Chapter Twelve: Peek the Poke
Las Vegas was one of those rare places that was exactly how you expected it to be. It was a city that seemed lost in its mess of contradictions, glamorous, glitzy, spectacular, seedy, pathetic, abhorrent, strangely beautiful, cheesy, ridiculous, garish, magnetic, disgusting, entirely false and most of all, entirely based on money, obsessed with it. Obsessed with those dollar bills.
In the end, it was in some ways the pinnacle of the Western world, the natural conclusion to unchecked capitalism.
It was a place that was built on a fantasy.
Lizzy liked it. Not all of it, but most of it. She loved the decadence, the feeling that this was a place where anything went, a place where no one was who they said they were, where no one was good or decent. It was just Vegas, a grifter heaven.
It was only on her second day of a two-week stay that she came to this conclusion. She and Charlotte had already had so much fun, Lizzy was so happy to be back with her friend and back on good terms. She was even pleased to see she had been wrong, it was apparent that Charlotte had in fact made the right choice. It seemed like she could pretty much do what she wanted here and still get paid for it. She was basically living the dream. They cruised the bars on their first night together, not keen to enter the majestic casinos quite yet. They'd had to address their falling out otherwise it would hang over the holiday like a bad smell. They sorted it within five minutes, that was the great thing about Charlotte, and then let loose. They drank and danced, got chatted up and amused themselves by thinking of the most creative ways to turn blokes down. Charlotte already knew a fair few people so conversation was never lacking. All in all, it had been great, and Lizzy was so glad she had swallowed her pride.
And we haven't even mentioned the suite.
Somehow, Charlotte had managed to swing the best of the best at Rosings Park, one of the top-floor apartments, lavish in its design and with a stunning view over the bright lights. If she had been impressed by the Netherfield, it was nothing compared to this. Billy had given her the full tour of the hotel and casino this morning, and you know what, part of her was actually pleased to see him again. She'd actually missed his weirdness. He was so unintentionally funny that spending any amount of time with him had become something of a joy. He was still an idiot, still couldn't go five minutes without bringing up his Ladyship, but even that grew more tolerable. Who was she turning into, Lizzy thought as she looked out over the city. She didn't know, but she thought she might like this version better. For the first time in a long while, she was happy.
So, of course, that's when everything went wrong.
She had a bad feeling about it anyway. Tonight was the night she was to meet Lady Catherine herself. She had been surprised by the invitation, even Charlotte had raised an eyebrow. Of course, she'd met the lady numerous times in a work-related capacity but she had never been invited to dinner after clocking off. Charlotte was being coy as well, every time Lizzy asked about the imposing figure she'd just smirk and say 'You'll see soon enough'. It wasn't that Lizzy was nervous, not really, but her experiences with Darcy and his lot had only served to solidify her opinion of these rich folk. All in all, she really wasn't looking forward to it.
Nevertheless, she put on her best dress and made herself look presentable.
"You look stunning, Lizzy!" Charlotte exclaimed when she emerged.
"As do you." Lizzy smiled, and she was being truthful. It was strange to see Charlotte in anything that wasn't Doc Martens and ripped clothing, but she scrubbed up well. They were interrupted from their mutual ego boosting by a ring at the door, Billy to pick them up. As usual, he looked pretty ridiculous, dressed in the same white tux he'd worn to Bingley's shindig all those months ago. Thought she could still see the hints of a wine stain on it….
"Ladies, you look beautiful!" he effused as they stepped into the hallway.
"Looking dapper yourself, Billy," Lizzy smirked, Charlotte elbowing her in the ribs.
"Thank you, Lizzy," Billy continued on obliviously, beginning to lead them towards the elevator. "Now, before we go up, I must remind you of the importance of her ladyship and the honour that has been bestowed upon you. The lady rarely takes social calls so it is imperative that you treat her with the respect she deserves."
"Jesus, Billy, we're not meeting the fucking Queen." Lizzy chuckled.
"As a matter of fact, you kind of are," Billy responded. "In Vegas, she is as close as it comes to royalty. And I know you mean well, Elizabeth, but can you please leave your vulgarity at the door? This is a civilised setting and I am told there may well be some other extra important guests as well."
"Who?" Charlotte asked.
"No idea, you'd think as head of security I'd have been briefed, but as always, her ladyship knows best. Anyway, just make sure your manners are correct and you will be fine."
"I will be the perfect English Rose." Lizzy mocked in a breathy, girlish voice.
