KK: I know right! There was a lot of pot calling the kettle black in that line. Thank you so much for reviewing. You'll see who's procreated in this chapter.

Kam: You're right with their fertility issues, it would be a shock.

Guest: Sorry for not updating sooner. I have no idea why it took so long.

ttgranger: Michonne wasn't thinking about the greater good, she was only concerned about her family. Everyone in Alexandria was guilty of that, thinking of themselves. It's selfish, but it's human nature. Plus they will reap the consequences of not having a doctor.

Chapter Nine: Chenelle

"Daddy? Where Chonne?" Judith asked for the umpteenth time.

"She went to work, baby."

"When she coming back?"

"Soon."

Judith frowned. "Chonne say Gabwiel go work. And Gabwiel didn' come back." Rick's lip twitched at his daughter's grim statement. "Chonne go work. Michonne no come back."

"She's coming back."

"Is she with Gabwiel? They come back together? She wescue him daddy? Are you still mad?"

"..."

Carl was ready for Michonne to return. He knew it would take a while because they were going further than normal to scout for medical supplies and clothes. He always missed Michonne when she left, but now that he was by himself with his father that feeling doubled. Carl didn't know how Michonne slept next to Rick every night. Rick was on edge and seemed more disheveled after she left. Sometimes Carl woke up to the sound of Rick pacing the floor. Worried about Rick, he wouldn't be able to sleep either. In addition to their problems at home, things weren't perfect in Alexandria. Some were vocal about their mistrust of Rick. It made them wonder what people were planning in silence. Rick had plans. Sometimes they would spend nights with Glenn, Maggie, and Tara. Rick seems more at ease with them. Carl wondered why his dad fought so hard to be with Michonne when his group gave him the most peace.

Rick oversaw the creation of the prison. This prison was improving relations with the Alexandrians even more than his speech. They could see his leadership and ideas firsthand. Some of the tension was easing, but not for everyone. Jessie Anderson skittered away every time she saw Rick's face. When people noticed they remember his execution of Pete and grew worried. Sam Anderson was happy. He had a lot more energy which he seemed to burn by following everyone that took over Alexandria, including Rick. That sentiment was not shared by his brother. Ron despised the Grimes now. He even asked Carl why his father had to die when his didn't. If it wasn't for Tyreese, Carl and Ron would have fought. 'She would know what to do about Ron. She would have straighten things between our family and the town.' Carl thought. 'We need Michonne.'

Rick was a bundle of nervous energy. Worry was painted across his face. Not only was Michonne gone, but Daryl too. Daryl should have been back; Michonne should have been back. He already accepted the consequences of his actions if his people mysteriously died on this run. He felt as if something went wrong because for the first time since Judith was born, Michonne missed Judith's birthday.

"Cawl, where's Chonne?" Judith asked for again time. She thought by asking a different person she'd get a different answer. This was torture.

Carl turned to his father and hoped he'd handle this. The older Grimes was too dazed and was staring out a window. Rick was probably like Judith in that regard, asking himself over and over when their matriarch would get back. Carl was tired of Judith asking this. It was just a constant reminder that he truly didn't know where Michonne was and if she'd return. He swallowed his feelings and responded. "She's working, Judith. You know this."

"I miss Chonne. I wan' Chonne," she whined.

"She's not here right now, Judy! There's nothing I can do." Carl was beyond frustrated with Judith. She was so annoying now that she could talk.

"...Is she a wakka?" Carl was stunned. Rick, who had been listening selectively, sat up and turned to his morbid daughter. "Wakkas no come back."

Rick stopped to think about that possibility. What if she was dead? Even worse, what if she had turned? He didn't know what was going on anything could have happened. He couldn't have found her to lose her. Two years he spent trying to find his family; how could he let her go out for weeks at a time? True she was with Daryl, but they were both human. All humans died. Michonne Anthony and Daryl Dixon were no exception. Rick wasn't ready for that though. He couldn't lose them. If they were in trouble he'd save them. If they were dead, he'd bury them. If they were walking aimlessly, turned, now one of those monsters, he'd put them down and everything that caused it. He hoped for his own sake that nobody in Alexandria harmed his family. His thoughts of retaliation scared him. Rick hoped he wouldn't have to. He didn't want his children out there again. "...Carl, you two go to Glenn and Maggie's."

Carl frowned. "What's going on?"

"I don wan' Maggie! I wan' Chonne!"

"Judith, stop," Carl commanded.

"No! I wan' Chonne! I wan' Chonne!"

