Authors Note: I own nothing. No ownership rights to Beverly Hills 90210.

Chapter Four

As soon as the van left the parking lot I had a desire to get out of there, I'm worried that being around Jim I'm going to say something. Bren and I are so good in this moment. I didn't know it but not getting on that freeway, not going for that drive after my meeting let us reconnect completely. It wasn't just about telling her about the threat, or how she told me the night prior about sitting in her father's chair, both those things helped but it was more than that. It was finally opening up from the start of this ordeal. It was the reason I invited her to Baja, it was my need to spend more time with her, it was her making a decision that important without telling me. It was the fact that we were realising we were moving in a direction that went beyond a high school romance, it was our emotions and our heads not aligning.

My emotions wanted her to be with me more, these last nine months we had spent together even with my drinking and the holdup, had been the most stable and the happiest of my life. I wanted more, I wanted to keep having them I wanted to move forward. Her staying the night or us going to Baja gave us that movement. My approach though, of being adamant that she be firm with her parents was my head not aligning. I didn't consider it from her point of view, I didn't consider what I knew of her parents they would never respond to that.

Her wanting the same wanting more time with me and being nervous to disappoint me, knowing that it would be a struggle for her parents to accept it and deciding to be reckless was the same thing. We had both been guided by our emotions and lost our heads. Us not taking a moment to think about it from each other's perspective, not talking to each other, unreasonably pushing each other had put us in this situation. Since yesterday though we had opened it all up, we had unpacked it all. We had been honest about these weeks but also honest about the catalyst- we both wanted more, and we were getting frustrated, irritated, and irrational with each other in our pursuit.

Kelly had been speaking as the van had left the carpark and honestly I had so much going on I wasn't paying attention. Hopefully she understood that Bren leaving was where my mind was at, I meant no disrespect to her. I quickly excused myself and left the club I had things to do before I needed to collect my mother, namely clean out the spare room that on my mother's return to Hawaii had become the dumping ground for anything I didn't want to deal with. My girl had cleaned and organised the house in the last week but she had closed the door on that room six weeks after Iris had left and had been adamant ever since that she wasn't touching my tower's of boxes. She loved me but dying from falling boxes of random stuff wasn't how she wanted to go out.

By the time I was leaving for the airport I had thrown or properly emptied seven boxes, moved my surfboards to my newly purchased rack by the side of the house, and had moved the remaining boxes into one side of the wardrobe. It wasn't a Brenda clean but it was pretty good for me. I knew my girl on returning home would roll her eyes at seeing the wardrobe, sigh and then close the door. She'd be teasing me about turn down service for the remainder of the night after that.

The next morning Bren calls and is in a playful mood. She knows the next weeks will be difficult so I appreciate her trying to keep me feeling light. When she tells me of the hotel being the next level up on that leaky musty cabin I feel both sorry for her and happy for us. When I take her to Paris properly it will mean that it will be a completely different trip, like I did in Baja I can share my Paris with her, and hopefully she can share hers with me. When I get off the phone I call the hotel Jack and I use to stay at. They transfer me to their concierge who unsurprisingly remembers Jack and I- we were big spenders and regular summer guests. He gives me the name of a local florist and even offers to put the order in for me, I accept and provide the details for the card.

The next day Mum and I go to the lawyer, I sign a statement about my recent meeting at Jim's and he advises that the paperwork will take a week to put together before we serve Jim but in the meantime it's important to consider where the trust assets will go. Mum and I both see the benefits of the trust for security but also the concern of this happening again. When I advise her that I'd leave it up to her discretion she seems taken a back, it was a gift from her she has held and kept that money safe the longest. I trust her judgment.

I'm not surprised when Bren's letter arrives as I assumed I'd be getting either a postcard or some pictures. I'm shocked when I realise that it's a letter unpacking her experience of our first two meetings. It makes me smile, she understood what we shared before she left and she is wanting to keep it going, in the upheaval of what my life is becoming I love that she is taking us back to a simpler time and letting me know what it meant to her. To read that regardless if we got together or didn't she had felt blessed to have me as a friend is calming. People have always wanted things from me, my money, access to my dad's power, my looks, my car, my status, but to hear I was enough just me, was exactly why I fell for her at the start. She see's me. She wants me. The real me.

In my return letter I tell her how that day I was internally laughing at Kelly's new attempt to grab my attention, having been on the receiving end of these questions since the start of freshman year. What I wasn't prepared for and what sobered up my internal laugher was looking into her eyes. I had seen her on the driveway that night when I had gone out with Brandon and his Minnesota girlfriend, and Brandon had pointed her out well the back of her head at school but it had been the first time I had seen her eyes.