"Excellent, excellent," Billy nodded, missing the sarcasm, ushering them into the elevator and swiping his key on the panel. They began to ascend to a floor that Lizzy hadn't even been aware existed. "I know this must be very exciting for you, girls, particularly due to where you come from and the sheer disparity in situation, but I know that you will rise to the challenge!"
Whereas once Lizzy would have been mildly offended by his classism, now she just found it amusing. This whole evening had the potential to be one hell of a story to tell the others in the Jack Hammer. It was like a warped version of that fucking awful excuse for snobbery, Downton Abbey.
"Don't worry, Billy," Charlotte touched his arm. "It'll be fine."
"Of course," the elevator pinged as he spoke. "Well then, here we are! Remember what I said, ladies."
Lizzy stepped out first into the grand area. I mean, this was fucking insane. It was like she'd walked onto a different planet, like she was looking at space itself. The walls were entirely glass, creating a dome over their heads that encased them completely, almost a full 360 of Vegas and the heavens. They were with the stars here, giving the illusion of being almost at eye level with them. But what was stranger was the room itself. It was an indoor garden, teeming with greenery and water fountains, arranged in perfect symmetry. She could have been in some National Trust grounds, it was so English. That school of centuries gone by English, an England of landowners ruling over peasants. Bad analogy, Lizzy quickly corrected herself. That description still applied to the England of today in a way, just replace landowners with CEO's and media moguls. It was just so bizarre, the opposite of what she had expected. Looked across at Charlotte whose expression of wonder mirrored her own. They were startled by a voice that echoed around the room but seemed to have no source.
"Well, don't just gawk, ladies," the voice said in a snide tone. "I haven't got all evening and you're already approximately one minute and twenty-three seconds late. Billy, we're in the lounge."
Lizzy smirked, before quickly rearranging her face, realising that who she assumed to be Lady Catherine was probably watching them. Billy did this ridiculous half-bow thing to the omniscient voice and rushed them through the maze of the garden. There was even real gravel under her feet, was beginning to regret the heels. Mind you, when you were invited to a formal dinner you didn't expect to have to traipse through the Chelsea fucking Flower Show to get there. They advanced quickly, soon coming to a door that was almost entirely hidden by vines snaking all around them. Billy knocked twice and pushed the door open a fraction before pausing.
"Remember what I said," he muttered, sweating again. Should you really be this nervous to see your boss, Lizzy wondered. Before she had time to laugh, the door was open and she was walking in.
"Lateness is not tolerated in this hotel." a voice called out.
Lizzy looked to her left to see the back of a chair, the occupant obviously gazing over the strip. The figure stood up slowly and turned around.
"So, what is your excuse?"
Lady Catherine was imposing, that was the only word for it. Lizzy put her age at around sixty, but she could have been much older for all she knew. She held herself with pride and superiority, expression pinched and deadly serious. There were no laugh lines, no lines at all in fact. Probably botox, Lizzy snorted inwardly. Her eyes were narrow, almost like slits, piercing grey and ever watchful. Never darting, just stone cold and still. So this was Lady Catherine De Bourgh, the Queen of Las Vegas.
"Well?" Catherine demanded.
"I apologise, your ladyship," Collins simpered, rushing forward to kiss her hand. "The ladies were getting ready."
Lizzy couldn't help but let out a snort at Billy's passing of the buck. Catherine looked at her sternly but luckily made no comment.
"One must always be as immaculately turned out as one can be," Catherine appeared to concede, but her tone suggested a different angle. "However, to keep people waiting is a sin indeed."
"We apologise, Lady Catherine," Lizzy spoke up, she wasn't going to be afraid of this woman. "It won't happen again."
Catherine looked at her for what was genuinely a full thirty seconds without saying anything. Lizzy really didn't know what was going to happen next.
"No, it won't," Catherine spoke after a while and began to walk towards her. She moved with grace and dignity, slow but assured, confidence oozing from her. "My name is Lady Catherine De Bourgh, owner of this hotel."
Catherine held out her hand in a way that suggested Lizzy was supposed to kiss it as Billy had.
Fuck that.
"Elizabeth Bennet," Lizzy grasped her hand in a shake firmly. Catherine looked for a moment surprised by the handshake, but Lizzy swore she saw a hint of an approving smirk on the woman's face. "It's an honour to meet you."
"Yes, I expect it is," Catherine said, snootily, before turning her attention to Charlotte. "And Miss Lucas, it is good to see you again. How goes your time at Rosings?"
Lizzy was surprised by the question but realised that Catherine was probably just observing the niceties and making sure Charlotte had the opportunity to praise her and her empire.
