The Price of Pain
Chapter 12: A Shift In Perspective
Aki was ignoring Ochaco. There was a general reluctance there to reach out to an innocent girl who would inevitably get hurt by association. Ochaco was soft, and soft things died. She was friendly, loving, kind, and giving with few strings attached. She looked for companionship for companionships sake. Aki could count on one hand how many people in her past life who had simply sought her out for her company. She wasn't known to be fun, although the same could be said for the majority of her generation. They had been born right after the Second Shinobi War and had been at the standard Genin age by the Third Shinobi War. Orphans such as herself were nothing but cannon fodder. There was little joy to be gleaned in a life like that, let alone fun, or the time to make friends. She had comrades she would die for, teammates who had died for her, who she missed dearly. She couldn't call them friends. It felt too small a word to describe the people who she had failed so terribly.
Ochaco had none of that baggage and Aki was reluctant to be the cause of it. She looked down gingerly at the numerous messages that was sent to her and pocketed her phone. How would she explain herself to the girl? Would she request to see 6? That would be impossible now since he'd gone from his flesh-sack form to that of an adult man.
She pocketed her phone, turning it to silent. Ochaco could wait, she had her first job to do since her bed rest. Dabi had used up his entire savings on paying the night doctor to keep her alive. Aki intended to pay him back and get them all a better more secure apartment. She still kept an eye on her surroundings as she moved through the city, unwilling to be jumped by her psychotic mother unawares again. The rendezvous point was not at Detnerat Inc but rather in some shifty warehouse by the docs. A private, non-airconditioned office space. Aki entered and was reminded that she wasn't a soldier the moment she stepped in to witness two of her new teammates swearing their heads off at each other. This sort of behaviour would have had disciplinary repercussions in Iwa.
"Yeah, you want to say that again big man? You think, I can't rip your arms out of their sockets and feed it ta yah?"
"A puny little girl like you couldn't rip off a strand of hair on me," the man grunted in response.
Aki noted the two bickering were Dusty Ash and Rappa. She was less familiar with the woman than the man in this case. The Rappa had been somewhat of a legend in the old underground fighting ring, back before it was taken down by O'Clock. He had been the reigning champion for a consecutive year, which was almost unheard of. Most people died or was severely maimed after a few months to continue. Then suddenly he had disappeared. Aki had done her research into the entire team. She knew Rappa had pretty much been off-grid with no sighting of him in the past few years. No villain business, no public conduct.
If there was someone to be suspicious of, it was Kendo Rappa.
"You want to fight? Let's fight?" Dusty Ash challenged.
"Now you're speaking my language."
"Knock it off you two!"
Before they could throw a punch, Alley Cat was in-between them, throwing them both to the ground in an impressive show of skill. The final member of the team, Mr Compress was chuckling in the background, amused by their antics. Aki decided to make her presence known finally, greeting them all with an unimpressed hello.
"Ugh, just when we were going to have some fun," Rappa groaned.
Moriko huffed. "Keep your fighting for the job. You too Dusty Ash."
"Ugh, no need to be a stuck-up bitch. But okay, I'll just pummel him after the job."
"Atta girl," Alley Cat purred, as she made her way around the table.
Mr Compress stepped up, crossing his arms, and bending over in her direction curiously.
"My, my I was so excited when I heard you would be joining us today Ms Steel Heart," he said.
"That's not my name. You can call me Kuroishi," she said.
"My so cold. Your moniker will unfortunately be stuck with you unless you embark on a seriously tough rebranding campaign. It's what you're going by in many circles," he said.
Aki chose to ignore him. If he had nothing of substance to talk about, she had no reason to respond.
"Well, this one has no flare," Mr Compress tutted.
"She's not here for flare," Alley Cat interrupted, "she's here as our hacker and back-up muscle. Now if everyone can stop your school yard squabbling and come around to discuss our plan, that would be fabulous."
Aki nodded, stepping forward and the rest followed a little more reluctantly. Then Moriko began explaining in great detail the many systems in place for protecting the museum's artifacts and exhibits. Destros original uniform was under heavy lock and key because of its value.
"Why not bag some other things while we're there?" Dusty Ash asked.
Alley Cat shook her head. "Each exhibit is kept in a different section and rotated at the end of every shift. They're aware of thieves targeting such artifacts often. However we can count on their attention being on the pink pearl, a rare pearl made from a quirked mollusc. Destros uniform is not exactly their top priority, which will make stealing it a tad bit easier."
