SECRET AFFAIRS - PART 3
The next morning they both got up quietly. Levi looked Zelda's way, his face held his characteristic serious expression, but his eyes were quietly searching hers. Seeing him looking her way, Zelda caught his gaze and after pausing then biting the corner of her lip, she gave him a hesitant smile. With the cold of the night gone, she quickly slipped her clothes back on, Turning from him, a sudden sense of of humility caused her to shy away while she hurriedly re-dressed and covered herself up.
Once done, Levi walked wordlessly over to her. Standing over her, he averted his eyes and looked off to the side while holding out a hand and offering it to her. Momentarily uncertain, Zelda paused before reaching her own hand out and placing it into his. She allowed him to effortlessly pull her up to her feet.
Hauled to her feet, Zelda stumbled just a bit and before he knew it, Levi found her caught in his arms and starting directly into his face. He noted the small tint of color that rose on her cheeks and he cast his eyes to the side to mask his own uncomfortableness. From the corner of his eyes, he could see her blink and drop her head downwards. Bringing his eyes to rest on her once again, without thought, he leaned forward and quickly kissed her mouth. It wasn't long or lingering just a quick kiss and then he straightened back up, his eyes on her face.
She looked up at him through her lowered lashes.
"So last night…". He began.
"Is done and over," She interrupted. "Everything that went on is done with now, and there's no need to linger on it, or discuss it further. Especially at the present moment- Today our focus is on survival, right?" Her face was serious and she looked at him earnestly.
He studied her face momentarily and then gave a slight nod of his head in assent. Carefully the two of them walked toward the open balcony area to check for any sign of the scout brigade. After staying there and discreetly scoping the far off horizon for any traces, they turned to head to the other side to try their luck and look for any signs of Levi's team. However, as they turned, Zelda shot out a hand and touched Levi's. It was just barely a graze, but it sent a shock up the nerves of his arm and he quickly stepped back from her, his mind momentarily in disarray.
Recovering himself, he gave her a quizzical look and then slightly raised his shoulders as if to say "What is it?" Zelda used her eyes to gesture towards the window they had just turned away from. The one that was now filled with a vision of slowly sauntering and rambling titans that had only recently emerged.
Grabbing the waistband of his pants and using it to pull them together, Zelda timidly put her ear to his mouth, whispering lowly, "I heard something, and I think it's them." Levi looked at her baffled, stilling himself and listening hard for whatever sounds she may have heard. After a moment or two, he frowned. "Why do you say that? I can't hear anything remotely like that. They would have quite a few horses. We would hear something if that was indeed them, and they're more likely to wait till nightfall anyways.."
Zelda huffed. "We do hear something," She threw her hands on her hips, and looked ferociously up at him. "Or at least, I do!" She paused again, her focus obviously somewhere else. "Yeah, it's definitely horses. They're closer than before, however now it sounds like there's less than before also…..Could I have gotten it wrong? I wonder what that means?"
Levi knew. If she was correct about what she was hearing, then it meant that dragging them through this forest to find him and Zelda was getting his soldiers killed.
He looked steadily at her. "Are you certain?" He wanted to ask her how she could be so sure, but the look on her face as she replied, "I am" and then turned away to swiftly began collecting their items, was enough to instill full confidence within him and clamp his mouth tightly shut.
Still hearing nothing, but putting full faith into her, Levi swiftly put on his ODM gear and secured their rations to his body. Pulling his cloak around Zelda's shoulders, he clasped it securely and then grasped her hand. Holding it firmly, he pulled her along behind him, as he quietly made his way towards the frontal door to the church.
Peeking carefully through the window he could see that the nearest titan seemed to be about 15 yards away. He could only say "seems" as experience had taught him it was safest to just assume that there was a titan around every corner, whether he could see them or not. He furrowed his brow as he surveyed the tree line, seeing no movement or anything indicating the approach of horses or men.
