Chapter 36

December 10th 1999

Ceremony

With the announcement of the Monument and the date that it would be unveiled, the entire Wizarding community seemed to gain a collective air of excitement, mingled with a heavy sense of apprehension. For those who hadn't been there on that fateful day, the ceremony would be a cause for celebration and remembrance for those who had perished. For those who had been there, it would be a test of their strength in order to even make it back to the place that held so many bad memories. Some, of course, had been back in the time since and would have an easier time. Some, like her, had tried and failed. Some had refused to even try and would be returning for the first time. The Ministry was abuzz with talks about the evening's events and Hermione had been asked numerous times whether she would be in attendance. She always replied noncommittally, with a maybe or a shrug, but deep down she knew that she would not be going. Fred and Kingsley were the only people she had been honest with about her intention to not attend and they both understood completely, though as the day approached she felt horribly guilty about her choice. She could feel the anxiety radiating from Fred during the evenings and, though he didn't talk to her about it, she knew that he had been hoping she would be there. She apologised profusely and he said that he understood, but she wished she could provide him with company and comfort nonetheless.

Now the evening had arrived and she was curled up on the window seat in her flat, trying to distract herself from her guilt by watching the people pass by in the streets below. None of them had any idea of the turmoil the Wizarding world had suffered over the last couple of years. To them, Voldemort's reign had been excused as nothing more than a freak surge in violent crime that had passed without much issue. They didn't know that the families of those who had been lost were grieving still, or that they were honouring them tonight and remembering their sacrifice. Her mind drifted to her parents, safe and happy on the other side of the world with no knowledge of the trauma their Daughter had suffered, of what she had done to save them. Over the last few days, she had felt a seed of anger growing within her and it had now blossomed into a rage that she didn't know what to do with. She was angry at the muggles below for continuing life as though nothing had happened to her, to them. She was angry with her parents for not knowing her, even though she knew that was her own doing. She was angry at Fred for being so damn understanding of her inability to attend the ceremony. She was even angry at Ron for being so bloody selfless and saving her life at the cost of his own.

But most of all, she was angry at herself because she was stuck so stuck inside her own head, letting her fear and her trauma dictate the way she acted. She was angry at herself because she had wasted so much time being weighed down by burdens that she needn't have been carrying on her own. She was angry at herself for forcing herself into an isolation that had nearly broken her and she couldn't even begin to comprehend why she had been so adamant in her decision to be alone. She glanced at the clock above her fireplace. It was 8pm and she knew that the ceremony would just be getting underway. She threw her head back, allowing it to smack into the window frame as she chastised herself and fought her own stupid mind. More than anything, she was angry at herself for one reason. She was sitting here while Fred was standing in the courtyard at Hogwarts, surrounded by his family who had absolutely no idea of the significance of what was about to be unveiled. He was alone in knowing that his brother was immortalised underneath the cloth that she knew currently covered the huge stone plinth, he was alone because she was so bloody weak and couldn't take action to be there. She should be there next to him, supporting him and letting him know that it was okay. He shouldn't have to make excuses for her to George and Ginny. He shouldn't be there, as she knew he would be, thinking about her and wanting to know that she was okay.

"I should be there." she muttered sadly into the empty room.

What was stopping her? Well, obviously her fear was the main contributing factor. But what was she realistically scared of? Sure the courtyard would likely be packed from wall to wall with people, but why was she scared of that crowd? She knew a very small percentage of them personally and the ones she didn't know were of no consequence to her. Their opinion of her was not important, but his was. The Weasleys would be there, of course, but she now knew that they would likely welcome her back into their fold with open arms. Ginny and George had done so, which reassured her that the rest of the family would act similarly. Even if they had questions for her, which they likely would, she would have Fred beside her to help her answer them. And Ginny. And George. She was worried about seeing Harry again, she owed him more answers than anyone and his reaction to her sudden reappearance caused her the most anxiety but she had always known that would be the case, if it ever happened. Her biggest hang up was being back there, but when she had gone back with Fred they had made it through the courtyard with little issue so… What was stopping her?

