A/N: I've been so busy. I'm so sorry! Wah! But I have a week or so of free time, so hopefully I can update at least twice before Spring Break. Bleachfanficfanatic helped me out because my writing is a little rusty and unpolished so big thanks to her! Hmmm…not much to say, but thanks to all you guys for waiting patiently for my story! Thank you all for your continuous support! 300+ comments for 30 chapters! Thanks so much! I hope you all keep reading, enjoying, and reviewing!
Next chapter will be sweet. Trust me on this!
It takes me a whole minute of just looking up towards her apartment before I can make my feet move. A whole five minutes of not thinking, of just walking, of just feeling. But after those five minutes, with the lingering sensation of her arms wrapped around me and the afterglow of the confession, my mind starts to match the speed of my racing heart.
So she likes me. I'm the one that she chose. Out of all the guys that like her, she picked me, and there is something so unbelievable about it. Unbelievable because the way she denied my feelings, the way she thought it was all a dream, it made it seem like she found it so farfetched that I could like her back. It was like she thought I was the one out of her league.
My face starts to grow hotter as I think of how she might see me. She could have anyone she wants. She could have anyone by her side, but she is allowing me that privilege. Me alone. And I let out a self-deprecating chuckle because I had been so bothered about who would be next to her, and it's kind of funny to think that I've worried for nothing. I had cursed the guy she would chose, I had called him an idiot, an undeserving one at that, and all along, the one who she thinks is special and worthy of her is me.
My eyebrows scrunch up together, and I can feel my lips turn down as the heat in my cheeks cools a bit.
She likes me. But how long has she liked me? It must be recent. It couldn't possibly be for that long because the one she really likes is not me. Because the guy she likes has someone else in his heart. She told that to Yuzu and Karin, and that's not me. So she must've given up on that guy and decided to choose me instead. I'm her second choice.
But the heaviness of the box doesn't let me accept that reasoning. And when I crack open the lid and see the chocolate dipped-strawberries imprinted in the white frosting, when my eyes trace the chocolate shavings which spell out her feelings for me, when I remember that she made everything from scratch, that she did all of this for me, I know I'm the one she truly likes.
Which means that she has been misunderstanding. It means that she's been keeping her feelings a secret, carrying the heavy burden of liking me silently, and smiling at me through the pain I unknowingly caused her. Because in her skewed perspective, not only did she believe that I couldn't like her, but she also believed I was pining after someone else.
I sigh as I shake my head. Inoue and I are more alike than I originally thought. We were both pining after each other and thinking that the other was longing for another.
We're both idiots.
Still, I wonder who Inoue thought I liked. No person comes to mind. I mean, the girls and women I know are attractive, but I'm not attracted to any of them. So which one did she perceive to have my heart?
I close the lid of the box and then stuff my hand in my pocket in frustration. I want to ask her! I want to reassure her that it's her who I'm attracted to. It's her. For a long time, it's been her...
I must be coming down with something because my face is on fire by the time I reach my house. There is a bubbly feeling in my chest that won't disappear, and I feel kind of jittery. But it's nice. This feeling is nice. And a bit foreign. A tad familiar. And really addicting.
I walk to the kitchen and put the cake into the fridge. It's a little late to eat a piece, but even without eating, I somehow already feel full. I somehow have a sweet taste on the tip of my tongue.
I scowl at how corny that sounded. Not only am I coming down with something, but I'm slowly becoming like a schoolgirl. Why didn't I feel this way, this warm, when I realized that I like her? Is it because she likes me back? Is that the reason? Is that why I'm so happy?
I blink slowly in confusion and surprise.
I'm happy? Is this weird tingling in my chest caused by blissfulness? Is this relaxation in me, this complete waning of tension that I always carry on my shoulders, unhindered happiness?
I'm so focused on this unusual feeling—unusual because for the first time in a long, long time, I feel free from conflictions and problems—that I almost miss my dad who is quietly sitting and staring at the poster of mom. And if it weren't for my elevated mood, I would've just taken advantage of his eccentric silence and escaped to my room, but instead, I lean against the couch with folded arms and wait for him to say something.
He sighs so heavily that he almost resembles the old man I call him.
"You can't just date her, Ichigo."
As the words confront me, I know I should've just bypassed him.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"She's not…" he struggles with his words, but whatever he's going to say, it doesn't matter. I'm already upset, angry to the point where I don't think I could hear him if he did say something. And each time his words repeat in my head, I grow angrier because how dare he disapprove of my relationship. How dare he disapprove of her.
"It's none of your business who I date." I barely keep my voice in check.
He frowns as he stands. "It is my business, Ichigo. You are my son." He speaks so soundlessly that my anger dwindles down only to be enflamed by his next words.
"She's not good for you."
At that moment, there are three things that I want to do: The first is to laugh because he's being ridiculous. The second is to hurt him because he looks serious. And the last thing is to tell him he's wrong.
But instead of correcting him that it's me who is not good for her, instead of throwing a punch, I just press my lips together and seethe up the stairs, mindfully trying my best to keep quiet as to not wake Karin and Yuzu.
Although I'm silent, I can't quiet down my reiatsu. Just like my emotions, it has a mind of its own, and it doesn't take long for that familiar ache to spread all over my body. And as it gets stronger, I know I have to calm down, but I can't. I'm just not able to do that because I can't understand why he's not happy for me. I can't understand why he's not offering me embarrassing congratulations. I don't know why he's condemning my relationship.
Does he not like her? It seems impossible, but…not once has he made a comment about Inoue being his third daughter like he did with Rukia. And maybe that means nothing, maybe I'm reading too much into it, but it's the only reason I can think of that would justify he's reaction to me dating Inoue.
He just doesn't like her.
I grind my teeth as the ache becomes more painful.
Why? Why doesn't he like her? Why couldn't he see Inoue like everyone else sees her? See how good she is to everyone and for everyone?
Why can't he see her like I see her?
And with that thought, the ache suddenly fades, and my jaw unclenches as a laugh passes my teeth. I run a hand through my hair as I fall onto my bed.
Who cares if he doesn't like her? I like her. It doesn't matter if he can't see her because I can. It does hurt a little that he doesn't approve, but it wouldn't change anything. It wouldn't change my feelings for her. It wouldn't affect my relationship with her, either.
Wait. Wait! Did I get ahead of myself?! Are Inoue and I really dating? Sure, we confessed to each other. We like each other but does that necessarily mean we are dating? We didn't discuss it, but it's implied, right? Right?!
I turn over and bury my face into my pillow.
I was so confident that we were going to be together, but what if that's not going to happen? What if the fight I had with my dad is moot because Inoue and I aren't dating?
No. We are probably dating. I'm just working myself into a tizzy because I'm anxious about seeing her tomorrow. I'm nervous about how our dynamic is going to be. I'm excited to be by her side. And I'm scared…scared because happiness hasn't always been a faithful companion to me, but I'm hopeful. Hopeful and happy.