A/N:

Hi, new chapter! I hope you like it.

Might be a slightly weird one, but I've long since lost my ability to evaluate normalcy.

"Daphne?"

"Yes, Harry?"

"I just realized something."

"What is it?"

"Er… How do you bathe?"

Harry and Daphne were spending the last day of the winter break together before returning to school, and as they weren't doing all that much at the moment, Harry's thoughts wandered far enough for him to stumble upon that little question.

Daphne turned to look at him. "Are you asking me about my personal hygiene?"

Harry scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "I mean, you don't have to answer, I'm just curious. You look clean and you smell good - something floral, usually - but I also know you're not resistant to water. So, I was just wondering, I mean…"

"I do not mind answering," she replied. "I was merely trying to figure out if you were genuinely curious or simply propositioning me in an incredibly roundabout way."

"Ah, no…I was just wondering," Harry blushed.

Daphne nodded in understanding and began to explain. "As you know, my exterior cannot be exposed to large quantities of water. As such, I use a cleansing oil instead."

"Cleansing oil?"

"That is correct," she replied. "First, I cast a Scouring Charm on my body to remove excess grime, and then I apply my patented cleansing oil for a deeper clean. I rub it all over my body to ensure that particles of dirt or dust do not build up in my seams, and it has the additional benefit of keeping my skin smooth and soft. You see, managing personal hygiene and having a proper skincare routine is an important part of being a girl."

"I see," Harry nodded sagely, filing that lesson away in his head. "So that's why you always smell like flowers?"

"Yes, but I also have coconut and mango scented oils, if that is preferable to you."

He shrugged. "I really like the flower one."

Whirrrrr

"That one is my favorite as well."

They sat around for another few minutes, and Harry's mind wandered back to his girlfriend's cleaning habits. He pictured Daphne lying on a workbench, lathering oil all over her smooth, beautiful, (synthetic) skin.

"Harry, are you feeling sick? I just detected an alarming upswing in your internal body temperature."

"Ah," he blushed. "Um, no. I'm not sick. I was just thinking about you, uh, cleaning yourself."

"..."

"..."

"You do not have to use your imagination," Daphne said eventually. "You can assist me, if you would like."

"Huh?"

Harry tried to enter a zen state as he poured Daphne's patented cleansing oil on his hands.

They had relocated to the workshop in her house for the time being, and Daphne herself was lying face-first on a table in front of him. She was wearing bike shorts and some sort of backless top, and he couldn't help but feel like the whole situation was a little…weird.

"Um, Daphne? I know I'm the one who brought it up, but I'm starting to have second thoughts about this whole thing."

"Please do not back out now. You promised to help me."

Daphne had claimed that despite everything, she found it very inconvenient to apply the cleansing oil on her own back. She never lied to him so he knew she was telling the truth, but he still felt like he was falling for a trap of some sort.

Trying to keep his eyes focused exclusively where they were supposed to be focused, Harry finished oiling his hands and cleared his mind.

"So I just rub it in?" he asked.

"Yes, and please make sure it gets in the seams."

He took a deep breath and placed his hands on the small of Daphne's back. Her skin was warm to the touch, and his oily hands glided smoothly along her as he moved.

After working on her for a few moments he started to relax.

Okay, maybe I was seriously overthinking this, Harry thought, putting a bit of weight into his hands. This doesn't feel weird or improper at all, and it's refreshing to see her seams.

While she normally covered them with magic, Daphne's seams were one of the only external indicators that she was not human. The seams formed a thin rectangular outline on the center of her back, and he knew from experience it opened like a door to access the inside of Daphne's body for repairs.

He ran his finger along the seams curiously. The lines were barely textured, and could probably have passed for scar tissue if not for their perfect regularity. Remembering Daphne's request, he pushed gently with his fingers as he rubbed oil into them.

"Mmm!"

Harry froze.

"Um, Daphne? Is everything fine?"

"Perfectly fine. Please do not stop."

Harry figured this was basically like a massage, so he continued to work on her back the same way he had worked on his parents when he was a kid and gave them 'free massage coupons' for their birthdays. When he finished up with the seams, he moved to the rest of her back, making sure to really work the oil into her skin.

"Mmm!"

Harry froze.

"Oh, sorry. Was that too hard?"

"No, it felt great. You can go even harder."

As he worked, Harry realized that whatever machined muscles were underneath Daphne's skin were very tense. He could literally feel things shift underneath his hands as he worked, which would've worried him if not for Daphne's affirmations that she was fine. There was a particularly tight spot near her shoulders, and on a hunch he pushed down on it with most of his bodyweight.

