Remember when i said I wouldn't be updating this very often? I meant it. But, since I'm expecting to get this updated only once a month (or every two months, maybe), the chapters will be longer and have a lot more in them. Like this one. For a first chapter, it has a lot, and I'm not going to say sorry.
I'm kind of going with something different with the the involvement of the babies, and you'll see what I mean. But when I say different, I say different for me. There's other stories that do it like this, and I've been wanting to have something like that, so this is the one where I have that. Don't hate me!
Anyway. I hope you like it. If not, well, oh well.
Bickslow stared down at the newborn in the basket on his dining table, his breakfast and job later that day long since forgotten. Confused didn't even begin to scratch the surface of how he felt then. He was confused, terrified, annoyed, and he had absolutely no idea what to do.
With a scowl firmly set in place, he looked back to the letter from the mother and read it for what was probably the thirtieth time that day already. Bickslow was desperately trying to get his head around it all and attempting to understand, but it was mostly a lost cause. He couldn't begin to fathom the possibility of the baby being his, yet she apparently was. It was the fact there was no proof that had Bickslow doubting it, because with no name or even information about her at all, Bickslow had nothing to go on. The only things he did know for certain included the baby in fact being a girl, her birthday, and her mother's name. And he assumed it all to be valid, considering it was all on a birth certificate from Magnolia's general hospital.
But seeing his first name and nothing else written in that box where the father's details went had Bickslow wanting to just drop the kid off on someone else's doorstep and walk away while saying 'fuck it all'. Whether it was true or not, he wasn't cut out for that shit. It really said a lot about his lifestyle when the mother's name didn't even ring any bells for him, because he just almost never got their names. They weren't there to learn each other's life stories; they were there to fuck. That's just how simple it was, and Bickslow loved the simplicity of it all.
But no matter how much Bickslow wanted to just run away from the responsibility he'd temporarily found himself with, he knew he couldn't. Not even he could be that heartless. Until he figured out what to do, he had to at least try and act like a responsible adult; a temporary guardian, even. She was just a baby, after all. She was defenceless, tiny, fragile, and just a little – or maybe incredibly – adorable.
Bickslow would just need some help though. Until things were sorted out, he would need someone helping him with her, because aside from the fact that he was damn fucking terrified of the entire situation, he really did know nothing about babies. To Bickslow, they were complex creatures, and he sure as hell wasn't going to even risk screwing a kid up that early in its life.
"What am I gonna do with you?" he mumbled with a sigh as he finally pulled a chair out from the table and sat down on it heavily, leaning forward on his elbow to peer into the basket in front of him.
He really did have to admit she was kinda cute. It wasn't like he was opposed to kids at all, because he did want them. One day. With the right person, that is. But it wasn't something he'd put a great deal of thought into either, because it was a long way off. He wasn't settling down any time soon.
When the baby squirmed ever so slightly in her basket, it made his scowl fade and brought a soft smile to his lips. He slowly lifted a hand to reach in to the basket, and gently tucked the soft blanket in to the side when he could see it coming loose again. He didn't know what came over him then, but his hand lingered, only lightly resting against her in the basket. For whatever reason, Bickslow suddenly felt a slight urge to hold her, and he didn't know why. It almost felt as if something inside of him was begging to have her in his arms. He just didn't understand it, nor did he understand how he felt right then.
But then she shifted again and he drew his hand back suddenly, and he breathed a sigh of relief. Yeah, no. Don't pick her up. You'd probably drop her. And he probably would. Well, at least he thought he would.
He looked back into the basket in front of him and watched the wrapped up bundle begin to shift more, and when she let out a small yawn, it was something he smiled at again. That's fucking adorable.
Except… She slowly opened her eyes then, and all traces of a smile were lost and all colour drained from his face. He sat up slightly just to get closer, and he found himself just inches from her own tiny face. "You mother fucker," he muttered under his breath. It wasn't really aimed at her. If anything, it was aimed at himself.
Because she had red eyes. The same red as his, more importantly.
Suddenly, Bickslow was a whole lot more convinced that the kid was actually his, because there was only one particular family in Fiore that had those eyes, and he was in that family. It was both a blessing and curse to have eyes so distinct – blood red with even darker rings in the iris – and Bickslow had always considered it a blessing. He'd always enjoyed being a little (or a lot) different, having never been one to conform to social standards.
But now? Now, he was convinced it was just a curse, because they only ran in his family, and it meant that she got her eyes from him. And all of a sudden, Bickslow was feeling a whole lot more terrified.
Pushing the chair back suddenly, Bickslow got up and began to pace a small area at the end of his table, one hand on his hip and his other in his hair and pushing it back. His heart was racing and his chest felt tight, and it was getting a whole lot harder to breathe. What the fuck am I going to do now? It was pretty damn safe to assume the kid was actually his, which meant that he had his daughter sitting on his dining table.
Just one word bounced around his head like it was on every drug imaginable, and Bickslow was actually beginning to wonder if he was high and the entire thing was a hallucination. He almost wished that was the case, because it would make everything a whole lot simpler.
He knew that wasn't the case though. He had a daughter. Living, breathing, and blinking up at him.
His mind was running rampant and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He had so many things to think about, because regardless of the fact that he had absolutely no idea what he was going to do, he had some things he needed to deal with before he could even think about making any life changing decisions. Like whether or not he was going to keep her.
And that decision was one that he really could not make. Not right then, anyway. As much as he wanted it to be an easy thing to decide on, he knew it was going to difficult. Especially when he was sure his heart was going to get involved. How could it not when he was quite literally looking at his flesh and blood and all he wanted to do was make the right decision?
Bickslow was pulled through his mind and pacing when he heard a quiet whimper, and he quickly went back to the table. "No, no, no. Don't do that," he pleaded, leaning forward to reach into the basket. Somewhere in his panicked mind, he thought it would be a good idea to gently nudge the tiny human, his hand flat against the blanket. "Come on, don't do that."
He only grimaced when the whimpering turned into full-blown crying – screaming, even – and Bickslow had to refrain from just running out of his house, jumping on the babies and flying to some place where there was no responsibility of being a temporary guardian – or parent, as it turned out – and no screaming children. He knew he couldn't do that though, because regardless of there actually being a small part of him that wanted to just escape and avoid the huge problem he found himself facing, he just had idea where his babies were.
It wasn't the first time he'd lost them, because quite often, they would sneak out to go and terrorise someone (and it was usually Evergreen). Having grown up with that magic and his immortal troupe of dolls, Bickslow would occasionally tune out to the constant tug he felt on his magic. It was never enough to ever be an issue or cause any problems anyway, so he just let them go off and do their own thing. He could still talk to them, assuming they weren't too far away, so he could find out where they were if he really wished. He wasn't going to do that then, though. First, he had to deal with his daughter. After that, he could call his babies back.
As she began to get louder, her tiny face getting more and more scrunched up and getting even more red as she cried, and once again, Bickslow was finding himself even more confused as to why he felt the way he did. He hated that sound with a passion, because he knew there was something wrong – there was something she needed – and Bickslow didn't know what to do about it. But it felt different somehow. He'd heard babies cry before, and sure, it was a terrible fucking sound, but with the one in front of him, it felt worse. It almost hurt him to see her like that, and Bickslow would be lying if he said he wasn't at all upset in that moment. He didn't know what it was though, because he didn't understand why he felt like he would do anything to comfort her, and why he wanted to just hold her again.
He had to remind himself not to though, and not to dwell on understanding every single new feeling. He could figure everything else out later, because right then, he needed to figure out what to do with the baby.
He tried tucking her in again, and he did his best to smile at her or use soothing shushing sounds, but they didn't work. "Come on, I don't know what you need." Bickslow tried his brain for something to do that would calm her down, and for whatever reason, the only ting he could think of in that moment that wasn't picking her up to rock her or something, was to to touch the tip of his finger to her tiny nose. If anything, he hoped it would distract her for at least a little while.