Rappa huffed. "Then whoever wants us to steal this fit, wants it for its historical value more than they want it for the money."
Aki nodded. That was an accurate observation on Rappa's part. For such a brute, she didn't expect any level of critical thinking. However, while she had come to that conclusion as well, it really wasn't her business to question the employers hobbies or beliefs. As long as the job was fair and she was getting paid for her work, the reasoning behind it was irrelevant. Alley Cat seemed to have the same reservations, if not in a directly defensive way that made Aki wonder if she had some personal reasons for being involved in this job.
"That's not your concern The Rappa. Just do your job and leave the questioning to me," she said.
"Touchy," the man huffed, but otherwise backed down.
"Everyone understands the plan?" Alley Cat continued.
The group nodded and then the woman turned to Aki.
"You're with me, little cub. I'll need you every step of the way," she cooed.
Aki sighed but nodded. Then Moriko gestured for her to get into the van with the rest of the crew. Aki found herself sitting next to the grey-haired woman.
The mission was going well until it wasn't. Aki had disabled the surveillance system, replacing the real-time video footage with a looping static of the rooms around the museum. She did so hesitantly. Hacking was not something she was adept in. It wasn't exactly a Shinobi skill she'd honed in her previous life. This was instead something she had just learnt in recent years. Her competence was being tested for the first time and she refused to fail. Both The Rappa and Dusty Ash stayed behind as get away drivers and distractions should the need rise, leaving Aki, Moriko and Mr Compress as the only ones to do any entering.
"Surveillance is down. We have 10 minutes to be in and out before security changes their rounds," Aki informed.
The team nodded, fixing up their fake security outfits before making their way in. Aki felt a familiar thrill in her chest, the kind she was used to during infiltration missions. She had forgotten how much she missed this.
They turned around a bend, Alley Cat holding her hand out for them to stop. Aki pressed herself up against the wall next to Compress. The man put a hand over her chest probably ready to turn her into a marble. Aki grimaced at the idea. It was probably for the best though. Two grown adults in security uniforms checked out, but a 14-year-old girl, not so much.
"You're not meant to be in this run," the officer said.
Moriko let out a girlish and sheepish laugh, so unlike herself. "Oh, that's my bad. I'm new here you see…"
From the corner of her eye Aki could see the performance of the year from Moriko. The woman was effortlessly playing the ditzy new girl persona, adding just the appropriate amount of awkward flirting, the kind that buttered up most men.
"Well, I'll show you are Yusuke-chan. But the boss will be upset you forgot your route," he chided.
"I'm so sorry. I-I'll do better!"
And as they walked past, Moriko glanced their way as if to silently tell them to continue as she played distraction. Aki nodded and crouched low until the two disappeared around the corner. It was just her and Compress now. This was not the plan, but if they couldn't compromise then they wouldn't be very successful villains.
"Looks like it's you and me," Atsuhiro said.
Aki pursed her lips but nodded. Technically Moriko wasn't needed, although having her would make the rest of this easy. That didn't stop her. She'd been in more dangerous missions than this. So they continued forward, fast down the hallway, past several expensive displays all locked behind rooms. They had 6 minutes to get the costume and get out. Aki stopped at the door and got to her job, force cracking the doors code. She connected her laptop to the security system on the door. Then she began running the script on going through the millions of combinations to break the lock.
"How long will this take?" Compress asked.
"It will take less time if you don't talk to me," she said dryly.
The man chuckled but otherwise listened and kept quiet. Aki pursed her lips as she began working through the passcode combinations. While it was mostly done via a script and ai, she had some hand in getting it done quickly. The code was like an alien script that kept tracking down on its own, a kind of magic that Aki found fascinating and frustrating. It took a precious 3 minutes for the code to crack.
"224893#9," she said.
Atsuhiro tagged it in almost immediately when she said it. Aki threw her laptop in her bag as Compress opened the door. The inside of the room was bare and dull outside of cameras in the corner of the boxed concrete room. In the middle was the costume propped up in a glass case with an alarm lock on it. For any normal crew, disarming the alarm, after spending the time to get in, would have had them caught by the revolving security personnel. Fortunately for them, they had Mr. Compress's quirk.
