A/Ns: I wasn't planning on getting this updated again for a few more months, to be perfectly honest. I love writing this story, I really do, but it's not exactly a priority for me at the moment given how many other projects I have. Despite that, I need a break from writing my BixCo Week stories, and this is what I ended up working on. It was surprisingly easy to write for the most part, so I hope you manage to make it through to the end where more slightly important notes will be.
When Lucy had been drinking, she was known for doing some pretty stupid things. It was part of the reason she didn't drink so much – that, and she just didn't really like it. But she was a lightweight, so it didn't take Lucy very much for all of her inhibitions and morals to fly right out the window.
But, that particular night, it was her lack of sobriety that had Lucy standing in a tattoo parlour with the Strauss siblings (well, Mira and Lisanna, at least) and Cana. It was somewhere around 3 a.m. the last time Lucy had seen the time, and at that hour, practically nothing was open in Magnolia. It was a little disappointing, really, especially considering how hungry Lucy was – so hungry that she'd almost been tempted to go and wake Bickslow up just to get him to cook her a burger or something.
Still, being drunk and hungry was how Lucy had ended up staring at possible tattoo designs. Cana had only told her to get a tattoo of a burger, she seemed to love them so much, and… Well, Lucy wouldn't deny that she loved burgers – they were her greasy, juicy comfort food – but she didn't love them so much that she was going to get one immortalised forever somewhere on her body.
She wanted something immortalised forever on her body, but… Definitely not a burger. And at that point though, Lucy had already decided that she was definitely going to be getting some kind of tattoo that night; there was no better time, as far as she was concerned. She'd been thinking about getting one for a while anyway. Just something small and simple. It had to be meaningful, too, because it was going to be on her forever and she didn't want to regret it.
"What about this one, Lu?" Cana asked, pointing to a star design on one wall.
Lucy left the portfolio she was flicking through to stand next to Cana. "I don't know…" she mumbled. "I don't really want to get anything like that."
"Why not get a key?" Lisanna suggested, with Mira nodding her head sleepily on her shoulder.
Lucy shook her head. "But everyone would expect me to get something like that." And it wasn't like there was anything wrong with getting something that others would expect her to get, but she just didn't want to do that.
She only went back to the counter where the portfolio was still open and started flicking through it again. Some of the pieces in there were beautiful, Lucy had to admit that much. Even the naked witch was exquisitely done. The tattoo artist sure had talent. Still, Lucy just didn't quite know what she wanted to get done, and while she looked at all the detailed, intricate pieces on the glossy pages, she only hoped that she'd come across something that would give her a little bit of inspiration.
But it was on the next page that Lucy found her inspiration, and she looked up from the cartoon Alice portrait in the ornate golden picture frame just as the tattoo artist returned from the back room with a fresh cup of coffee. "So have you decided what you want yet?" he asked tiredly, setting his mug down to wipe his glasses on the bottom of his shirt. "Otherwise I'm gonna close up and you can come back another day."
"Nope, I've decided," Lucy answered as she slammed the portfolio shut. She knew exactly what she was going to get, and she knew exactly where she wanted it.
Laxus walked into the guild that afternoon looking for Bickslow of all people. He'd stopped by his house before to go and see him just to find it empty, and since he knew full well that Bickslow wasn't taking any jobs those days, Laxus had only assumed that Bickslow would either be in the guild for a change, or actually out doing some shopping or errands or something boring like that.
He'd figured the former was more likely though, and much to Laxus' delight, the guild was in fact where he found Bickslow. He spotted him sitting with Freed and Evergreen on the far side of the guild, and so that was where Laxus headed. Bickslow fell uncomfortably silent when he spotted Laxus though, and while Freed and Evergreen didn't quite understand it, Laxus didn't blame Bickslow for falling silent. But, Laxus wasn't there to talk to Freed or Evergreen, so as he sat down on the bench opposite Bickslow, he quickly said, "You two. Go away. I need to talk to Bix."
Bickslow nodded to Evergreen when she gave him a questioning look – she at least had a suspicion of what the problem was about, or who it was about more accurately. "Can you watch her for a bit?" Bickslow asked quietly when Evergreen went to gently hand Scarlett back to him. "Take her to see Mira or something."
Evergreen silently obliged, and pulling Scarlett back in against her chest, she followed Freed through the busy guild and over to the bar on the opposite side of the room.
Considering the last time Bickslow had seen Laxus was when he'd found out he was sleeping with Lucy, Bickslow really wasn't that comfortable with Laxus being there in front of him at that moment. The guy pretty much hated him, Bickslow knew that, and while he almost wished that Laxus hadn't been such a dick about it all, he'd always known that things would end up that way. And it was Bickslow's own fault.
That was what he got for fucking someone he shouldn't have.
Still, as little as Bickslow actually wanted to be anywhere near Laxus right then, he was damn curious as to why he was sitting in front of him. As far as Bickslow knew, Laxus wanted fuck all to do with him. Yet here he was, sitting in front of him, and saying he needed to talk to him.
Laxus was the first to actually speak though. He really, really wished he wasn't having to be there at all right then, but he knew he needed to be. He'd said and done a lot of shitty things over the past week, and he wasn't proud of that. "Look, Bix… You know I hate doing stuff like this… Apologising and all that shit…" he finally began softly, looking down at the grain pattern of the table. "But what I said before. At your house. I was out of line. I know that."
Bickslow merely raised an eyebrow at the man.
He'd had time to think over the last week. And while, sure, he was still pissed as all hell at Bickslow for doing what he'd done, and then going so far to hide it from him, Laxus knew that his reaction had been way out of line. He knew he'd had no reason to act the way he had. Lucy wasn't his, and even if she had been, that wouldn't have given him the right to act like he fucking owned her. She was a human being, not someone's property.
And even then, he'd been acting like Bickslow was the only person who'd been involved, when that had been wrong. He wouldn't have been sleeping with Lucy at all if it hadn't been what Lucy herself wanted. Whatever the fuck it was they were, or were doing, it hadn't been just Bickslow's doing. Yet that was basically how Laxus had been treating it.
All three of them were adults, but Laxus knew that when he'd been yelling at Bickslow like that, that he'd been acting like a child. And that… Laxus really hated.
He shook his head slightly before continuing, "I was acting like some jealous prick, and I shouldn't have, so I'm sorry for that." That was basically what it had come down to, and admitting that to himself hadn't been a proud moment. "It's got fuck all to do with me who you decide to sleep with. Just like it's got fuck all to do with you who I sleep with. And… And you don't gotta tell me shit if you really don't want to, because you're right – it's none of my business most of the time. Or, any of the time, really. So, I'm sorry for all that shit I said. I was wrong, and you were right."
I was wrong, and you were right. Bickslow could count on one hand the number of times he'd heard Laxus say that, and the answer was once. From just then. Apologising had never been Laxus' forte, and everyone knew that – the Raijinshuu especially. But when Laxus did apologise, and when he straight up said the words 'I'm sorry,' they all knew that it was because he felt absolutely godawful about something he'd done. And that was a rare occurrence for Laxus. He rarely felt regret for anything, much less actually showed it.
But on the rare occasion that Laxus did apologise for something… It was usually a big thing for him. And right then, hearing Laxus apologise for all the shit that had gone down from him finding out about Lucy, Bickslow really did know how huge that was for Laxus. He wouldn't have been there at all, bothering to say any of that unless he really did mean it, and Bickslow was more than thankful for it.
He knew he'd said some shitty things too, but he was stubborn as all hell, and he also didn't think he'd needed to apologise for anything he'd said. As far as Bickslow was concerned, all he'd done was defend himself. And he'd tried to defend Lucy as well, but… Well, Bickslow knew that it hadn't quite come out that way.