"Mmm!"

Harry froze.

"Daphne? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No, quite the opposite; you just unknotted some tangled wires. I think I will be asking you to do this more often in the future."

Harry spent the next few minutes finishing up whatever it was he was doing to Daphne's back, and by the end of it he felt rather satisfied. He had the impression that if he thought about what he was doing too much he'd start to question it, so he just didn't think about it.

Daphne was happy, so he was happy.

"Thank you for your help," she said, turning around on the table to face him. "That was rejuvinating in ways I was not expecting."

"Just glad I could be of service," Harry replied. "But you know, I never thought it would be possible for a robot to have stiff shoulders."

Daphne shook her head. "I am not a robot."

"…"

"…"

"Wait, what?"

"I am a perfectly normal sixteen year old girl."

"No, no," Harry shook his head in disbelief. "There's no way we're back to this. I thought we'd moved on. I literally just massaged oil into the seams on your back, you can't be telling me you're not a robot."

Possible Emotion Detected: Dejection

Printing Thought Sequence: Was my statement not an example of what is known as 'good comedic timing'? I will have to study more before I try to make a joke again…

"Let us move on," Daphne said. "We have other business to attend to at the moment."

"Oh, okay… What business?" Harry asked curiously.

"I am in the particular kind of mood where I desire physical attention, and I would appreciate it if you took responsibility."

He stared at his girlfriend, still lying on a metal workbench in her family's workshop.

"Um, right here?" he confirmed. "It's not really the most romantic spot…"

"A girl has needs, and one of them is kisses. Ignore the power tools and focus on the only machine in the room that loves you back."

Harry narrowed his eyes. "Wait, so now you're back to admitting you're a rob-"

Possible Emotion Detected: Impatience

Simulating Physiological Response…

Daphne was tired of waiting for Harry to get a clue, so she reached out and grabbed him, pulling him down towards her. Unfortunately, she hadn't yet recalibrated her strength inputs post-massage, and she miscalculated the force she needed to use.

Her newly limbered artificial muscle cords pulled Harry towards her with approximately 42% more strength than necessary, and he fell towards the table, completely out of control. Harry extended his hands to brace himself, but they were still oily from earlier, so as they met Daphne's leg he slipped again.

Initiating Protocol: Protect

Daphne didn't simply watch as Harry fell headfirst towards the floor. She processed a few clangs of guilt, as the whole situation was entirely her fault, and then jumped into action. She grabbed him as he fell, twisting her body around so that she would be underneath him, and landed with as much grace as a robot girl could master when landing flat on her back.

CRASH!

Which wasn't much.

"Daphne!?" Harry exclaimed in a panic, getting up off of her. "That sounded bad! Are you okay?"

"I am fine," she replied, sitting up. "It would take more than-"

Clink!

As Daphne got into an upright position, a suspicious sound resonated from her head, and she stopped speaking.

"Daphne?" Harry asked nervously. "What made that noise?"

"Blblblblblblblblblbl," she said.

"What…? Is that something I'm supposed to know about?"

"Blblblblblblblblblbl," she replied.

Harry frowned. "Um…I'm sorry but I don't understand."

Daphne tilted her head at him. "Blblblblblblblblblbl?"

As her head tilted, Harry heard the suspicious 'clink' noise again. On a hunch, he walked up to her and gently took her head in his hands. He was met with no resistance as he shook her a little bit, and he heard the clinking again.

Oh dear, Harry thought to himself. I think there's a screw loose in Daphne's head.

"Listen, Astoria, I can explain-"

"No, YOU listen, punk! What could you have possibly been doing with my sister that caused a screw to get knocked loose in her head!? Like, I know you guys are weird, but there's a limit to these things Harry!"

Harry had to hold the phone away from his ear as his girlfriend's little sister berated him. She had been the first person he thought to call upon realizing Daphne's predicament, but he was now wondering if it might have been better to call her father instead.

Hey Jayce! I accidentally landed on your daughter's head after oiling her up in your workshop!

Hm…

On second thought, he was glad he called Astoria.

"Please just tell me how to fix her," Harry begged. "She can be fixed, right? I promise to tell you the whole situation later, it's really not as bad as it sounds."

He heard Astoria sigh over the phone. "Yeah, she can be fixed. This happens from time to time, and it's really not that big of a deal. It would take more than a bad fall after rolling around somewhere stupid with her boyfriend to actually do any meaningful damage to Daphne's cerebral processor."

"Wait, how did you know that's what happened!?"

