Chapter 37

December 10th 1999

Truth

By the time 10pm came, most of the people who had attended the ceremony had gone home or otherwise moved on, leaving only a few families and friends mingling in the courtyard. Most people had stayed for a while, to talk to others that they rarely saw or spend a little bit of extra time with family who attended the school and as the numbers dwindled, Hermione remained held against Fred's chest. To her surprise, the Weasleys seemed to accept her without questions for now, though she wondered whether Fred had sent George around them to do some damage control as he seemed to circulate around his family before nodding back at Fred. If they found it odd that was was so physically close with him, they didn't allow her to sense it and she just accepted the fact that their questions and a long awaited reunion would wait for another time. When the chill became too much, Minerva invited the Weasleys into the castle for a cup of tea and they gladly accepted, but Fred stayed back with her.

"I'm proud of you," Fred murmured in her ear as he held her, ducking his head to talk quieter and she shivered as his breath swept over her cheek before turning in his arms, wrapping her own around his waist as he pulled her against him and began to gently smooth her hair, "I honestly never expected you to come."

"I had to come," she sighed, tilting her head to look up at Ron's statue and smiling sadly, "he deserved for us all to be here."

"You're so brave, Hermione," he whispered and she felt his chin wobble slightly as he pressed a kiss to the side of her head, "and so strong. I'm amazed by you."

She pulled back just far enough to look up at him, one of his hands moving to the back of her neck and the other, which had previously been stroking her hair, coming to rest on her jaw. She sighed as she felt his thumb begin moving against the skin of her cheek and he smiled softly down at her, his gaze flicking to her lips and hers returning the favour. The air around them seemed to freeze as he gulped, before ducking his head down and lightly resting his forehead against hers. She tilted her head back, nudging her nose against his and their sighs mingled between them as the spark of hope inside of her ignited, blazing bright and scorching hot as he moved to close the distance, coming within millimetres of doing just that before George opened his big mouth.

"Hey, Freddie, are you coming or-"

Fred growled as he pulled his head back and turned to shoot his brother a glare that Hermione thought might cause literal daggers to shoot through the air. In his defense, George was standing frozen in the door that led into the castle, his eyes as wide as dinner plates and cheeks the colour of beetroot. Hermione couldn't help the soft huff of laughter that escaped her at the sight of him looking so thoroughly ashamed for having disturbed what she was absolutely certain would have been a kiss that caused fireworks. Fred turned back to look at her, his eyebrows crumpled together and she shrugged, rolling her eyes as she smiled softly up at him.

"Go join your family," she told him and he sighed as looked between her and his twin, the indecision written all over his face, "I'm not going anywhere, Fred. Go on, go."

"You promise?" he sighed and she nodded, pushing herself up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. She felt his cheeks tighten as he smiled.

"You better hex George though, otherwise I will." Hermione grumbled in his ear and he chuckled, grabbing the sides of her head and kissing her forehead before he turned and stalked towards his brother.

She watched him go, laughing when George turned on his heels and all but fled while Fred went chasing after him. Wrapping her arms around herself, she cursed whatever higher powers may be that they hadn't managed to close the gap between them, but the wildfire was now within her at full force and she knew without any doubt that he felt the same as her. They had so nearly kissed, so nearly stepped forward and would have done if not for the interruption. She sighed, chuckling to herself as she turned and lifted her eyes toward the statue, into the eyes of the boy who gave her the life she was living. He would never age, he would always stand solid as a beacon of strength for the students. He was immortal now, a name in the history books and a face that would be known for generations. But to her, he was her protector.

"Hello Ronald," she sighed, feeling her eyes sting with emotion as she spoke to the boy who could no longer hear her, "I'm sorry to break it to you, but it would appear you're going to be stuck in school for a lot longer than you ever would have hoped to be. But then again, you're probably over the moon to be such a huge hero to everyone…"

She smiled, shaking her head at the thought of herself talking aloud to a lump of stone, but there were things that she felt needed to be said to the boy it depicted, so she gulped and pressed on.

"I've missed you, Ron. For a while I missed you so much that I wished I could die too," she muttered quietly, sniffling as the emotion overflowed and a tear rolled down her cheek, "I spent a long time thinking that it was all my fault, that I could have done more to stop you, but I think I realise now that nothing could have stopped you. So bloody selfless, right until the end… And I almost gave up on life… Until Fred picked me up, literally I might add, and started to put me back together…"

She lifted her hand to her face and wiped the tears from her cheeks, never looking away from his face as small flashes of the last few months came back to her, reminding her of how far she had come. She sniffed, swallowing the lump in her throat before continuing.

"I loved you so much, I always will, and I'm still very upset with you for doing what you did, but I… I think I understand why you did it," she sniffled, smiling sadly up at him, "I hope you would be proud of me. Not for how I was after the war, but for how far I've come since then. I'll do my best to live in a way that would have made you proud, to make sure you died for a good reason. If I'm going to live enough for both of us, I have to do that right… I can imagine you saying 'but Hermione, you have to do everything right' as if it's a bad thing, but I don't think so…"

She frowned, allowing her gaze to drop as she worked up the courage to say the last thing she needed to say to him. It was time to let go of her guilt.

"It's time for me to stop living in the past… I owe you so much for what you did and I can't even begin to start repaying that debt if I keep blaming myself or stay stuck in the past. They say you'll never forget your first love and I promise you that I never will but… It's time I allow myself to step forward, and take a chance on love with someone who…" she gulped, allowing her tears to fall unchecked down her cheeks and off of her jaw, "someone who is here and can love me back. Your love kept me alive. Fred's love gives me a reason to live, enough for the both of us."

She fell silent, openly crying as she stared up at his huge marble face, his messy marble hair and his lifeless marble eyes. As she had spoken, she had felt a weight lift from her shoulders that she had long forgotten was there and by the time she was done, the guilt she had burdened herself with for so long seemed to fall with her tears. Just as she was about to turn away to leave, knowing that Fred would find her later if he wanted to, she heard footsteps behind her. She didn't get a chance to turn before a small wreath appeared at the base of the monument that was covered with white roses. She smiled sadly, also feeling a knot of anxiety settle in her gut, as someone came to stand next to her.

"Hello, Harry." she whispered, too nervous to turn to face him but knowing with absolute certainty that it was him, repaying the gesture she had performed for him at his parents' grave in Godric's Hollow.

"Hello, 'Mione," he whispered back, nudging his shoulder against hers gently, "let's take a walk."

Apparently Ron wasn't the only old friend who she owed an explanation to before the night was over.