Still, Laxus had apologised. And that was a big fucking deal.
But… Bickslow was still Bickslow, and he couldn't quite help himself when he turned in his seat slightly and cupped his hand around his ear, leaning over the table as he said, "I'm sorry, I couldn't quite hear you… Was that an apology?"
"I really fucking hate you sometimes," Laxus mumbled.
Bickslow grinned. "I know you do," he said before adding softly, "But… Thank you. I, uh… I appreciate it."
Laxus shrugged a shoulder. "Kinda wish you'd at least told me before I had to fucking walk in on you two," he mumbled. "But whatever."
"Yeah, well, I knew you were going to be a dick either way. And it's not like there was anything to have told you anyway."
"Well, you could've started with that you were fucking her."
…And, well… Laxus had a point there. But still, there was no way Bickslow would've actually just gone up to his best friend and said, 'Oh yeah, by the way, I'm sleeping with your ex-girlfriend. I thought I'd let you know.' He would've gotten his ass handed to him if he'd done that. And now that Bickslow thought about it, he was actually kind of glad things had happened the way they had. It could've gone a whole lot worse, and Bickslow knew full well that Lucy having been there at the time was part of the reason that it hadn't been a complete disaster.
"So uh… Are you two actually like, dating or something now?" Laxus asked. He'd asked it before, but, well… Now that he'd apologised, he figured he was more likely to get an actual answer.
"Ah, no. Dating would imply that there are actual dates, and… No."
"So, you're just like fuck buddies then?"
"…No."
"Then what the fuck is going on with you two?"
Bickslow shrugged. "I wouldn't have a damn clue." Or, well, it was a lie. Sort of. He had his suspicions about the entire thing and why things were the way they were, but for the most part, he really didn't know anything.
He didn't know what they were (not really), or what they were doing, or just what Lucy was hoping to get from him. He didn't know if it was just some fun or some stupid little fling (god, he really hoped not), or if whatever it was they had was something that could actually work. And he certainly didn't know just what the fuck Lucy's whole kiss-and-run thing had been about. He'd liked it, he really had. It had just thrown him for a fucking loop, and considering that was the last time Bickslow had seen her, he just had so many damn questions.
But, still, he didn't know how to answer Laxus' questions. Because he didn't think they were dating, but he also knew they weren't just fuck buddies. They were something more than that. Bickslow just didn't know what exactly. Not completely, at least.
Laxus ran his hand down his face. He almost couldn't tell if Bickslow was actually just giving him stupid answers like that to fuck with him, or if it was because he just genuinely didn't know. Both were possible, as far as Laxus knew. But, since his first questions weren't getting him anywhere, he tried a different approach. "But you… You know, like her, right?" That was what he probably should've asked first, Laxus realised, because if he didn't like her, then he would've been no point in asking what they were.
And as far as liking her went… Well, Bickslow couldn't even deny that anymore. Because he liked her. He really fucking did. And that actually kind of scared him, especially when he thought about just why it was he probably felt the way he did in the first place.
Still… Bickslow wasn't too sure that admitting that, yes, he did really fucking like the one woman he shouldn't, was actually a good thing. Not when Laxus had just openly admitted that he was jealous. That was basically the last thing Bickslow had wanted to be hearing.
But even while a part of Bickslow really wanted to know just why the fuck Laxus was suddenly jealous, the rest of him was just telling himself to just straight up ignore it. Was Laxus just going to tell him that he missed Lucy? That he regretted being such a dick to her when they'd been together? Because honestly, Bickslow just didn't care. If that was the case, he'd probably just end up telling Laxus to go to hell. He'd backed off once before for Laxus' benefit, and he sure as hell wasn't going to do it again.
He wasn't looking for anyone's approval, and he certainly wasn't caring about keeping the precious Laxus happy, either. His stupid jealousy be damned. "You know what? I do like her," Bickslow finally admitted. And to be honest, it felt just a little relieving to actually admit that to someone, even if that person happened to be a Grade A dick who usually went by the name of his best friend. "You got a problem with that?"
Laxus shrugged. Did he have a problem with it? Kind of. But he knew he couldn't do anything about it. He'd fucked things up with Lucy, and while part of him really did wish that things had worked out just a little better, or perhaps for just a little longer, he also knew that things hadn't worked out for a very good reason. Him and Lucy, they just… They had nothing in common whatsoever. And Laxus wished that they had just a few things in common. But even if they had, it still didn't change the fact that Lucy had made it more than clear that she didn't feel the same way. Laxus had realised that all too quickly when he'd woken up on Sunday morning with the memory of his stupidity the previous night.
But Lucy having well and truly moved on was reason enough for Laxus to know that he couldn't do anything. And that was fine. In truth, he wasn't entirely sure what he wanted anyway. Part of him wanted things to work with Lucy, but part of him knew it was stupid and was glad they'd been able to stay reasonably close. Part of him had wanted things with Cana to work out, too, but he was also beginning to really see why she'd called things off. What they'd been doing had really just been the same as what he'd been doing with Lucy. And, well… That had gotten him nowhere.
Still, he just couldn't do anything, other than try and figure things out for himself, and decide what it was he actually wanted. If Bickslow had a thing for Lucy, well… So be it. That just really wasn't Laxus' concern anymore and he knew it.
"I mean, I think it's weird as hell," Laxus said. "But, whatever, man. I can't stop you from liking someone. It doesn't really matter what I think though, because it's got nothing to do with me." He shrugged then. "Just… You do you, Bix."
And that… Well, that definitely wasn't what Bickslow had been expecting to hear. But he realised that it was as close to a blessing that he was ever going to get from the man. And that was a really great thing in a way, because as little as Bickslow actually cared about Laxus' feelings right then, at least as far as the ones for Lucy went, Bickslow knew he still would've felt just a little guilty for deciding to pursue whatever the fuck it was he had with Lucy, if it meant Laxus was going to resent him for it.
And, maybe, Laxus still would resent him just a little bit if he really did pursue some kind of weird, actual relationship with Lucy – which, really was sounding more and more appealing each day – but at the end of the day, Bickslow knew that Laxus wouldn't try to get involved and possibly ruin anything. He would, for once, actually do the adult thing and just back the fuck off. And that made Bickslow really happy.
"Well, you know, thank you," Bickslow said. He meant that, too, in a weird way. Thanks for letting me actually like someone without feeling like a dick for it? Yeah, that works. Still, Bickslow got the impression that Laxus cared more than he was willing to admit. He just wasn't going to let it bother him.
They both sat awkwardly in silence after that. Bickslow didn't really know what to say, and Laxus just didn't really know whether to leave or try and make conversation – although the latter had never been his strong point and everyone knew it. Still, he was making an effort those days (or that week), so Laxus did his best to seem interested in the other huge thing in his friend's life.
"So… How's the illegitimate spawn?"
Bickslow's birthday fell on December 9th. That year, he was turning twenty-four, and while he'd never really expected to be a single father to the cutest baby on the planet at that age, he didn't really mind. He was happy with his life at that point, happier than he'd honestly thought he'd ever be, and even if the last few months had been one hell of a wild ride, he just wouldn't give up any of it.
That year, Bickslow had mostly spent his day with his team, and surprisingly, Laxus. And for once, there had been zero alcohol involved. His day had been boring for the most part, not that he'd really minded, but he'd definitely gotten a kick out of seeing how fucking uncomfortable Laxus had been when he'd been holding Scarlett for all of two minutes. Seriously, Bickslow almost wanted to get a picture of the scowl he'd had on his face just to immortalise it forever.
But Lucy, on the other hand, had spent her day on a train, stuck listening to her team bicker about who got to choose the next job. Really, she couldn't have cared less at that point. She'd just wanted to go home and have a warm bath.