The man simply touched the glass box, compressing it into a tiny sphere of silver. He threw it in his hands with a grin as he put his villain mask back on. If anyone saw them leaving now, they'd most definitely be caught anyway.
"Let's get moving," Compress said.
Aki nodded as they ran out of there. It was a mad dash, one that would have been far more effective had she had her chakra. Unfortunately she was running at the speed of an above average teenage girl, which wasn't to say that quickly at all. She ignored the consistent feeling of loss when she thought about her chakra and ran instead.
As they turned the corner, out of instinct Aki grabbed Compress and threw him to the ground. Several sharp objects narrowly missed the two not a moment after. It took several moments of scrambling to safety for her to realise who was attacking them. Some guy in an obnoxious yellow jacket, and Eraserhead. She cursed her luck. There seriously couldn't have been another hero here. She didn't want to fight the underground hero. The other one, she might just kill out of sheer frustration.
Before she could call out and warn them to leave or die, the sharp objects she dodged came back at her from an impossible angle. Aki drew out her tantos and blocked them before they could hit either her or Compress.
"Looks like we're cornered," Mr Compress chuckled.
From behind the wall she heard clapping, and then an obnoxious chuckle followed. "Wow, Eraserhead we just stumbled upon some old-fashioned thievery! Like a heist movie!"
"Hawks take this seriously…"
"Alrighty~ Yoohoo, Villains come out with your hands behind your heads, and we'll be gentle."
Aki scoffed and sent Compress a look. Even though the man was in a full mask right now, he looked pretty irritated by the jovial hero. Fuck that guy, she thought angrily. Anyone who couldn't take a fight seriously deserved to die. Although she would not be underestimating the Hero Commission's golden boy.
"He can redirect his feathers mid-air. But he isn't controlling them now because he can't see where we are," Aki whispered to her partner.
"Miss Dusty Ash, do you copy?" Compress asked into their comm link.
"Yes, do you finally need me," she groused.
"Yes, keep the Rappa where he is. We have pro-heroes Hawks and Eraserhead just in the foyer."
As the man tried to give a quick rundown for their team to come to their aid, Aki refocused back on the heroes. She didn't expect them to stay where they were while they called for aid. Before they could get into her line of sight, she pulled out her gun and turned the corner, shooting at them. The heroes cursed and hid behind the foyers support beams. She grimaced as Eraserhead caught her face.
"Kuroishi?" he asked.
Aki didn't reply to him until she was fully out of sight. "I have a gun and I will shoot if you come any closer. Stay where you are!"
She could hear Eraserhead cursing as Hawks asked him if he knew her. Good they were going to have a little chat. She needed to give Compress a minute before Dusty Ash could arrive.
"Compress, do you have a shield or something?"
"That I do," he said, pulling out a small marble and deactivating his quirk.
Aki inspected the angular riot shield and nodded her thanks. She put away her tantos and took out a kunai. It was a better weapon for deflecting smaller projectiles, although she was better with a longer sword.
"I'm going to hold them off, you hold your ground and run when Dusty Ash comes."
"Will do Steel Heart."
"For fucks sake it's Aki—"
Before she could grouch at him longer, she blocked another feather and decided it was now or never. She ran to the next support pillar, as several feathers shot at her and embedded itself into the shield, one brushing past her arm narrowly. She swerved to her other end to deflect another 3 consecutively.
"You have some skill, villain-chan," Hawks whistled.
"Stop yapping if you want to live," she shot back unimpressed.
Hawks made a sound of mock-hurt before she heard the sound of feathers taking off. He was coming.
"Hawks! Don't hurt her too bad! She's just a kid," Eraserhead grunted.
"I aim to detain," he sing-songed as he shot in front of her with surprising amounts of speed.
Aki held out her riot shield and blocked several feathers aiming to pin her to the wall. Eraserhead darted from her other side, cornering her. Aki ducked and rolled from his capture weapon as several feathers nicked her back.
"Just surrender and make it easier on yourself kid," Hawks said.
"Just surrender and make it easier on yourself kid," she repeated back in a whiny voice.
Hawks's eye twitched and Aki couldn't believe she was gleaming joy out of annoying an enemy in-between a fight. This had never happened before. To be fair, none of her opponents had bothered talking so much during a fight either.
"That's it, I'm taking you down."