Judith started crying and continued to repeat that she wanted Michonne. Carl knew Judith needed a nap. She was lucky Michonne wasn't there. She'd pop Judith before sending her to her room. Instead of reacting negatively to Judith's tantrum, Rick picked her up and hugged her as she sobbed. "I know baby. I miss her too. Do you want daddy to go get her?" Judith still cried.

Carl looked at his father and mirrored his infamous tilt of the head. "You're planning on leaving?"

"They've been gone too long."

"...I'm going too."

"No."

"Yes. Michonne is my-" Carl caught himself before he said mom. He didn't know how Rick would feel about it. Plus, Carl never said it outside of a loving joke. The teenager looked at his father and frowned. "I need to watch your back."

"I'll be faster on my own."

"I'm fast." Carl countered.

"We don't know what we'll find."

"Dad," Carl matched Rick's gaze with his own. "If you're going, I'm going."

"..."

"..."

The alert that signaled the opening of the gates for people went off. Rick and Carl looked at each other again before gathering Judith to see if it was the recon group. Their hearts raced as the went to the gates for the umpteenth time in weeks. A good amount of the neighborhood also went out to greet the arrivers too. Rick scanned the crowd and saw Eric limping. He was leaning on his partner, Aaron, for support. Looking at their pale faces, something had gone wrong. He ignored the other members of recon until he finally spotted Daryl. He went to him and pulled him into a tight hug. There were no words exchanged, but they knew they were both happy to see each other and glad that he returned safely. Daryl returned it and motioned Rick towards the end of the group. Rick looked and saw Michonne; she was alive and in one piece. He touched Daryl's shoulder. "Thank you." She was alive. He was alive. Daryl was truly the only person he could trust to keep his family safe outside Michonne. With a few long strides, he captured Michonne and kissed her.

Michonne took a moment to adjust to the loss of her personal space and intrusion. "Hello would have been better." She softened when she saw the anxiety on his face. He'd been worried. She closed her eyes. "You should have known we'd return." She looked him in the eyes; her heart started to melt because of his concern. "I'm like you. I'll always return, no matter how long it takes."

He cupped her face and scanned her for any signs of trauma both physically and mentally. Rick noticed that Michonne did look a little sick. The recon group must have encountered something troubling. He frowned. "What's wrong?"

Before Michonne could answer Rick, Judith's screams for Michonne. That ripped the samurai away from her problems. Judith practically jumped from Carl's arms and was grasping Michonne's legs. She tried desperately to climb up. Judith was getting blood on her clothes. Michonne didn't like it, but wasn't the first time Judith's clothes had been stained with other's blood. "Chonne! You back! I miss you! I miss you! I love you, Chonne."

Michonne picked Judith up and kissed the side of her head. Judith returned her affection with a slobbery kiss to the cheek. "I love you too. Were you a good girl for daddy?"

"No!" Judith answered with a large, toothy smile.

Carl was standing to the side awkwardly. He too wanted to run and hug Michonne, but now that his father and sister had done it the act seemed sort of uncool. Michonne's eyebrow raised. "Come on over here." Carl looked down to hide his blush and awkwardly joined his family in a group hug.

Meanwhile...

Chenelle rubbed her face in frustration. Between helping with the puppies and her shifts with the sick and injured, she barely slept. She was no Carl Grimes; she was run down. She'd even been sleeping though work. Perhaps it was why the puppies were still so untamed; it was definitely why her patient list was so long. Chenelle promised herself that she would be productive after she got her rations from the commissary. She needed another nap.

"Hello."

"Hi Chenelle, how are you?" Olivia said with a smile. Looking at the teenager, she frowned. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm just here to collect my rations for the week."

"About that..." Olivia looked at the chart. "You've missed three days of work. You know your rations are going to be reduced right?"

Chenelle was aware of the rules for commissary. It was herself and Gabriel who came up with the idea of rations being currency. They based it off the second Thessalonians: "A man who does not work, does not eat." Two months ago she would have accepted the punishment and starved it out; however, Chenelle wasn't doing that any time soon. She wanted more food; she wanted to eat her feelings. Her unit was too quiet. She was all alone. "I really, really get that, but I need all of my rations."

"I'm sorry, Chenelle."

"I wasn't feeling well." She tried to reason. "I'm sick, and I'm tired. I personally just can't bring myself to say it. Can you just trust me and give me my food?"

"I can't bend the rule. This is how it needs to be. We have to do this to keep safe from famine and have enough for us all to eat."

Chenelle had enough. She'd officially lost her patience with the larger woman. "I work more than you do to keep this place safe from famine! I'm putting myself through med school. I doctor you people with little help; no wonder Dr. Anderson was such an asshole! I'm training the puppies! You aren't going to bar me just because I miss ONE of my numerous jobs. I'm fucking exhausted! And I want some damn chocolate! What do YOU do all day? Because it's obvious that you don't know anything about missing a meal."