But it was when she'd gotten home in the middle of the afternoon, and had closed and locked her door behind her and already started getting undressed, starting with her boots, that Lucy remembered that it was Bickslow's birthday. And it wasn't like she'd forgotten that it had been coming up, because she'd been stuck thinking about just what it was she was going to get him practically every day over the last week. It was just that it had come up so quickly, and Lucy had still yet to get him a present of some sort.
She'd just had absolutely no ideas for a gift.
But… Then Lucy remembered Bickslow saying he'd wanted her for his birthday. And, well… While Lucy still thought that she didn't really count as a present, she'd just had nothing else to give him, so she'd ended up just going with it. And by the time she'd spent an entire hour in her bathroom contorting herself into some more than unusual positions with her favourite wild berry shave gel and a new razor, Lucy had definitely asked herself more than once just what the fuck she was doing.
The answer was apparently turning herself into an actual present for the man.
Still, even while she'd been questioning just why she was putting so much effort into the entire thing, Lucy had still been pretty excited to go and see Bickslow again. And it wasn't really because she'd get to have sex with him (which, really, was pretty great). It was really just about how she'd be able to be around him, because honestly, she'd just missed him.
She still felt that dull ache in her chest every now and then, the one that just got worse the farther away she was from Magnolia and the longer she was away from Bickslow. It was nowhere near as bad as it had been before, but it was still almost always there. The only time it wasn't was when she was with him, and for the most part, Lucy just didn't even care to find out just what it was that made her feel that way. She enjoyed spending time with him, and that was what mattered to her.
But, despite being excited to go and spend time with Bickslow again, by the time she was walking up the path to his house just a little after the sun had set, Lucy was still feeling like a damn fool. Bickslow was no doubt going to laugh at her, but really, that was okay.
She let herself into Bickslow's house as she usually did, pushing the door open and walking in silently to close and lock it behind herself. Bickslow merely looked up from where he sat on the lounge, legs cross under him with a book open in his hands, and he continued to watch Lucy as she only walked straight past the lounge, then the table, and then into the hall.
He'd been wondering if he'd see Lucy that day, but by the time the day had ended and the sun had gone down, he'd just assumed that it would just be yet another day where he didn't get to see her. So really, seeing her right then was just more confusing than anything, and all he could really do was sit there and wonder just what the fuck Lucy was doing.
But then, when Lucy realised that Bickslow hadn't followed her like she'd half expected him to do, she rolled her eyes and quickly walked back down the wooden hall to stick her head around the wall and wave Bickslow over. "Well, come on, then."
That just confused him even more, but he was still curious, so as he heard her disappear back down the hall again, Bickslow quickly marked the page of his book and got up to follow her.
She stood by the side of the bed with her hands in the pockets of her trench coat. Bickslow couldn't help but look her up and down quickly, and noticing the bright pink stilettos she was also wearing, he tilted his head slight and asked, "Going out somewhere?" He knew that she didn't just wear those kinds of shoes just for the sake of it.
Lucy only shook her head. "Nope. Not going anywhere." Especially not while she was wearing what she had on under her coat. She would rather die a painful death than actually go out in public again with that. It had been bad enough she'd had to walk all the way there like that.
"Oh? Then what's with the get-up?"
"Do you promise not to laugh at me?"
"…That depends on what your answer is." He couldn't guarantee anything. He never could.
Lucy let out a sigh then, and then lifted her hands from her pockets to begin untying the belt of her coat. She knew Bickslow was going to laugh at least a little bit… And, well… That was fine. She knew how ridiculous she looked.
The moment she had her coat off and revealed what she had on underneath, she felt her cheeks grow warm. "You said you wanted me for your birthday, not that I really know why, so… Here you go," she mumbled, holding her arms out before dropping them to her sides.
Bickslow had never seen anything so brilliant. He definitely couldn't keep the grin off his face as he moved just to slowly walk in a circle around Lucy. Admittedly, when he'd joked about wanting her for his birthday, he had imagined her all dressed up in some kind of ribbon, but he'd never actually expected it to happen. But there she was, standing in the middle of his bedroom, all wrapped up in the biggest ribbon he'd ever seen (or maybe it was just a long stretch of fabric cut into a wide strip, he didn't know), complete with a big, pretty bow tying it all together and keeping it on herself over her breasts.
How Lucy had actually managed to wrap herself up in the ribbon so tightly that it resembled a short, strapless dress, he had no idea.
"You know, I wasn't actually being completely serious when I said that…"
"I know you weren't, but… I couldn't think of anything to get you for your birthday, and I didn't really know what else to do."
"Cosplayer, you didn't even need to get me anything anyway." He wasn't all that fond of birthdays for the most part. They'd become just a normal day sometime around his fifteenth birthday.
"I wanted to, though. So I just…"
"So you decided to wrap yourself up and become a present," Bickslow surmised, and Lucy shrugged. Honestly, Bickslow didn't even have any problems with that. How could he? Still, he really would've been fine with Lucy showing up in sweatpants. It would've been a lie if he said he hadn't missed her almost constantly over the last week, so her being there at all right then was enough of a present for him. He just liked Lucy being there, whether they did anything or not.
"Basically, yeah."
Of course though, even if he didn't mind what they did when Lucy was there, he certainly wasn't going to waste the opportunity she was giving him that night. Oh no. He would enjoy his birthday present dearly that year. "So uh…" He came to stand in front of her again and tugged gently on one end of the bow, just enough to pull it slightly but not undo it. "Am I allowed to unwrap my present now?"
Lucy shrugged. "You can do whatever you want." That being said, she still would love to get the damn thing off her. It wasn't comfortable in the slightest.
"Whatever I want? That sounds promising."
"Well… Within reason, of course," Lucy mumbled. "You know… Like… Like nothing weird."
"Baby, you're gonna have to be a little more specific," Bickslow chuckled. Weird was subjective, after all.
Lucy looked away when she felt the heat return to her cheeks. "Just… Never mind." She really didn't want to be specific. And even then, she really only had a few things she was completely against – one was surely obvious. And the other… Well, Bickslow already knew that she wasn't a fan of being certain ways, so she didn't think she had to mention it again anyway.
"If you say so," Bickslow said with a shrug. And then, since Lucy had already said that he could do whatever he wanted (oh, he really liked that), Bickslow finally pulled on the ribbon bow enough to undo it and began to unwrap her. He found it quite amusing having to walk around her in circles just to get the damn thing off, and if he hadn't already been enjoying the whole thing, he definitely would've been by the time half of the ribbon was bundled up over his arm, because there'd been nothing on at all under it and Bickslow definitely got a kick out of knowing that Lucy had basically walked all the way to his house half naked.
By the time he had it down to her waist, Bickslow only dropped the rest of it on the ground at Lucy's feet. He figured it would be loose enough to just unravel on its own and fall the rest of the way down her legs, but he looped his hands into the silky fabric to loosen it anyway, and then watched in entertainment as the last of it finally fell away, and Lucy was left standing completely naked, except for her heels, in the middle of his bedroom.
His birthday really was turning out to be great.
But then he saw the pink and purple image on her left hip, and he crouched down slightly just to look at it for a moment before he looked back up to Lucy and asked, "Did you get a fucking tattoo?"
Lucy shrugged. She really wished Bickslow would just hurry up and do something – or tell her to do something. She was feeling more ridiculous now that she wasn't actually in her makeshift dress. Still, she'd expected it ask about her tattoo at some point once he'd seen it. "Yes," she answered.
"When the fuck did that happen?"
"On the weekend." It had really only been four days since then, but it was just beginning to scab a little bit and Lucy was doing everything she could to not pick at it. It didn't help that it itched like crazy though, especially whenever her clothes, or even just her underwear rubbed against it.