And it did. Sort of. Because when he did, she quickly stopped crying and just stared up at the face hovering above her own. Yes! Score! "Okay, okay…" Bickslow nodded as he grinned, feeling relief wash over him when his house fell into silence again. "Is this—Oh god, no, come on!" He touched her nose again, hoping that it was working, except the second time it just made her cry again.
So he tried tucking her in again, hoping that the fluffy blanket wrapped around her would soothe her, or at least stop her from squirming in it. And of course, it didn't help. "Why are you crying? Come on, I didn't do anything!" he said, his grin long gone, with his face doing little to hide how stressed he was in that moment. "Are you mad at me because I swore? Is this what this is about? Because I wasn't calling you a mother fucker. If it was anyone in this room, it would technically be me, since I did kinda sleep with whoever your mother i—okay, okay! No more rambling!"
Bickslow had already run out of ideas, and with a sigh, he went back to pacing like he was before. He just didn't even know where to begin when it came to babies. When he heard squealing just outside his house, he stopped and quickly went over to the window that was just by the lounge. He knelt on the cushion as he pushed the curtains back, and peered out through the window to see his neighbour and his two kids out on the path. Bickslow figured that he was probably walking them to school, judging by the time.
It was then that a brilliant idea came to him. And granted, it probably wasn't brilliant at all, but it was brilliant considering the circumstances. He knew the family that lived next to door to him had recently just expanded, having had a baby not terribly long ago. If anyone was going to know what to do with a newborn, it would be them. It wasn't like he was on the best terms with his neighbours, because he had pissed them off a few times over the few years he'd been there with some of the parties himself and his team had thrown when they'd all still lived in the same house. But, he'd grown up a bit since then (meaning he wasn't some annoying nineteen or twenty year-old anymore); he'd become a little more mature. He knew his neighbours didn't really hate him that much.
It was like borrowing a cup of sugar. His neighbours would surely help him. But, you know, he didn't need a cup of sugar; he needed someone to watch his daughter and frankly, get her to shut the hell up while he figured out who could actually help him. He had to go find someone to talk to; someone he could trust.
Bickslow was sure he hadn't gotten dressed so quickly in his entire life after that. He'd quickly run back to where his room was on the first floor in the master suite, and hurriedly pulled on the first set of clothes and shoes he could find, ditching his usual armour for just black jeans and a three-quarter sleeved tee.
By the time he was running out of his living room, basket and baby in hand as he pulled the door closed behind himself, he could see his babies coming from just down the path that led to the street his house was on.
"Where the hell were you guys?" he asked over the crying, ignoring the looks that the odd people on the street were giving him as he quickly went down his own path to head for his neighbour's front gate.
"Ever's!" Pippi replied as they all came into line just next to him.
"There's a baby crying," Puppu commented as it did a quick twirl around Bickslow's head.
"It's loud," Poppo said.
He rolled his eyes as he pushed the gate open and began to walk up the path. "Wow, aren't you guys observant," he muttered. "And yes, I know she's loud, but I don't know how to get her to stop crying." Bickslow looked down to her as he quickly stepped up onto the porch, and he lifted the basket up to hold it in both arms in front of him. "But I'm working on that."
When he reached the door, Pappa quickly hit his wooden body against the door to knock on it, Bickslow's hands otherwise occupied, and then fell into place behind him with the other four and waited with Bickslow for the door to open.
He grinned when he saw the familiar face of his less than pleased neighbour when she opened the door. "Hey," he greeted. "So—"
"Why on earth do you have a baby? And a crying one at that?" the woman asked, an eyebrow raised in surprise before she stepped forward to peek over the edge of the basket.
Bickslow had to commend her for not even flinching when she brought her face so purposely close to what was arguable the noisiest thing – or human, really – on the entire street. His head was already pounding, just from really a few minutes of listening to it. Then again, his neighbour had three kids; she was probably used to crying and screaming.
"That's an interesting story," Bickslow said. "Anyway, Ness, I need you to do me a huuuuuge favour."
She folded her arms before she looked up to Bickslow. "You need to me babysit this kid, right?"
"Please. I uh… I don't know what to do with her at the moment." He paused to hand her the basket when she opened her arms to it with a sigh. "I mean, I don't even know how to get her to stop crying. I just need you to watch her for a little bit while I go and find someone to help me sort this entire thing out."
Ness sighed again as she looked into the basket again, before she looked back up to Bickslow. "Fine, fine," she said. "You'll owe me for this though, Bickslow."
"Yes, I know! Just a couple of hours at most and I'll be back. I just… I kinda need someone who knows how to look after her for a little while until everything is sorted out, and I mean, you've got the kids an—"
"It's fine, I've got her," she interrupted with a roll of her eyes.
Bickslow nodded. "Right, okay. Thank you again, Vanessa. You're a lifesaver right now. I mean it."
"Like I said, it's fine," she said. "Now go and do whatever it is you need to do."
He nodded again when Vanessa took a step back into her house, taking the crying newborn in the basket with her. "Pappa, stay with her," he silently said to one of his souls, and he watched the tiki doll quickly zoom in through the door Vanessa was closing, and nestle itself in the corner of the basket.
For whatever reason, Bickslow needed to have at least one of his babies with her, and Pappa was the one with the least terrifying face etched on its body. But he could figure out why he wanted to know how his apparent daughter would be faring with his neighbour later, and why he felt constant updates from his oldest non-human companion would help ease his sudden anxiety. He didn't have time to worry about any of that, because right then, he needed to go and find someone that he could talk to about all of it, and hopefully, find someone he could trust to help him make the right decision.
Bickslow had been wandering Magnolia, completely lost in his thoughts for nearly an hour. It was only when he was near on the opposite side of town to where he lived did he even realise he'd left his visor at home, but it was just one of the rare occasions he didn't care. His could control his magic well enough – his Figure Eyes, more importantly – unlike most people thought, but he still walked with his head slightly down. It had just become a habit over the years, because he knew that most people who did know what he was capable of were not exactly the most inclined to look him in the eyes when he didn't have his visor – but not limited to, since it achieved the same thing as glasses, which he hated wearing – on. Hell, people who knew what he was capable of weren't exactly inclined to come near him without it on.
He didn't blame them though, and he didn't actually care all that much. It was something he'd dealt with his entire life – he could control living humans, and it was because of this his magic was considered a form of Black Magic. The fact he avoided having to use his Figure Eyes unless it was absolutely necessary did absolutely nothing in the way of making people see that Seith magic was fine if it wasn't abused – and it was something he would continue to deal with. He had no reason to care about the vast majority of opinions regarding his magic or him, because he had the guild, and the guild was one of the few places he could go where he knew no one would judge him or fear him.
So as Bickslow wandered the busy streets of Magnolia with the four remaining dolls just above him, he thought about who it was he would go to for help. It was the only thing he could think about at all, because that was kind of his priority: find someone to help him make the right decision who just happens to know about kids and everything. His first thought had been his parents, but that option had quickly been thrown out. There was no way in hell he'd go to them for help with his newfound problem. Never in a million years.
"The demon?" Puppu asked in his head.
Bickslow considered it for a second as he walked. The babies had been doing their best to help Bickslow decide on the best person to go to, and it wasn't because they were being helpful because they loved Bickslow. No, they were strangely excited about having a 'sister'. Bickslow's head had been a little chaotic as he silently argued with the other four babies – Pappa had only made one single comment the entire time, and that had been to inform Bickslow that his new sister had been hungry, hence the crying – as to why they couldn't see the human baby as their sister. And sure, it was just a little heart-warming to know that they liked the kid already –since they weren't exactly known for being the kindest to most people… But it was mostly Evergreen they irritated the living hell out of by being tiny flying menaces – but Bickslow had to explain that their new human sister could be leaving if the right decision just happened to be putting her up for adoption and giving her to a family and couple that actually wanted a baby.
