Fred could still taste the sick in his mouth from his throw up fest that morning.

He didn't recall drinking so much, but apparently, he had. The fire whisky was still working its way back up his oesophagus as he sat in McGonagall's office, staring at the portrait directly behind her desk as he tries not to throw up again. He just wished he could get rid of the pounding headache that was currently demolishing his skull.

The teacher had found him on his way to breakfast where he had been looking forward to consuming his own weight in coffee, telling him to head straight to her office. At first he thought she may have found out about their party last but when she didn't tell George to come alone too that's when he started to really worry.

He lifted up the collar of his shirt and sniffed, hoping it didn't smell like alcohol and he wished he had a clearer head that morning to at least shower and change his clothes.

At the sound of the door closing, he forces himself to sit straighter in the chair, his eyes following the elderly witch as she took a seat behind her desk.

"I trust you had a good birthday Mr Weasley."

He forces a smile. "Yes professor. It was…quiet."

She raises an eyebrow and Fred tries to make himself to look as innocent as possible despite the guilt that's now welling in his stomach.

"And I see that bruise of yours is healing nicely."

The sick makes an unexpected appearance in his throat and he forces himself to swallow hard.

"Walked into a door."

"I suppose Mr Phlegm walked into a door too."

The Scottish drawl seems to vibrate around the room, and Fred doesn't know how to answer. Out of all the teachers McGonagall was his favourite, and he didn't particularly like lying to her. But needs must.

"Suppose he did. Clumsy bunch us quidditch players."

She doesn't seem in the least bit convinced and Fred averts his gaze, folding his arms against his chest while she gives him the cold hard stare that always makes him start blabbing.

"Fred Weasley, if you don't tell me what happened I will have to make my own assumptions and be forced to write to your mother."

That'll do it.

He tightens his fists.

"He was being a prat."

"Unfortunately, that is not a sufficient enough reason for me."

Fred clenches his jaw as he stares at her, knowing he was in trouble regardless. "He was saying stuff to her….and I just – "

"To whom?"

How did she always make him feel like he was a first year again. "Lilith."

"Fred, as much as I understand your…fondness for Ms Lestrange. I don't think fighting every person that says anything to her is the right course of action. As admiral as your motives may appear to be."

"I suppose that's another detention then?" He says quietly and McGonagall lets out a small sigh.

"The other student hasn't come forward regarding the incident so as far as I'm concerned it didn't take place. But if I hear about, or for that matter, see you with one more bruise I will be writing to your parents and I will have to seriously consider more drastic action. Now will you promise me, no more fighting?"

He nods. "I promise."

"Very well. I will be taking ten points from Gryffindor however. For sheer stupidity."

When Fred enters the great hall he heads over to George, dropping down on the bench next to his brothers as his eyes scan the Slytherin table. She's not there.

"So?" George grumbles as he mixes the jam into his porridge.

"Wasn't about the party."

"Good. That last thing we needed was mum knowing about that."

Fred reaches over to grab the coffee and glances around the table, several of the sixth and seventh years are slumped over and looking rather dishevelled, he can't help but smirk.

"Where did you go last night? I don't remember seeing you after Jordan started showing everyone how to do the Macarena." George grumbles as he takes another bite of dry toast. "He was pretty good at it, actually."

"Cocking it up." He mumbles as scans again. No. She's definitely not there.

"You found her then?"

Fred nods.

"And?"

"Cocked. It. Up." He repeats slowly. He recalls storming away as the anger had flooded his chest, but it wasn't aimed at her. Thinking about it in the hard light of day he regretted every action from that night.

He can still picture her face when he had stopped. Fred was certain he could still feel her trembling under his touch and hear her words telling him to stop. Then the awful thought that occurred to him from the night before seems to rear its ugly head.

What is she thought he was going to do something to her?

He feels sick again.

He shouldn't have kissed her when he was in such a state.

When he feels the table shift he slowly raises his head and Lee places two tiny potions in front of them with a smirk on his face. "There you go. Hangover draught. Don't ask me how I got them. Should kick in straight away.

Fred picks up the tiny bottle and downs it, gagging slightly as the aftertaste of liquorice overwhelms his taste buds. Then again it could have tasted like Troll snot and he still would have taken it just to get rid of his throbbing headache.

"They've also posted the apparition time slots. I have to do mine with Lilith."

Fred glances over at him before forcing his eyes down to his toast.