Olivia was taken back from her outburst and insult. "How dare you?"

With an attitude-laced tone, Chenelle said, "I'm going to get my food."

Chenelle pushed past the Alexandrian. When Olivia tried to protest Smythe bared his fangs and got in position to attack her. Olivia back slowly out of the commissary. "I'm going to tell Rick what you're doing. You can't steal!"

"Fuck Rick! Rick isn't my fucking father. I've had three of them in my life and I don't need any more. I'm the adult in charge of me! He owes me. And I will remind him just how much if you bring him." Olivia left. "I don't care what you do," Chenelle said to herself. "Sit." Smythe sat by the door while Chenelle looked for something high in nutrition. She found the jackpot with a bottle of vitamins. This instantly made whatever punishment she'd get worth it. She also found a bar of chocolate. She wasted no time eaching it. The taste was so good she almost cried. It was so worth it, Chenelle didn't care that Olivia left to get Rick; she also didn't care when she heard them returning. What surprised her was that the entire Grimes family returned with her. Seeing Carl and Judith made her lightheaded. She'd done so well to avoid him only for him to show up at her worst.

The dog was ready for war. Michonne felt the hairs on her body stand. She'd seen what that dog could do and knew first hand what it would feel like. Judith started to cry. This was the first time Smythe had ever growled in her direction. Daryl's eyebrow raised; her threat didn't shake him at all. Rick sized up Chenelle as an opponent; this moment was odd to him. It was strange to him that a girl who survived that long by outside Alexandria cared so much about the amount of food she received. Why would she bet her freedom for some sweets? He noticed that she looked unwell, as if she hadn't slept for days. The baggy clothes she wore made it impossible for him to tell if she was armed.

Michonne noticed a lot less than Rick. She was just stunned that they were at this moment. Why was Chenelle doing this? Michonne suddenly realized that she didn't know anything about Chenelle's life in the Safe Zone. It was her fault that she knew so little. They'd disconnected when they got to Alexandria. Back then Michonne was so elated that Alexandria wasn't a trap. It seemed unreal that their doctor fixed her arm and even though she was out of commission for a while for her arm to heal, they were safe behind walls. Judith survived and could finally off a feeding tube; they'd finally gotten a diagnosis for Judith's random bouts of hyperventilation, asthma. They could grow and flourish there. She thought that didn't always have to fight. She thought that she didn't need her sword. Those thoughts gave her time to reflect on other things. It was no question that Carl and Judith would stay with her, but Gabriel and Chenelle? Her relationship with Gabriel always confused her. So wanted take things slow and feel it out; this is why she didn't opt to live with Gabriel. In addition, she wanted Chenelle to live with Gabriel. They'd bonded in ways Michonne didn't, additionally where Chenelle went, Smythe went. They would never separate. Michonne couldn't handle living with him. Living with Gabriel allowed a way for the girl would be safe, but the dog wouldn't be around Michonne anymore. Michonne had let her fears prevent her from taking the girl in like she'd done for Carl and Judith. Now this inaction had come back to haunt her. For this, Michonne felt guilty.

"Chenelle, you need to put everything you stole back into the commissary. You know better than most the importance of rations."

"I don't owe you all anything."

Michonne frowned. "You're not giving your food to the dogs are you?"

"No! ...well yes, but this is not about that. Just leave me alone."

"Hell no," Daryl answered. There was nothing about this situation that screamed, trust me.

"Look Chenelle, you can just have mine." Carl offered. Chenelle just stared at him wildly; her eyes burned in hatred. Carl was weirded out by her silence and her behavior. She'd never looked at him that way. "You okay?"

"I don't need anything from you. I'm so tired of you. I'm over you!" He tried to approach her. "Don't touch me!" Chenelle warned. The dogs stirred with her.

Rick pulled his gun on Smythe. "Stop him or I will."

"Dad!" He didn't want his dad to hurt Smythe or Chenelle. He wanted this to end. He wished he could talk to Chenelle, but she wasn't speaking to him.

"Shoot him and I'll spill everything I know."

Rick's head cocked. "Are you threatening me?"

"Dad chill. Chenelle, we're friends. Talk to me, what's wrong with you?"

Chenelle looked at the Grimes with eyes of hatred. "You're my problem! All of you! Don't act like you give a damn about me!" She grabbed the food, running off in tears.

Rick allowed her to walk home and didn't arrest her. He ignored the whispers of the Alexandrians and turned to Michonne. "Has this happened before?"