Aki couldn't manoeuvre out of her shitty position with a giant riot shield in hand. Both Hawks and Eraserhead were coming at her from both ends. She threw the shield at Eraserhead before ducking past another wave of Hawks' projectiles, before grabbing the heroes jacket and looking him in the eye. She pulled at his Dopamine levels, making the man's breath hitch as his feathers dropped mid-flight. Once she knew she'd sucked the energy out of him, she moved to overload his brain and just kill the annoying shit. The thought made her pause.
He hadn't been trying to kill her. She wasn't at war. This was not a war.
This was not a fight to the death.
She couldn't kill an opponent outside of war who didn't want to kill her. But this was a mission. She wasn't in Iwa. Was this a mission? Did she have to kill him? Her breath caught in her throat for the first time. It was a dangerous time to hesitate, and the consequences were apparent when she felt her body tugged back as a sudden cloth twisted around her.
"Kid… Kuroishi, you need to breathe," he said.
Hawks groaned from the ground. Aki blinked up to see Eraserhead looking at her with worry. Why was he worried about her? She was his enemy. She'd just shot at him intending to hit him. She almost just killed Hawks. Where were the other Iwa-nin? Her squad needed to kill her before she could be taken. They couldn't be allowed to root through her head. She'd give up Village secrets. She was a spy. Protocol said they should kill her if the enemy had incapacitated or captured her, to never take chances for her to get into the wrong hands.
"Kuroishi look at me. You're panicking."
Was she? She was going to die. Her head was lopped off wasn't it? She blinked up as a hand on her face grounded her. Eraserhead was looking into her eyes. Why was he looking into her eyes? Did he want to die? She was dangerous. One look was enough to kill.
"Name three things you can see," he ordered.
The tone of his voice made her comply almost immediately. She looked around, trying to find things. The war field turned into a museum. She could see the door she was meant to get Mr Compress too, and a vase by the corner… probably ancient in nature.
"Y-you, the door, a vase," she said, as she continued grounding herself in reality.
"Are you seriously walking the kid through a panic attack right now?" Hawks asked, groaning as he struggled to get up.
A panic attack? Aki froze. She couldn't panic, not during battle. That made her a liability. She could breathe now, but tied up as she was, she almost didn't have the energy to run. Eraserhead was looking into her eyes, but his hair wasn't levitating which meant he wasn't using his quirk. Aki quickly looked down, away from his face.
"Don't look at me, my quirk will—"
"You wouldn't do it," Eraserhead cut her off, "or you would have done it by now."
"I'm a murderer. I-I will kill you. Why are you helping me?" she asked.
"Because I'm a hero," he said simply.
Aki shook her head. She was confused, tired, and disoriented from the panic attack. Now Eraserhead saying something so brazenly stupid caught her off her guard. Hero… whatever that meant. She was a Shinobi. Shinobi were forged in war, in rugged mountains, in deceit and death. Heroes were… some weird amalgamation of an ideal and a celebrity. But she wasn't a Shinobi anymore, and Eraserhead was not what she imagined a hero to be.
Before she could question the man, a dark figure sprang from the distance, grabbing Aki before she could even react. Eraserhead's capture weapon was cut from the middle, exposing her arms enough for Aki to scramble out of the material. The heroes jumped up as Aki was put down next to Alley Cat in her domino mask and full villain get up.
"I'm sure my little cub had a fun time playing with you boys, but we'll have to postpone the playdate. Toodles," she said.
The room erupted in grey Ash as Aki remembered to put her gas mask on. She heard Alley Cat shouting for Compress, as they made another mad dash to the exit. Aki barely remembered the next few minutes, not until they were in the car making a quick getaway as the Rappa complained about missing out on the action. Aki sat in the back, wedged between Dusty Ash and Mr Compress, barely reacting, until the commotion had died down and she heard her name being called.
"You there, kid?" Alley Cat asked.
"Hn… yes," she said, giving her attention to the lady finally.
"Well, good to see you're still responsive. Heard you were giving Hawks and Eraserhead a run for their money before you froze. That's still impressive. Eraser's one of the best hand-to-hand underground heroes, and Hawks is the commissions golden boy." Alley Cat said.
"Bet it would have been such a fun fight! I can't believe I missed it," Rappa groaned.
Aki rubbed her eyes and grimaced. "As long as we achieved the mission objective, what happened in-between is not an issue."
"Kid's a military fan," Rappa chuckled.