The faint traces of doubt were just beginning to take shape, when he heard them. Technically he saw it first. Subtle though it was- a small shift in a tree top a ways back. Easy enough to miss or to mistake for a strong breeze, but his eyes were canny enough to notice those details, and the minor movement stuck out like a sore thumb for him. Something was moving in that forest. It was only a moment later when he could hear it. Faint at first, but it was there, a light but steady thrumming. First carried lightly in the air, and then with a small added tremor in the ground as the sound grew steadily louder and then closer.
It was still nearly a minute before the first horse came barreling through the line of trees. Levi had already been looking around, trying to locate any other nearby titans who may have heard the noises and were preparing to pounce. Having seen none, he'd remained hidden away, hopeful that this could be a simple evac mission. If he could get a horse, he could easily dispose of the wandering titan that he'd seen. The only concern was how many more there were that he hadn't seen.
He didn't wonder for very long. As more scouts on horses came pouring out of the forest, a titan came leaping towards them, sprawling out across the field and attempting to scoop multiple scouts up with its mouth in the process.
"Shit." Levi muttered. That was one that he hadn't seen and he had no doubt that many more were in the vicinity. The loud ruckus the first had caused was sure to alert the others and bring them all running. So much for staying here and waiting, it wouldn't remain an option for long.
Once the titans realized that humans were in the area, they would start actively trying to seek them out, and this single-entrance church that he and Zelda were in, would become a death trap for the two of them. Levi inhaled deeply. He didn't want to do it, but his gut told him that they had a much higher chance of survival if they got the hell out of here and did it now.
He turned to look at Zelda and she was looking at him with a pensive expression on her face, but her body was tense and poised as if she could take off at any second. It crossed his mind that she was already aware of what they needed to do. She was just waiting for him to give the command.
Lifting it up, he squeezed her hand tightly and gave a sharp nod. "On my count, we run." Levi looked quickly back out to the scene outside. It was quickly becoming a bloodbath. "Don't run towards the scouts, we're going to make a wide 'u' towards the side of it, follow me closely." He didn't turn back to look at her. He felt a small movement behind him and knew that it was her showing her understanding.
Levi watched carefully. The timing would be crucial for this, he had to time it right, keeping her speed and abilities in consideration. He couldn't afford to miscount anything.
"Okay, on three. One… two….. three!"
He took off outside and hugging the wall of the church closely, he ran next to it, surprised to find that even with her limited footwear Zelda kept up with him remarkably well. He hated to do it, but since she was so quick and sure-footed, he sped them up. Taking a quick turn he pulled her along and around the open area where the scouts had dispersed. As he did so, he yanked his arm, signaling her to keep moving forward as he slowed himself.
"Keep going that direction, I'll be right behind you!" He yelled, turning quickly to ensure that nothing was lurking by the side of the building waiting to blindside them. He was immediately grateful that he had, because right as Zelda cleared the end of the church building an enormous Titan hand shot out towards the path she was on. It came at her surprisingly quick, but Levi was quicker. Shooting his ODM gear up, he spun and in a matter of seconds had sliced the monster's fingers off. As it twisted and floundered around, he used the gear to grapple himself to its back and then take it down with a well-placed slice to the neck.
As it began to fall, Levi jumped town and sprinted to catch up to Zelda. If she had seen or heard the commotion between him and the titan behind her, she hadn't let it stop her. She continued running in the direction he'd told her to. Catching up, he grabbed her hand again and then tugged her in a wide arc to pull them back towards the forest.
Suddenly he could hear the sound of horse hooves pounding near him. 'Sounds like multiple horses'. Levi didn't stop running, but he looked over and was grateful to see Jean, galloping at top speed and pulling along another second horse with him.
"Captain!"
"Jean- Glad to see you." Slowing only a bit, Levi reached out and grabbed the rein.
"I've got it from here Jean, thanks." Levi saw Jean give a strange and puzzled glance over at Zelda, but he was a soldier and smart enough not to stop on a battlefield to ask questions or worry about things that didn't pertain to the battle itself.
Leaping onto the horse, Levi instantly reached down and grabbed Zelda's hand again, hauling her up behind him. She held tightly, but Levi respected her battle aptitude. Instead of wrapping her arms around his waist as most would have, and thereby preventing him from having quick access to his gear, she intentionally wrapped her arms up and around his shoulders. Holding them so as not to impede his movements but making sure to allow him easy access should he need to quickly grab his gear.