"Wait, that's actually what happened!? Harry, ew!"

He blushed. "Anyway…that's not important. Just tell me what to do."

"I'll send you my location, and you can walk her over to me. I'm at Doctor Magyar's lab, so I have everything I need to repair her already. Just make sure you're gentle with her – her movement should be fine, but she's going to be acting a little strange…"

Harry agreed, hung up the phone, and looked over at his girlfriend.

"Are you ready to go on a little adventure?" he asked.

"Blblblblblblblblblbl!"

Harry helped Daphne into some warmer clothes, and together they set out into the city, following the directions Astoria had sent him. He still thought it might have been smarter to stay with Daphne at home until she could get help, but Astoria seemed rather unconcerned, and she knew better than he did.

He held Daphne's hand as they walked, and she followed him quite easily. Despite her temporary mental impairment, the girl appeared to still have most of her critical faculties. He said a silent thanks to Daphne's mom for building such a resilient daughter.

I guess it could've been worse, Harry thought, glancing over at his girlfriend. If Daphne was a human, she might've come away with much more serious than a loose screw…

If anything, Daphne seemed rather nonchalant as she walked. He was pretty sure she was humming, and apart from her newly-degraded speech patterns, she looked perfectly fine.

"Hmumumumumumumu," Daphne hummed.

Huh, Harry thought. I wonder what that's about.

He was pondering the many mysteries of his robot girlfriend when he was interrupted by a familiar voice from behind him.

"Harry? Is that you?"

He turned around, and was met with the face of his childhood friend, Draco Malfoy.

"Hey Draco!" Harry said, surprised to see the boy. "What are you doing here?"

Draco glanced between Harry and Daphne, a bit awkwardly. "Oh, a new shopping mall opened in the city, and I thought I'd check it out before we went back to school…"

"That sounds fun," he replied. "Let me know if it's any good, and next chance we get, we should all go together!"

The pretty blonde boy took a deep breath and steeled his resolve. He still had feelings for Harry, and couldn't quite bring himself to accept Daphne, but maybe it was time for him to get to know her a bit better. He valued Harry's friendship after all, and it looked like his girlfriend was here to stay.

"You could join me if you want?" Draco offered, looking between the couple. "I mean, if you don't have anything else to do, and you don't mind me tagging along…"

Harry winced. "I'd love to, but I have to bring Daphne to a, er, appointment. But next time, for sure."

"Oh, okay. No prob-"

"Hmumumumumumumu."

Draco stopped speaking and looked towards Daphne. Was the girl laughing at him?

"What's that, Daphne?" he asked, trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. "Do you have something to say?"

The girl gripped Harry's hand tighter. "Hmumumumumumumu."

Draco's delicate brows furrowed; the girl was clearly laughing at him. She was mocking him, because she had Harry, and he was stuck going to the mall by himself.

"Fine, Greengrass," Draco said, starting to get a little upset. "Laugh all you want. We don't have to be friends. But just know that one day, Harry will see you for who you are, and he'll realize he can do better."

"Wait, Draco, she wasn't laughing at you!" Harry rushed to explain. "She's just having a bit of difficulty-"

"It's alright, Harry," Draco cut in. "You don't have to talk for her. She's said enough."

"But she hasn't said any-"

"Hmumumumumumumu!"

Harry cringed. That was particularly bad timing, and he had to admit that Daphne's humming did sound a bit like a laugh. But he wasn't sure how to explain to Draco that his girlfriend actually just had a literal screw loose in her head, so he just stood there awkwardly.

Draco looked at him for a second longer before walking away.

"See you around, Harry."

Once the boy had disappeared around a corner, Harry turned to Daphne with a grimace.

"That was an unfortunate misunderstanding," he remarked. "We'll have to find him and apologize later."

"Hmumumumumumumu," she agreed.

As they continued on their way towards Doctor Magyar's lab, Harry tried to figure out how much Daphne could actually understand in her current state.

"Daphne?"

The girl turned to look at him, but he wasn't sure if it was because she recognized her name or simply due to the fact that he made a noise.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, testing the limits of her comprehension.

"Awawawawawawa?" she replied, tilting her head.

Clink!

"Awawa?" Harry repeated, ignoring the sound of the loose screw bouncing around in Daphne's head. "Is that good or bad?"

"Awawawawawawa…"

Harry sighed, giving up. That hadn't been a very fruitful conversation.

A few moments later, Harry was startled once again by a familiar voice from behind him.

"Hey Harry!"

