There was a time in which I wondered. Wondered if I could keep up with the speed of the world without Rukia in it. If I could live without her, without the bond that we had.

I found that I could. From time to time, I did miss her though, but I found that I may have missed what she represented more than I actually missed her. Because she symbolized the life that I had, the life that I thought I wouldn't have again. She changed my world when she awakened my powers, but I didn't have that, so my world changed back. Back to me being powerless. And that…that feeling of being unable to protect the people I care about with my own strength was something I could barely live through. But for seventeen months, I found that I could keep up with the speed of the world.

I know I could live without a lot of things, without most people. I know that. But she…she is not one of them. I think that's why I've always reacted differently when Inoue is involved. Why I was so lost when she was kidnapped. Why I was so desperate to rescue her. Even if it was selfish of me, even if I would die like a dog, I needed to save her. Protect her at all cost and bring her back because if I didn't, I don't think I could have survived. I don't think I could live without her. And that's why my hollow would take over. Because in order to protect me, he would have to protect her.

"Umm…Kurosaki-kun? Do you want to come in?" She quietly asks.

"Huh?" I blink at her, a bit disorientated from my epiphany. "Yeah, if you don't mind."

She blushes as she shakes her head violently, and she swings the door open, almost hitting me. She apologizes and tries to bow, but she jerks back up and winces. I frown as I realize that she's still hurting.

"Ah, Kurosaki-kun. Don't give me that look. I'm really okay!"

I nod, and I enter her apartment. I hear the door close behind me, and she tells me to take a seat and that she'll make some tea for us. I sit down, and I look at her as she begins to walk to the kitchen.

"Why is me protecting you lonely?"

She freezes mid-step, but then she continues on her way to the kitchen as if she didn't hear me. I watch as she fills the kettle with water and put it on the stove.

"I was content being lonely," she says, her back still facing me. "If it meant that I wouldn't get in everyone's way, I was prepared to be lonely, very lonely." I see her head tilt up. "I was prepared to be on the sidelines like always. But…with that Quincy boss, you," she stops and turns to look at me. And she gently smiles at me. "You finally let me fight alongside you. You let me protect you." She looks down. "For the first time, at long last, I finally felt…" She sighs, and she moves to her cupboard to grab cups, "When we returned from Soul Society, I started to notice, started to feel, really, that we didn't have that distance between us from before. Like you weren't so far away." She rustles through her things, probably searching for tea. "You are always looking out for everybody, Kurosaki-kun. Always ready for the unexpected, and that's wonderful." She pours the boiling water into the cups. "That's you, and it's admirable. But when one of us gets hurt," she breathes, and I see her place the cups on a tray. She carefully walks over to me. "When I get hurt, you give me that look from earlier, the same look you gave me when Yammy had hit me, and I can feel you distance yourself from me. I can feel you walking away from me, and I can't do anything but stare at your back." She moves one of the cups in front of me, her hair blocking my view of her face. "I'd rather be unprotected and by your side than safe and separated." She sits next to me, and she shifts her head towards me, and I can see her expression. In her eyes, there is something that makes my inside squirm, that makes me feel warm and weird and different. "If protecting me means that you'll always be too far from me, then I don't…I don't want your protection."

I grab the tea she made for me. Just to give me something to look at while I process everything she has said, as I remember what Renji had said about how I can't protect her forever. "I'll always protect you, Inoue." I keep staring at the cup in my hands. "I'm sorry, but I can't help that." I place the glass down, and I rub my hands on my knees, nervous for some reason. "As long as I'm alive, I'll always try to keep you safe. Because…" My fingers dig into my knees. "Because you are important to me." I hesitatingly glance up at her, and I regret it. I regret it because it's embarrassing. Being this open to her, face-to-face, is so embarrassing, even more so because she's looking at me with so much understanding and acceptance and…something else. A look which I think I've seen before. Seen before but never at me, never directed at me, and I must be imagining it. Imagining it all.

I must be imagining how breathless I feel.

I clear my throat. "But I don't-I don't want you to feel lonely, so, you know, just tell me when I'm being an insensitive assho- jerk."

She laughs. "Kurosaki-kun is not a jerk! Or an as—"

"Hey!" I cut her off. "Don't you be cussing! Tatsuki will kill me if she finds out that I made you into a potty-mouth."

She pouts. "I'll have you know that I already know all the bad words!" She sounds so proud of herself. "For instance, I know the word," she begins.

"Inoue!"

"Fine." She crosses her arms.

I scratch my cheek. "Well, don't look so disappointed about it."

She beams. "So I can curse?" She asks excitedly.

"Maybe next time," I relent. She cheers in victory, and I cover my smile by sipping on the tea. "But if Tatsuki hits me," I warn.

"I'll protect you! Promise!" And she grins, and I can't help but follow suit. Can't help the ease and relief she is providing for me. Can't help that she is making all the pain and distress and despair disappear. Can't help feeling closer to her than ever. Can't help wanting to be even more close to her because of that pull of hers. And when she holds her cup to her lips and says, "After all, you are important to me, too," I can't help but remember the other thing that Renji had said, and I can't help but disagree with him because hearing this, hearing those words and internalizing them, I know I'm not standing in the way to my happiness because I think…I think I'm sitting next to a bit portion of it. Because being next to her, knowing that I'm the one causing her to smile, that I'm the one who she is smiling for, that I'm important to her, well, it's happiness. It's my own happiness.

A/N: And that concludes Hello Halcyon Days…

Just kidding! Not funny? Too mean? My bad. I thought I should try to make a joke because of my absence. Sorry about that. I think I fell too deeply into holiday mode. Anyways, keep reading, reviewing, and enjoying.