Galloping towards the forest, Levi yelled back to her, "You ride?"
"Yeah!" Her mouth was near his ear and he could hear her clearly as well as feel the warmth of her breath battling against the cold wind breezing past him. It sent a chill through his body.
"Okay, if I have to get off to get into the air, can you handle the horse?" As soon as the question was out of his mouth, he regretted it. He hadn't actually meant to ask. He felt sure that she could handle it. He knew she wasn't one of his soldiers, but he also had come to realize that she was extremely competent. She could handle it and he didn't want to waste time and extra words asking questions that he was already sure of.
Zelda wasn't bothered by it though. He felt her chin press against his back as she nodded against him. "I've got it, don't worry."
With a nod of his own, Levi kicked the horse into a faster pace, deftly weaving through the trees and working to avoid the multiple titans that were now giving chase or lurking within them. Suddenly he stood up in the stirrups and then up onto the saddle. He gave one quick look at Zelda and she stared back with fire in her eyes.
"Do what you need to. Help your team, it'll be fine." She reached out to grab the reins as she spoke.
Levi used his ODM and shot off into the trees, wanting to look back but knowing that if he wanted to survive and to help his team to as well, he needed to stay focused on the task that was in front of him.
Flying effortlessly through the air and between the trees, Levi swung around, spearing the nearest Titan in the back, and grappling up to land on its shoulder. With a single, fierce swing he took it down, taking off before it could hit the ground and shooting off at neck breaking speeds to assist the soldiers in the other area of the forest.
From the corner of his eyes he could see Zelda rearing back on the horse and taking off through the trees, following closely behind him. She rode well - confidently and with assurance and he found himself impressed at the brief sight.
Suddenly a titan came storming around a tree. 'Shit.' He'd been so caught in his thoughts of her that he'd momentarily lost his focus and allowed his concentration to slip. The 10 meter titan came running clumsily around the tree, grabbing out towards him. Levi adeptly avoided the hand, while taking a glance down to confirm Zelda's status in the proximity of the titan. She hadn't been this close to one since the other day, and he knew from experience that the shock from the other day wouldn't have worn off yet. Coming this close to another one again so soon, could pose a problem.
As he landed at an angle against the tree and prepared to launch off and grapple onto the offending titan, he stole a look down to check on her. She was reigning the horse in, but the look on her face was of a person stricken with fear. 'Is she going to choke up? If she does, she's done for. If it catches sight of her, I can get to it and stop it before it can grab her and pull her to its mouth, but she's too far under it and at this rate it's going to stomp right on top of her and I won't be able to do anything about that.' His eyes darted around the area, his brain trying to calculate all possible actions and outcomes.
As he shot his ODM gear into the titan's neck and began swinging over to it, he looked down. Zelda had broken herself from her trance and she now held a determined look on her face. As he landed on the titan's back, Levi could see her, pull at the horse and force it into a sharp turn out of the path of the titan's impending footfall.
Levi brought his weapon down hard into the back of the titan's neck, the swing encompassing all of the emotions that had just ran their way through him. With a loud grunt, he pulled it ferociously through, angered at the threat the titan had posed. As he shot back up to another tree branch he surveyed the area and found no others in the vicinity. Hearing the sound of hooves he looked over to see Zelda, her head down, pushing her horse at top speed through the edge of the forest where the yells and screams of the other soldiers were now coming from. 'What is she doing? She knows there's nothing she can do, so why on earth is she running towards the trouble?'
Almost as if she could hear his thoughts, he watched as her head jerked quickly back and spotted him above her. Immediately slowing her horse down just a bit, she called out to him.
"Levi! I think they need you out there! Come on!"
She turned her head away, but slowed further, just enough that he could speed ahead and get down ahead of the horse. She stopped just in front of him, but only for a moment. Only the time that was needed for him to hop on behind her and for them to once again pick up the speed to gallop full throttle towards the clearing.
