Authors note: I do not own anything to do with The Hobbit or LOTR franchises, everything belongs to Tolkien! I am just a poor college student having some fun. Comment and reviews but lease no flames! If you don't like it don't read it- easy enough right?
Chapter 1
Groaning, Bilbo rubbed his forehead. There had definitely been no mention of ogres stomping on his head for fun, but that would seem to be a side effect of the magic. Peeking open his eyes, he found himself lying underneath his kitchen table.
"What an odd place to wake up," he mumbled to himself, crawling out from under the furniture. Around him, the room looked much the way it had before his blue guests. Books and papers still covered many of the surfaces, and the sun was just beginning to set outside. Looking down at his hands, he gasped. Young strong hands moved in front of his face, no longer wrinkled with time. Rushing to his room to stand before his mirror he found the rest of him changed the same, a younger version of himself staring back at him.
Hastening to his journal on his deck to check the date, he found he had three days until the arrival of Gandalf. This was perfect, just enough time to prepare a feast for his friends as well as procure some suitable traveling cloths. He had to chuckle to himself; his past self had been such a pansy, never having left the shire. The first journey he had undertaken with the dwarves had been uncomfortable in his "short walk to the forest edge" cloths. He even remembered being distressed over not having a handkerchief.
He would not make the same mistakes this time. With that in mind he made his way into town, purchasing enough meat, bread, cheese and ale to feed a small army (or thirteen dwarves) as well as a few thicker shirts and pants. He even splurged and bought a new vest for the occasion with six different pockets.
While his neighbors had questioned his purchases, he had directed the conversations onto different topics. He had no wish to share himself with these hobbits, many of whom had forsaken him upon his return and would likely do so again this time around. No, instead he moved on quickly and made his way home to begin packing.
On the second day Bilbo took a trip to his favorite cousins' house. He spotted Drogo first, tending a tree in the small yard of him home. Drogo was a stout hobbit, with dark hair like his son would one day have. His skin was darker from many days in the sun working in gardens or helping build fences. Unlike the other Baggins (mainly the Sackville-Baggins) he wasn't afraid to get a little dirty, which had always been something Bilbo respected in the hobbit. He himself had never much cared for dirt, but he respected any creature that could take something (be it stone, wood or metal) and turn it into something better. Catching his eye, Bilbo waved merrily as he approached the gentle-hobbit.
"Drogo! How are you?"
"Good day cousin, I am fit as a fiddle, and yourself? What brings you all the way out here this fine day?" Drogo stepped down off of his ladder, several leaves caught in his curls.
"I am wonderful, and actually I have come with a favor to ask of you and Primula if I may be so bold." Bilbo gestured his cousin towards the house. It took everything in his being to not wrap Drogo in a giant hug or lock him and his bride away in Bag End forever. While he still felt the 50 some years it had been since their tragic deaths, he knew that they would have seen him about a month ago at Granny Baggins's birthday. Any show of what he was feeling would definitely frighten them.
"Of course, come inside! Primula has just finished making afternoon tea."
"I'm afraid I cannot stay long," he pulled up a seat at the dining table. The small hobbit-hole was cozy, but not at all suitable for more than two. It boasted a kitchen attached to the dining room, and one bedroom. He had remembered Drogo digging out a second room when Frodo was born, but hopefully he could save his cousin the trouble this time around.
Primula appeared from the kitchen at the sound of voices, carrying with her a tray in one hand with sweet smelling cakes and tea cups. In the other she held a steaming tea pot. Primula was definitely a beautiful hobbit lass, with waist length blond curls, and a smile that could charm a king from his crown. Her blue eyes sparkled as she took in the site of her guest.
"Bilbo! Why, what brings you by? Oh, let me fetch another cup." She disappeared back into the kitchen, was followed by the sound of shattering glass, and an "Oh shoot!", before she bustled back into the dining room holding a mismatched tea cup. While beautiful, it was well known that Primula Brandybuck was a bit of a klutz.
"Well dear, it would seem Bilbo has a favor to ask of us." Drogo didn't bother asking about the noise from the kitchen.
"Indeed I do. In two days I will be setting out on a quest. I would ask that you take Bag End, as I have no intention of returning." His eyes settled on the couple, who wore matching shocked expressions.
"But, But… But you can't go!" Primula sputtered
"Indeed! What brought this on cousin? You have never shown any inkling of leaving before; you've never even left the shire!" Drogo shot from his chair.
Bilbo was unfazed by their reactions. "You are correct, I haven't. However, it is very important that I do. Many lives are depending on me. So I am gifting you Bag End, on a single condition."
"What would that be?"
"You are to never set foot on a boat." Bilbo watched as the couple exchanged looks. He knew his request was odd, and while he loved Frodo dearly and never regretted the time he had with the boy, he wanted to grant him the joy of living with his parents at least in this life.
Drogo sat down, thinking hard at the implications of Bilbo's words. Bilbo had never asked anything of him in his entire life, even as children. Whatever his cousin was hiding, he knew that it would definitely carry weight for him to make such a request.
"Very well. When do you leave?"
