Chapter 27

September 24th 1999

Inaction

As soon as she stepped out of the floo, Hermione called out to let Fred know of her arrival and received a happy greeting from the kitchen in return. She placed her bag down at her feet, slipped her shoes off of her feet and dropped her wand on the little table that was always next to the fireplace for such things. She had worn the new shoes for work every day that week and she was utterly amazed at how much difference they had made to her feet; there was no pain, no ache and she didn't get a cramp when she took them off, finally able to stretch her toes. She smiled as she lined them up neatly, brushing off a scuff on the toe that she imagined would have been caused at some point on her trip through the fireplaces to get here before stepping forwards and beginning to cross the room as she brushed the soot from her dress. The weather was beginning to chill now, which meant that she had needed to start wearing more winter appropriate clothing for work. Today she had worn a dark red knitted dress that appeared to be no more than a turtleneck jumper with added length, cinched in at the waist with a wide, brown leather belt that secured at the front with a brass belt buckle that she had charmed into the shape of a lion. It was the perfect outfit to show off her pride for her former Hogwarts house. Not to mention that the colour of the belt matched her shoes perfectly, something that had made her feel a little too much pride at her newly rediscovered ability to colour coordinate her outfits when she had dressed that morning. She reached the wall that held the door into the kitchen and was about to step in, seeing Fred standing in front of the stove stirring whatever was in the pot in front of him, when something caught her eye and she turned to look at one of the many photos that littered the wall. Something about this photo caught her off guard.

Over the last two months, she was all too aware of the changes that had occurred within her life and the many things she had overcome in order to be able to stand where she was at that moment, but she still struggled internally over her guilt. The guilt over Ron's death itself was still pervasively present, though it had been assuaged somewhat by the fact that she wasn't forced to witness it during her sleep every night. The guilt over her lack of contact with the Weasley's, who she had considered family for so many years, was also still present though her dinners with Fred and her friendly interactions with George allowed her to feel like she was beginning to make headway with that too. However, as her feelings for Fred had grown over the last few weeks and with her admittance to George that she had in fact fallen in love with his twin, a new guilt had emerged that had been keeping her awake at night and causing a brand new internal battle to emerge. She went back and forth with her own conscience, trying to persuade herself that it was okay to develop these feelings for someone other than Ron, that she wasn't acting on them and had no intention of doing so, but her mind had forced her into believing that she was betraying the memory of her former almost boyfriend by even thinking about having romantic notions of anyone who wasn't him and this was his brother. His family.

As she fixed her gaze on the photo in front of her, she gulped, watching as Ron smiled at Harry, who stood to his left in the picture. After that, he turned to Hermione on his right and she supposed that she must have said or done something at the time that warranted the glare he gave her. This photo had been taken during the summer before their fifth year, when after Harry had arrived at Grimmauld Place. Realistically, she knew that this was just a moment of time between the three of them that had been captured on camera and didn't pertain to the current situation at all, but watching as he glared at her from beyond the grave did nothing to aid with her guilt. Ron would have hated her, probably did hate her if he was capable of seeing what she was doing currently and knew how she was feeling about his brother. She knew that he had always looked up to the twins, always been in awe of their easy going attitude with girls. She remembered during their fourth year when Fred had so casually invited Angelina to the Yule Ball while Ron struggled to even recognise Hermione as a girl so that he might find it within himself to ask her, how he had screamed at Fleur. He had expressed his jealousy that his brother had seemed not to struggle at all, lamenting that he would never be that good with girls and Hermione had simply rolled her eyes at the time, wondering when he would notice that she had all the relevant girl parts and was obviously interested in him. Of course, he had finally realised… But it had been far too late. They had kissed only once, then he had died to save her life. Now she was here, getting herself tied up in knots over his brother who had it so easy with girls. The panic now filled her and she watched as Ron glared at her once more before moving backwards towards her belongings.

"Hermione?" Fred asked as he exited the kitchen, having seen her begin to back away. He glanced at the spot on the wall where her eyes had been fixed as he watched her, eyes wide and obviously filled with panic, before he sighed and reached out to her, "Hermione, are you okay?"

"I can't…" she whispered, turning her deer-like gaze to him as she shook her head ever so slightly, as though she was scared to move too quickly in case she fell apart, "I'm sorry… I can't…"

"You can't what, sweet?" he asked gently, accidentally dropping the pet name in without thinking but not allowing himself to focus on it while she was clearly very much in a fight or flight state, "what happened?"

"Look at him," she whimpered, turning her gaze back to the photo and Fred slowly turned, watching as Ron performed the same routine he always had in the picture, "he hates me."

"It's just a photo, Hermione," Fred reasoned calmly, stepping closer to her and placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "it's just a photo. Ron could never h-"

"If he saw me, us, this, now," she interrupted him, pulling away from his hand and Fred felt his insides go cold at her sudden reluctance to be touched by him, "he would hate me."

"What do you mean?" Fred asked, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion at her sudden change in character, "why would he hate you?"

"Because I…" she began but stopped short, turning away from him and hurriedly picking up her belongings, though she didn't bother to put them on, "I'm sorry, Fred."