Riding behind her, he lost some of the ease of access to his weaponry, but Levi had to admit that he kind of liked this positioning as well. He'd seen her ride and he knew she was skilled. Without having to worry about controlling the horse he could put his full attention to his surroundings and was in a much better position of preparation to protect them in case there were any other titans still hiding in this wooded area.
As they burst out into the open field at full speed, Levi saw one final remaining titan. Jean had just finished cutting it's Achilles and the titan was in the process of falling down arms outstretched in front of them.
"Left! Hard!" Levi shouted the command as he watched the towering titan drop towards them. Without hesitation Zelda immediately pulled the horse to the left, yanking it without question on Levi's orders. As she swerved and avoided the crashing titan, Levi jumped from the horse and then began to swing out to the descending titan.
However as the titan fell it skidded across the ground, bumping roughly over the terrain and kicking up large rocks and debris all around it. The sudden assault of this blinded and rained over Levi forcing him to let go of the titan and drop to the ground as he was hit with multiple projectiles. From a distance he could hear his name being screamed out has he fell to the dirt and rolled to a painful stop, the dust and dirt still swirling thickly in the air around him.
Groggily he could just make out the titan. It had come to a stop, but in the ruckus, one of Hanje's men appeared to have been pinned down in front of it. The titan couldn't get up, but it was struggling to pull itself towards him - reaching out desperately to grab the man. On top of the titan, Levi could see a scout, but they appeared to be dead. Their ODM was pierced into the titan's neck, but the scout dangled unmoving. Forcing himself unsteadily to his knees Levi tried to stand. He wasn't sure that he could get there in time to stop the titan before it grabbed the other soldier, but he didn't see any other scouts that could stop it.
As he got to his feet and aimed his ODM towards the titan, Levi could hear the soldiers ear-piercing screams as the titan reached him, it's fingers grasping and reaching to wrap around him. It was only a matter of seconds before it had him in it's mouth. 'I can't make it in time.' He had the thought as he had just begun to take off, his ODM steadily pulling him towards the titan, but too slowly to make a difference.
It was at that exact same moment that he'd finally noticed another figure standing at the titan's neck, raising a blade high over their head. They hadn't caught his attention before because they weren't wearing any uniform and were otherwise unnoticeable. 'Zelda?'
She had pulled a blade from the unmoving scout that was already there, and as Levi watched, she swung it down once, hard at the Titan's neck. It was just as he'd taught her and her aim was precise and perfect. Unfortunately, it wasn't strong enough. He was taking off, but he yelled out to her. "Again! Do it again!"
Once more she didn't hesitate. He saw her brow furrow with effort as she pulled the blade out of the titan's neck, but with swift and decisive action she brought it back down again in the exact same spot, and this time with the wound that she had already inflicted the first time, it was deep enough to sever the cord, and as Levi approached for his landing, he saw the titan's head drop, and it's movements stop - the scout still clutched tightly in it's hand, but not yet chewed upon.
Levi landed and quickly surveyed the scene. Jean was the scout who was laid near the titan. He wasn't dead, just unconscious. He could see a large wound on his head. 'He must have been hit by something from the debris as well.' Zelda had climbed up the fallen titan, pulled Jean's gear from his equipment, then taken it upon herself to try to stop it.
As Levi looked at her. She stood there, starting blankly, the blade still held tightly in her hand, her body shaking lightly. Quickly Levi did a 360 assessing the rest of the situation. The other scouts were closing in- it seemed that the rest of the titans had all been disposed of already and the area was clear. Feeling secure about it all, Levi stepped swiftly over to her. She didn't blink or look over at him.
Slowly he reached out and gently grasped the hand that held the blade. She offered no resistance to his touch, but her hand didn't release the blade either.
"Zelda. It's okay. You did it. It's dead. You can let go now."
She didn't move, but Levi waited. Gripping her hand and staring solidly into her face, waiting for his words to register with her. Finally, she blinked and he saw recognition slowly fill her soft brown eyes. She blinked again and then fixed them upon him. He nodded at her and she swallowed hard and then nodded back. Her fingers slowly opened and Levi gently took the gear from her hand. He walked it over and placed it back into Jean's belt, stopping to double-check on his status. He then turned to Connie who had climbed up and was staring around puzzled and trying to understand what had transpired.
