Dr. Who : "To Forgive..."

Summary: On her (hopefully) redemption arc, Blissy meets her first challenge.

"On the Road Again..." Part XIV...

…

"An interesting conclusion…" Zoa noted. "But one I can agree with." Eyeing Blissy standing by a worried Mila.

The Universe? Destroyed then willed back into existence?

Sounds dangerously and too familiarly like a failed scheme of…

"So not quite so esoteric now…" Blissy eyed Zoa. "And the reason I was sent here? To confirm this?"

"Yes, largely." Zoa nodded.

"Well…Then, the best answer I can give is that I think so."

"You always were a genius at temporal mechanics, dear." Zoa smiled.

"Thanks. But…" pause.

Mila closing eyes…No.

:"I've only a bit…A small, floating bit of memory…" Blissy sighed. "I can't be sure."

"And you've met the Fifteen Doctor…" Zoa, carefully. "And we believe he is associated with the restoration."

Mila perking up…The Doctor? And some enemy? Not…Perhaps not…?

"I think so…" Blissy noted. "But Rassilon guessed that…"

"Rassilon's rather good at temporal mechanics too." Zoa nodded. "So, in seeking old Gallifrey, we need confirmation and understanding of what actually happened."

"Koschei created a false Gallifrey to fool the Doctor." Mila began. "We were attacked and withdrew."

"That's what the Restoration set as the most stable reality." Zoa eyed her.

"But the Doctor triggered the Restoration and so is outside of it." Blissy nodded. "Or, at least is aware…"

"Well, surely we should just…" Mila began.

"He wouldn't answer, would he?" Blissy eyed Zoa. "He feared to tell you as it might have consequences." Winsome smile.

"And of course he wished to protect me. As he always does, no matter how furious or disappointed he is with me."

"Koschei…?" Mila, anxiously.

"But, I swear I don't…It's like fragments of a dream, shattered bits." Blissy sighed.

"We need to know, Koschei." Zoa, gently. "Before we try to locate old Gallifrey, we need to be sure what happened and how it happened. I have some of the observational data but…"

"I have the rest…In me…In my mind. Lost among my memories." Blissy nodded.

"We think so. But we must be careful…" Zoa cautioned. "Others must not know. For your sake as well as Gallifrey's."

"So…You believed. Buried in me, in my mind, in the fragments of memory are the tracings of what happened before and during those temporal pulses. The missing pieces, the fragments to finish the temporal puzzle." Blissy noted. "And the safest place to extract them, where they'd be least easy to detect, would be here, in temporal pulse city. Where such things wouldn't stand out." She smiled wanly.

"Something like that." Zoa nodded. "Are you willing to let me? It will involve deep probing and isolation of the necessary fragment, memory bound in time crystal. Then, removal and study, if we succeed."

"Zoa? Could this be dangerous?" Mila, urgently.

"It could trigger a memory cascade…All my past hurling in on me." Blissy eyed Zoa. "The past I try to wall off…At least enough to keep it from swamping me."

"Yes. I can't and won't deceive you. There is that danger. Plus we believe there are real time eddies in the crystal fragments, bound up with your memories when what happened, happened." Zoa explained. "Those may have effects on you, we can't fathom. Affect your temporal position. Even distort your reality."

"Drive me mad, again?" Blissy eyed her.

"No." Mila,firmly. "No, I can't allow that. Old Gallifrey is safe as it is. Zoa, we can't take that risk. Not now. Not when we have…My daughter…Back, at last." She eyed Blissy.

"Mama. I'm willing to try." Blissy, quietly. "It's one more way for me to atone. And perhaps it is time for me to face my past, fully."

"How can you atone if you go insane, again, Koschei?!" Mila, shaking head. "Zoa? This is your niece, you know how she's suffered…"

"Not as much as I made others suffer, Mama." Quietly.

"You know your auntie wouldn't want to do this…It's only that I feel there's no other way that I suggest it." Zoa sighed. "I will do all I can to protect you during the probe. But think it over tonight. I'll need to set up and shield this lab as we can't risk going to my Tardis. Too many eyes watching, including the Papal Mainframe."

"It's fine, Mama." Blissy shrugged to Mila who shook head. "But thank you…" smile, pressing hand. Turning to Zoa.

"I'll want Mama safe on your Tardis. And if anything happens with me, Mama. You just call the Doctor. He'll see to me." Blissy urged.

"Chase you across the Universe again? Or you chase him, unleashing more suffering, more madness?" Mila, reddening and teary now. Blissy coming to her, taking hand.

"Oh, why…Why did you make me care?!" she sighed, trembling.

"Forgive me, Mama. But I will try to hang on." Blissy, pleading now. "Bill will help me. I will try to be strong enough. But you know…You remember what I asked…" she eyed Mila. "And you can do it, from the Tardis, if…" she paused. "You can keep me safe, from the Master and Missy…Though really, at the very end, Missy wasn't so terrible." Wan smile. "Please, Mama. Father would want this for me. If I can't hang on."

"Koschei…My Koschei…" Mila, tears running. Hugging Blissy.

"Zoa." She turned to look at Zoa. "If you cost me my child again. If I must…" she paused. "I won't forgive you. But…" she turned back to Blissy. "My daughter is strong…And this time she is not alone, facing the horror alone. You can do this, Koschei. You will." Proudly. "And prove your father right."

"I hope so, too Mila." Zoa nodded. "Well, I should set to work. We'll do the probe tomorrow, under the guise of more study of tracings."

"Can we help?" Blissy asked.

"No, it won't take that long. You and your mother should go enjoy yourselves. How's about I meet you, at dinner, say seven.? There's a little place that prides itself on offering food the Doctor would love, including something called fish fingers and custard?" Zoa noted, with a shrug at end.

…

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