It takes you two weeks after your cast comes off before you decide to give tennis a try. You're at the Seigaku girls tennis courts on a random weekend – you know they won't be used during off-season practice – and you lug your tennis bag over to the practice walls.
Everything feels so foreign. You've taken breaks from tennis for injuries before, but knowing that you won't be able to play seriously again – at least in the next few years – shakes your confidence. You slowly push open the court gates and feel your heart start to race.
You place your tennis bag down on the bench and take a seat. The entire courts are silent and empty. Everything just feels so disconcerting.
Your heart is still racing when you reach for the zipper to your tennis bag, but you push through. You grab some tennis balls blindly from the pocket and hesitate as you look at your rackets. You grab the closest one to you and immediately, you feel something in your chest tighten.
You've never felt this before. Your vision narrows until all you can see is your hand grasping the racket. You feel like you can't breath and you stumble back, barely even registering that you've dropped your racket on the ground. Your heart is pounding so loudly that's all you can hear in both ears. The sun seems too bright and even though you're breathing rapidly, you still feel like you cannot get enough air.
"-chi. Michi."
You hear someone calling your name and you swivel your head wildly to the side. You see Tezuka slowly approach you, and you want to tell him that you're okay, but you can't speak. Instead, the effort makes the pain in your chest even worse and you struggle to maintain eye contact.
His eyes widen a little but he continues until he is kneeling beside you. "You need to breathe," you hear him say, but that seems so much easier said than done. He reaches over until he can gently pull your head to rest on his shoulder. His other hand comes up and places your hand on his chest. "Breathe with me. In. Out."
You close your eyes and try to focus on his voice and the feeling of his chest moving under your palm. Slowly, you feel the tightness in your chest start to loosen and it becomes easier to catch your breath. Your heart rate also slows and the ringing in your ears stops. When you're sure you're feeling a little better, you lean back and Tezuka releases you.
"Sorry," you mutter, stumbling back a little. You're not sure what you're apologizing for, but you can feel your cheeks heat up in embarrassment.
He watches you carefully as you glance at your tennis racket and open tennis bag. You don't make any movement towards either, so he grabs your racket and gently places it back in your bag and zips it back up for you. You quickly scramble to your feet and almost stumble, but he catches your arm.
"Careful," he murmurs.
"Sorry," you apologize again, because you're not really sure what to say. "I-I need to get going."
"Okay," Tezuka responds. He grabs your bag for you.
"I mean, I can get it," you tell him weakly, but he shakes his head. You purse your lips but let him help, and turn quickly to power walk off the tennis courts. You feel the lump begin to form in your throat but refuse to cry.
"It's okay to cry," he tells you as he follows you at a careful distance.
"I'm done crying over my tennis," you whirl around to face him. "I can't keep crying over losing my tennis. I need to move on, and … and …" you swallow. Your panic attack today was not a step in the right direction. "I will move on."
"Okay," Tezuka nods.
You hold out your hand and he hands you your tennis bag back. It feels heavy on your shoulders. "I'm going to be okay," you tell him quietly, and it feels like a declaration as much to you as to him. "Can you …" you pause. "Can you keep today between us?"
He nods. "Of course," he replies softly.
You watch him carefully but decide that ultimately, you do trust him. You give him a small bow and thank him before rushing off.
You hear about the Seigaku team's loss to Rokkaku the following weekend. Even though the news is sad – marking the end of the season for the men's team and just short of qualifying for Nationals – it also comes at the same time as the announcement Tezuka and Oishi will be the new captain and vice-captain respectively in the new year. Something about watching both of these men in your class discuss tennis so passionately makes your heart twist and you decide you want to watch their practice today.
You decide to head over to the men's tennis courts, where the team is still having regular practice despite the end of the season. It's still pretty early after class for afternoon practice, and not everyone is on the courts yet.
You spot Oishi amongst the regulars already in the middle of a quick practice match against a red-haired man you've seen in the hallways a couple times. You stop to watch for a second.
"What do you think?"
You almost jump when you realize Tezuka has silently joined you at the fence. "About what?" you ask.
He juts his chin towards the match on the courts. You turn back.
"I haven't seen Oishi play too much singles," you tell him. "But he leaves a lot of his front court uncovered and his backhand volley is still a weakness."
Tezuka nods silently and you take that as an agreement. "He will need a strong doubles net player with him," he murmurs.
You raise an eyebrow at Tezuka. "What about him?" you gesture at the redhead across the court from Oishi.
"Kikumaru?" Tezuka raises an eyebrow. "He is a singles player."