"He's just unconscious. Get him down and on a horse with you. Have Hanje take a look at him, will you?"
Still obviously confused, Connie gave a slow nod, the puzzled look still on his face as his eyes shifted back and forth between Jean, Levi, and Zelda, but he moved on doing exactly what Levi said without any words.
Levi then turned back to Zelda who was still standing in place, her hand that he'd taken the gear from, shaking uncontrollably. With a deep breath, he walked over to her and tightly gripped her hand. She immediately turned her head to him, and he could see that they were filled with fear and tears.
He met her eyes and stared straight-faced at her. "It's okay to be scared if that's how you feel. But you don't have to be. You did good. There's a scout down there that's only alive because of you. You did what needed to be done and you should be proud."
Levi swallowed and looked away. "I know I am." He said it quietly, a red flush creeping up his neck.
He looked back towards her and she was blinking back her tears, but the fear seemed to be receding. 'Well, fuck it.' Levi reached out and pulled her into a tight embrace. Hugging her body tightly to his and trying to quell the remaining shaking from her body. The soldiers would see and they would likely have lots to say, but why should he give a fuck? Wrapping one arm snugly around her waist and pulling her firmly against him, he took the other and put it against the back of her head, pulling it down against his shoulder and holding it there until he finally felt the tension release from her body. She let out a long, ragged sigh and he felt her hands raise up and come to rest on his upper back, clinging loosely to his jacket.
~0~0~0~
That night was lively and rather festive for the situation. While typically they would camp out for the night while the titans calmed down, this night fortune had been on their side and they had found an abandoned village – likely courtesy of another wave of titans well before them. While not much of it still stood, they were able to find a small building that would suffice to keep them for the night. It had a few different rooms that could be used for sleeping quarters.
As they piled in for the night, an atmosphere of sorrow for their fallen comrades lingered in the air. And even though they had ended up making some important discoveries from it all, Levi couldn't help the weight of guilt that he felt upon his shoulders for his part in it.
The mood ran low until Connie stepped forward with a drink in his hand. "A toast to our friends and their sacrifices. And the gains that those sacrifices will help us achieve. We won't mourn tonight, instead let's celebrate them as we rise tomorrow and continue to honor them as we move forward in search of an end to all of this!" His eyes circled the group in the room, but in the end they landed on Levi and stayed there.
The soldiers gave a low rousing of cheers as they each shouted out a response, yelling out praise and a toast to each of their dead friends. The drinks began to flow and the atmosphere slowly lightened. Levi was grateful for this. The solemness had been much too heavy for him.
Turning away from the drinking, Levi looked to find Zelda. After things had calmed, the squad had rushed her, shocked to hear of her story of survival after they'd come across the remnants of her town. Their enamor with her obviously growing after having seen her final stand on the battlefield.
He thought back to earlier: As soon as the others had reached them, he'd promptly turned Zelda over to Sasha. Asking her to check her over and to have her ride with her as they went and found camp for the night. Unsurprisingly Zelda had refused. Annoyed, but not completely unpleased, Levi had assented to instead let her ride with him- even though the both of them were the worse for wear- as long as she would allow Sasha to look her over once they settled. After this was agreed upon, he'd turned to Hange, who'd been giving him the most peculiar look ever since she'd caught up with him.
"So, who is she Levi? Who is she really?"
He looked at her. He knew what she meant, but he had no real answer to give. Not in a meaningful way. And not in any way that even he himself could make sense of. So instead, he just shook his head at her.
"I couldn't say."
"But you came all this way for her, didn't you? I mean, you said it was the villagers, but that was only a half-truth. She was the real reason."
Levi looked up with a tired expression, and met Hange's eyes, but said nothing in response.
She sighed loudly.
"Really. I don't know what's up with you sometimes! It's okay to feel something you know. And it's okay to admit to it too!" She cast him a pensive look and then turned to look at the other soldiers slowly gathering up the dead. "Just so you know, we would have had to kill these titans sooner or later. If we're going to accomplish our goal of clearing these lands it would have come to this eventually either way…"
Levi remained stoic and said nothing.