"It has been wonderful," Charlotte gushed, causing Lizzy to roll her eyes and the blatant sucking up. "I have been truly blessed to be presented with this opportunity."
"Yes, you have," Catherine nodded, sitting down on a chair that could only be described as a throne, gesturing for them to sit on the sofas surrounding it. Lizzy almost had a heart attack when she realised that they were not alone, a small and pale-looking young woman was sitting right there in front of them.
"Certainly an unorthodox route into the job," Catherine sneered. "From working The Flop to pushing pens in an instant."
"Well…." Charlotte attempted to say something, but she was cut off.
"Relax, dear," Catherine snapped, causing the opposite of her words. "I've always prided myself on my charity work. Besides, it's not like you're doing anything particularly important. Oh, of course, this is my daughter Anne by the way. Sit up straight Anne, for God's sake!"
The girl called Anne started and rearranged her posture, sending a timid smile and wave to all of them, never making eye contact.
"Greet them properly, Anne!" Catherine said sternly. "If only I could have sent you to that finishing school….. Anne suffers from her ill health you see, so I thought it was best for her to remain by my side."
She talked about her own daughter as if she wasn't there, and the way Anne just looked at her shoes told Lizzy that it was a regular occurrence. An image of Frances suddenly popped into her mind for some reason. It made Lizzy grin to think of how insulted Catherine would be if she knew she was being compared to such a person.
"You, Elizabeth!" Catherine brought her round. "You seem to smile a lot."
"Does it offend you?" Lizzy said lightly, feeling Billy pinch her arm in horror.
"I don't know," Catherine mused, before dropping the subject entirely. "Now, what were we talking about? Oh yes, Charlotte, your new position."
"As I said, it's going great," Charlotte replied, purposefully not looking at Lizzy, probably knowing she'd see the mockery. "I thank you so much for everything…"
"It's going so great that you can already afford to take time off?" Catherine said sharply. "Forgive me, but I didn't realise I was running a spring break for you and your friends. Staying in room 2004, aren't you? Despite the fact that I have provided you with very generous accommodation and a company car, making the commute less than twenty minutes. Makes me wonder just how grateful you are…"
"Well, see…." Charlotte began nervously.
"It's my fault, Lady Catherine," Lizzy jumped in front of the bullet. "I'd just heard so many things about the majesty of Rosings Park, that I insisted on staying here. I apologise, it was impertinent and unfair, but this place is just so legendary that I couldn't pass up the opportunity of seeing it for myself. It may be my only chance, seeing as I can never expect to be in such esteemed company again due to my circumstances. I still can't quite believe you are going to such trouble for us…."
Lizzy was quite pleased with her little performance, she thought she'd read Catherine already, thought she'd hit the right buttons, praising her and her social status.
She was wrong.
Catherine narrowed her already narrowed eyes.
"Do you take me for a fool, Miss Bennet?" she began. "You think that flattery and bare-faced lying will serve you well? Anyone with half a brain can see that you didn't mean a single word of that little speech. My guess is that you find this whole situation an amusement, do you not?"
"Not at all." Lizzy managed to splutter out. This woman really was something else. She had expected a parody, an up themselves aristocrat who obliviously heard what she wanted to hear.
"Hm….," Catherine noised, but again Lizzy thought she saw the hint of that smirk again. "At least you made the effort I suppose. You have talked your way into remaining in my hotel. But you will be back to work tomorrow, Charlotte, understand? And, Elizabeth, it will not work again, don't think that you have gained any sort of victory. You can stay because you have amused me slightly, that is it. Now please, from now on, refrain from any falsehood. It doesn't suit you half as well as you think it does."
Lizzy nodded, confused by what was occurring. It was all a bit surreal.
"Billy," Catherine turned her attention away, seemingly bored by her for now. "I've had the board run over those projections…"
Catherine was cut off by a crash from behind the door that they had entered before.
"Fucking hell! Fucking vines and fucking plants all over the fucking place!" a muffled voice was heard by all. Even through the door, she could detect the pleasant Scottish lilt. Again, Lizzy couldn't help but smile at the mystery intruder's voice, quickly covering her mouth as Catherine looked her way.
"For God's sake." Catherine rolled her eyes.
The swearing died down, and after a struggle, the door opened and a youngish man almost fell through it, causing the swearing to start up again. Catherine just pursed her lips, in a manner that suggested this was not at all the first time it had happened. The man stood up straight, taking a quick glance around the room, passing over them as if he didn't register them, as if he was looking around for something else far more important. Lizzy was sure she had seen him before, but couldn't quite place him. He was around six foot with messy brown hair that looked like it needed a cut. He wore thick-rimmed glasses and unkempt stubble. Thin in a rakish way, he wasn't classically handsome, a bit pale and chic geek, but he exuded confidence.