The last thing Fred saw before she flicked her wand and disappeared was the tear that trickled down her cheek. He stood stunned and alone in his living room that had felt so warm when she had been in it and shivered as a new chill hit him, unable to understand what about the photo had caused so much panic to swell within the witch who had just taken herself away from him. Trying to think, he turned back to the photo and stepped closer, dragging a hand through his hair as he watched Ron move inside the frame. After watching the captured moment play out four times, something clicked in his head and he groaned as he watched his little brother glare at the witch. That glare, that dirty look, had ignited the panic within Hermione, the guilt, the turmoil that she had worked so hard to overcome or otherwise quash. If he owned a time-turner, he would go back and smack his brother around the head for the look that he could guarantee Hermione would never have deserved. Hell, if he had a time-turner then his brother wouldn't be dead at all. Quickly lamenting that all the time-turners had been destroyed during Harry's fight in the Ministry, he pulled his wand from his belt loop and held it at his side. Focusing his thoughts on Hermione's flat, he tapped it against his leg and… Nothing happened. Confused, he crossed to the floo and stepped in, retrieving some ashes from the bowl on the table that had previously held Hermione's wand, throwing it down at his feet and calling out her address. Again, nothing happened. The green flames roared around him, he could feel the gentle tickle of heat against his clothes, but the tell tale spinning that accompanied floo travel was distinctly absent and he was still looking at his own flat. He realised that she had blocked his access to her flat and lifted his hands to his face, almost screaming into them in his frustration before he all but ran out of his flat and down the stairs to the storeroom below, coming face to face with a very shocked George.

"Freddie?" George asked, seeing his brother's reddened face and wide eyes, "what happened? Where's Hermione?"

"She's gone!" Fred choked out, startling his twin and causing him to drop the empty vial he had been holding, "she was fine, then she saw him glare at her and she left!"

"Freddie, mate, you're not making any sense," George said, moving from his stool and moving to stand behind Fred, ushering him forwards and onto a stool, "what do you mean she saw 'him' glare at her? Who?"

"Ron!" Fred groaned and George's face contorted with confusion, frowning heavily as Fred continued, "she was looking at his photo, the one from Grimmauld, the one where he turns and gives her a crappy look and I don't know! She just… She left!"

"Did you go after her?" George asked and Fred sighed, shaking his head and turning to lean against the table, "why not?"

"She blocked access." he muttered, dropping his forehead quite forcefully against the wooden surface and George winced at the thud that echoed around the room.

"Right, of course she did." George sighed, rubbing his brother's back with his left hand while using his right hand to conjure his patronus.

Fred didn't hear what George said to the little bird, but saw the glow leave the room before it fell back to its usual dim lighting. He couldn't focus on anything, his mind was clouded with images of her face, so beautiful and so filled with sheer panic. Her eyes, those chocolate brown pools that reflected everything she felt inside, swimming with uncertainty and distress. He had known for a long time that she had been doing a little too well with her climb out of depression, he had known and expected a knockback to occur, but he had never expected it tonight or for the reason that had prompted it. That photo had never been one of his favourites, but he had never been able to remove any photos of his brother because, well, he wanted to see those moments where his brother was alive and moving; no matter the context, he just wanted to see him smile and he had been able to ignore the bitter glare he had sent Hermione's way. But now he realised that she hadn't been able to ignore it and she had taken that glare and translated it onto her current situation. It had re-awoken the guilt that she did so well to quell or hide, it had sparked her panic and he knew that it was time for the photo to go into storage. He kicked himself for not having inspected his wall of photos sooner, just in case there was anything that might trigger her. Filled with self hatred for his own lack of action, he kept his forehead firmly attached to the table until he heard the crack of apparition, lifting his head hopefully before letting it drop back down when he saw his sister stood before them.

"What did you do?" she asked angrily, stomping her way towards them and Fred hissed as she poked him in the ribs.

"By all accounts, he didn't do anything," George replied for him while Fred rubbed his sore side, "Hermione saw a photo of Ron glaring at her, freaked out and left."

"OF COURSE SHE DID!" Ginny shrieked, causing both twins to startle and Fred to lift his head from the table in shock as she pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration with her brothers, "Merlin you two are idiots, do you two just not understand at all what she's going through?"

"Look, Gin…"

"No, Fred!" she snapped, crossing her arms over her chest and raising her eyebrow at him accusingly in the same way Molly did when she had a bone to pick with him, "that girl knows how Ron felt about her, now she's here having dinner with his brother every week and…"

"And?" Fred sighed, turning on his stool and leaning dejectedly against the side of the table.

"And she's trying to deal with that guilt, on top of all the other guilt she feels, on top of everything she's trying to do," Ginny sighed, rolling her eyes when both Fred and George nodded in understanding, turning her glare directly on Fred now, "did you even try to go after her?"

"She blocked access!" he replied defensively and Ginny groaned as she turned her glare to George, eyeing him questioningly.

"I… Well, I didn't think she'd want me showing up." he muttered, pushing his hands into his pocket and shuffling his feet under her gaze like a child being told off for stealing a cookie from the jar.

"For the love of-" Ginny screeched, slapping her hands over her face to try and calm herself down, something for which Fred was grateful, "what's her address?"

"Ginny, I don't think-" Fred began but she cut him off, poking him in the side again and causing him to yelp.

"No, you don't," she chided as she rolled her eyes, "as much as I appreciate that it might be a shock for me to show up suddenly, I think I'm better placed to help her through this than you two morons."

"Hey! In my defence I didn't want her to hex me for looking too much like him!" George retorted, jabbing a finger towards his twin who only rolled his eyes in response.

"Yes, well, your inaction leaves us with very little choice," Ginny muttered, stomping across the room and stopping before the fireplace that almost filled one of the walls. She turned to face them, lifting her wand up to point threateningly in their direction, "now tell me Hermione's address or I'll have you both coughing up slugs for the next week. Do you want to explain that to Mum, or are you going to do this the easy way?"

Fred relented and told her the address before watching her step into the fire and spin away, sharing a terrified look with his twin. His sister really could be incredibly scary when she was angry.