"Don't blame yourself is what I'm saying."
Finally, he turned to her. "I won't. If nothing else, It actually bore some fruit". He turned to his belt and fished out a document that he'd pulled from the church. "I found this at the church. I think it will help us. It's got details about not just the royal family, but about the ways the titan formulas were created."
Hange's eyes widened and she reached out and snatched the document from him before he could blink. Her eyes scanned the paper greedily, her mouth open in wonder. As she finished, she looked up at him, excitement flashing across her face.
"Levi! Do you know what this is!?"
"No. Not particularly. I know enough to know that you could decipher it and that it would mean something to you." He looked at her wearily.
"No, not just something. Everything!" Hange was so excited she was practically dancing. Then as some scouts carried a covered body by her, the gravity of the situation seemed to hit her again and she settled down.
"It was a loss, for sure, and even without this it would be okay… but Levi, with this information…." She looked up at him, her eyes glistening. "We can do a lot with this."
Levi nodded solemnly and turned to go. He needed to help gather his comrades. Before he could leave though, Hange placed a hand on his arm, pulling him back around.
"I don't know what she is to you. But it's obvious she's important. Did you teach her that? Those moves? ". Hange looked up and searched the area for Zelda, finding her over in the field, helping with the retrieval. "I think she's really special Levi. Not just to you either. When I saw her moving on that field, and then on the titan…." Hange stared blankly off into the distance. "There's something about her… I can feel it." She turned her gaze back towards Levi, but he'd already turned away.
"Yeah. Maybe…." He didn't look back as he walked off, his head down in thought.
Fast forwarding back to the present, as he looked around for Zelda, he watched as she walked almost timidly into the open area where the soldiers gathered.
Sasha had checked her and helped her to clean up. Her face had been scrubbed clean and her hair looked washed and tied neatly back. She now wore a scouts uniform – the only extra clothing they had - and it fit her incredibly well. If he hadn't known better he would have sworn she was one of the squad. He saw her searching the room, and as her eyes came to rest on his, a red flush darkened her cheeks. Her head lowered just a bit and one of her hands came up and absently began to rub at the elbow of the arm hanging uncomfortably at her side. He could tell she wanted to move, but instead she remained rooted in place.
He watched intrigued as Sasha pulled lightly on her elbow urging her into the room, but Zelda remained fixed in place. Sasha looked quizzically at the young woman and then followed her gaze across the room to a transfixed Levi. Understanding dawned on Sasha's face and she smirked. Leaning devilishly into Zelda's ear, she whispered something to her and Levi watched as Zelda's expression shifted and her head twisted rapidly towards Sasha, her eyes widening in anxiety and the red tint on her face growing deeper as her mouth dropped into an open 'O'. Sasha smiled brightly, her eyes crinkling shut and her head tilting happily. She gave the nervous woman a little shove and Zelda came stumbling slowly towards Levi.
He met her halfway, reaching out a hand to steady her and giving a venomous look to the still smiling Sasha as she threw him a wave before turning away.
"Hey. You doing okay?"
Zelda, looked up at him, the awkwardness apparent on her face. "No. Not really. Is it really okay for me to be wearing this? I mean I'm- I'm not a survey corp member or anything…. These uniforms are reserved for-"
"Would you rather continue wearing the rags and dirty socks that you'd been wearing?" Levi raised a cold eyebrow at her. "Seriously. It's fine. Besides after your actions today, I don't think anyone here would cry foul for you wearing it. Especially not Moblit. You saved his life today, you know."
She looked up at him, uncertainty wavering in her eyes. He met them with his steady gaze. "It's true." He turned his head away and ran his hands through his dangling hair in frustration.
"Tch. I hate to admit it, but today you deserve to wear that uniform as much as anyone else in this place."
Zelda furrowed her brow in confusion. "You hate to admit it? Why is that?"