"I should be there!" she said more confidently, pushing herself up and away from the window seat.

She deserved to be there just as much as everyone else who was there, if not more so. She had seen more horrors than a lot of them had during the war, had even played a pivotal role in winning and she had lost someone who meant more to her than anybody else in the world at the time. She had lost one of her best friends, the boy she had loved so deeply for so long and he had given his life so that she could keep living hers. His sacrifice for her, his life lost, ensured that she would be able to be around for moments just as this one. The Weasleys being there wasn't enough, he deserved more than that. He deserved to be immortalised in the presence of everyone who had loved him. By sitting here, in her flat, alone at the window, she was disrespecting his memory and everything he had given up for her. As she thought about him and realised this, the rage inside her transformed into something else and she found herself filled with determination.

"I deserve to be there!" she practically shouted into the air, before she pulled her wand from her sleeve and flicked it against her leg, disappearing.

From where she landed just outside the wards of the school, Hermione could see the sky above the courtyard lit up with a faint glow, like an ethereal lake of light at the base of the castle. The air was cold and still, not even a breeze to stir the blades of frosted grass that lined the path towards the bridge. Swallowing down her nerves and borrowing every ounce of strength she could from the determination that filled her, she forced herself to move forwards as she replaced her wand within her sleeve. There was no one else making their way towards the courtyard and she assumed they had all arrived in good time, in order to mingle with friends or otherwise secure a good vantage point for the unveiling. As she got closer to the courtyard, she could hear the faint murmur of voices that grew louder with each heavy step. She kept her eyes fixed straight ahead, worried that if she averted her gaze she would second guess her decision to be here despite everything that had caused her to feel unable to but as she came within ten feet of the archway into the courtyard, she saw the sheer number of people who had come to witness the spectacle. There seemed to be hardly any space in which to move and every head was turned in the same direction. She wondered why, when she heard Kingsley's voice, magically amplified, talking over the sea of people as he began the speech that would come as a surprise, even to the woman that usually proofread every speech he gave.

"Ladies and Gentlemen! First and foremost, I would like to thank you all for being here tonight. It's heartwarming to see so many of you here and I am fully aware how difficult it must be for some of you to return…"

Hermione gulped, feeling as though he was talking directly to her, before she climbed up onto one of the raised sides of the walkway that encircled the courtyard, looking for a group of ginger heads in the rainbow of heads.

"...Many of us lost people during the war, whether during the final battle or in the months leading up to it and I, too, personally witnessed the deaths of friends and loved ones. Tonight's ceremony is a celebration of who they once were and we are here to honour them and the sacrifices they made in order to ensure our safety and the safety of our future generations…"

There, at the front. Eight red-heads standing together. She jumped down from her vantage point and took a deep breath before surging ahead and pushing through the crowd. As they began to notice her, heads turned and she avoided eye-contact, but noticed as feet began to shuffle sideways to aid in her mission towards the front. She completely understood why they were at the front of the crowd, but god she lamented that she had so many people to pass through to get to them.

"...We must never forget the selflessness of these fallen heroes. Their lives may have been cut short, but their legacy will live on and they will never be forgotten. The witches and wizards who gave their lives did so in order for us to live, to continue in their memory in a world free of danger…"

She stopped briefly, flicking her eyes towards Kingsley on his raised stage and she could have sworn he was looking directly at her as he spoke with a small, proud smile on his face. As she watched, she saw him fold up his parchment and slip it into his pocket before he continued. She shook her head, returning to her mission towards Fred and the rest of the Weasleys.

"...We should also remember that in our times of need there is no shame in turning to those around us and asking for their help, just like Harry Potter did when he asked his friends for their support in his all-important mission…"

Hermione blushed as every head around her current position turned to look at her, but continued pushing forwards as the sea of people parted to aid her.

"...Just like he could not have defeated Voldemort alone, no one can recover alone. The Wizarding world has displayed an incredible ability to work together in recovering from the war and I am proud of each and every one of you…"

Okay, Kingsley definitely looked straight at her that time.