"Huh." Bickslow stood back up and stepped into the pile of ribbon in front of him, closing the last of the distance between himself and Lucy and then gently running his hands down over her arms before dipping to her waist, past her tattoo, and then down to the backs of her thighs to carefully lift her up and move to sit her down on the edge of his bed. "Well… I like it," he said, pressing just a gentle kiss to her lips before pulling back.
Lucy rolled her eyes. "Probably just because it says 'eat me', right?"
"…Well, yes, there's that." He couldn't deny that it was part of why he liked it. Because, well… What wasn't there to like about a girl who had a tattoo of a tiny cake that had 'eat me' written on a scroll around it? She also had a decorative bottle behind it with 'drink me' on a similar scroll, but that wasn't the point either. Still, Bickslow liked it because he thought it was cute. His tattoos weren't cute, and for the most part, he hated the ones he had. The only one he didn't wish he hadn't gotten was the one on his arm. Granted, it was also the only one he hadn't gotten as a dare or when he'd been drunk (or high). "But it's cute, too. I like it."
Lucy had to agree it was a cute. That was why she'd gotten it anyway. It hadn't ended up being anything close to meaningful, but that was okay. She was happy with the way it had turned out.
Besides, she'd had Bickslow's stupid 'blow me' tattoo stuck in her head the entire time anyway. Every time she thought of tattoos after first seeing it, she'd only thought of that. So really, it was basically Bickslow's fault that she'd gotten a slightly suggestive tattoo. Lucy wasn't actually going to say that, though, just like she hadn't explained it to Cana or the Strauss sisters when she'd been getting it done.
"Well, I'm glad you like it," she said drily. "Now are you going to do anything other than just kiss me? Because if not, I'm going to put some clothes on."
Bickslow let out a sigh and shook his head. "And here I was thinking you liked me kissing you," he pouted.
"I do! I do like it! I just mean… Well…" When she noticed his pout turn into another one of his mischievous grins, she only scowled and reached up to nudge his shoulder. "You're absolutely horrible sometimes," Lucy muttered.
"True, but you love it anyway so it's fine."
It was debatable, but really, Lucy wasn't exactly interested in arguing with the man. So when Bickslow leant back down to capture her lips with his own, Lucy only lifted her legs slightly to wrap them around his waist, clumsily managing to kick off her shoes as she slowly leant back to rest against the mattress.
She'd come to realise that the first moments were always the best. The very first ones that came after being apart from Bickslow for even just a short while. They were always just so… relaxing. And any concerns she did have, or might've had about him, and whether or not that she was actually stupid for wanting to spend so much time with him like that... They always disappeared instantly.
She really wasn't that sure how he'd done it, but he'd made her love it there. And she was happy there. And as much as she really did love how great the sex with him was, most of the time, she was just quite happy sitting and doing nothing with him. Even right then, there was a tiny voice in the back of her head that was saying she should just tell Bickslow that she really wasn't that interested in actually doing anything that night (which wasn't even that far from the truth since she was still tired from her job), and ask if they could just watch a movie or play with Scarlett or something. She liked just doing that.
But then the hand that had been slowly travelling back down her side dipped between their bodies and soft fingers brushed against her slit, and just like that, the little voice was gone. "Now we're getting somewhere…" Lucy hummed against Bickslow's mouth, letting out a quiet moan when his fingers circled her clit before sliding back down to tease her some more. She'd been aroused beforehand, but now that he was actually touching her, it only grew.
Bickslow could only roll his eyes before he pulled his mouth away from hers finally and he slid down to kneel on the floor. Lucy laid spread out before him, and he turned his head slightly just to press his lips to the inside of her thigh and kiss inwards towards where he kept slowly running his fingers along her folds, just barely teasing her clit or her entrance. She whimpered softly, and he could feel the muscles in her legs tensing every so often where he'd rested them over his shoulders.
She let out a surprised gasp when Bickslow finally put his mouth where she'd wanted it, and she had to remind herself not to reach for his head and press his mouth against her even more – he was ridiculously against anyone holding his head or his hair, supposedly after someone had somehow ripped out an entire section of his hair once. Instead, she only gripped the quilt that she laid on and did her best to keep her hips on the edge of the bed, too.
He kept her close to writhing with his finger moving in and out of her core and his mouth on the sensitive pearl, the tip of his tongue flicking out against it when he wasn't making a point of flattening the muscle against her and using the bar of metal in it to the best of his ability. That was the part that always had her making some kind of noise, whether it be a moan from deep in her throat or a gasp that she covered with her hand over her mouth.
That was the part Bickslow liked best though – that she only made any kind of sound if she really couldn't help it. It sounded better that way. She could be so quiet sometimes, save from her breathing, and it was refreshing, in a sense. He'd been with the kind of people who were the opposite, though. The ones who were vocal and made a point of crying out every second. And while some were just genuinely vocal and couldn't help but make how much they enjoyed whatever he was doing be heard, there were others who just did it for show, because they thought it sounded sexy or something like that. And to Bickslow, it just didn't. Especially not when he'd stopped being able to tell who was loud because they genuinely felt good, or those who were that way just because they thought it would make him feel better for some stupid reason. Feeling wasn't really enough to tell, and while he'd never particularly cared about hook-ups being one-sided, it had still gotten frustrating.
But when Lucy made any sound, whether it be some kind of whimper or desperate cry when he was pissing her off for going overboard with how much he toyed with her – each one was because she did genuinely enjoy it all. And it wasn't like he'd ever doubted it, because he knew that Lucy wouldn't have even bothered sleeping with him more than once if she hadn't.
Besides, he could always tell what Lucy enjoyed the most when she wasn't trying to make a point of making as much noise as possible and sounding like a damn pornstar. He knew what she liked and what she didn't like that much. And as far as the former went, Bickslow knew exactly what to expect when he pulled the digit from her core and replaced it with his tongue.
Her thighs squeezed around his head and her hips rose off the bed to try and force the lithe muscle deeper into her while she cried out with a guttural moan, "Yes… F-Fuck, that's it."
Like Bickslow didn't already know that it was what Lucy had been wanting. Still, he couldn't help but find hearing her swear just a little amusing. Such filthy words from a pretty mouth sometimes. Well, they were filthy by Lucy's standards at least.
The purple tattoo on her hip caught Bickslow's attention again though. He was just a little curious about it, mostly because he'd never actually expected Lucy to get a tattoo at all, much less one that was just a little suggestive in its nature – although there was a good chance that the suggestiveness of it was really just to do with how dirty his mind was most of the time. Still, he was curious.
So he lifted his head, much to Lucy's disappointment when she quickly sat up on her elbows and made to complain, but didn't when Bickslow eased his fingers back into her core again and twisted his hand to push deeper into her. She only let out a contented moan and fell back down onto the mattress, her feet slipping down Bickslow's back when the digits curled and pressed against a sweeter spot.
Bickslow shifted on his knees to sit up higher, just so he could look at the new artwork on Lucy's hip. He thought it kind of suited her, with the pink cupcake and the fancy blue icing, and the decorative vial with the bright purple liquid. It was cutesy. And it was girly and it was just so very Lucy. As suggestive as the 'eat me' was though, Bickslow suspected that it was really in reference to something else.
"It's Alice in Wonderland, right?"
Lucy looked up again. "Hmm?"
"Your tattoo," Bickslow murmured. "It's Alice and Wonderland themed, isn't it?"
"Oh." Lucy couldn't help but laugh a little nervously. She hadn't really expected Bickslow to notice that. "Uh… Yeah. It… It is."
He remembered Lucy watching it when they'd both been sick, and how she'd later said that it was just her favourite movie, but Bickslow hadn't thought she loved it so much that she'd get a tattoo of it. "Why do you love it so much anyway?" he asked.