"No. We should keep an eye on her; something is wrong." Michonne kissed Judith's forehead. She was calming down from Smythe's growling. Michonne felt the same relief. "Carl, what was that about?"

"I don't know. I mean..." He had a thought, but decided that wouldn't be the cause of her anger. "No, I have no idea. What'd she take?"

"A week's worth of food, vitamins, and chocolate" Olivia answered, butting in. "I'm going to have to have to check the inventory just in case it was more."

Rick looked around. "Where's Tara?"

"Oh... Well she's making deliveries to some of our injured neighbors."

"Why didn't you give Chenelle her rations?" Carl asked.

"Well, she missed work. I've heard she's been sleeping through appointments too."

Carl frowned. "That's not like her." Michonne nodded. That was unusual for Chenelle.

Rick didn't really care about the girl personally, but he could tell his family cared for her. It was enough for him. He wanted to help her. He frowned at Olivia. "Why is it that instead of trying to see what her problem is, you tell her to starve?" This is exactly why he wanted Tara running the commissary. "There's something obviously wrong with that girl. You've just made it worse." Rick frowned relaxing his hypocrisy. He'd done more damage to that girl than Olivia ever could. He buried his guilt. "Let's go home."

One Week Later...

Jessie sat in the attic with the last of Pete's things. She finally found the strength to move his belongings, but she didn't necessarily feel better. She felt numb. It felt weird. He'd been in her life for decades before the turn. He was with her afterward. Even though he was abusive and mean, he was present. Now she was alone. This change was almost disturbing to her. She wasn't sure who she could go to. Pete had alienated her from every friend she had. Plus she didn't want pity. She also didn't know how to react to the community. Everyone knew; everyone knew and they were willing to sacrifice her and her children.

Jessie saw a familiar face outside her home. The ragged teen put something in her mailbox, wipe her eyes and left. Jessie straightened herself up and went to approach her. She'd been so used to hiding her pain it was second nature. Surpringly, it didn't take the mother long to catch up with the girl. "Chenelle," There was an awkward pause. "How are you?"

"How are you?" Chenelle asked, dodging her question.

"I don't want to answer that truthfully either." More silence. "Would you like to come in?"

"After the part I played, you'd want me to?"

Jessie remembered Pete instructing her how to pop Sam's arm back into its socket. Chenelle was the once treating and covering her bruises. She never said anything. She never encouraged her to leave nor did she report the abuse. However, Jessie found her easier to trust over the others in Alexandria. Chenelle had been just a girl. Jessie wondered if Pete abused her too. "Of course I want you to. It wasn't your fault."

"...I got him killed."

"You didn't!"

"Rick Grimes is a monster." Chenelle started to cry. "He took everything from me. I can't escape him. I'm trapped. I trapped myself!"

Jessie shook her head. "It's not Rick's fault Pete did what he did to you." Chenelle nodded in protest. "Pete shouldn't have put his hands on any of us especially-"

"I'm pregnant" Chenelle whispered. Jessie's blood ran cold. She didn't know what she was going to learn before speaking to Chenelle. This new knowlege made her stomach flip. She wanted to ask what her late husband was going to do when he grabbed her? A pregnant test? An examination? An abortion? But whatever the answer was nothing would change. "I'm carrying a monster!"

"It's not your fault." Chenelle disagreed. "It is NOT your fault. I didn't know Pete was hurting you. I would've-" What would she have done? If Jessie didn't leave for her own children nor herself, could she have saved Chenelle. Jessie truly cared for her, especially the secrets they shared. Jessie no longer had a husband, but she'd always be a mother. Her boys were older now and barely in the house. They didn't need her, at least in Jessie's eyes. She was so lonely. Now she didn't even have speculation to keep her company. Jessie wished there was something she could do, but then she realized she could. They needed each other. "I know you've never seen me at my best, but I have experience raising children. This is going to be hard, bringing a child into the world without its father. I'll take care of you." Jessie held her. "I will take care of you and the baby. Nobody will hurt us again."

Chenelle embraced the woman feeling new guilt. "Don't tell the Grimes'. I don't want them to take the baby. They'll take the baby."

"Why would they?"

"They just would." Jessie chalked that up to paranoia. "What about Ron and Sam?"

"I'll talk to them about it. Sam will love to have you. ...I'll talk to Ron."

Chenelle was talking to herself as usual. She had a copy of Yu Yu Hakusho next to her bed. She'd borrowed it from Carl, but she had no intentions of reading it. She looked at the manga before walking away. "I'm still not into them."