"Did she show up last night, at all?" Lee asks, sounding slightly hopeful for his friend.

Fred sees George smirk as he drinks from his mug. "Fred went off looking for her."

"Well?"

"He cocked it up." George repeats with a smirk but Fred can't shake the guilty feeling. He hadn't told George about it. He knew he would end up getting smacked. His head hurt enough.

"I shouldn't have done it. I'm such a dick."

George and Lee exchange a sad look before his brother leans in. "I mean…she did kiss you mate."

"Not last night." He murmurs.

He thinks about her words, they seem to pound in his head.

"What about last night?" Lee asks with a slightly hopeful tone.

"Cocked it up." He repeats.

Fred had now taken to avoiding her at every possible opportunity, in fact he was now into his fourth detention with Snape for missing a week's worth of potion lessons because the idea of having to face her made him feel sick to the core. He couldn't shake the overwhelming feeling of guilt that was heavy in his chest every time he saw her, but he found avoiding her was become next to impossible.

Out of desperation he had started hanging down by the black lake, it seemed to be the only place devoid of students where he could be alone. He would make notes for his and George's business, sometimes study if the mood took him, which was rare. Mostly he would throw things into the water at top speed and watch the giant squid catch them with expertise.

That day he was skimming rocks on the water when he could almost feel the presence behind him, and sure enough when he turned she was stood there, book at her side and he felt the shame heavy in his stomach again. He hadn't expected her to come looking for him.

"You know you can't avoid me forever, right?"

He turns his back to her, continuing to skip rocks against the water. "How'd you know where I was?"

"I tortured George for information."

He smirks slightly but he doesn't let her see it. As the stone plunges into the water he decides he's going to come up with a way to get back at George later and he picks up another rock.

"Is this about what I said?" She says quietly and he stops himself mid throw. "Because – I didn't mean it in that way Fred."

He tries to remember her words exactly, but its slightly hazy. He forces himself to turn to her then, stone still clenched in his fist. "It's not about what you said."

She seems to let out the breath she's holding. "Ok, that's good. I suppose. Well, are you going to tell me?"

Fred's eyes catch hers and he can't seem to look away. The guilt is heavy in his chest and he wasn't sure where he was meant to go from here. As she clutches the book against herself, he suddenly gets that overwhelming feeling again.

"It's nothing. You wanted me to leave you alone, so I am."

"Fred I never said - "

"Thought you would be happy about it."

He feels like a dickhead as soon as he says it but what else was he meant to do? The more he thought about it the more he realised he kept pushing himself on her and that he was practically forcing her to like him. He bends down and picks another rock up from the ground facing out towards the lake again. At least this way he didn't have to look at her.

"Fine then." Fred's certain he can hear the hurt in her voice hidden beneath the anger. "I'll ask Snape for a new potions partner, so you don't have to worry about it anymore."

"He wouldn't switch us anyway." Fred mumbles, feeling shittier by the second.

"Well stop skipping potions then because everyone thinks it's my sodding fault!"

It hadn't even occurred to him that people would think that. As she starts to walk away he can't keep himself quiet. "Lil – "

"What!"

As she turns to him full of rage his conscious is strangling him as he looks at her. He can't seem to hold it in anymore.

"I shouldn't have done it. I keep thinking about…about the yule ball and that arsehole fudge and…..I don't know exactly know what he did - but on my birthday…fuck I shouldn't have fucking done it."

He can see her holding in a breath. She glances round the grounds and takes a few tentative steps towards him so she's an arm reach away.

"That's why you haven't been talking to me?" Fred can hear the shake in her voice and it forces him to swallow hard.

"I wouldn't do anything to hurt you. But I remember the other night, I felt you shake and – when I thought about it later, I realised that I really fucked up. I was like that fucking arsehole."

She stares at him for a moment, her teeth digging into her bottom lip. His words seems to hang in the air and for a moment he considers walking into the lake and letting the giant squid eat him. Her next words take him by surprise.

"Can you show me?"

Fred blinks. "Show you what?"

"How to do that, skip rocks. Can you show me?"

He looks down at the rock in his hand and back to her with utter confusion. "Seriously?"

As she nods he doesn't have a clue what's going on, but he holds the rock for her which she accepts and she places her book on the floor.

"So, do I just throw it?"

He's not quite sure what's happening as he looks at her, but he was going to play along. It was better than talking about what a fuck up he was.

