Authors Note: I own nothing. No ownership rights to Beverly Hills 90210.

Chapter Forty-One:

When she walks down the stairs I can feel her mood has shifted, she has been playful and content all week. Like me she is thriving being in our home and us being together, properly as husband and wife. Any engagement with her parents is now more a resigned acceptance than a hurt. We had agreed to keep the door open for more we just wouldn't keep pushing or expecting, we will just keep hoping they will warm to us even if they at first are only pretending to keep up the image. Any contact, even a small amount could one day lead to a change of mind; my parents and I were evidence of that.

No, whatever has her mood shifted I don't think it has anything to do with our family drama, I think it has everything to do with the blonde who is walking down the stairs behind her.

"Mrs McKay you look incredible, though does your black singlet need to be see through?"

Her eyes fill with amusement, "sometimes you are the oldest eighteen year old I know, even older than Andrea. Sheer is in, just be lucky I'm wearing a bra- Joan isn't always known to do that."

It's an off the cuff under my breath remark said before I register how it sounds. "Yeah you wouldn't be leaving the house." Her eyes fill with outrage, I move to her and give her my most charming smile in apology. "You know because you're mine and I want to be the only one who see's you like that… crap, I'm going to get my ass kicked aren't I?"

"It depends, is it reciprocated?"

"Hell yeah, I couldn't think of anything worse than having anyone else touching me or their eye's on me, I only want you." Kelly who had been standing behind Bren begins to move past us to join the other's, "I'm all yours and only yours forever."

She leans up and kisses my lips, "okay caveman I'll not give you an ass kicking then. Though try and relax on the Neanderthal, I have never been someone who would wear a sheer see through top with nothing underneath; one summer in Paris has not made me that fashionable."

"I'm glad Beverly Hills or Paris haven't corrupted you."

"No, only you have had that honour."

When I know we are by ourselves in the foyer, and that Kelly has joined the others I lean down and look at her in the eyes and raise my brow. She immediately gets the question.

"Your parents were right." I close my eyes and breathe out my nose, she doesn't need this on top of her parents, me recovering from being sick, school, moving, it's a lot. Her forehead touches mine. "It's fine. Let's just go have a good time and we can discuss it later or never. I guess Leopards don't change their spots, as much as they pretend to, they really only camouflage them."

"I'm sorry."

"You did nothing to be sorry for, except maybe being too attractive and an incredibly romantic guy that makes women weak at the knees, and that is nothing to be apologetic about because I personally love you that way."

"Maybe I shouldn't have spent time with her over the summer, or planned your birthday party together."

"I asked you to spend time with her, and you told me everything that happened. It was all innocent."

"McKay's are you ready yet? I'm looking hot and there is a city or at least a party waiting to see me."

I groan, "he's been singing Hot In The City Tonight since he arrived. He only knows the chorus."

She giggle and lifts her forehead from mine, then yells over my shoulder, "yeah Steve this 80s Pop Star Ensemble is ready to Rock 'n' Roll."

He must jump up because his voice becomes too close very quickly, "awesome because I love Rock 'n' Roll."

My moan is loud, "kill me kill me now, if I have to sit through a night full of you referencing everyone."

"McKay relax I wouldn't do that, you're the boss." My eyes pivot to that blonde annoyance, he was making me hate agreeing to dressing up even as Bruce Springsteen. "Okay, my bad I forgot you and jokes are like a virgin touched for the very first time- it's a new experience."

Brandon does his best to control the blonde before I rip his head off. "Steve, man that is going to get old quickly try and cool it a little."

"Of course you are going to side with Grouchy-brother-in-law." He looks at Andrea who has embraced Debbie Gibson, Donna who looks like Cindy Lauper at her most eclectic, Kelly as Madonna, and lastly my wife as the ultra cool Joan Jett, "ladies shall we go. I can at least count on you girls just wanting to have fun."

My Dad is an asshole and is laughing next to my mum at this carry on, I give them traitor eyes. When I look at B he gives me his I tried my best face. I don't look at my wife, she actually finds this shit funny now- another reason to hate Jim, those two wouldn't be as good as friends if he hadn't kept me away.

In the car to the party I get away from the blonde's one liner's, and more importantly it gives my wife time to fill me in on what happened up stairs. "So after that you just went to choosing a top? Now it's confirmed I thought you would have had a more Emily Valentine bbq response."

"No, I don't want this becoming a big issue amongst our friends. You are already one bad joke away from killing Steve, let's not add me scratching her eyes out the next time I see her looking at you." She sighs, "it's pointless anyway. You would never had accepted her advances, and even if our summer had worked out very differently if we had lost our path and they were accepted it still wouldn't be then- it's not that point that it became a betrayal. It's when she even toyed with the idea and started to want to capture your eye, it tells me that she doesn't respect me, or her and my friendship. It's inconsequential to her, my feelings, my trust is irrelevant. She's obviously, never really valued me as a friend; I should have seen that from the start. She just wanted access to my life, my family, my stability, it wasn't about liking me as a person- you'd never even think about doing this to someone you were friends with that you liked." Her sigh has me taking my eyes off the road for a second, she is looking down and I can tell is hurt more than she wants to let on. "So much of sophomore year I spent trying to impress her and then to gain her as a real friend, but I guess I never did."