"The day after tomorrow, before dawn I expect. You and Primula will need to be moved in before noon of that day, or our less subtle cousins will want their share. I'll leave the deed of the property signed on the dining table for you." Bilbo gave a sigh of relief. He honestly hadn't known if how they would take the news, or if they would try to push him for details. Lucky for him, his cousins were respectable hobbits that didn't pry.
"If that is what you wish. But Bilbo… Please be careful on this quest of yours." Primula gave him a pleading look. He didn't have the heart to tell her he may very well die this time around.
The rest of the time past rather quickly and the more he thought about it the more anxious he became. By the time he was sitting at his front door waiting for Gandalf to show up, he was tapping his foot rapidly. The day its self was beautiful, the sun shining with a light breeze. He could see the children playing in the distance, and wondered how long it would take for the wizard to get here.
I've been waiting sixty years, you would think I could wait a few more hours, He thought to himself, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes, a frown puckering his brow. He couldn't remember the last time he had been so nervous… except maybe when he had revealed to Thorin his theft of the Arkenstone.
Suddenly, a gruff cough drew him from his ponderings. Opening his eyes, a tall grey wizard stood before him leaning on his staff and sizing up Bilbo with a mischievous look in his eyes.
"Good morning." Bilbo gave him a small smile.
"What do you mean?" he said. "Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?"
"It is whether you want it or not." His small smile turned to a grin as he remembered the first time they had had this conversation. The wizard certainly could run circles around him with words.
Gandalf's bushy brows shot straight up at the hobbits directness which he had not been expecting. The short creature before him sat smoking his pipe, with a smile that made him look very much like Belladonna Took.
"How are you today Mister Gandalf?"
"You know who I am?" This also surprised him, as it had been quite some time since he had been to the Shire.
"Indeed, my mother used to speak very highly of you. Come and sit, what brings you to the shire on this beautiful day?"
"I'm afraid I do not have time to join you this afternoon, I am actually looking for someone to... join in an adventure," There was a brief pause as the air became still between the two of them. Bilbo puffed out a smoke ring, watching the wind catch it and take it away before turning his attention back to the matter at hand.
"And what would this adventure be?"
Gandalf sat down and explained everything he could about the campaign, though leaving out several details such as how many dwarves would be invading his home this evening, as well as the bit about the dragon. Bilbo played his part, until finally agreeing to join (not that he would have disagreed for any reason, having made his decision sixty years ago, and again three nights ago). This seemed to please the wizard, who then proceeded to carve a rune into his door before bidding Bilbo good bye with the promise of returning later that evening with the company.
Though some of his anxiety had subsided, he was left with a feeling of doubt. What if I do something wrong and Thorin doesn't accept me as their burglar, it's not as if I knew what I was doing the first time around… or what if I burst into tears at the very sight of him! Bilbo paced his entryway rapidly. Unable to answer these questions, he soon moved into the kitchen to finish preparing dinner.
By the time the first knock sounded through the house, the table was piled high with meats, cheeses, and breads. He had even purchased several whole chickens and one suckling pig which were the center pieces of the buffet. Pleased with his spread, Bilbo quickly moved to open the door while trying to remember which dwarf would be the first. On his lawn stood Dwalin, as tall and intimidating as ever. Bowing deeply, his voice rumbled out his introduction.
"Dwalin, at your service!"
"Bilbo Baggins, at yours." Bilbo replied quickly, slightly queasy at seeing his friend again after so long," Welcome to my home, please come inside." The dwarf sized him up, seeming surprised that the small hobbit wasn't cowering before him.
"Thank you. I was told there would be food?"
"Yes there is, I have laid out dinner for the occasion." He replied, leading the dwarf into the dining room.
"This is quite a feast you have here." Dwalin muttered, giving Bilbo an odd look.
"Of course, we hobbits love food and company." He smiled up at the dwarf, feeling quite cunning in his old age. Everyone knew that the way to a dwarf's heart was through his stomach. "Help yourself to anything you like. Do you think this will be enough for everyone?" He knew it would, but it was probably better to play ignorant.
"Aye, this should be enough." Dwalin took a seat and began to pile food onto his plate. Shortly after fetching a barrel of ale from the kitchen the second knock sounded. Bilbo was still having trouble remembering which dwarf arrived when, only knowing that Thorin was the last. Opening the door, he found Balin standing before him much younger looking than he had been their last visit. Looking at him made Bilbo weak in the knees; He had been very close to Balin even after the Battle of Five Armies, with his friend coming to visit him on his way to Moria not more than a year ago in his previous life. He had been grey, his back stooped with age, and hollowness in his eyes that Bilbo understood to well. Now hale and hearty, the dwarf gave a deep bow.
"Balin, at your service!"
"Bilbo Baggins, at yours."
"I think it might rain later," The white haired dwarf predicted, entering the house.
"It would be a shame to start our journey wet," Bilbo replied, closing the door.
"Yes indeed."