Is he really asking me this now? Lucy almost couldn't believe it. But there Bickslow was, fingering her still and asking her about her love for an animated movie. Bickslow just never ceased to amaze her.
Still, it was a question she could easily answer, despite the distraction between her legs. "I grew up watching it," Lucy finally answered, pausing for a moment to regain her senses when Bickslow thrust his fingers inside her harder and brought his mouth back down to suck harshly on the sensitive flesh. "God fucking damn it, Bix," she moaned, a shiver running through her when she felt the vibrations from his wicked laugh. "At least let me—Oh, oh god…"
He lifted his head again. "You were saying?"
She wanted to curse him right then, but she wouldn't. Instead, she managed to get a breath in and tried to focus on stringing another sentence together. The growing tension in the pit of her stomach made it increasingly difficult, though. "I watched it when… When Dad was busy," Lucy continued. "Which, was always, of course. And I just—mm, yes—kept watching it when I had nothing else to do. And because I was always wishing that I could do everything Alice did."
Bickslow had to admit that it made sense. Well, sort of. He could see why she'd have latched onto the idea of being Alice, though. He knew enough about her childhood from what he'd heard in the guild over the years to know that she probably would've loved to have fallen down some rabbit hole just to escape the world she'd been in.
But then Lucy spoke again, surprising Bickslow for a moment when she said, "You know, I… I decided ages ago, that if I were to ever have a daughter – well, before I found out I couldn't and all – that I'd call her Alice." She'd always thought it to be such a nice name. "Or… Or maybe Ruby. I like Ruby too."
"What's with you and red names?"
She gave a small shrug. Lucy didn't really think she had a thing for red names… But, well… Between suggesting Scarlett and now saying she probably would've called her daughter Ruby, she could see why Bickslow would ask that. "I just think they're pretty."
"Uh-huh… Sure…" Bickslow mumbled. He had to agree that they were pretty, though. But for the most part, he just thought it was a weird conversation to actually be having right then.
"Ruby Alice though…" Lucy murmured then, mostly to herself, biting her lip when Bickslow added a third finger to her core, feeling a renewed warmth on her cheeks from the wet sound of him slamming his fingers into her repeatedly. She always hated that sound. "Or m-maybe… Maybe Alice Ruby. No, I think Alice works better as a middle name with Ruby…"
Bickslow only arched an eyebrow as he peeked up from between her legs. He'd never really thought Lucy could ramble like that when she was being brought to orgasm – and definitely not ramble about baby names for a baby that would probably never exist – but then again, they had only been together a few times. Still, it was fucking weird, but it was also making him strangely curious to see what else she'd say, so Bickslow didn't even try stopping her.
"Ruby Alice sounds better," he offered indifferently. He wasn't particularly into the whole middle name thing, which is why he'd never bothered giving Scarlett one, but Ruby Alice was definitely better than the other way.
"Mm, it does, doesn't it?" she hummed. "Ruby Alice… Ruby Alice Heartfilia-Redf—oh, oh god, B-Bickslow!" She hadn't thought she'd been that close, but between the smooth metal of the piercing flicking against her clit again and the fingers pressing against sensitive places deep inside her, she'd stood no chance of lasting much longer. She bit back a scream as she bucked her hips against the fingers still pressing inside her, and a shudder ran through her as she reached the peak of her rapture.
Bickslow's brow furrowed as he slowly drew his fingers from her cunt, slowly smoothing his other hand up and down her thigh. He'd never expected Lucy's rambling to go there. He stood up from where he knelt on the ground, his joints rejoicing as he made a mental note to buy a rug to put under the bed if he was going to be doing that again, and peered down at Lucy still lying in front of him, panting as she came down slowly and with her face an unflattering shade of red.
"Ruby Alice Heartfilia-Redfarrow, huh?"
Lucy turned her face away as she drew her legs back together to move. "S-Shut up…" she mumbled. She hadn't exactly meant to go there, but the words had just kept flying out of her mouth. She scowled when she heard Bickslow snicker at it, mocking her, and she said, "It's your fault it's in my head anyway."
"Why is it my fault?" he asked, pulling his shirt and jumper off over his head and dropping them onto the floor at his feet before he went for his sweatpants.
"Because… Because you're the one that kept going on about all of it! Y-You know, the names and all that!" Yes, it was definitely Bickslow's fault that she couldn't seem to get the fact that she could've been married to him for over a decade at that point out of her head. It was all Bickslow's fault. Totally.
He rolled his eyes and nudged Lucy's foot before she crawled forward, settling herself on her front in the middle of the bed with her head on a pillow. "Yeah, because you naming our seemingly hypothetical and non-existent daughter is totally all my fault." Although admittedly, he did kind of like it… Just in a really weird, fucked up way. He was sure he'd be thinking about it at some point in the next week or so, too.
Lucy's scowl returned, but decided to let Bickslow have that one. She only watched as he reached into one of the drawers for a condom (which made Lucy glad she wasn't having to remind him again), and stroked himself a few times before rolling the rubber onto his cock and then joining her on the bed. He grabbed her hips to pull her up once he was settled behind her, and Lucy let out a little moan when she felt him rub against her slit. Thankfully, Bickslow wasn't interested in messing with her more than he already had that night, and he reached down to line himself up at her entrance before pushing in slowly.
He started off slow, her walls still stretching around him, before he sped up and drove his hips into her, the sound of skin slapping against skin heavy in the room. "God, your pussy is amazing," Bickslow groaned, staring down at where his cock disappeared into her tight centre.
Lucy moaned into the pillow, pushing her hips back against him despite her embarrassment over his words. "Don't say that…"
He couldn't help but smirk slightly to himself. And there's her innocence again. That was what he enjoyed seeing occasionally. Just the glimmer of how pure she really was deep down.
He continued to thrust into her roughly, holding her hip for leverage with one hand while his other hand ran down her spine to the middle of her back before pulling back and gripping her ass and digging his fingers in, momentarily leaving marks where his fingers had been. She kept her face buried in the pillow for the most part, her arms outstretched with her fingers just barely touching the headboard, but Bickslow could just make out the quiet moans and mewls she bit back. He even heard the odd curse, which only excited him further.
Lucy knew she wouldn't last as long as Bickslow would, though, and she pushed her hips back into him in time with his thrusts just to get herself to her own peak of bliss even faster. "F-Faster," she begged, and she didn't bother holding back her whimper when he started slamming into her harder than before.
Bickslow felt her tighten around his shaft, and he only slowed for a moment when she let out a strangled scream into the pillow and a curse of his name. He was chasing his own much needed release then, and with the way her pussy was gripping his cock, he knew he wouldn't be far behind.
But then, a cry that definitely wasn't Lucy's, and much more distressing, slowly came to Bickslow's ears. And Bickslow looked back to the open door just behind him as he stopped his movements.
There was no doubting it. Scarlett was up.
Bickslow groaned, only out of frustration as he debated his options. Either he try and cum as quickly as he could, or he just give up and go deal with his daughter. But, it was an easy decision, because honestly, Scarlett was more important.
"Fucking hell…" he sighed as he finally withdrew from Lucy, and climbed back off the bed. He swore he heard Lucy snicker from behind him as he pulled the rubber off and found clothes again.
First it was Laxus all but walking in on them though, and now it was his kid waking up and probably wanting to be fed – although honestly, Bickslow had been expecting it, especially since he'd only been able to get her down for a quick nap not long before Lucy had arrived, and it had been when he usually fed her. But really, Bickslow was honestly beginning to think that he wasn't ever going to get laid again. Or at least, he wasn't going to be cumming again anytime soon, not unless it was in the shower or just to his hand.