"There's a little more finesse to it actually." He bends down and searches through the stones until he finds a smooth one. "Hold it with your thumb and middle finger, index finger along the edge. Throw."

He demonstrates and the stone skips along the water before finally dropping deep under the surface. When she throws hers it drops into the water with a plop.

"Well, that was awful." She sighs as she leans down and looks for her next victim.

"Flat and smooth." He says quietly as he bends down too.

"Who taught you how to do this?"

"My dad." He says quietly as he stands straight. "There's a lake near the burrow. We would go there during the summer and have competitions. I'm currently reigning champion." He says the last part rather proudly and he sees her smile as she stands up.

"What's the burrow?"

"Our house. We have chickens and a pig that I wanted to call Percy, but my mum wouldn't let me."

She lets out a small laugh then. He's still not sure what she's playing at but the anxiety he felt about being around her suddenly washes away.

"It sounds nice." She says softly.

"Yeah, I miss it." He looks over to her but she's staring out into the water. "Do you miss Malfoy Manor?"

She scoffs. "No. Every weekend feels like they are trying to sell me off to the highest bidder. I dread going back there."

Lilith throws the rock and again it lands into the water with a thud.

"I heard about you and Angelina. Sorry."

He shrugs. "It didn't have anything to do with you." It was a white lie at best.

"I remember watching you and Angelina at the Yule ball. Kept hoping she would trip over her dress or something."

"If it helps I kept imagining him being impaled on one of the ice sculptures."

She laughs then, deep from her stomach and Fred can't help but look over and smile. But he can't help the shame that floods back, and she must realise because the laughter stops and her smile fades.

"You know, before the yule ball Ambrose kept writing to me to asking me to go and I kept saying no. I even told my aunt I was going to go with you. I told her you were lovely. Albeit a bit persistent but…more in a self-assured way than anything." She says it with a smile and Fred allows himself to smile too. "But that didn't turn out how I planned."

She throws the rock, and it skips once across the water. There's a drawn out silence as they both stare out into the black lake.

"You know he kissed me. Just went straight for it and straight away I told him no. He didn't like hearing that." She forces herself to stop for a moment, like she doesn't want to recall it. "Luckily I had my wand I suppose."

Fred wets his lips as he looks down at her. "But I still – Lil the other night when I kissed you – "

"You were building up to it. I knew exactly what you were going to do. I could have stopped it before it even got to that point and when I asked you to stop you did. That's all that matters. You didn't do anything that I didn't want you to do."

He can very clearly remember her pressed up against the wall, his lips skimming over skin, her body trembling slightly as his mouth pressed against her throat. At the time in his drunken faze he had mistaken it for fear, but now staring at her he realises what it has meant.

He was such a fucking idiot.

"You were right. I did like it. I just shouldn't have."

Fred clenches the stone in his fist. His breath catches in his throat.

"What is it Fred?"

He takes a step towards her, mustering as much courage as he can. He wants to kiss her again. He wants to taste her lips. Hear her moan. Feel her fingers grasp at him eagerly like they had that morning in the corridor.

"It's ok that you liked it Lil. It doesn't make you a bad person."

"but Xander – "

"It doesn't make you a bad person." He echoes. He knows she's probably been beating herself up about it since it happened. He had thought about that kiss every day since. Several times a day. Imagined every possible scenario that it could have led to. He wonders if she had to. By the look on her face he realised she probably had.

"Do you like him?"

"I like him."

"No Lil. Do you like him."

Her response is delayed. Like she's trying to think of a good enough lie. But she doesn't.

"I don't feelit with him. I try. He kisses me but I just don't…feel it."

Fred knew exactly what she meant.

He wants to kiss her again. He wants to taste her lips. Hear her moan. Feel her fingers grasp at him eagerly like they had that morning in the corridor.

But he realises he wants to do it properly.

"Will you go on a date with me?" He hears himself ask.

"A date?"

"Yeah." He smiles as he sees her face light up. "A proper Fred Weasley date. No wizard chess or me punching anyone in the face."

"How is it a proper Fred Weasley date if you don't punch anyone. ?"

He smirks down at her. She had a point.

"Just one little thing before I say yes."

He starts to open his mouth but she brings a finger up to silence him.

"Before I maybe, say yes."

"What's that?"

Her voice is hoarse.

"I need to dump my boyfriend first."