Two hours later, Olivia was just starting to enjoy the silence of Fitz-free parenting (and wondering if she could hire a babysitter exclusively for co-parenting days) when her phone buzzed. It was a text from Fitz.

Fitz: "Ellie and I are having a great time. Don't freak out."

Olivia blinked at her phone. She immediately started freaking out. A "don't freak out" text from Fitz was like someone saying, Don't worry about that giant smoke cloud in the distance.

She dialed him without hesitation. He picked up on the second ring.

"Relax, Liv," he said in his usual breezy tone, the sound of children screaming in the background. "Everything's totally fine."

"Totally fine?" Olivia snapped. "Then why are you texting me not to freak out? Where are you?"

"Uh…" Fitz hesitated, which was never a good sign. "We're at the park, obviously."

"Which park, Fitz? There are three in our neighborhood."

"The one with the ducks. Ellie wanted to see them."

"Are you feeding the ducks?" Olivia asked, already dreading his answer.

There was a pause. Then, Fitz said, "Technically, Ellie's feeding them. And by 'feeding,' I mean she's trying to throw an entire sandwich at one of them. It's… ambitious."

"Oh my god, Fitz, you can't let her throw food at ducks! That's how you start Duck Uprisings."

"Relax, she missed," Fitz said. "Mostly. The duck seemed cool with it."

"Seemed cool—Fitz, I swear to everything holy, if you let her get attacked by birds, I will never forgive you."

"Liv, do you honestly think I'd let our child get mauled by ducks? C'mon, I'm not an idiot."

"Debatable," she muttered.

"Hey, I heard that," Fitz said. "But seriously, don't worry. She's safe, she's laughing, and—oh, wait, hang on."

Olivia froze. "Hang on? Hang on for what?"

"Ellie just climbed onto a picnic table," Fitz said casually. "I'm getting her down. One sec."

"Fitz!" Olivia yelled, her voice going up several octaves. "Why are you letting her climb picnic tables?! She's two!"

"She's got great balance," Fitz replied, clearly unbothered.

"You're unbelievable," Olivia snapped.

"I know," Fitz said. She could practically hear the grin in his voice. "It's why you fell for me, remember?"

"Do not bring my terrible decision-making into this," she hissed.

Fitz chuckled. "Relax, Liv. I've got this under control. Anyway, gotta go. Ellie's making friends with a kid who's trying to eat dirt, and I feel like it's a teachable moment. Later!"

Before Olivia could respond, he hung up.

She stared at her phone, resisting the urge to throw it across the room. This man was going to drive her insane. She was sure of it.

A few hours later, Fitz returned, looking smug as usual, with a surprisingly dirt-free Ellie in tow.

"See?" he said as Olivia opened the door. "Told you I'd bring her back in one piece. No ducks were harmed. You can stop worrying now."

Olivia crossed her arms. "Oh, great. Father of the year over here. I guess I'll just ignore the part where you taught her to climb public furniture and hang out with feral toddlers."

"First of all, that kid wasn't feral. He was just adventurous," Fitz said, setting Ellie down. "Second, I'm giving Ellie life skills. You're welcome."

"Life skills?" Olivia repeated, incredulous.

"Yeah, like improvisation and surviving unpredictable situations," Fitz said. "You know, the stuff you can't learn from your precious parenting books."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize turning her into a tiny Evel Knievel was part of your plan," Olivia shot back.

Fitz grinned. "She's got my genes. She'll be fine. Speaking of which, I'm starving. Got anything to eat?"

Olivia stared at him for a long moment before shoving a granola bar into his hand. "You're lucky I haven't set you on fire."

"Yeah, but you'd miss me," Fitz said with a wink.

And damn it, he wasn't entirely wrong.

Guys, I'm not good at writing, I just love Olivia and Fitz so I wanted to write my own version of them! Btw, I DO NOT OWN THESE CHARACTERS!