But Mira… Sure, Mira was great with kids, and she probably knew a whole lot more about babies than anyone he knew, but the demon barmaid from matchmaking hell was also someone who didn't approve of his lifestyle. If she knew he had a kid from one of his more regretful one-night stands, then it would be the nail in his own coffin. Hell, he'd quite literally be putting it there himself – or he might as hell stick it in his eye – and subjecting himself to a life of 'I told you to settle down' and 'If you hadn't slept with a stranger and instead had her with someone you cared about, then you wouldn't be stuck with a baby you don't really want'.
That, and she'd tell Freed, and Freed would tell Evergreen, who would tell Laxus. And then Laxus would probably come and electrocute his balls and make him unable to have any more children (whether he wanted to or not was still to be determined). As that particular thought crossed his mind, he blanched, and had he not been walking, he probably would have shifted uncomfortably. "Definitely not Mira," he responded. "Or Freed… Or Ever… Or Laxus, for that matter." Bickslow knew he'd be opening himself up to a barrage of judgement from the three, and probably an intervention led by Freed about changing his habits. Of course, it didn't help that the two demons of the guild just happened to share similar ideologies when it came to Bickslow's personal life, and it was almost frustratingly annoying that they were also together.
"What about the Connells?"
That was one Bickslow didn't even need to consider. At all. "No way. They've already got Asuka anyway. They wouldn't be able to help. They're always busy."
"Master?" Poppo asked as Bickslow turned down a different street, slowly walking through one of the crowded café strips of Magnolia.
"Nope," he said, his thumbnail between his teeth with his free arm wrapping itself around his waist. He could fix his nails later. "He'd tell Laxus, and it would still come back to me basically being castrated. I'll pass, babies."
"Cana?" Pippi suggested, only to earn a snort from the Seith mage.
"Like fucking hell. Kids, maybe, but babies, no."
Pappa's quiet voice suddenly broke the strange silence in his mind when he'd run out of ideas. "Bickslow… You don't know people who are good with babies…"
Bickslow frowned. "I don't, do I?" A sigh escaped when he realised that the smiling tiki was right; he really didn't know that many people who would be suitable to talk to about the situation he was in. And sure, there were probably plenty of people in the guild that were actually good with babies, but none of them he really trusted enough to help him with his baby and the decision that goes with it. But speaking of his baby… "How is she, Pappa?" He couldn't stop himself from being curious.
"She's asleep at the moment. She's squishy, too."
The corner of his mouth pulled up into a small smirk as the quiet laughter of his babies filled his mind as he walked into one of the many open cafés in the area and over to the short queue by the counter.
"I'm telling you, when I have kids of my own, I'm going to be completely prepared for anything they think they can throw at me."
Bickslow turned when he heard a slightly familiar voice travel over the bustle inside the café, and his brow furrowed when he tried to pinpoint exactly where the chorus of giggling women was coming from.
"Oh, come on, Lucy," another familiar voice said, with Bickslow turning his head in the direction he was sure it was coming from. "Natsu and Gray aren't that bad."
His eyes went wide when he saw the group in question sitting at one of the tables in the outdoor seating area only a few tables away from where the counter was, and he quickly looked back to the person in the queue in front of him when he saw just who was there.
"No," Lucy insisted. "They're worse. Even Asuka is easier to babysit than those two morons!"
"Maybe you should get one of those two morons to help you babysit next time, if you get what I mean," Mira giggled. "You know, give them a hint or something…"
"Mira! You know that's not how things are!" Lucy shrieked, and a quick glance to the side again had Bickslow seeing just how red her face had gotten, and he couldn't help but chuckle quietly to himself.
"If you say so, Lu," Levy said with a heavy sigh before Bickslow heard the scrape of a chair on the pavement as he moved forward. "Anyway, I promised I'd help Freed with deciphering something for a job the Raijinshuu are taking, so I'll see you around."
Fuck. I forgot about that. And just as he remembered the job he was supposed to be leaving for with his team in just a few hours, he found himself wondering if he'd even remembered to turn off the damn stove in his house. The baby being delivered on his doorstep had kinda screwed up his head, not to mention his morning.
"I have to leave too, actually," Mira said with another scrape of a chair. "I'm glad we got to do this, though. We rarely get a chance to do things like this. Maybe next time we'll get some more people to join us?"
"Yeah, maybe," Lucy replied, and once again, Bickslow found himself glancing over to her table to see her beginning to fiddle with her bag. "I'll see you guys later."
Bickslow made himself as inconspicuous as possible, given he was watching them, as Levy and Mira quickly disappeared into the people that walked the bustling streets, and he took another step forward when he saw the queue moving in his peripherals.
"Cosplayer probably knows more about babies than you do…" Pippi chimed in.
"I know…" Bickslow replied.
"And she's a nice person…" Puppu added.
"And you trust her…" Poppo said.
"I know, babies." Bickslow knew exactly what they were saying, too. The blonde at the table just a few feet away seemed like an almost perfect match to the person he needed to talk to about everything.
She'd babysat Asuka before – and apparently Gray and Natsu – so she was at least good with children. She seemed smart enough to know how to look after a baby – or at least a whole lot better than Bickslow would, because he couldn't even figure out that his own daughter was hungry – and she genuinely was a nice person that Bickslow could probably trust. She was too nice, actually, and it was that thought that had Bickslow quickly leaving the queue to get his much needed coffee fix and sitting down in the chair just opposite her when she began to get up.
"Oh, hi, Bickslow," Lucy said with a bright smile. "I didn't know you were here."
He nervously drummed his fingers on the glass tabletop as he kept his eyes down. "Hey, look, I um…" he mumbled. "Can I talk to you about something?"
She sat down when her brows rose in surprise, and she placed her small bag back down on the table next to her empty cup. "Of course. What about?" she asked. She could see the Seith mage was troubled about something, and she didn't think she'd be a very good friend if she couldn't at least listen to him.
"Where do I even start, babies?" he asked, briefly glancing down to the four dolls as they settled down on his lap. Could he really just straight up say, 'I need your help with a baby who is apparently mine and I need you to help me decide what to do with her'? He didn't think so. He knew that was just bound to cause more problems.
But… He also didn't know where to begin, because if he asked the wrong questions – like whether or not Lucy knew anything about babies or kids in general, for example – then it could really just make her suspicious. He didn't need that either, because there was something telling him that Lucy was someone who really would be able to help him with his problem. He didn't want to make things worse for himself by making her suspicious.
She was smart, kind, obviously knew a decent amount of information when it came to children, and Bickslow thought she'd be able to help him make a certain life changing decision. The blonde in front of him was the perfect person for all of that in his eyes.
"Maybe you could show her?" Pappa's little voice was heard.
"That's actually not a bad idea," Bickslow replied. He just had to find a way to get her to his house without explaining things. Fuck, this day just gets worse and worse.
He looked up then to see Lucy looking at him, hints of concern in her walnut eyes, and his own brow furrowed. "Are you busy at the moment?" he asked.
"Not at all," Lucy said.
Bickslow nodded as he slowly stood, the babies floating up to hover above his head again. "Okay, good…" he mumbled. "So I kind of need your help with something, and I mean, you're totally justified to say no, but I need to show you it… I can't really explain it… Not here, anyway."
Lucy blinked as she looked up before she stood up, swinging her bag over her shoulder and pushing her chair in slightly. What's the worst that could happen? "Alright." Lucy smiled up at Bickslow before she slowly began to follow him out of the café. "Where was… whatever it is you need to show me?" she asked.
"Um… At my house, actually." Bickslow folded his arms across his chest as he slowed his pace, inwardly cursing the blonde for being so short and himself for being so tall. "But, before you like, completely agree or even come with me, I need to ask that you don't tell anyone about what it is."
"I'm not going to become an accomplice to a crime or anything, am I?"
"No, no. Fuck, definitely not," Bickslow muttered, turning to lead Lucy down a quiet side street. "Nothing like that."
"Nothing illegal of any sort?"
Bickslow rolled his eyes. "Why you gotta assume the worst?" he grumbled before he came to a stop on the sidewalk, then turned to look down to the blonde. "Now… How do you feel about heights?"