So, Bickslow went upstairs to tend to his horrible spawn, all while mentally cursing and wondering why she couldn't have just waited an extra single goddamn minute to cry. She had been hungry, as Bickslow had expected, so he only stood in the kitchen for a moment, holding Scarlett in one arm while supporting the bottle in his other. The clock on the wall by the cabinets told him that it was just about six thirty, which explained the hunger he felt since he hadn't really eaten anything all afternoon.
Bickslow quickly decided food was in order, so he pushed off the counter and headed down the hall and back to his bedroom. Lucy had already decided she was seemingly done for the night, dressed in a soft pink nighty and making herself comfortable against the pile of pillows and under the blanket. Bickslow hadn't really expected anything less, he realised, although the bag that Lucy had first walked in with suddenly made sense – she'd actually brought her own clothes.
"Can you finish feeding her?" Bickslow asked, holding Scarlett out for Lucy to hold.
"Mm-hmm!" She brought the nearly nine-week-old infant in against her chest, cradling her comfortably while she took the bottle with the formula from Bickslow. She hadn't seen Scarlett for a few days, so the cuddles were more than needed, as far as Lucy was concerned.
Bickslow scratched at the back of his head as he reached down to pick up his shirt next, pulling it over his head. "I'm gonna go make something to eat. You hungry?"
"Bix, I'm always hungry when I'm here."
He rolled his eyes. "Right, of course." How could he forget that Lucy was basically a bottomless pit when it came to his food? "Well, what do you want then?"
"Whatever you're having is fine."
"…A toasted sandwich, probably."
Lucy nodded. "Sounds perfect."
Bickslow let out a sigh before turning back to the hall. He didn't always feel the need to cook proper meals. Sometimes he just couldn't be bothered. So there was the odd occasion that all he did was make simple things like toasted sandwiches, or packet noodles and soups. He even had the odd frozen pizza – although those were honestly disgusting and he usually only had those in the middle of the night.
He made the sandwiches quickly and plated them both, making sure the stove was switched off and the cold ingredients had been put back in the fridge before went back down the hall. He had the plates balance on the babies as he climbed into bed and got himself comfortable.
"They smell amazing," Lucy said softly, picking up one half of the sandwich still balanced precariously on the flying totem. She still had Scarlett resting on her lap with the bottle, but Lucy could tell that she was getting full and wasn't going to be taking the bottle for much longer. "What's in them?"
"Ham, cheese, tomato, and onion."
"Mm, perfect." She gave a pleased hum when she took a bite of the corner, and when she noticed Bickslow staring at her with an eyebrow raised, she felt her face flush and she mumbled around the mouthful of food, "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"
Bickslow shook his head and turned his attention to his own sandwich. "No reason." He was just… mildly confused by it all. He got the impression that Lucy would be spending the night, and it wasn't like he had any issues with that. It was just that it was kind of weird, especially with her sitting there in his bed with his daughter on her lap, like she actually belonged there. And Bickslow was inclined to think that she did.
But as weird as everything had been over the last few weeks, Bickslow still liked it all. He liked Lucy being there, and he liked watching her with Scarlett, and he liked those kinds of moments where they barely even did anything but eat dinner together. But all of it was so… domestic. But he loved that feeling. He really did.
But Bickslow wasn't going to explain any of that. He wasn't going to tell Lucy that he just loved how comfortable she was there with him and with Scarlett and just everything else – partly because he didn't want to, and partly because he just didn't think he needed to. So instead, Bickslow only found the small remote for the lacrima screen on the wall opposite the foot of his bed, and turned it on. There was bound to be something to watch.
Before long, the old, black-and-white movie they'd caught the end of was just finishing, and Scarlett was fast asleep right in the middle of the bed between the pillows and the mages. Lucy looked just about ready to fall asleep herself for whatever reason, almost completely under the covers and resting on her side, but Bickslow suspected that it was just more of a case that she was warm and comfortable and not so much tired.
With the credits rolling though, Bickslow only glanced back down to her before he said, "Can I ask you something?"
Lucy shrugged into the pillow. "You don't really have to ask me that, Bickslow," she said softly.
He nodded. He knew that, he did. It was just… He was mostly just still coming up with the correct way to phrase his question. He'd been thinking about it for the last week, and now that he had a chance to ask her, he almost wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer anymore. Still, he was going to ask anyway, just because there was a part of him that had never ceased to be curious about it.
"Last week," he began, sliding down further into the bed so he was level with Lucy, careful not to move one of the pillows and disturb his daughter. "When you came here in like the middle of the night…"
"Oh…" She knew where he was going with that.
"Why did you do that? Just randomly come here to kiss me and then leave, I mean," Bickslow whispered. "I'm not really complaining or anything… It was just… It was weird."
Honestly, Lucy had been expecting Bickslow to eventually bring that up, although part of her had kind of hoped he wouldn't have. In hindsight, Lucy wasn't sure if what she'd done had been the right thing (or the smart thing) to do. At the time though, it had definitely been all she'd wanted to do – to kiss him and to find out just what it was they had between them, or could have been between them. And part of her still wanted that, but…
But Lucy was too scared to really say it. She was too scared to say what she wanted, just in case it ruined what she already had.
So Lucy didn't quite know what answer she was supposed to give Bickslow. She certainly couldn't tell him the entire story. But part of it she could. Or so she hoped.
She was just a little embarrassed and shy as she came to finally admit quietly, "Well I, um… I don't really know, to be honest." It wasn't even a lie, though. Lucy still wasn't too sure just what had first compelled her to visit Bickslow that late. She didn't think she'd ever know, to be perfectly honest. "I'd been out with Laxus, and I just… I don't know."
"You went out with Laxus?"
Lucy could tell by his voice that he was suddenly feeling apprehensive, and it didn't really surprise her. "It wasn't really anything," she tried to assure him, shaking her head into the pillow. "He said he wanted to just hang out and get a drink or whatever."
That's basically a date in Laxus' book. "And?"
"And… I agreed to it. I didn't really want to go, but… But it wasn't that bad at first."
"At first," Bickslow mumbled. He wasn't even sure he wanted to know just what that was supposed to mean.
"He tried to get me to stay afterwards. When I wanted to make sure that he'd get home safe because he'd been drinking too much," Lucy whispered. A glance back to Bickslow meant she saw the almost scowl he was sporting. "I don't know, he somehow thought that we were good when we were together. But he was drunk, so I guess he wasn't really thinking about trying to kiss me and actually getting me to sleep with him again."
"He tried to kiss you?"
Lucy shrugged a little. "I didn't let him," she said. Although Lucy wasn't even sure why she'd felt the need to tell Bickslow any of that, now that she'd told him. It wasn't really any of his concern what had happened… Not really, at least. But part of her felt better about telling him for whatever reason – almost as if she'd been feeling guilty about it before.
"Right…" Bickslow shifted uncomfortably, turning onto his back to stare at the quiet advert for communications lacrimas now playing on the screen. "So I'm guessing that's when you came here to kiss me instead."
His words were bitter, and it sounded worse when it was phrased like that. "I guess so…"
Bickslow didn't really care to rest of it, the reason as to why Lucy had come to him straight after her not-date with Laxus, so he only pulled himself out of bed under the pretence of taking Scarlett up to her crib.
He didn't really know how he was supposed to feel about any of it. He didn't know how he was allowed to feel, either. But he felt almost… angry. And that just made him feel kind of stupid. He probably had no right to feel that way. Lucy wasn't his. What she did in her time was really none of his business. If she decided to spend that time with Laxus, then Bickslow just needed to get over it.
But then he remembered the conversation with Laxus, and all that he'd said to him just a few days earlier, and Bickslow just wanted to know why – why the fuck hadn't Laxus said anything about going out with Lucy? Did he even remember it? Or was he just that much of a fucking asshole that everything he'd said had actually just been complete bullshit. Honestly, right then, Bickslow expected it to be the latter.
