in."

"That's good," Maya smiled, following the ups and downs of her friend's story. "And your parents?"

"We got into it when I was here last time, about Boston, and Zay…" Nadine bowed her head. "If I go back to them now, I'm looking at a three-week-long migraine and the absolute worst Christmas and…" She stalled at once, catching herself and looking back to Maya with apologies in her eyes.

"You're more than welcome here," Maya squeezed her hand.

"I came early to try and find an apartment. I'm hoping to find something before I let them know I'm in town, even if it's just temporary until I find another one that's less 'whatever's available a week before Christmas.'"

"You can't just take some random place, no way. You can stay until you find the good one," Maya declared with more certainty than she'd expected herself able to muster.

"Are you sure?" Nadine asked, feeling her own surge of happy relief challenged with the ever present weight of this day.

"Like you wouldn't believe. Now, please, just tell your family you're here?" she pleaded. "I know they'll be glad to have you back and… and you never know," she breathed, looking to her sleeping son, thinking of her father. "You should take all the time you have with them while you can."

She took Elliott down the stairs, allowing Nadine the liberty and privacy of her room to call home. Pappy Joe was in the kitchen now, getting started on the night's meal, soon to be attended by the two families joining their household. Pulling his knitted blanket from the couch, Maya wrapped Elliott in that extra warmth, even as she pulled on her coat and kept him nearby. She needed to get some air. Left alone to her thoughts, it really felt for a moment like she'd forgotten how to breathe. She'd been walking along, taking in the December chill for a few minutes already, when she saw Lucas' car coming along the road. It dislodged a sob from her throat for how glad she was to know that he was home again.

Like Shawn before, and Pappy Joe, and even Nadine, it did not take any explanation for Lucas to understand what was going on. He had spent the last few hours – knowing that Kermit's appointment would have passed – twisting every last drop of concentration he had left toward writing his last final as quickly and correctly as he was able to, all so that he could get home as soon as possible. How many times he had almost texted her or called home to his grandfather to ask how it had gone… he couldn't count anymore. And now he arrived, his semester good and over, and there was his wife, pacing the grounds with the baby bundled up close, and that look in her eyes like she was a little girl all over again, and the world had thrown her for a loop.

Whatever they'd learned at the clinic, it was bad. It was so very bad.

In the space of time it took for him to get out of the car and walk over to her, Maya's eyes were just brimming over with tears. Lucas wrapped one arm around her waist, the other around her shoulders. He held her close, with both of their children in between them, one outside and one inside. Whatever happened next, there really wasn't anything left to force him and divide his attention. His whole world now would be about being there for her, to be there for her father, and her stepmother, her siblings, and her grandmother, as they went through this next step in their journey.

TO BE CONTINUED

See you next week! - mooners