A shout followed by stomping told Bilbo Dwalin had heard his brother. Laughs and jabs were exchanges as they butted heads together. Bilbo took a seat on one of the chests he had set in the entryway, letting Dwalin lead Balin into the kitchen. They would likely want to catch up, and he was still feeling unsteady. However, he didn't have much time to get his bearings before an echoing knock sounded from the door. Opening the door, he felt his breath leave him in a rush.
"Fili-"
"and Kili"
"At your service" They state in unison, bowing deeply.
"Bilbo Baggins, at yours…" He replied weakly.
"Are you okay, Mister Baggins, you look a little green around the gills," Kili placed a hand on his shoulder as if steady him.
"Yes, yes. My apologies, just got caught off guard. Please come inside and join the festivities. Dwalin and Balin are already eating."
"It's nice, this place."
"Did you do it yourself?" asked Fili.
"No my father built it." Bilbo didn't flinch as Fili began to clean his boots on his mother's chest, and gestured for Kili to place his weapons on a side table he had pulled into the hall.
"Come join the feast!" Dwalin called, drawing the boys into the other room. More knocking sounded drawing Bilbo back to the door.
Pulling the door open, he had forgotten about the cascade of dwarves that had occurred last time as they tumbled through the doorway onto the poor hobbit. A mixture of grunts and groans sounded from the pile, while Gandalf chuckled from above.
"Is everyone okay?" The wizard helped a few of the dwarves to their feet. Towards the bottom of the pile he found Bofur lying on top of Bilbo, the dwarve's arms and legs wrapped around the hobbit awkwardly. "Bilbo are you okay?"
"Yes I'm fine," He replied, shooing away the toy-maker and scrambling to his feet.
"My apologies Master Hobbit, "Bofur gave a deep bow," My brother can be clumsy, I hope you are all right?"
"No harm no foul," He replied giving a grin to Bombur, who obviously had been the cause of the mishap from all the glares he was receiving. The round dwarf gave a small smile of his own before being elbowed by his brother.
"I am Bofur," The dwarf pointed at his brother," and this is Bombur, and that one over there is our cousin Bifur." All three gave a bow. "These are Nori, Dori, and Ori," he went on to introduce, waving at the three brothers. Dori was checking over Ori for any serious injuries while Nori rolled his eyes. "And over here we have Gloin, and Oin." The last two were rubbing their sore spots, ignoring the introductions.
"Welcome to my home, I am Bilbo Baggins. Please come and join everyone in the dining room." He ushered everyone through the house. Turning back to the entryway, he found Gandalf watching him closely.
"You seem to be taking this quite well."
"Um, yes well, hobbit children are more chaos than this bunch, so it's not a problem." He fibbed, moving into the kitchen away from Gandalf's gaze. From the other room he could hear shouts and belches, and see food flying over the tops of the dwarves' heads. He had almost forgotten how rambunctious the group could get. Rolling out the second barrel of ale, his heart dropped as he heard the final knock at the door. The room grew hushed as they listened to Gandalf open the front door.
"Gandalf, I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way- twice." Bilbo heard, before the others pushed him forward into the entryway. Losing his footing, the hobbit pitched forward and would have face planted if not for the strong hands that lifted him off the floor before setting him down gently.
"Thorin, this is our burglar, Bilbo Baggins."
"He looks more like a grocer than a burglar." The king replied dismissively.
"Indeed, but then again looks can be deceiving. I must say no one would ever know you're a king by looking at you," Bilbo interjected, meeting Thorin's shocked expression with one eyebrow raised, he stood his ground. Around him the others burst into laughter.
"He does have a pair after all! I was afraid, given all the doilies." Balin pounded him on the back.
"Well if that's settled, come join us, we left some food for you," Dwalin lead everyone back, except Thorin who seemed rooted in place.
"My apologies, Mister Baggins. That was rude of me, you have opened your home to my kin and I and I am very grateful for the hospitality."
"Of- of course," Bilbo stuttered out, shocked at the apology.
"Thorin Oakenshield, at your service." He placed a hand over his heart, giving a small bow.
"Bilbo Baggins, at yours."
Thorin nodded, before turning to join the rest. Bilbo joined them, eyeing Thorin from his seat at the end of the table as the rest of the company began to sing some witty pub songs. A little while later, once the plates and food had been cleared away and the lights dimmed, they began speaking in low voices about the upcoming mission. The conversation passed mush the same way it had before, turning into bickering, before Gandalf rose up to silence them all while presenting a key to Thorin. Bilbo half listened to the exchange, contemplating on whether or not he should divulge his knowledge of the future. He soon put the idea in the trash, knowing the group would likely think him crazy. No, he would watch out for them and assure their survival.
"-And that's why we need a burglar." Ori's comment drew him from his thoughts, reminding him of his mission at hand.
"Are you up for the task Master Hobbit?" Thorin turned, laying his pale blue eyes on Bilbo.
"Yes, I believe I can be of help in this matter."
"Have you done much fighting before?"
"As a matter of fact I have, though I cannot necessarily provide references." He joked, avoiding Gandalf's appraising eyes.
"Very well, give him a contract," Thorin ordered. Balin stood and presented him with his contract, which Bilbo signed without giving a second look.