But, Bickslow still was going to try his best not to let it bother him. He was also going to try his best to believe that his best friend wasn't going to be the dick that got in the way of things. Bickslow just wanted to be happy. He didn't want to be jealous, or pissed off at anyone, or worry about his best friend trying to get back with Lucy because he was just straight up delusional.
It still hurt, though. And why, Bickslow wasn't entirely sure. But it did, and he was going to do his best to ignore it.
When he finally got back into bed, it didn't take Lucy long to notice how unusually silent he'd become. She hoped that he wasn't mad at her, but she doubted Bickslow would've told her if she'd asked anyway. But right up until she fell asleep just a few hours later, that was all Lucy worried about.
Bickslow didn't have much trouble sleeping those days. He was so tired most night that he could fall asleep almost instantly and he'd stay that way until either the babies woke him up or the actual baby did.
That night though, Bickslow couldn't sleep. He'd tossed and turned the whole time, trying his best to get comfortable and to get his mind to switch off.
He'd been thinking about Lucy the whole time, though, and it had been just one stray thought that had kept him up. It was the same thought that he'd tried ignoring for weeks, the one that had him terrified of being right because he just wouldn't know what to do if he was. It was the same thought that had him turning to face Lucy sleeping peacefully beside him, and almost wishing that he was right, because then everything would make sense and that was what Bickslow desperately wanted.
Part of him wished he didn't have to do what he needed to do right then, but he knew it was necessary. As terrified as he was of finding out whether or not Lucy was what he suspected she was, Bickslow knew that it was the only way to put his mind at ease – well, to some extent, at least. He just needed to know for sure.
Only watching Lucy for another moment, Bickslow let out a heavy sigh and welcomed the slight burn that came whenever he started using his magic. The pain had been near unbearable when he'd been a child, even more so considering it had taken him years to be able to use his abilities freely and whenever he wanted. But even after nearly two decades of learning it and mastering it, the slight sting he felt had never completely gone away.
When the dim room became duller than before, just as it always did whenever he used his magic to see souls, Bickslow finally let his gaze drop down from Lucy's peaceful face resting on the pillow, and to the soft yellow ball of light emanating from her chest. But that wasn't what had Bickslow feeling like he couldn't breathe. He'd seen her soul before, probably more than he cared to admit.
It was the wisps of iridescent green that fanned out around the very centre of her soul, and it was the flowing passage of light that drew out from her soul that made Bickslow feel that way. All he could do was stare down at the tendrils of yellow and green melding together, his eyes travelling down the rope until he was staring at his own soul in his own chest, with the iridescent green and just barely visible wisps of yellow surrounding it.
It was the first time Bickslow had ever seen his own soul – under normal circumstances it wasn't doable. But he was seeing it then, and he knew, that it was the perfect mirror image of Lucy's.
That was what Bickslow had been so afraid of seeing, though – Lucy's soul having a piece of his own, and that tether that bonded them together. He'd originally wished he'd been right, just because it would all make sense, but Bickslow hated that now. He wished he'd been wrong.
He had to escape his bedroom just to be able to breathe again, and his hands trembled as he stood in the kitchen mixing up another bottle of formula to give Scarlett since he could vaguely realise that she'd be needing to be fed again.
But with Lucy… With what he'd seen… He knew what it meant. He knew why everything had been so goddamn weird over the last few weeks too, but that wasn't even relieving to Bickslow right then. He was only scared, because he just had no idea what he was supposed to do.
Bickslow had only ever read about the tethers. He'd never doubted their existence, but he'd never expected to ever see one himself. They were rare, he knew that much – rarer than soulmates in general – and the only reason they were documented in any kind of book was because of Seith magic. If Bickslow hadn't been a Seith mage, he would've been none the wiser to all that had been going on. But he was one, and Bickslow couldn't quite tell if that was a blessing or a curse in that moment.
Still, from the few times they'd been documented by his type, Bickslow knew that there was always something that put the whole thing into motion. The tethers didn't just form on first meeting – if they had, Bickslow would've known years earlier. There was always an event that sparked the link forming, and as he sat there, with Scarlett in his arms as he sat in her purple nursery, Bickslow only desperately searched his memories for something that could've been the beginning for it all.
"The kiss," Poppo said softly.
Bickslow looked up to the babies hovering just before him. "Kiss?" he echoed. That was usually all it took, he knew that. But he didn't know which one.
"The first one," the babies chorused.
"Oh…" Bickslow remembered that one, and… It made sense. Of course…
He'd really just pushed it to the back of his mind. He remembered it, though, and he remembered how different everything had felt afterwards – he remembered that small jolt of energy he'd felt when he'd first kissed her, too. With everything else that had happened after that… It had just seemed meaningless to dwell on it. At the time, it had just been a kiss.
Now though, Bickslow knew it hadn't been. It had never been something so simple.
And then everything after that, from barely being able to go two days without physically feeling like he needed her, to just preferring to having her close by because it was just better that way… It had all been because of that godforsaken link forming. The closer in proximity, and the more contact there was, the faster it developed. And even now with it completely formed – or it was close to it, as far as Bickslow could tell from what he'd seen – it was really no surprise that he could barely stand to be away from Lucy for more than a few days without feeling physically uncomfortable. She held a piece of his fucking soul. And, granted, he now held part of hers, but still…
The design of it was that you weren't complete without the other. And how they'd even come to exist, Bickslow really had no idea. But he knew that that was the way it was for them. He'd never feel complete unless Lucy was right next to him, and Bickslow honestly hated that.
He hadn't wanted that. No one in their right mind would want that. And as appealing as some people found the idea of soulmates, himself included sometimes, for those few unlucky bastards that actually met who it was they'd come to share a piece of their soul with, it was just unnecessary pain and suffering.
The worst part though, as Bickslow was realising, was that he'd known it all along. Or at the very least, he'd always suspected it. In the back of his head, he'd seemed to always know that it would be something like that, but he'd been too damn stubborn to believe it.
"We did tell you…" Pappa whispered in his head that time.
Bickslow sighed. "I know you guys did." They'd known it when he'd known it, right from that one cursed kiss. But Bickslow had just assumed they'd been fucking with him because that was just what they'd always done. It had never once occurred to him that when they'd joked about Lucy being his soulmate two months earlier, that they'd just been trying to get him to see what he'd always known to be true – deep down, at least.
But Bickslow just didn't know what he was supposed to do. All he could do stare down to his daughter still with her bottle in his arms, and try his best not to think about how much he'd managed to fuck things up just by kissing Lucy that one time.
Lucy woke up to the sound of rain pelting down just outside the tall windows. She stretched her arms out above her head and her legs out under the blanket, stifling a yawn as she did. She was always an early riser, and she'd gone to bed reasonably early too so she knew that the morning was really only just beginning.
She turned to see Bickslow still asleep beside her, and a small smile crept onto her lips. I hope he's in a better mood this morning. She understood why he'd been so silent the night before, but that didn't mean she'd liked it. Either way, Lucy knew it wasn't something to bring up again, and luckily, she didn't think she would ever have a reason to.
Bickslow still sleeping was a problem though. Not a major one, but a problem nonetheless. She slid forward on the sheets, bringing her pillow with her, to rest closer to the Seith mage. Lucy couldn't help but giggle quietly to herself. She thought Bickslow was cute when he was asleep – there was something so childlike and innocent about him that she couldn't help but love. She almost didn't want to disturb him though, just because he looked so peaceful, but… She was hungry. She wanted food, and Bickslow owed her a breakfast in bed.