"...The Wizarding world may have lost many great witches and wizards during the events of the war, but we have honoured their memory by creating a better world for our children & our children's children. They will read of our fallen heroes in their history books and they will also see this monument each and every day during their schooling…"

Finally, the sea of people parted to reveal a wall of red-heads and Hermione stopped in her tracks as they slowly turned around to see what the commotion was behind them. Slowly, each and every Weasley caught sight of her and she was met with smiles from all of them. Harry, who was standing next to Arthur, turned around last and though he didn't smile, he nodded at her in a way which she knew showed that while he wasn't ready to forgive her without a conversation, he was open to her coming back into his life. She slowly turned to look at Fred, her main driving force for her battling her way here and found his eyes to be moist with tears, though she wasn't sure if they were from Kingsley's speech or her sudden arrival. His lips stretched into a grin before he stepped forwards and reached a hand out to her, which she took, and he pulled her with him until he was once again standing side by side with George. Pulling her in front of him, he pulled her back against his chest and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, resting his chin on her head. She clutched at his arms, leaning against him as she began to shake as the adrenaline that had helped her here began to wear off.

"...They will see the names of those who died for their future, and more than that…"

The cloth that had been hitherto draped over the monument was pulled away and the entire crowd gasped as they were faced with the huge stone carvings of the most notable fallen heroes. None more loudly than the Weasleys, as they looked up into the face of their lost son.

"...they will be watched over by the heroes who, arguably, sacrificed the most. Ronald Weasley, who sacrificed his life in order to protect the girl who he had loved for so long and left behind his family who adored him…"

Hermione choked on a sob, hearing Molly and Ginny do the same. She could feel Fred's chest shake as he cried silently and she reached to her side to grab George's hand, feeling it shake in hers.

"...Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin, who left behind their son in order to give him a better life…"

She heard a sob from behind her and assumed it to be Andromeda, as it was accompanied by the cries of a young child who she was absolutely certain would recognise the faces of his parents.

"...Severus Snape, who spent so many years of his life as a double agent in order to ensure the outcome of the war…"

Hermione was relieved when there was no outcry at the mention of her former Potions Professor. Despite all the horrible things he may have done during the time she had known him, she knew without a doubt that he really did enable them to win the war and he absolutely deserved to be up there, memorialised as the hero he truly was.

"...Colin Creevey, who came to our aid despite not even being of legal age. He gave his life so that others wouldn't have to…"

Hermione could still remember the horror she had felt at seeing the small boy fighting with them and remembered screaming at him to leave, but he had adamantly refused and chose to fight, ultimately dying for what he believed in. She heard a familiar sniffle from her left and turned her head, nodding at Dennis when he smiled sadly in her direction.

"...And Dobby, a house elf who had more heart than any witch or wizard present here today. He risked everything and gave his life in order to protect Harry Potter…"

Hermione heard a gasp from the crowd and realised that very few people knew about Dobby and what he had done for them back in Malfoy Manor.

"...Let this monument stand as a testament to them and every other person who was lost in the quest for the peace we now know. They will never be forgotten and we owe them a debt of gratitude for all that they did. Thank you."

The crowd did not erupt in applause as Hermione had expected and she frowned, turning to see why everyone was so silent. Not a single face was dry, everyone showing signs of their own grief as they stood awestruck in the shadow of the monument. There was silence for a few seconds before she felt Fred shift behind her and looked up, seeing him lift his wand towards the sky as a small light appeared at its tip. Around her, more people began to mimic his movements; Molly was first, then Arthur, then Luna. Slowly, one by one, the entire crowd began to pull their wands and light the tip, pointing them at the sky just as the students and teachers had done when Dumbledore had fallen from the astronomy tower. She pulled her own wand from her sleeve, lighting the same light and pointing it up at the sky. The wave of light rippled outwards until the courtyard was filled with specks of light that mixed together to light up the sky above.