A knock on the door broke her thoughts. Part of her was hoping it was her father, Gabriel. She missed talking to him; she refused to believe he was dead. She prayed he was just laying low until things blew over. To her surprise it was Carl. She felt a weird mixture of sorrow and excitement when she let him in. She wanted it to be Gabriel, but Carl always made her heart race. Despite what happened, he still gave her butterflies. "Hey Chenelle."

"Hi Carl," she felt her heart beat even faster. "S-so, what are you up to?"

"Just waiting on Enid to return."

"Oh. Por supuesto que vas a hacer eso."

Carl laughed. He was used to her random outbursts of Spanish. "There you go talking about me," he joked. Smythe barked and jumped at Carl's legs. He bent down and rubbed the hunting dog's head and neck. "I missed you too, Smythe. You miss me? You miss me?"

"Yeah, he does. You only seem to visit Enid..." Chenelle looked at the floor.

Carl blushed. "I guess I do." Carl rubbed Smythe's stomach. "It's not like I don't like hanging out with you. Sometimes it's just good to talk to someone who knows what it's like... you know... out there."

"..."

It grew silent. Carl noticed Chenelle stopped looking down and had her locked eyes on him. She glared at him. "What?"

"Go fuck yourself," Chenelle said. She turned around and stormed to her room. Not understanding what he did wrong, Carl followed her. She walked faster and pulled the door to her room open. Smythe passed her and jumped onto the bed. Chenelle tossed the manga at Carl and pointed him to the door. "Get the hell out my house! Something I should have said to you when I was out there!" Carl looked at the wall. He had insulted her without knowing it.

"I'm sorry..."

"You really think she's something special just because she's killed a few zombies? So what! I had to hunt for my food. I've killed more zombies than I can count! Fuck, I've killed people!"

"...you've killed people?" Chenelle froze. She'd never told anybody this, not even Gabriel. Even though she was mad, she still had a crush on Carl and cared what he thought. She grew nervous that he'd view her as a monster. That wasn't the case. Carl looked at her with a new understanding. "I've had to too."

"I know. I've seen you. Do you think about it?"

"Sometimes, but not usually."

"I don't either. Does that make me bad?"

"I don't know. But if you are so am I." She shivered. "How come we never talked about this before?"

"I don't know." Chenelle sat on her bed. Carl sat on the other end. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah."

"Who was your first kill?"

"..."

"Oh..." Chenelle could feel from his silence it must have been someone close. She wasn't going to push him even though she was very curious. She decided to tell him her first time so it'd be less awkward. "My first kill was my cousin Luca and his girlfriend. They came about five weeks after my parents disappeared. They were stealing food from me. They were loud, reckless, and went scouting for drugs instead of supplies. But on the fourth day I went without food, I knew it was either me or them. Smythe ripped Vanessa apart while I stabbed Luca to death." Chenelle looked at her feet. "I left them outside to bleed out. They turned and I never had to see them again." Chenelle faced him. Her braids fell down her shoulders. Carl never noticed how pretty her hair was. She had really large and expressive eyes. He loved their darkness. "You know what's messed up? I'd do it again. Sometimes I wonder if I really liked it. It was just... I don't know how to describe it. Thrill? Knowing that I'm going to be the one to live? I don't know." Carl swallowed. He understood exactly what she was saying. "I've never had to again because after that I've been with you... and the others." He wanted to agree with her, but he was having an issue composing himself. Her story had his blood running. Unfortunately, it was showing in the wrong area. "Are you okay? You're turning red."

"Me? I'm good. I'm-" Chenelle crawled over to him. She felt the glands in his neck before feeling his forehead. Carl was embarrassed; this was not the time to have his cute friend touch him. She was oblivious to the signs, but ironically assessed him as a doctor would. By chance she saw what he'd wanted to hide. Finally understanding the situation, she blushed. Chenelle wanted to act as if she didn't, but she continued to look at his erection. "Shit."

"It's not a bad thing. You're a teenage boy. These "things" happen sometimes."

"There you go talking about me...," he whispered.

"Well, yeah I talk about you. I like you," she said even lower.

They locked eyes. Chenelle felt as if she would pass out when she felt the distance close between them. She had always wanted this to happen. Carl was her first love, her first kiss, her first everything. One thing seemed to lead to another. Although it wasn't Carl's first kiss, he'd been a virgin too. He was proud of himself for remembering to use protection. Unfortunately, it had expired three year prior to their use.

(A/N) I couldn't fit everything I wanted into this chapter. The thing about what happened on the run, Chenelle's baby, and the trip to Grady will be on the next chapter. To answer questions Carl is around 17, Chenelle is around 15. Even though there wasn't Richonne in this chapter, everything was needed to continue.

Next Chapter: Rick and Michonne talk about the horrors outside the walls.