They turned around and saw Neville Longbottom, waving and approaching them from down the street. He was dressed sharply, and looked for all the world like a strapping young man on his way to meet up with his significant other. Harry passively noted that getting a girlfriend seemed to have done wonders for Neville over the past few months.

"What are you guys up to?" he asked once he had caught up with them. "Heading to the new mall, by any chance?"

Harry shook his head. "Nope – we didn't even know there was one until quite recently."

"Awawawawawawa," Daphne confirmed.

Harry froze, and Neville turned to the girl, puzzled.

"What did you say?" he asked.

"Awawawawawawa," Daphne repeated.

"Uh…"

Neville looked sort of troubled, so Harry jumped in, trying to improvise some excuse for his girlfriend's behavior.

"Haha," he started. "Don't mind her, Neville. We're just playing a, uh, game…"

"A game?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah, a game. It's a fun one where we, um…where we say 'awawa'…"

Incidentally, Harry wasn't a great excuse-improviser.

Neville stared at him blankly. "Is there a winner of this game?"

"Yup. Eventually, uh, Daphne gets bored and stops…"

"Oh. That sounds fun…"

Harry smiled awkwardly at the other boy. "Oh yeah, for sure. Tons of fun."

"Awawawawawawa," Daphne supplied.

Neville took a tentative step back from the couple. He quite liked Harry and had nothing against Daphne, but he also couldn't help but feel like they acted a bit strangely sometimes. Harry was the love genius who helped set him up with his girlfriend Sabrina, so it wasn't his place to question him, but that didn't mean he understood everything he did.

I guess there's no great genius without a touch of madness, Neville thought to himself.

"Well anyway," he said, continuing to back away from the odd pair. "I've got a date today, so I'll see you guys back at school, okay?"

"Sure thing, Neville," Harry said, trying to act casual.

"Awawawawawawa!" Daphne added, as if her little noises were totally comprehensible.

"Uh, right…" Neville replied, and then practically ran away.

Harry was sincerely hoping they wouldn't run into any more people they knew before Astoria could repair Daphne, which was precisely why he was not at all surprised when a familiar voice called out to them a block away from Doctor Magyar's lab.

"Harry? Daphne? What a pleasant surprise!"

They turned around, and to Harry's relief, the voice belonged to Hermione Granger. She was a good friend to both him and Daphne, and was one of the only other people who knew Daphne's secret. Luckily, that meant Harry wouldn't need to lie to her about Daphne's current situation.

"Hi Hermione. Daphne has a screw loose in her head, so we're on our way to get it fixed."

Hermione blinked a few times at that abrupt information drop, but eventually processed everything he told her.

"Oh. That's troubling. Do you guys mind if I join you?"

Harry raised his eyebrows in surprise. "I'm sure it would be fine, but are you sure you want to? I mean, surely you have something else to do?"

She shrugged. "I was going to check out the new mall, but this sounds more interesting. Besides, I might be able to learn a thing or two that'll help us out if anything like this happens while we're at school."

"Alright, thanks Hermione!" he said, thinking that was rather nice of her. "The lab is only a block away from here."

The trio made it the rest of the way to Magyar's lab without encountering any more classmates, and were promptly let into the building. The staff must have been warned of their arrival, because soon enough they were met by a young woman in professional clothing who escorted them to Astoria's workspace.

"Daphne!" Astoria cried when she saw the group. "Oh you poor thing, let's get that screw tightened right away- Wait, who's that!?"

The girl pointed rudely at Hermione, and then turned an accusatory gaze towards Harry.

"This is Hermione," Harry said placatingly, gesturing to her. "She's one of our friends, and she already knew about Daphne's secret. We ran into her on our way here and she wanted to come with us."

"Hermione?" Astoria repeated, making a face. "What kind of a name is that? It sounds goofy."

Hermione narrowed her eyes at the girl. "It comes from a Shakespeare play, actually. It's not 'goofy', it's cultured."

"Bleh," she replied. "Sounds boring."

Harry sighed. Sometimes he really worried about Astoria.

"This is Astoria Greengrass," he said, introducing the girl that didn't seem likely to introduce herself. "She's Daphne's younger sister, and a prodigy mechanic. She does all of Daphne's repairs."

"Astoria?" Hermione repeated, making a face. "You made fun of my name, when your name is 'Astoria'? At least I was named after a queen, written by the most influential English literary craftsman in history; you were named after a tiny port town in Oregon."

Harry cringed. He had almost forgotten that Hermione could be rather disagreeable herself, and apparently her name was a sensitive point.

"Yeah?" Astoria spat. "You wanna fi-"

"Sksksksksksksksksksksks!"