"I always thought her and B would be good together, that they just weren't ready yet. I can't imagine you'd be a fan of that happening now, and I can't say I'd be a fan."

Typical Bren, she tries to rationalise everyone's behaviour, even people who have hurt her. "She's seventeen, never been in serious love- well, from what she describes about her and Steve. Age and profound love can mature people. Maybe my brother could be that love that settle's her, brings out her best self, but I think it's obvious that my friendship with her will always be superficial. I'm not going to be trusting her to… well do anything really." I look over again and notice her play with her engagement ring, it means she's stressed; the ring soothes her. "If they do get together I'd be supportive because I love my twin and if she is what he wants then I'll be happy for him, but if she ever hurt him-"

"I'll make sure our lawyer is on speed dial if they ever do date. We can have an alibi all worked out for if you need to kill her."

She smiles at me, "no, no killing. Prison wouldn't agree with me, I can't sleep next to you in there. I'll just ask my father-in-law how to destroy her."

"I think Mum is better at that Social slaughter than Dad."

Throughout the party I make sure to keep myself far away from Kelly as possible, I keep my wife firmly in my arms. We dance, we have… well as much fun as I can at a party- they aren't my scene. I told her twenty minutes when we agreed to go but we stayed close to ninety. After saying our goodbyes we get to the car and I surprise her by passing her the keys.

"This a test to see if I still grind the gears?"

"No, I know you still do that; you really can't seem to find third. No I'm feeling tired."

She looks up at me in the poor light and sees the heaviness of my eyes. "Big week without much sleep, swimming with your Dad and then dancing tonight in a crowded stuffy room, yeah we may have been pushing you too hard this week old man."

I wrap my arms around her, "I love it when my nymph pushes me too hard. I blame the party, stupid cologne, perfume, cigarette smoke, and no windows open- shit I do sound old."

"Come on old man, let me take you home and put you to bed."

The two of them sleep late, well not teenager late but Jack and I meditate at 6am so anything after eight seems late to us. Neither Jack or I are surprised by their desire to be locked away. We are very thankful though that we live on different floors and on different sides of the house, it provides the comfort of knowing that we are close but not too close. Brenda comes down about nine-thirty without Dylan, it's not surprising for one to be without the other as Dylan is usually the first one down to have his much needed coffees in the morning. Though when he's not following a few minutes later or she doesn't make his coffee my motherly instinct kicks in.

"Everything alright sweetheart? Dylan's not coming down?"

"No, the party took it out of him. He's just going to sleep a little while longer."

"Should we call for a check up?"

"If your son was reasonable then yes. Unfortunately, he say's it's just that his energy hasn't bounced back. I don't think we have to worry, his peak flow is low but skims into the normal range. He just needs some rest and a lot of good healthy meals."

"He likes my spicy chicken, why don't I cook that for tonight and we can have a roasted vegetable salad?"

"I'm sure he will love that. When he wake's I'm going to try and make him drink a blended juice, see if I can get some vitamins into him."

"Before his coffee?"

"The try is very much the key word." As she finishes off her tea, she stands. "I should go back upstairs, I promised I wouldn't be too long and I don't want him to get out of bed to come find me."

"Before you go, how was last night?"

"The Party was, a party. They aren't really my thing anymore but it was okay. Kelly did confess; you were right to assume, she likes him more than appropriate of our friendship."

"I'm sorry Darling, it's horrible when you realise not everyone deserves the trust you have placed in them. Are you still okay to go this afternoon?"

"Of course, it's for a good cause and it's partially my idea I wouldn't want to abandon it, and anyway we are still friends, I just now know we are a different type."

When she goes back upstairs, I go outside to the garage where Jack is sanding the boat.

I fill him in on Dylan pushing himself too much and on Kelly.

"How's our girl?'

"Sad. Betrayal even betrayal that does not succeed is a tough pill to swallow."

"Unfortunately, it's a lesson as a McKay and in this family she needs to learn. Dylan understands that, he knows that only she has earned his complete trust. Brenda needs to feel the importance of that too, and that only comes from the experience. It will make her a better partner for Dylan, she'll understand him better and why he guard's certain thing's. Why like the rest of us we can walk away from things, even things we want and need. Self-protection should be our family motto and coat of arms."

"I was hoping that their generation of this family wouldn't have to-" he gives me the look, the look that tells me that it time to climb out of the clouds of positivity. It is a gentle look.

"When he starts to gain access to his inheritance from your family trust, when at twenty-five he can claim a seat on the trust board. When he realises the full wealth of it all, and when Brenda does- there will be very few people they'll be able to rely on, to know they are authentic. These year's are for them to learn that, survive it, so they are better equipped. You and I both had to go through it, more than anyone else and we-"

"We're destroyed by it. I ran away from it, rejected it all; sold t-shirts on the beach in hopes that without it I would no longer be cursed. You spiralled out of control."

"And look where we ended up my love, together with our family. We know exactly who we can trust and it's the people who reside inside this gated home. We know what makes us truly happy now and we know what we never want to lose again." He puts the sandpaper down inside the boat and then comes over and cups my cheeks. "I know I can never lose you again. I know that above everything I can't not have you by my side. I don't work without you, I can't be a good man or a good father without you." He leans in and kisses me, we peck a lot this is not a peck. This is love, heat, it is heart beating fast and breaths laboured.

It's my husband destroying all my zen and equilibrium that I have gained from years of meditation.