She raised an eyebrow in confusion and looked to the Seith mage, her own arms folded just under her bust. "Why do you ask that?"
"Because it's going to be a hell of a lot easier to get across town by flying." He paused to rub the back of his neck sheepishly before he nodded upwards, gesturing to the floating tiki dolls. "You know, on the babies." Sure, they could walk, but he really didn't want to. The sooner he got back home, the better, and with the babies, they could be there in just a matter of minutes.
But of course, there was the issue of whether or not Lucy would be okay with that, and he really wasn't sure if she would be.
"Come fly with us, Cosplayer!" the dolls chirped as they bobbed up and down.
She sighed when she looked up to them, before dropping her arms back to her sides. Oh, to hell with it. You let a damn cat carry you; you might as well let a human do so. "Are you going to drop me?" she asked cautiously. She'd been dropped by Happy, and granted, it had been in the ocean, but she was sure she wouldn't come out so unscathed if Bickslow were to drop her, especially over Magnolia.
"No," he said, though he couldn't help but let his eyes wander up and down her form, taking in the tight shirt that clung to every single curve she had, from her bust to the flare of her hips, and to the short skirt that would probably give him a great view of her ass. He'd tap that, sure, but drop that? Not a chance.
"Hey, quit that," Lucy mumbled when she folded her arms again, and she could feel the heat on her cheeks as she turned away slightly. She wasn't entirely so sure how she felt about Bickslow so obviously checking her out.
He shook his head. "Sorry," he mumbled. He had to tune out the chipper laughter from the babies in his head and their ridiculing over being caught. Not like it was the first time, though. It was just a hell of a lot harder without the visor.
"It's okay…" Lucy sighed before unfolding her arms again. "Now, how do you want to do this? I mean… Since there's obviously not enough room for me to stand too…"
Bickslow rubbed the back of his neck again before he quickly stepped forward to be standing next to her. "This should work." He leant down slightly, only bending his knees enough to get one arm behind her legs and the other around her back, and he scooped her up into his arms with a slight groan, letting her sit unsteadily in his arms for a moment. "Damn, Cosplayer. Where the hell are you keeping all of that? Your tits?"
Lucy blushed furiously as she slapped his chest and turned her head away, missing the tongue-lolling grin from him as he stepped onto the four remaining babies. It was bad enough he was commenting on her weight, which as something she'd always been a little self conscious about, but he just had to make a crude joke out of it too.
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. You're fine," he said. She was actually pretty light, not that he would complain if she wasn't. He was just messing with her because he could. He liked seeing her blush far too much.
Lucy sighed as she sat with her chin resting in her palm, her free hand anxiously drumming her knee. When Bickslow had said he needed to show her something at his house, she'd never expected to be told to sit and wait. Sure, it had really only been a minute or two of sitting in the surprisingly nice house in the living space with the beige walls and the nice furniture – because as she waited, she'd had a little bit of time to look around the room to take note of her surroundings. Lucy would be lying if she said the lived-in space completely suited Bickslow. Or so she thought, anyway – but still, she didn't like that she had to wait.
Luckily, though, Bickslow was coming back through his front door with a large basket in his arms before Lucy had a chance to snoop and notice the fact that a birth certificate was sitting on his dining table not too far from where she sat.
"Okay, so… Please, please don't like, totally freak out. Or you can, just… quietly," Bickslow mumbled as he quickly walked around to where Lucy was sitting on the corner-sofa.
"Cosplayer is going to freak out," the babies all chanted in his head.
"Oh, I know, babies. I know."
When Bickslow gently placed the basket with the sleeping newborn, all wrapped up in her yellow blanket, down on the coffee table in front of Lucy, her eyes went wide and she sat forward on the lounge. "Why on Earthland do you have a baby?" she hissed, suddenly getting to her feet to follow Bickslow over to the dining table.
Damn, she's intimidating. Small, but intimidating. He shrugged when he rifled through the papers on the table to pick up the unfinished birth certificate, then turned back to face the blonde. If it was any other time, he probably would have made some sort of joke about how he thought she actually looked pretty cute when she looked so shocked and confused, but he knew he couldn't. He needed her help, and pissing her off was not a good way to get that.
"Because apparently she's mine," he mumbled, his eyes trained on his hands while handing her the page.
"Y-Yours? As in… As in you have a daughter?" Lucy looked between Bickslow, the page in her hands with barely enough information for any of it to make sense, and the sleeping baby on the coffee table just behind her.
He rubbed at the back of his neck sheepishly as he walked around the blonde to sit down on one of the cushions on the sofa, and stare at his apparent daughter. "Yup. Apparently."
Her brow became furrowed as she read over the birth certificate again and again. She sighed quietly before looking down to the other pieces of paper on the table to pick them up and quickly skim over them. Lucy knew she couldn't freak out. She couldn't really be mad, nor could she yell. As strange as it was to see Bickslow with a baby it wasn't her place to be mad; he asked for her help and she was going to give it to him. She had to stay calm, and because it would be easier to make sense of everything if she was calm. She could put everything into a logical order to figure out how Bickslow had a baby in a first place, and more importantly, why he had come to her of all people for help.
Plus, she knew she wasn't going to be of any help at all if she was too busy freaking out.
"Are you sure?" Lucy asked quietly as she went to sit down next to Bickslow once he'd gone over to the lounge. "I mean… How can you even be sure she's yours?" Just from the information on the birth certificate and what she'd read of the short letter, there really was no evidence that she was actually Bickslow's daughter. It didn't really help that she knew the mother, and she wasn't exactly the most honest of people. From that alone, Lucy was doubting whether Bickslow was the actual father.
"Because she has red eyes."
"Okay… But lots of people have red eyes. That doesn't really definitively prove anything."
"It does," Bickslow said softly as he lifted his head from his hands. "Because she has my eyes. And unless her mother fucked my brother, which is even less likely than her being my actual daughter, then she's actually mine."
Lucy placed the papers down on the coffee table next to the basket and her mouth twisted into a tight line. If Bickslow is sure she's his, then I'll have to believe him, she thought. "Alright then. But where do I fit in with all of this?" she asked quietly.
He dropped his head again and clasped his hands behind his head, his fingers lacing together through his hair. "Because I have no fucking idea what to do, and… And I need someone to help me figure that out." Bickslow wouldn't be above saying he actually needed Lucy if it came down to it, because he really was convinced she was the only person who would be able to help him, and it was something he didn't quite understand. "But I know it's actually a lot to ask, so if you don't want to get involved then I wouldn't blame you or anything," he mumbled.
"I'll help," Lucy said quickly, almost without thinking. She smiled reassuringly when Bickslow turned his head to look at her, and the mix of relief and shock in the eyes that were apparently the same as the newborn in front of them had Lucy deciding she really would help, no matter what it meant.
They were nakama, and that meant they looked out for each other and helped with anything they needed help with. Although Lucy didn't quite know how she was going to be of help, she would try and do her best. She had to, because Bickslow was her friend, and that's just how Fairy Tail worked.
"I mean, you'll have to give me a bit of an idea as to what it is you need me to do, but I'll help you as best I can," she said.
Bickslow couldn't help but quickly wrap his arms around her shoulders to rest his chin on her shoulder. "Are you sure? I mean… I don't even really know myself what I need you to help me with." And he didn't. He knew the things he needed to decide, but as much as he wanted someone to make that decision for him, Bickslow knew it was only one he could make.
Still, though, Lucy could help get him to a point where he could make that decision. Maybe. He hoped so.
"I'm sure," she laughed.
Bickslow sighed in relief and nodded slightly. "Thank you. Like, seriously. Thank you." He sat back again and ran his hands through his hair, and glanced down to his daughter who was still sleeping with Pappa resting in the corner of the basket, before turning back to Lucy with a sheepish grin. "Now… How much do you know about babies?" he asked.