So, gently, she leant forward just to press a quick kiss to his lips. She watched as his eyelids fluttered, and she reached out to gentle trace her finger down from between his eyebrows to the tip of his nose. His nose twitched then, and Lucy had to stifle her laughter with her hand as Bickslow slowly came to.
The first thing Bickslow saw when his eyes cracked open was Lucy's smile, and then he felt her soft lips press against his for a moment and Bickslow almost forgot about everything else that had kept him up until four in the goddamn morning.
"Good morning," Lucy whispered.
Bickslow rubbed at his eyes as he slowly got used to the light filtering into the room. "Gross," he mumbled. "Can smell your breath from here."
Lucy's hand quickly flew to her mouth as her cheeks became a deep shade of pink. "S-Shut up! Yours isn't much better, by the way…" Bickslow only chuckled quietly as he pressed the side of his face back into his pillow and closed his eyes again. Lucy dropped her hand from her mouth as she scooted forward again, watching him carefully as she let her hand wander down Bickslow's side to his hip before just barely dipping her fingers into the elastic waistband of his pants. "You didn't finish last night…" she murmured. Lucy felt kind of bad for it, too.
"I know. I'm fine." His lips lifted up into a small smile for just a moment as he pulled Lucy's hand back up. "Don't worry about me."
"Are you sure?"
He gave a small nod as he opened his eyes again. Bickslow really couldn't care less about sex right then. Partly because he just really wasn't in the mood, and partly because he was still worried about how he was going to deal with the fact that the woman in front of him was, in fact his soulmate.
He still hated it, and even if he knew there wasn't really anything to be done about it now, if he could go back in time and not kiss her that first time, then Bickslow would take that opportunity. As much as he'd loved the last few weeks with Lucy, where he got to hold her and not feel weird about it and get to occasionally wake up with her right night to him, he'd gladly forget it all if it meant Lucy wouldn't always be drawn back to him whether she wanted to be or not.
That just wasn't fair on her. She should get to choose who she's with. And, Bickslow knew that there was no guarantee that they'd even end up together at all. Lucy could still end up with someone else somewhere down the track. There would just be that part of her that would always be wanting to come back to him. She could fight it all she wants, but nothing would change, and she'd end up miserable because of it. Bickslow didn't want that for her. He didn't care about himself in any of it. Only Lucy.
Even then, Bickslow hadn't been able to help but wonder why Lucy was even there at all. Had it all just been because she'd let herself believe she felt something that didn't even exist, that the tether forming between them had been her own feelings? Or had it all been Lucy, nothing more and nothing less. Bickslow just didn't know. He didn't even know if how he felt was real or not.
Bickslow wasn't really sure of anything anymore.
What he couldn't deny, though, was that he still loved seeing Lucy there right then. He loved seeing Lucy smiling at him, and as unsure as he was about everything, he was still happy in that moment. And that was a feeling he'd come to cherish so much over the last few weeks. That peace, that contentedness.
If he were to give up everything that had happened over the last few weeks with Lucy, just to make sure that things hadn't ended up like they had with an unbreakable ethereal link between them, then it would be that feeling that Bickslow would miss the most.
Still though, Bickslow really did know there was nothing he could do about it. There was no way he could go back in time and choose not to kiss her. Even then, he doubted it would've made much difference anyway. He was inclined to think that he would've done it eventually, and things would still end up being the same.
So really, what was Bickslow supposed to do when there was nothing he could do? He still wasn't going to tell Lucy, at least not right then. Maybe all he could do was make the best of the situation, and hope that he hadn't completely fucked things up.
Even so, Bickslow kind of just wanted to be selfish. He didn't want to worry about why Lucy was there. He didn't want to worry about her hating him once he did tell her all of it. He didn't want to worry about Laxus, either. Bickslow just wanted to believe the best and be selfish. He wanted to enjoy what he could before everything blew up in his face.
So he was going to do just that.
Quickly then, Bickslow lifted his arm to drop over Lucy's waist and pull her closer to him, wrapping himself around her and kissing her cheek before he dropped down to do the same to her neck and then her shoulder. Her laugh was like music to his ears, and right then, Bickslow had no intentions of moving. At least not until his kid woke up, which he suspected to be soon because Scarlett seemed to be really good at ruining his moments with Lucy those days.
"What do you want to do today?" Bickslow murmured, letting his mouth ghost up to the bottom of her ear before pulling back just to rest his head on the pillow again.
Lucy didn't seem to mind that Bickslow was assuming she would spend the day there. She had no plans anyway. "I don't know." She gave a small shrug. "What do you think?"
He glanced to the window behind her and to the rain still coming down heavily. He knew they'd forecast it to rain most of the day. "It's going to be a really shitty day. Could stay in bed and watch movies with Scout."
"That sounds fantastic. But…"
"…Yes?"
"You owe me breakfast in bed first."
Bickslow sighed, but he couldn't keep the tired smirk off his face. He remembered that deal. "I do, don't I?" he hummed, and Lucy nodded. "Well, how about you decide what you want while I go get Scout up." He heard the babies telling him that she was just waking up, which means the crying would be starting any moment now and Bickslow wanted to avoid that as much as he could.
"That sounds like a plan."
"Good." He leant in to plant a quick kiss to her lips, despite his earlier protests, before rolling to climb out of bed. "I'll be back in a few minutes."
He made it up the stairs just as Scarlett started to cry. He got her changed quickly – a messier than usual task considering how fussy she'd been – and was then carrying her down the stairs to set her in the bouncer while he got the formula mixed up. Thankfully, it was done quickly, and soon, Bickslow had a happy baby getting her breakfast.
There was a knock on the door right when Bickslow had been about the head back down the hall to see if Lucy had decided on something to eat, so he only turned on his heels to go and see who was outside. It was barely past seven from what he could tell from when he'd glanced at the clock, so he'd really had no idea who to expect. But between one moment and the next, Bickslow had been opening the door to an officer in blue and a woman in a suit, and he'd had a folded letter handed to him just as his daughter had been pulled straight from his arms and taken away from him.
A/Ns: I feel as if the more comfortable I get with writing smut, the worse it actually gets, quality wise. I don't know. I really don't know.
Anyway. A few things to address. First of all, I get that some of my, uh... 'language' may not be the best/nicest at times, but it's what I'm comfortable using at the moment. If it offends anyone, I'm sorry. Feel free to message me if it does. I'll do my best to fix it/find more suitable alternatives that don't make me uncomfortable as a writer.
Secondly, yes, it is an annoying soulmate AU. Sort of. Honestly, this is one of those rare stories that I've had plotted out completely since the very beginning. This chapter had been a long time coming. I know the explanation was vague as hell for the most part, but I promise you, it does come up again in the next chapter/the one after that. I'm trying to steer away from the more cliche soulmate AU things, so I'm hoping that will become more obvious in the coming chapters. Also, yes, it was heavily hinted in like chapter five or something. The babies did, in fact, tell Bickslow multiple times.
And, last story-related note... The next chapter will be titled 'Home'. I'm rather excited for it.
Now, non-story notes. BixCo Week is in October. I'm excited for it. Super excited for it. Two of the chapter at this current point tie in with other fics/future fics, so I'm incredibly excited to write those. Also, I'm back at uni again the end of July/beginning of August, so updates will be slow/borderline non-existent for a while. Don't hate me for it. I'll be doing my best to finish off some longer one-shots, like the sequel to Sunshine, and chapters of S&S and Adventures in Step Parenting. But, I'll be busy, so I can't guarantee anything. For the most part, I'll be focusing on finishing off my BixCo Week stories so I can actually have them all posted when they're supposed to be.
Anyway. Reviews are always appreciate. Thank you all for 300 follows, though! Sometimes I'm not sure why this seems to be my most popular (or at least one of them) stories...