You shrug. "Well, he seems pretty good at the net, but what do I know?" you laugh. "Maybe you guys are putting too much pressure on your singles players. There have to be some good doubles players in there somewhere, right?"
Tezuka is looking at you a little strangely and you furrow your eyebrows at him, confused. He shakes his head and instead walks over to the entrance of the tennis courts to join his practice.
You do end up creeping on the men's tennis practice again next week. Unlike the women's team, they were clearly running full practice sessions despite the off-season. This time, you do see Tezuka when he comes up next to you.
He raises an eyebrow as he joins you at the cage.
"I … think I miss tennis," you tell him sheepishly. "Do you mind if I watch?"
He shakes his head. "What about …" his eyes trail over to the off-season practice drills the female tennis team is running on the other courts.
You purse your lips. "It still hurts a little too much," you tell him honestly.
He nods and turns his attention back to his own tennis courts. Oishi is starting to set up some drills on each court. "We are looking for a team manager for next year," he tells you.
For a second, you think you mishear him. "What?"
He glances at you. "Would you like to be our team manager for next year?" he asks.
You bristle. "Tezuka, just because I can't play tennis anymore doesn't mean I want to be some glorified ball girl. I'm here because I want to watch your team play, not count the number of tennis balls your freshmen collect at the end of every practice."
He purses his lips and doesn't say anything.
"This was a bad idea," you mutter and you quickly hurry away.
Oishi comes up to you during lunch one day. You startle a little when he approaches, but he's easygoing and relaxed when he slides a chair over and you decide to let him stay.
"Tezuka told me about what you said about my game with Kikumaru," he mentions casually.
You wince. "Sorry," you murmur.
"What?" Oishi looks confused. "Why are you sorry?"
"People don't … like hearing about their weaknesses," you tell him. "It doesn't make me a lot of friends."
Oishi laughs. "That's fine. Don't apologize – you were right. Kikumaru and I talked about it and we're actually going to play doubles together next year."
"Oh," you blink. "Oh, congrats. I think you guys are going to do really well together."
Oishi beams. "Thanks!" He leans forwards. "You know, you should come watch our intraschool rankings matches. They're today during practice."
You furrow your eyebrows. "What? Did Tezuka put you up to this?"
"Tezuka?" Oishi looks thoroughly confused. "No. I just thought I'd show you that my net play has gotten better with some pointers from Kikumaru. Why would Tezuka put me up to this?"
You wince. "Sorry. Don't worry about it," you try to wave away his concerned look. "Um, I'll try to come," you offer.
"Great!" he smiles and gets up just as the bell rings.
You do end up stopping by to watch the intraschool rankings that afternoon. Tezuka himself looks preoccupied on the farther tennis courts so you settle yourself down near Oishi's circuit instead. It seems pretty obvious who the regulars for next year's team are going to be, but you do appreciate watching the top two from each circuit dominate their competition.
It strikes you that there is actually an immense amount of talent on this Seigaku team right now. Sure, they had some obvious glaring weaknesses that could use some work going into the new year, but they were still good. Probably even Nationals kind of good.
You glance away from Oishi's court and towards Tezuka's courts in the distance. Clearly, he's already finished his circuit because you turn and he's already grabbed his towel and taking a water break. He glances up and makes eye contact with you.
You tilt your chin towards the entrance to the tennis courts and Tezuka obliges, heading over to meet you.
"You have a good team," you tell him.
He gives you a side-long glance. "We do," he affirms.
"Do you think you'll make Nationals?" you cross your arms and watch the remaining ranking matches play out.
He doesn't hesitate. "We are aiming for the national championship."
His confidence makes you smile and you hide your giggle behind your closed fist. He glances again back at you. "Okay," you turn to him, amused. "Mr. National Champions. I'll hear you out. What do you need me for then?"
Tezuka ignores your teasing. "You can see their weaknesses better than most," he tells you. "Maybe even better than I can," you raise an eyebrow at him and he purses his lips. "We need to know what they are."
You glance back at the intraschool ranking matches and see Kawamura hit his legendary power shot that blows away the racket of the tennis club member across the net from him. It's powerful, but it's inaccurate. You know just a couple millimeters off and he would have swung it out. You glance over at Tezuka and can tell he sees the same.
"Okay," you tell him. "No team manager or other titles. I help with your team a couple times a week. Leave my name out of any of this."
Tezuka nods. "I accept."
You smile and fully turn to face him. He raises an eyebrow but turns to face you too. You point a finger to his chest. "And national champions," you grin. "You promised."
You swear the corners of Tezuka's lips quirk up. "National champions," he repeats.