Lucy laughed again. "I'm going to guess I know a little bit more about them than you do, judging by how you're acting right now."
"Wouldn't be hard, considering I know nothing. At all."
"Well, luckily for you, I'm not completely terrible when it comes to kids." She shifted forward on the lounge, and she reached forward to gently get her hands under the newborn and lift her into her arms before sitting back and pulling her in against her chest, with her hand under the baby's head. "So… How exactly did you end up with a baby?" she asked quietly.
"She got dropped off at my front door, like, an hour ago. The um, the letter and the birth certificate and all that were tucked in the side of the basket." His eyes were transfixed on the blonde smiling down at the newborn who was his daughter, and no matter what, he couldn't look anywhere else. It was strangely… cute. "Other than that, well… Accidents happen, I suppose," he chuckled.
"So you didn't know about her until this morning?"
"Not a clue."
Lucy sighed as she fiddled with the blanket. "Well, it's nice to see karma bite her in the ass," she mumbled, only before turning back to Bickslow as a blush crept up onto her cheeks, and quickly said, "I mean, just because she obviously cheated and all. Sucks you got her knocked up, but… Yeah…" Oh god, Lucy. Shut up. For once in your life, be quiet.
His brow arched in amusement as his lips pulled up into a smirk. "Oh? You know my baby mama?" Suddenly Bickslow was a lot happier that Lucy was sticking around to help, especially if it meant finding out some juicy tales, because she obviously didn't exactly have a friendly relationship with the woman whose name he still hadn't paid attention to.
"It's not that important. Or really relevant," Lucy insisted, a faint blush colouring her cheeks and the tips of her ears.
"Oh, come on. Tell me, Cosplayer," he grinned. "You gotta tell me how you know her, considering I still don't even know her name."
Lucy closed her eyes as she fought the urge to scold Bickslow for not even getting the woman's name before he slept with her. Or even paying attention to it on the birth certificate. She knew it wasn't her place to judge, so she wasn't going to. Lucy sighed as she opened her eyes again, only to turn to see the Seith mage smirking at her, and she looked back to his daughter in her arms. "Okay, so, a while ago, I went to this club with Cana, and uh… I guess I needed to relax more than I'd originally thought, since I ended up drinking way too much…"
"Oh, I'm liking where this is going."
"Shut up," she grumbled. "Anyway, I kind of ended up spending the night with this guy—"
Bickslow let out a howl of laughter that had the newborn shifting slightly. "Never thought you were that type of girl, Cosplayer." Getting blind drunk and sleeping with strangers was his thing – and most people knew it – but to know that Lucy did it? Well, that was a piece of information he found highly valuable.
"I'm not." And she wasn't. Sure, she wasn't exactly as innocent as everyone thought she was, but she wasn't the type to sleep with strangers on a regular basis. It was a rare occurrence, if anything, but she really wasn't going to go into detail about her sex life (or, lack thereof, for the most part) with Bickslow of all people. She would be opening herself up to teasing that she knew she wouldn't be able to just shake her head at and ignore. "But anyway, I went about my life as normal. Like I usually do, because I mean…" She paused to clear her throat, then mumbled, "It's not like it was the first time it happened."
"Ah, so you're not as much of a man-whore as I am," he chuckled, only to instantly wish he hadn't said it at all. "I mean, not that you're a man. Or a whore."
"Good job, Bickslow," the babies giggled in his head.
"Shut up," he silently grumbled.
Lucy sighed again, shaking her head at him. "Anyway. A week later, this girl shows up at my apartment. Turns out she's the fiancée of the guy I slept with, so, you know, she starts having a go at me and all that. It wasn't like I knew he had a girlfriend, and if I had known, I wouldn't have done it, even though I was like, completely drunk."
"I'm guessing this girl is her mother?" Bickslow asked, nodding his head to the newborn.
"Yeah, she is," Lucy said. "But it was only when she called me a home-wrecker did I start to feel really guilty, considering she said she was pregnant. With her fiancé's child, of course."
Bickslow's brow furrowed slightly. "Wait, when was this?"
"About seven months ago. Something like that."
"Right… So I'm going to assume she was just being a hypocritical bitch? I mean, if I knocked her up nine months ago, and she was engaged seven months ago…"
"Pretty much," Lucy sighed. "I kinda feel bad for not being sorry anymore though. I mean, if the baby was yours the entire time… Well, I don't really feel guilty for breaking them up now."
Bickslow laughed again, though he regretted doing it so loud when his daughter shifted again. He didn't want to be disturbing her, especially when he was still recovering from his headache from the last time she cried. "They broke up?"
"A couple of months ago, actually," Lucy giggled before she looked back down to the baby, and remained silent until she was sure she was still asleep. "But… With her… Do you um… Do you know if you're going to keep her?" she asked, changing the subject. That was the important question, really.
"I… I don't know," he sighed.
Lucy frowned before she sat forward on the lounge again. "Here," she said quietly, gently moving her arms to hold her out to Bickslow. "You're the one that should be holding her, not me."
His eyes went wide and he tried his best to sink back into the lounge. "N-No… I… I haven't… I've never…" Bickslow stammered. He was still scared of holding her, but he also still wanted to hold her. He wanted to feel her in his arms, but he couldn't help but think holding her would help him make a certain decision.
And whether it was a wise one or not was still something to be determined.
"You've haven't held your daughter?" she asked, her own eyes wide in shock when he shook his head. "Have you held a baby at all?"
"No…"
Lucy sighed. "Bickslow, hold your daughter." And before Bickslow could try and slink further away, she gently pushed the newborn into his arms so he really had no choice but to hold her. Lucy smiled softly at the panicked look in his eyes before she looked back down to gently move his hands to the right positions. "See? Is this so bad?" she asked, sitting back down on the edge of the lounge.
Bickslow was suddenly finding himself unable to even find a single word – or even make a single noise – to respond, and slowly, he sank back into the lounge to get comfortable. He stared down at her in amazement, almost, and the longer he sat there, the less doubts he had about her actually being his. It was almost as if just holding her in his arms made him wholeheartedly see that she was his; he had a daughter. A living, breathing, tiny, adorable daughter. And she was in his arms.
And suddenly, Bickslow didn't entirely know if it was because he felt a connection to her, just because she was his daughter and he had her so close, but his mind was leaning a lot more towards one particular decision. And that decision scared him, but it was one he still wasn't ready to make. Not just yet, anyway.
And Lucy could see the change in Bickslow the longer he sat there. She saw the way he relaxed and how everything softened, and it really did make her smile.
She could, however, also see what she needed to do to help Bickslow, and it was because she was his friend that she would do that.
"How about you give it a little while to decide what you want to do with her?" she said softly. "You know, just see how things go. And I'll help you with her until you've figured it all out. How does that sound?"
And to that, Bickslow could only nod, still unable to draw his eyes away.
Bickslow looked down at the newborn in his arms through tired eyes. He was on the verge of actually being exhausted, but no matter how tired he was, he couldn't sleep. He couldn't even have fallen asleep if he'd tried. And even then, it would only be for a couple of hours at most before he had to get back up and feed his daughter. Which, was something he wouldn't know how to do on his own at all, if it weren't for Lucy, or his neighbour coming over to drop off a few things he'd need to be able to look after her.
Carefully and slowly, Bickslow shifted on the lounge to bring his legs up onto the cushions to cross his ankles in front of him. He glanced down to the blonde who was curled up on the other half of the corner lounge, the pillow her head was resting on brushing up against his thigh, and sighed quietly before tipping his head back to rest against the top of the backrest.
He hadn't completely expected Lucy to stay. Not for the entire night, anyway, but he was glad that she was there, even if she had fallen asleep in the peace and quiet that had followed his daughter's brief bout of screaming. She was staying because he had no idea how to look after his own daughter, but he really wanted to learn. He wanted to learn because there was a part of him that didn't want to let go of her.