Poet's talk of love at first sight, it was the first time I believed it could happen. A few day's later I had even struck up a conversation with Kelly hoping she would make an appearance, maybe gain another opportunity to see those eyes make sure it wasn't a fluke. She didn't come by and I decided I might have to try another method. Fate however stepped in when I came across her jogging. That afternoon while we chatted in the hairdresser, the smock hiding her tiny running shorts and with dye in her hair, I learnt three things. She was smart as hell, could take a joke and make a joke, and I could get lost in her eyes for hours- she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen inside and out. When our afternoon together didn't become common gossip in the day's afterwards I knew she could be trusted, I knew she wasn't trying to use me. It made me trust my instinct.

When Brandon a few day's later said he was working on his car I jumped at the chance. When I heard her voice from my position beneath the car, it had taken me a moment to calm my breathing and figure out my approach, Brandon being there was a problem but I wasn't willing to let the opportunity pass. If I had been lost in her eyes at our first meeting, and struck by her beauty in the next, our third had me seeing fireworks. She was sexy, sassy, and had made electric currents run through me even without touching me. It was those currents that made me instantly turn when I felt her on the balcony, it was the hope of more that had me leave the bathroom door open. That night I got to know another side of her, the popcorn hog, the twin sister, the girl who I could have fun with, who had questionable music taste at times, a girl I could hang out with. If I had been interested before now I was hooked.

When Brandon got a cold I knew fate was stepping in again. Blowing off the movie to spend time together had been an impulsive decision, and though I regretted scaring her I'm glad she got an insight into my life. I'm glad it opened the floodgates to share my story. Our whirlwind was intense from the start but loving her has changed me completely, it has brought out my best self. I like the man I am being in love with her, I like the man who strives to be worthy of her everyday. A California girl wouldn't be able to bring him to the surface, and I'm glad she never feels like this life quite fits, as I never felt it quite fits me either. Schmoozing, shopping, gossip, crowds, and trend setting doesn't seem like us. I like that we both want genuine connection, we want truths in a world full of people lying to each other and lying to themselves.

I send my letter express post back to her, and then spend the next days treasuring hers. I read it so many times that the paper was creased and her perfume had begun to wear off of it.

When Jack's notice of a parole hearing came a few day's later my Mum and I are stunned, it wasn't expected. When he asked to see me I went, when he put the hard word on me about writing a character reference I was disappointed. We had been gradually building honesty, and while he was still being honest in what he wanted I didn't appreciate the demand. I left the prison and went to the beach club I wanted a surf an opportunity to clear my head. I bumped into Kelly and while she tried to engage me in some of the beach club activities I wasn't interested, I needed to get into the water. When I got home that afternoon my Mum heard about Dad's hard word.

"Dylan your relationship with your father is complex, all of his issues have never been about you. Your father well let's just say his world fell apart and as I said it can make people change. But Darling you don't owe either of us anything. We are the ones who have to make amends not you."

"What happened to him? I have memories of him at times being great then it would just stop and he'd need to get away."

"Darling I'll tell you but only once you decide if you are or are not going to write that letter. The story may help you understand your father but like with Jim he was and is the adult, like me as well. We've failed you, it's not your job to clean up our messes. Darling I'll support you either way but in this do what you feel is right for you."

Bren had been a little less zen about my father's request, she felt it was too much to lay on my shoulders; his potential freedom or continued incarceration. She said she'd support my decision either way and that while she didn't have the same complex situation in her home life she understood my desire to hope for more. That maybe this time it could be different. If I choose the hope she'd be there to cheer if it succeed or to catch me if it was a disappointment, if I choose not to write the letter she'd hold my hand and support me even if it sealed my fate with my father.

We never spoke of the letter she had I assume received and I liked the idea that we were keeping them as these hidden truths, like long distance whispers between lovers. Two day's later while my Mum went to deliver the paperwork to Jim I disappeared to the beach club, I couldn't stand the wait at home and I thought I'd try the letter for my dad. When Kelly found me I was surrounded by my drafts, we chatted a bit and she asked about my dad's parole having heard it on the news. I told her of my letter struggles, she gave me the advice that when it doubt lie. We had an iced tea after that at the bar, and while she spoke about her summer and Erin I half listened too busy considering her suggestion.

That night on the phone with Bren she blew that suggestion up, and playfully responded with a typical Kelly. She then let me know it was both her and Donna's idea to lie about Baja. She joked it backfired a little. An understatement considering the intense meeting my mother had had at the Walsh house that day. Bren had heard all about Iris' visit first from Brandon calling her hotel and then me sharing my mother's perspective. Iris, Bren and I were all in agreement let's give it a few day's for everyone to calm down.

My mother had decided that she was putting the bulk of the money in a long term deposit with a good interest rate and steep penalties for withdrawals, some in a portfolio of shares that a friend in Hawaii who had retired young from making a killing in the stock market had agreed to help me manage, and the rest in my account. The caveat on the account was that it would require her signature on any spending over twenty thousand. I didn't mind that one bit. She effectively was giving me access to ten percent of my trust in both the shares and bank account to start learning to look after it myself- it was a big demonstration of her faith in me.