Aki supposed that would be an explanation she could give. She wanted nothing more to be back in her apartment taking a long bath and going to sleep after the day, though judging by Alley Cat's expression, the woman wanted to have a chat with her after. Mr Compress no doubt caught her panic attack in full. He hadn't mentioned it to anyone, for which she was grateful. She didn't need it getting out that she was a liability. She needed to make sure it never happened again.
"Let's do the final briefing back at base and get this over with. I want to shower," she sighed.
Aki had done it. She had completed her most lucrative mission yet, something that would put her in the radar of future contractors. So to celebrate she went to her shitty apartment and stripped in the shower. Dabi and Six were still at work. She was glad to be done with the job which would give her time to finally relax and finish letting her wounds completely heal. The pay would also mean she could finally pay off the medical bill Dabi had covered. It also meant she could get them all to a better apartment.
She stopped herself there.
Why would she pay for Dabi and Six? They were adult men who could pay for their own place. The only reason she was staying with them was because she was too poor to afford an apartment to herself. By all means she should leave them to fend for themselves. Six was no longer a weird looking flesh-sack, and Dabi had always been self-sufficient.
Yet she couldn't imagine leaving them behind. Aki turned on the shower and let the water pressure drown out her conflicted emotions. She'd always thought she was beyond getting attached. She'd been hurt by too many people too many times. She should have learnt her lesson now. Heck even her mother had come back from the grave to kick the shit out of her when she finally let someone in. Aki wasn't like everyone else. She was born in war, forged by it, lived, and died by it. No one could just wake up one day and change that… change who they were.
Eraserhead was wrong. She would have killed Hawks, if she could just get her head straight around the rules for conducting missions in this world. It wasn't the same as the Elemental Nations. Most heroes didn't go for the kill, most fights didn't have the same kind of consequences she was used to. It was worrying how it rubbed her wrong to fight with deadly force against someone who was aiming to capture or incapacitate. She'd killed sleeping Genin, murdered civilians quietly who'd found out she was a spy, taken out men and women in the throughs of waking nightmares like the one Eraserhead had talked her through. Yet she'd hesitated to kill Hawks.
Aki closed her eyes and turned the shower hotter until it scalded her skin.
She remembered the kunai that glided like a knife through butter against her defenceless baby brother's throat.
It had been another world, another life. She had been 5 when she witnessed that. Chronologically 25 years had passed since she watched her little brother's throat be slit by an Iwa Shinobi who would then teach her. She remembered that memory viscerally, just like she remembered how she shook and vomited after killing a human for the first time. She remembered plunging a kunai into his neck at the age of 10. She recalled the way his blood drenched her in an almost endless river. She hadn't known the human body had so much blood…
Aki knelt down and threw up on the shower floor. She watched as the water drained it away, but she kept coughing and gagging through tears. Why was she crying? It had been so long. She'd kept it together for 14 years. She was a Shinobi.
No… you're not. Not anymore.
Her reality came crashing down on her. She was not a Shinobi any longer. There was no Iwa here, no code of Shinobi ethics to follow, no one forcing her to kill, to spy, and conduct honeypot missions. Now that she wasn't just a tool for her village, she thought her job as a contractor would be familiar, that she could play by the same rules, be the same person. She was wrong.
She was not a Shinobi anymore.
If she didn't abide by Shinobi rules it meant that everything that had happened to her was wrong. It meant that meant killing all those people was evil. Like a dam bursting, every vile thing she did came crashing back on her in a wave. Aki had no excuse if she wasn't a Shinobi. Everything she did was on her.
The weight of it was crushing.
A/N
Not Aki realising that when people call her a Villain and she denies it, she's just denying the reality of what she is in the world she's currently in. I just imagined that someone born in another world, playing by different rules would find it hard to suddenly shift how they see the world. For Aki there was never any heroes or villains. Shinobi just did shitty things, and it was a matter of fact of life. But to have everything she'd done be contextualised in a purely good vs evil lens would be jarring.
Of course the world isn't as simple as hero and villain either. But to Aki who has no other moral framework than what was acceptable to a Shinobi, having that taken away leaves her with only the very black and white moral framework of heroes and villains. Jumping from one extreme to the other would be jarring even for the most mentally stable of people. I hope that clears up some of the thoughts behind the character writing here, because I wasn't sure if I conveyed it well enough.