It was strange, and terrifying. It was a million things at once, really. But he just wanted to keep his daughter in his arms. He wanted to keep her safe and hold onto her just to keep her close. And that was the terrifying part. It completely terrified Bickslow that he found himself no longer willing to let go of her, and he knew that he was going to have to if he ended up letting another couple or family adopt her.
But he didn't want to do that. It was barely even four o'clock in the morning; not even twenty-four hours since Bickslow had known he had a daughter, but he was almost glad she existed. And sure, his first reaction had been straight out denial. And then a bit of shock, and then some more denial. But now? Now Bickslow was just scared, but he was strangely happy. It didn't matter that not even twenty-four hours earlier, he hadn't wanted a kid and he wanted nothing more than to just run away and forget about the idea of even having a kid. Because now, he wanted to stay. He'd held her in his arms and he didn't want to let go.
He almost couldn't believe that he was even thinking about it though, because he was almost sure it was the worst idea he'd ever had. Just because he actually wanted to keep her. And Bickslow knew it was going to be an incredibly difficult path to take, but there was a part of him that said it would be worth it.
Somewhere deep down, Bickslow knew that it wouldn't really be the worst decision he could possibly make, and the responsibility he knew he was afraid of didn't seem all that terrifying. He wanted to take that responsibility on. He wanted to be responsible for his daughter, regardless of her really being an accident.
And Bickslow knew the exact moment everything had changed; the exact second he began to wonder if he could actually pull it all off and be a father to his own daughter. As soon as he'd held her – as soon as Lucy had forced him to hold his daughter – in his arms, it had all changed.
"Oh, what am I going to do with you?" he mumbled quietly as he slid down. He slowly brought his knees up, doing his best to not move the pillow that Lucy was resting on, and gently lowered his daughter to rest on his legs so his hands could lightly come to surround her small head. "I'd literally be like the worst father. I mean, I'm probably better off letting someone else have you. Wouldn't want to screw up your life, not when you're so small and all."
"You wouldn't be the worst father."
His eyes went wide and a warm heat filled his cheeks when he heard Lucy's sleep-ridden voice and her shifting beside him to sit up. "Sorry… I didn't mean to wake you up," Bickslow mumbled again before he turned his attention back to his daughter with a soft frown. "And I would be. I mean, I don't even know the first thing about babies. It's just a disaster waiting to happen if I keep her." And that's what had Bickslow so worried about the possibility of whether or not he could actually do it.
The last thing he wanted to do was screw up his daughter's life before it had even begun. Hell, he didn't want to screw up any kid's life before it had even begun, but because it was about his daughter did it make it that much more important to Bickslow. It was because she was his daughter that Bickslow wanted her to get the best chance at life, and it was just another one of the things that made Bickslow worry. He already knew he cared too much about her, but he also knew that he was going to have to put that aside, just because it could be in his daughter's best interest.
He wanted her to grow up happy and in a family. It wasn't an issue that she'd grow up loved, because Bickslow was sure that he already did love her, but he wasn't so sure he could give her the happy life she deserved. He couldn't give her a family, not an actual one, anyway. He was sure there was a family out there that could bring her up in a loving environment. Keep her safe, and more importantly, give her happiness.
And Bickslow almost wished he could give her everything he thought she deserved, but he couldn't get that one thought out of the back of his head that reminded him that he couldn't be a father. He couldn't be a father whether he wanted to or not, because he wasn't that type of person.
There was no way he could be solely responsible for someone. Especially when he wasn't ready to be, and right then, he wasn't. Maybe if it had been a few years down the track, things would be different. But for now he wasn't ready to be an actual father, no matter how much he wanted to be.
He sighed again when his thumbs lightly brushed against her soft cheeks, and his mouth twisted into a frown as her own pulled into a soft smile for just a moment.
"Have you gotten any sleep yet?" Lucy asked softly as she focused her eyes on Bickslow. She could see what was going through his head, even if he'd mostly been silent about what he wanted to do with his daughter.
She had been watching him all day and all night, because she was worried about him. She knew he was scared and confused, but she was doing her best to make things just that little bit easier for Bickslow. It was why she'd stayed as long as she did, because she knew he needed her help. She'd stayed to teach him the basics of looking after a baby – from the feeding, and changing, to the way to hold her – and she'd stayed to take care of her when Bickslow had needed to go and give an excuse to his team to sit that job out. More importantly, she'd stayed to be the friend that he'd needed.
It didn't matter that Bickslow had mostly remained silent and avoided discussing whether or not he did want to keep his daughter or not, because Lucy could see it. She could see that he was considering keeping her and not giving her up, but she also knew it wasn't really a decision she could help him with. She could ease his worries and do her best to help him see that whatever decision he makes would be the right one, but until that time came, she couldn't do much. It was up to Bickslow what he wanted to do, because it was his daughter and his life and he solely had to decide if he wanted it to change.
It also didn't matter what Lucy thought Bickslow should do, or hoped he would do, because she couldn't influence or guide him in any way. It was just a matter of being there for a friend when he needed her, and that meant easing his worries and concern, and helping him when he needed her help.
But, helping Bickslow also meant making sure he was in the right mind to make a life-changing decision, and when he as running on empty, he was not going to be able to make that choice.
When he shook his head, keeping his eyes on his daughter, Lucy sighed quietly before gently reaching forward to wrap her hands around the newborn's middle and lift her up and out of Bickslow's hands. "You need to get some sleep, Bickslow," Lucy said softly.
"But… What about her?" he mumbled, watching as Lucy gently lowered her into the basket on the coffee table. "I mean, she'll probably have to be—"
"She's asleep right now," Lucy said as she sat back down next to Bickslow. "And when she needs to be fed in a little while, I will deal with it. I told you I would help you, remember?" She tried to smile reassuringly then, only for Bickslow to turn his eyes back to his daughter as he sat up, and pull his bottom lip between his teeth. "You know… If you do decide to keep her, then you're not going to be able to do it by staying awake all night all the time," she said slowly.
Lucy knew it was something she shouldn't have mentioned – not really, anyway – but it was only just a reminder. Giving Bickslow the facts he'd need to make a decision was something she could do. Assuming she kept her own opinions and hopes out of it. It was just a simple fact. A well known fact, really, and Bickslow needed to know that.
Bickslow knew she was right; he did need his sleep, even if it would just be for a couple of hours, and that was assuming he could fall asleep at all. He truly did know that she really was helping him, whether it be teaching him how to look after a baby if he went that way, or remind him of the things he knew and also needed to know. And he was truly grateful for that.
No matter what his decision was, Bickslow knew he was going to need to find a way to thank Lucy properly. But he also knew that he wasn't going to be able to do that at four o'clock in the morning when he really was exhausted.
"Alright, alright…" Bickslow sighed as he slowly pushed himself up to stand, and he pushed his hand through his hair. "My room's at the end of the hall, next to the bathroom. I'd say wake me if you need me, but I doubt you would," he slurred, suddenly feeling the sleep catch up to him again. "Thanks, Lucy." Just two words he was sure he was going to be saying a lot more.
He stared at the pamphlet in front of him as he sat at his dining table. The unfinished birth certificate and the charming letter from the mother both sat in front of the pamphlet, but he wasn't paying attention to them. He could only focus on the pamphlet with the bland cover with the daunting tile of Considering Putting Your Child Up for Adoption. It had come in the basket with his daughter and the rest of the papers, but he hadn't even thought about reading it. Not until that moment, anyway.
Bickslow couldn't even bring himself to open it though. He'd sat there for god knows how long just staring at the cover it, because he didn't want to open it.
It wasn't even nine o'clock in the goddamn morning, still barely even twenty-hours since his daughter had arrived on his doorstep, and he'd made up his mind. And it really fucking terrified him. Bickslow had never expected it to be a decision that would be made quickly and easily, but that's almost what had happened.
Bickslow knew that he'd made up his mind as soon as he'd held her. As soon as he'd held her in his arms, he'd known deep down that he could only go about it one way. Bickslow couldn't give her up; he couldn't give his daughter up.