"That bloody garden will be the death of me, Lady C!" he grumbled good-naturedly, striding across the room, one hand in his pocket. He still hadn't looked at them. "Soon I'll have to come up with a machete to hack my way through."
"Oh, please, like you could wield a machete," Catherine said, disdainfully. "Every time I see you you look thinner and paler. And could I please have my Blackjack dealer back? How you attract these women looking like an anaemic ghost is beyond me. She didn't show up for her shift again tonight, and was last seen disappearing into the Bellagio on your arm."
"Alright, alright," the man chuckled, letting out a whoop of triumph when he located the drinks carousel, pouring himself a more than generous measure of whiskey. Again, Lizzy laughed slightly, a man after her own heart. "Don't blame me if she has trouble concentrating though. It has been quite the wild ride for her…"
"Please…" Catherine said, disgust laced through every syllable, only causing the man to laugh loudly again.
"Just keeping your staff happy, Lady C!" he joked, his back still to them, hand emerging from his pocket.
"Hmm. You better not have been feeding her too much from room service either. If she has put on an ounce of weight she'll have to look elsewhere for work."
"Don't worry, we burned the calories off, if you know what I mean!" he finally turned to face them, eyes on Catherine They were sparkling behind the convex, clearly he was thoroughly enjoying himself. Lizzy wondered who he could be, who had the balls to talk to Catherine like this. She counted herself as a pretty brave individual, but even she had been reduced to a stuttering wreck in front of her.
"In case you hadn't noticed, we have guests," Catherine sneered at him. "Besides, where's…."
"On his way, just taking a call," he replied jovially, finally looking at them with smiling eyes.
"You're late enough as it is.." Catherine attempted to tell him off.
"Late? It's barely seven o'clock! You know, some parties I go to don't start until at least midnight."
"We are having dinner, not going to one of your sordid soirées."
"Sordid? I'll have you know the events I go to are the epitome of sophistication…. If by sophistication we mean mountains of cocaine and several former Miss Columbia's…"
Lizzy couldn't help but laugh again, causing Catherine to again admonish her with a look. She couldn't help it, this situation had turned even more bizarre with the appearance of this character. Still, just where had she seen him before….?
"So, hello everybody!" he waved with a laugh, bending down to kiss Catherine on the cheek. "Lady C, looking beautiful as ever. And Anne, my darling! When will you escape this prison and run away with me?"
Anne let out a squeak, which caused his face to fall into the briefest moment of sadness and pity. It was soon replaced as he turned to look at them.
"Billy Collins, my man! Good to see you again. Bloody hell, have you brought real-life females with you? This is quite the turn of events, didn't know you had it in you…"
"Elizabeth Bennet and Charlotte Lucas, real-life females," she smirked, offering her hand for him to shake. He looked at it, eyes dancing with amusement, grasped it and pulled her up so he could kiss her on both cheeks. Did the same with Charlotte.
"It's a pleasure, ladies!" he exclaimed, was trying not to make it obvious but his eyes were on Lizzy as he spoke, almost appraising her. She was flattered by the attention, he was most amusing, not at all the kind of person she had expected to meet here.
He took his glasses off to clean them, and that was when Lizzy finally placed him. The figure from the photographs, the missing piece of the jigsaw…
"Richard Fitzwilliam," he spread his arms wide in introduction. "Long con artist, fixer, gambler, international lover and playboy, and finally, 2002 Edinburgh inter schools triple jump champion!"
Catherine's objections to his introductions were cut off by the sound of the door opening again. 'On his way', that's what Richard had said, she realised with a growing sense of dread. She was in Rosings Park with Lady Catherine De Bourgh, Richard Fitzwilliam had just shown up, so therefore…..
Surely not.
Surely life couldn't be this unfair.
"Ah, the man himself!" Richard exclaimed, looking at a point over her shoulder.
"Good evening, Aunt Catherine." a horribly familiar voice echoed around the room.
"Darling!" Catherine leapt up, rushing over to greet the new arrival.
She shut her eyes tight, grimacing in pain. God, life was a fucking bitch. Opened them to see Richard Fitzwilliam smirking at her for some reason. Took all her courage and willpower to stand up slowly and turn around to face the newcomer.
"Miss Bennet." he nodded as they made instant eye contact.
"Darcy."