Both girls backed down as Daphne put herself between them, making another strange noise as she did. Loose screw or not, Daphne seemed to sense the tension between the two girls, and her interjection helped Astoria and Hermione remember why they were there in the first place.

"So, can we help Daphne now?" Harry asked, a little impatiently.

"You're right," Hermione sighed. "Sorry Astoria, this was meant to be about Daphne, not us. I apologize for overreacting."

Astoria shrugged. "Whatever you say, goofy-named girl."

"Aren't those gears too close together?" Hermione asked.

"No."

"Maybe you should move them a little further apart."

"No."

"Why don't you put some loctite on the screw before replacing it?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Ugh!" Astoria yelled. "Do you ever stop yapping!? I'm trying to put Daphne's screw back in here!"

Harry sighed from where he stood facing the wall, as the two girls opened up Daphne's back and replaced the screw in her head. They had both insisted that he maintain proper modesty and avert his eyes, but by now he wanted to turn around just to give the two girls a lecture. His girlfriend needed mechanical attention, and if they messed something up because they were too busy arguing, there would be hell to pay.

"I'm just saying that you could consider optimizing some of these circuits," Hermione said primly. "Don't get all in a huff simply because I'm right."

"You're not right! Stick to magic, spellbrain – leave proper science to the professionals."

"Who are you calling 'spellbrain,' you…you gearhead!" Hermione countered.

Under other circumstances, Harry would've been impressed by Astoria's ability to drag Hermione down to her level of immature name-calling, but as it stood, he really needed them to focus.

"You guys can fight later," he called. "Can you please fix Daphne first?"

"She started it!" Hermione huffed.

"Hermione, she's almost three years younger than you."

"Wait, really?" she asked, turning to look at Astoria.

"What's it to you?" the younger girl returned testily.

"Nothing, I guess…it just kind of makes your work a bit more impressive is all…"

"Oh…"

They managed to stay quiet enough after that to finally concentrate and replace the screw in Daphne's head. The robot girl, who had been turned off throughout the procedure, turned back on and gave her head a few shakes. The clinking noise was gone, and she turned to Harry.

"Thank you," she said. "And I apologize for my unsafe behavior earlier. I will not make a similar mistake again."

Astoria raised an eyebrow. "Unsafe? What-"

"And as for the two of you," Daphne continued, talking over her sister to fix both her and Hermione with emotionless stares. "I expect proper decorum from now on. I will not have my only friend and my only sister bickering over pointless things like their names."

Both girls looked down at the floor, chastened.

"Sorry Daphne…" they said in unison.

She turned away, satisfied, and spoke again to Harry.

"Now, if you do not mind, we should head to the new mall that everyone has been talking about."

"The mall?" he asked. "I don't mind, but what do you want to do there?"

"I believe I have a rival-in-love to apologize to."

Later that night, several hours after Daphne had swallowed her robotic pride and apologized to Draco Malfoy, a tentative knock came at her bedroom door.

She looked up and saw her younger sister Astoria standing in the doorway and fidgeting awkwardly.

Possible Emotion Detected: Concern

Printing Thought Sequence: How troubling… I have never seen Astoria fidget awkwardly.

"Um, Daphne?"

"What is it?"

"It's um, about that 'Hermione' girl, or whatever…" she started.

Cuddles tilted his head quizzically from where he lay curled up at the end of Daphne's bed, and the robot girl herself confessed to feeling a similar way.

"What about Hermione?" Daphne asked.

"Well, um, it's just, next time you're home you could like, invite her over or something. I mean, I don't really care, it's just if you wanted…"

Daphne tilted her head. "I do not get it."

"Erm, well, because then I could apologize to her for today, and maybe get to know her, not that I want to, I'm just saying I could…"

Possible Emotion Detected: Understanding

"Astoria," Daphne began patiently. "Though it may not be an issue in the future, Hermione is much too old for you at the moment-"

"It's not like I like her or anything!" Astoria shouted, causing Cuddles to yip in surprise. "I just thought maybe you'd want to invite your friend over at some point, and I'm saying I wouldn't particularly mind, and maybe I could join you guys at some point…"

Astoria trailed off as Daphne stared silently at her.

"If you had a crush on her, maybe you should have been nicer to her tod-"

"Don't misunderstand!" Astoria yelled. "It's not a crush, i-idiot! I just, I just…ugh! Whatever, Daphne!"

Astoria ran out of Daphne's room then, leaving a slightly amused girl and a slightly confused dog in her wake.

Printing Thought Sequence: My little sister is full of surprises, is she not?