"I can't." He suddenly shot up from his chair as the legs slid along the hardwood floor, and his hand flew to his mouth. If anything, it was to stop him from wanting to cry out in frustration. Because that's what he wanted to do. He wanted to scream and shout out his frustration at the jumbled nerves and emotions that had been rolling around in his head.
He was so frustrated that he wanted to completely turn his life upside down and that he'd been able to make that decision so quickly. He was completely willing to take on something huge when he barely knew how to even do it. He was willing and wanting to become a father when he had absolutely no fucking idea how to be. How in the world was none of that frustrating?
Bickslow hadn't wanted a kid then, and definitely not like that. He really wasn't that opposed to having kids eventually, but with the right person. It was never supposed to be with someone whose name he couldn't remember, and it was never supposed to be an accident.
But even though his daughter was the epitome of an accident, he didn't care. He was almost glad she existed. He was glad that he got to meet his daughter, and as terrified as he was about doing what he wanted to do, he was pretty damn excited about it. Because after all, it was his daughter. His living, breathing, tiny, adorable daughter.
And as Lucy came back down the hall, her arms raised as she tied her hair up into a messy bun, she saw Bickslow sit down on the lounge and rest his elbows on his knees to look into the basket. His eyes were wide, his pulse was racing, and the fear was beginning to set in again.
"Oh fuck. I can't do this," he muttered again.
"Yes you can, Bickslow," Pappa whispered.
"You'll be fine," the other four agreed as they hovered around him.
But really, could he do it? He had to, because that's what he wanted to do. If he wanted to keep his daughter, then he'd have to find a way to do it all.
"What can't you do?" Lucy asked. Her brow became furrowed when she could see the panicked looked on his face, and from that alone Lucy knew that he'd made up his mind. The only problem was that she didn't know what he'd decided, and she was suddenly feeling anxious over it. She felt a cold hand wrap around her heart and Lucy had to bite down on her emotions as her chest tightened.
He could feel her soft eyes boring into the side of his skull too, but he ignored it. Instead, he only reached forward to gently pick the newborn up, his hands wrapping around her before pulling her into his arms so he could look down at her with a soft smile. "I can't give her up," he whispered.
Hearing those words, Lucy almost felt so relieved she could cry, as the tightness in her chest evaporated with his words. She wasn't entirely why so she felt so strongly about it. She knew that she'd hoped Bickslow would decide to keep his daughter rather than let her go to another family, but she didn't think she'd be that glad to know that Bickslow couldn't do the latter.
But, she knew it was something she couldn't question. She couldn't question the way she felt about it because it wasn't about her; it was about Bickslow and his daughter.
"Then don't," she said quietly, and with a soft smile, she leant to the side to gently rest her head on Bickslow's shoulder to follow his gaze.
Bickslow didn't mind the contact though. "Tell me I'm not making a mistake," he said, his voice was barely above a whisper. That was what he needed Lucy for then. He needed her to tell him whether he was making a huge mistake and that he couldn't actually do it. And sure, it would hurt like hell if that was really the case, but he wanted to believe Lucy would be right, because she was always right.
Just once, Bickslow needed her to be brutally honest and tell him to do what was probably a whole lot better for his daughter, because without it, he really wouldn't be able to let her go.
Lucy wasn't going to do that though. She didn't need to do that. "It's only going to be a mistake if you let it be one," she said instead. She was there to be Bickslow's friend, and she was there to reassure him and ease his worries. She wasn't there to force Bickslow into doing something he didn't want to do, because she could see that he really wanted to keep his daughter.
But she could also see that he desperately wanted to believe he wouldn't be ruining her life. Lucy knew he wouldn't be doing that though, and she needed Bickslow to see that. If anything, she needed him to believe in himself, because that was what he needed. He needed to believe in himself like she believed in him.
Bickslow was quickly realising that's what she was doing too, and hell, was he a whole lot more grateful for Lucy being there in that moment. She had her head on straight when he didn't, and she was bringing him back down to earth when he'd needed. And in such a relatively short time, she'd done that a lot, and with just a few words each time. She'd known exactly what to say to make him see things clearly or to put things into perspective when he couldn't, and he'd needed that.
He'd needed Lucy, and without a doubt, he was going to continue to need Lucy. If he wanted to keep his daughter and give her the life that he wanted her to have, then he was going to need a lot of help. He wouldn't be able to do it alone.
"I'm going to screw this up. Royally," Bickslow said. It was guaranteed, really. Him, being a father when he knew nothing about kids.
"Do you think new parents don't screw up at all?" she laughed quietly. "Just because most people plan to have kids, it doesn't mean they're totally prepared for what comes with it. You can screw up, and you can make mistakes. Every parent does at some point, but that's okay. Mistakes are what make us human, but we learn from those mistakes."
Bickslow rolled his eyes. "I was kinda hoping you'd say that I wasn't going to screw up, to be honest," he mumbled.
"Bickslow, I'm sorry, but you're going to screw up. And you're going to do so big time," Lucy laughed again before tilting her head back on his shoulder to look up to him to see his smirk as he glanced to her from the corner of his eyes. "But it's a learning curve. You're not going to become the best parent overnight. You know that."
"I suppose." And he had to admit that she really did have a point. He wasn't going to pick it all up instantly, and he sure as hell wasn't going to be able to figure out something as huge and daunting as being a parent without making a few – or a lot of – mistakes along the way. "But… You know I'm not going to be able to do this on my own…" he mumbled.
And he meant it. He was going to need a fuck load of help with raising his daughter. Whether it be to help him actually look after her and teach him how to be a parent, or to keep him grounded and give him the reminders and reassurance he'd constantly need. He would need all of that constantly because he was not going to be able to be a single parent. Not without at least a little help, anyway.
"And you're not going to be on your own," Lucy said. "You'll have me, and you'll have the guild."
Bickslow's head suddenly shot up. "Oh shit. My team is going to kill me." Ever's going to murder me… Freed is going to murder me… Laxus is going to murder me… Fuck. They're all going to murder me and think I'm absolutely insane.
"You still have a few days until they get back though, right?"
"Two weeks, actually."
Lucy lifted her head from his shoulder and slowly pushed herself up to stand. "Okay, so you've got two weeks to get everything sorted out then." She quickly went over to the dining table to pick up up the birth certificate, before picking up a book from a shelf and a pen from a desk, and then sit back down on the edge of the lounge. "You'd want to get it all done as quickly as possible, right? You'll still need to think of a name for her, and finish the rest of this. Plus, you'll need to register her birth at the courthouse, and I'm assuming her mother didn't do that since she doesn't have a name," she said.
"Right… She has to have a name…" he mumbled.
"Do you have any ideas for one?"
Bickslow shook his head. "Nope." He had absolutely no ideas when it came to a name for her. Well, only one idea, but he knew it was a terrible one. "Not unless Scout is a name. I'm not entirely sure why that's stuck in my head right now though."
"You are not naming your daughter Scout," she scoffed. "But how about we leave the naming part to last? You know, you can think on it considering she'll be stuck with it for the rest of her life."
Bickslow could only sigh before he looked back down to the newborn squirming slightly in his arms, only to see her slowly open her eyes. As he thought about it, he realised Lucy was right. Again. Her name was almost the easiest part about it all. Compared to the mountains of paperwork he was sure he had to fill out, thinking of a name really was easy.
Plus, the entire 'becoming a father' thing. Bickslow was still sure that was probably going to be the hardest thing he's ever done, but he was still willing to do that. Because it was for his daughter.
"So how about I get her fed since she's probably getting a little hungry again by now, and you start by getting the rest of your details on her birth certificate?" Lucy said cheerily as she placed the book and page on the coffee table, only to stand once again before gently taking the newborn from Bickslow's arms.
As Lucy quickly went over to his kitchen, Bickslow shifted on the lounge to cross his legs under himself, and reached to pick up everything on the coffee table before balancing them on one leg. Everything on the birth certificate was filled out, except for the box with all of his details. His full name, date of birth, occupation, birth place; all of it was blank.