After going through the family drama and Trust decision, Bren advised that Kelly's idea wasn't the best idea and was especially not healthy for me.

"Dylan what would Ben say if you asked if you should lie?"

I could instantly see her point, "he'd say people who are working the program need to maintain authenticity. That lie's fester for us they ferment, eventually it could send me backwards."

"Baby it's one of the reasons I didn't come clean immediately of my decision to lie about Baja. I didn't want to encourage you to start lying but I made you lie by default and that wasn't right of me. I can understand why you thought at the lockers that we might need to keep our distance. I'm sorry that I was impulsive and did not consider what I'd be putting on you, that I was introducing lies back into your life when you had worked so hard to get rid of them."

"Hey we spoke about this before you left, I shouldn't have pushed so hard. I knew your Dad wouldn't ever be okay about you standing up to him like that, demanding to go. I was asking the impossible and you were trying to make it happen, keep everyone happy."

"And made no one happy in doing it."

"Oh I don't know about that. Do you remember the dancing in Baja, do you remember me declaring that it was enough, do you remember me throwing you over my shoulder climbing the stairs quickly to get back to our room? God that night… have I told you how much I miss you? Every part of you? I was dreaming last night about how you do that thing with your tong-"

"Baby you may be at home in your room in our bed but I'm in a lobby full of people. My cheeks are warming up."

"I like that I can still make you blush." I groan god I loved the way her cheeks get pink with her blush, or when they are flushed from our enjoyment. I breathe out, god I want her. After a few seconds I'm composed again, "okay I'll be good."

"Only four more weeks to go." She sighs, "tell me what you would want to happen if Jack got parole. What would be your hopes?"

Within minutes I was sharing all the things I'd like to say and do with him, and how I'd like to get to know him. She tells me to write that. Don't write about the past, write about my hopes for him and I for the future. How parole could be a fresh start, an opportunity before College and adulthood got in the way. A chance for him to see some of the significant and once in a lifetime milestones in my life, like graduating high school. I smiled into the phone telling her how much I loved her. I could write that letter, I could be true to me and help my dad. My girl was amazing, she knew me and what I needed.

The second letter arrived like the first as a surprise, she never mentioned it had been sent. Within it she told me all about her emotions the first few weeks of us dating, how she was nervous at times, how hurt she had been on hearing about Kelly trying to get a date with me – I was surprised she knew that, I had never wanted to ruin her friendship and I didn't know if Kelly was merely taking on the responsibility to test me. I'd hoped that was the case as I knew Brenda would never ask her to test me herself, and I didn't want to believe that Kelly would be actively perusing her friends boyfriend. When she got to our Palm Springs weekend she shared all her fears, her anticipation, her sleeping in a broom closet. It was things I knew but to hear the emotions behind them had me laughing out loud at times or reassessing how I had approached those situations, influencing her in the car to go with me.

In my return letter I told her how I felt about those times, I went through it all. How it felt thinking she had stood me up, my attempt at absolute honesty that had her running off to the Silvers, my frustration that she wasn't willingly to talk it through. I spoke of David's grandfather's advice, how he had been dumped so many times before him and his wife had learnt to talk, to really talk. I told her I liked talking to her she was my favourite person to listen and speak to. I liked that I could both know her so well and still be surprised by her.

Nothing epitomised the surprise more than walking into The Pit and meeting Laverne. It showed me that my girl was outrageous, talented, hilarious, and unique. I loved that she had so many facets to her personality, I knew our life together would never be boring. She'd keep me on my toes for the next seventy year's and I couldn't wait. When I sent that letter off I knew that if she wrote again and was doing what I was thinking she was doing, unpacking sophomore year when we were just learning each other, learning what it meant to be in love. She'd do it chronologically.

I knew what the next letter would contain and I was actually hesitant to receive it, I knew it would require me to respond back. In the day's waiting for its arrival I distracted myself with volleyball at the beach club or surfing. Kelly and I had entered the tournament of the former, and while it was fun I felt bad that I was only partially present during my conversations with her. Thinking of that next letter had me thinking of the cancer scare and that it would always be a potential knife hanging over us- it left me distracted.

Kelly must have realised I was out of sorts as she even invited me to babysit her sister with her and watch movies to cheer me up. It was a nice offer but I had dinner planned with Mum and surprisingly I actually wanted to share my turmoil with Iris. I wanted Mum to tell me that I was fearing nothing, that I was worrying for nothing that they would always be cysts. I wanted that so badly that I'd even believe it based on fucking tea leaves or palm reading shit.

Even wanting that reassurance from my mum, I knew Bren's aunt had been diagnosed young, had died in her mid thirties. I knew that any promises from Iris would be empty that it could happen, that I could end up only having a short time with Bren.

Thank you for the reviews, likes and fav's.

Now I don't usually say what's happening next but I know a few of you wanted to read Jim getting his ass handed to him. Iris's perspective is next.