Turning the pen around in his hand, Bickslow quickly began to fill in the rest of the boxes, starting with his surname. As he finished writing his place of birth and began to tap the pen on the page, Lucy gently sat back down on the lounge next to him, carefully holding his daughter in one arm and the small bottle in her other hand.
"Can you um… Can you make sure it looks right?" he mumbled as he lifted the page up, turning it so she could look over it from where she sat. The last thing he needed was to screw up a document like that.
Lucy slowly read down the page, starting the blank boxes where his daughter's name would eventually go, her date and place of birth, going down to her mother's details, and then down to the information that Bickslow had completed. But then she stopped when she saw his last name. She didn't care about his birthday or his occupation or where he was born, because all she could focus on was his actual name, and her brow furrowed slightly before she glanced back up.
"Is that really your last name?" Lucy whispered, completely bewildered.
"Unfortunately," he sighed. He fought the urge to roll his eyes at her reaction, just like he did every time someone found out his heritage. There was a very good reason to him keeping his last name from people, as well as anything about his life really, and that was because of who his family was.
Her eyes were wide as she pieced together the information in her head. "As in… As in the Redf—"
"Like I said, unfortunately. A little surprising to say the least; I know."
Of course, there were always some people who didn't recognise his family name, and he was truly relieved when he came across those people. But unfortunately, there weren't that many of those kinds of people left, and Lucy Heartfilia was definitely not one of those people, and Bickslow knew exactly why.
It was because they came from similar backgrounds and the same kind of families. And of course, growing up in that kind of world, Bickslow had learned a few things about the families and businesses his own competed with. Unfortunately for Bickslow's, the Heartfilias had always been one of those competitors. Not that Bickslow himself cared, though. In fact, he just didn't care about that kind of life at all, and it was part of the reason he'd left it all behind him and made the relationship with his parents somewhat strained for the first couple of years.
It also didn't exactly help with things that Bickslow already got judged enough because of his magic. He didn't need people judging him because of the life he'd grown up with, especially when it had never been one he'd enjoyed. So he'd kept it all hidden, because people didn't need to know who he really was. He just wasn't that kind of person.
Besides, after all that had happened with Phantom Lord because of people finding out who Lucy really was, Bickslow knew that it definitely wasn't worth making his secret known to a few more people, even if the shock of it all would eventually blow over and things would go back to normal.
Lucy gasped when everything finally fell into place in her head, and all she could do was stare at the piece of paper before she began to laugh almost hysterically. She knew she shouldn't be laughing, but she really couldn't help find it all hilarious. It had been long enough that she could actually laugh about the life she'd had, and when everything to do with Bickslow had turned out to be a whole lot of coincidences, it really was hard not to laugh about it all.
Bickslow wasn't the only one who knew about the other families in the country and who hated who, meaning Lucy was also aware of their own family's almost hatred for each other. But, she also knew that the two had been in the process of working out a truce when she'd been a lot younger. Unfortunately, that just happened to involve an arranged marriage between herself and Bickslow's family's eldest son, and that just happened to be Bickslow himself. Apparently.
Of course, the entire thing had fallen apart when he'd supposedly decided to run off. She'd never actually met – or known the name of – the person she'd been supposed to marry, but then again, she'd been fourteen at the time and an actual wedding hadn't been supposed to happen until she was at least sixteen which was the legal age in their world. Their families were really just getting everything sorted out in advance, but when her future fiancé decides to run off and do god knows what, all of it gets called off.
Lucy had been glad, of course, and at the time, she'd hoped it would be the only time she'd have a marriage arranged for her. Their families, on the other hand… Well, they went back to hating each other, from what she could gather. Well, until the last of hers all died, leaving Bickslow's the only family left in that line of business.
But still, the fact that she'd been in the same guild for so long with someone she was supposed to have married, and was now helping him raise his daughter, was pretty damn entertaining.
Bickslow, on the other hand, had no idea what she was laughing about. At all. And he really just wanted to know what was so funny to have the blonde giggling like a school-girl. "Okay, please explain whatever it is you're laughing about…" he mumbled, only carefully trying to pull his daughter from her arms to continue feeding her himself.
Oh god! He doesn't know! Her laughter only got louder as she ended up falling to her side on the lounge with her hand clutching her stomach. Oh, it was all far too entertaining now. "It was… It was you," she choked out eventually. "You were the one who ran off."
"Like you can talk about running from your family," Bickslow scoffed. "I hear you did the exact same thing."
"B-But you ran… Because of a marriage."
He arched a brow and turned to look at her in shock then. "How the fuck do you know that?" No one knew that apart from his family. Not even his team knew just why he'd left.
Lucy managed to regain enough composure to sit up again, and her fingers brushed under her eyes as she did her best to calm herself down with a few deep breaths. "Because it was supposed to be to me," she choked out again.
"Huh? What? How?" It didn't really make sense to Bickslow. Sure, the final straw into him leaving had been because he didn't want to stick around and be forced into marrying someone he didn't know – let alone be forced into marrying someone at all. But it didn't make sense for that someone to have been Lucy.
Their families hated each other because they were the only two families in the same business. For them to even think about having their children wed, that would mean… Oh, hell no. It suddenly did make sense. Almost perfect sense, actually. They'd constantly been trying to buy-out each other anyway, so they'd be putting an end to it all if they were to actually join together and become one super-company and become all the more powerful and rich. And really, with their kinds of families, that's all it was about.
But really, all he'd known was that he was supposed to be getting married. He didn't care for knowing who it was and he'd never cared much about his family's business to pay much attention or ask about what went on.
As he tried to wrap his head around the fact that he could have married Lucy goddamn Heartfilia, he couldn't help but let his mind wander back to his daughter. The entire purpose of those kinds of marriages in their old world was to produce heirs and heiresses and continue the family bloodline… Which would mean, by that point, given that he knew they wouldn't have been married at all until she'd reached the legal age in Fiore (it was just something he assumed, given the fact it had really been because he hadn't wanted to wait around for something he didn't want), that there would have been a chance that his daughter would have been their daughter. Or their son, technically.
And that was definitely a weird thought. Just as weird to know that the woman he'd supposed to have married because of their stupid families had ended up in the same guild as he had. And, not to mention, slept with his daughter's mother's fiancé, and was now also helping him look after said daughter because he was convinced she was the perfect person to do so.
Suddenly, Bickslow could see why she was laughing so much, because it actually was pretty entertaining. Strange, but entertaining. It was really just a whole lot of weird coincidences.
And all he could say then was, "Huh." Nothing else seemed adequate, because it was really just a 'huh' kind of thing. It was almost funny how things seemed to work out.
So after they just sat there laughing about how their strangely connected their lives were, and Lucy had definitely calmed down some and was no longer crying from laughing so much, she quietly said, "What about Scarlett?" She didn't know where it had come from, but it had just been floating around in her head and she needed to get it out.
"Scarlett?" he repeated, an eyebrow raised as he turned back to Lucy and drew his gaze from his daughter.
She shrugged then. "Yeah. Scarlett. For a name," she explained, nodding down to the newborn. "I mean, I know it's kind of the double red thing with your last name, but… What do you think? It's your daughter after all."
He looked back down to her then, and his head tilted to the side as he pondered it. It bounced around his head, and as he quietly said her possible full name, he realised it seemed to roll off his tongue. "Scarlett…" he mumbled. Without a doubt, he definitely liked it, and as Bickslow looked down at her, he realised that it was the perfect name for her.
She was a Scarlett, and she was his Scarlett.
So, yeah. A lot happened. I absolutely love having different backstories for Bickslow between all of my stories (and like seriously, he has a lot of different ones at this point), and I couldn't help myself with this. Thought it would be fun to go down this route, and it was fun to write.
That, and Lucy's involvement is just... Yeah, I have no words. I'm just having fun now. This entire story is just going to be fun.
Anyway. Hope you enjoyed it!
Until next time.
- April