He looked at her, anger and sadness reflected in his face. Solemnly he reached out and lightly pulled at the hair hanging from her ponytail. Stretching out a silky brown coil, he let it run between his thumb and forefinger then fall softly to her back.
"It's because you haven't seen what I've seen, that's why. This life only ends one way for us scouts. It's a long, hellish path that's paved with the deaths of those closest to you, and when you reach the end of yours, all that awaits you is more of the same. Not peace. Just your own death staring you in your face and dragging you along, whether you're ready to go or not. Why in the hell would I wish that for you?"
Zelda stared him in his eyes, her soft brown desperately searching his cool blue ones, but he gave nothing away. Finally seeming to give up, she tilted her head to the ground. Quietly she spoke to him, her voice soft and low. "Maybe because it's something I could finally do to give my own life some purpose?"
Levi's eyes sharpened as he felt his breath catch in his lungs. No. No, this wasn't her purpose. Abso-fucking-lutely not. He'd see to that, no matter what it took. He inhaled deeply.
"You don't mean that. Your life has plenty of purpose. This is not it, I assure you. The survey corp is-"
"-It's where I want to be!" Zelda's voice had risen and she reached out to him, a delicate hand placed gently on his shoulder. "Levi, I can't explain it, but today out there, it's like- like something really awoke in me. This is it, I just know it." She paused, hesitation in her voice. "You know, I haven't said anything, but I've been uncertain, everytime you've mentioned taking me inside the walls. I wasn't born there. Sure, I'm an Eldian, but I'm different. For those of us who've lived undisturbed and unknown here on Paradis all of our lives, we've never had any interest of living within the confines and restrictions of those walls. Even now that you all know about everything that you once forgot, I didn't think that I might be accepted there. But…." She stalled and looked up at him, her eyes brightening with hope.
"After today, something's changed for me. Something's changed in me. It's where I'm supposed to be. I know I'm not a cadet, but I want to be! I want to do whatever it takes to serve my purpose and to join the corp. This is what I was meant for, I just know it!"
Levi turned cold blue eyes of steel on her and opened his mouth to respond but was cut off before he could.
"Wait, really? Hey, that's awesome!"
Snapping his neck around, Levi saw Connie walking up to the two of them, drink in hand. He was smiling cheerily at Zelda, who now looked embarrassed at having been overheard.
Irritated, Levi once again opened his mouth, this time to tell Connie to mind his own business and fuck off. "Conn-"
"Hey Jean, did you hear that?"
"Yeah, yeah, I heard."
Jean sauntered slowly up to the now growing group. His head was bandaged and he looked slightly pale, but otherwise unharmed.
"What do you think?" Connie asked eagerly. "She'd be perfect don't you think?"
Jean looked at Connie and gave him a closed-mouth smile. "I think you're asking the wrong person. I'm a little biased don't you think? Of course, I think she's amazing." He turned from Connie to look appreciatively at Zelda. "You'd have my vote as a scout any day, and I'd vouch for you as a member of the Levi squad too."
"Yup, same here!" Connie echoed. "If you really want to become a scout, you should! After what you did today, I'm sure we could find a way to make it happen."
Zelda's mouth hung askew as she listened incredulously to the words of Connie and Jean, the red flushing heavily under her tinted skin. Shocked she turned hopefully to Levi, but with a grunt, he turned his back to the group, throwing up a hand in dismissal and walking off without another word.
Confused and dejected Zelda watched him for a moment before being called back by Jean and Connie.
"I wonder what that's about?" Connie looked at Jean, and Jean shrugged disinterestedly.
"Who knows? With Captain Levi, you never really can tell, right?" With great interest both he and Connie leaned in towards Zelda.
"So I'm guessing it was the Captain that showed you how to operate the gear, right?" Jean asked
Zelda nodded mutely.
"Did he show you how to operate the * too?" Connie asked excitedly.
Jean gaped at him. "Don't be stupid. Exactly where would they have practiced that at?"
Connie shrugged nonchalantly.
"Well… I didn't practice it, but he did show me how it works. I think I have the gist of it, I've just haven't been able to actually try it out yet." Zelda spoke meekly. She suddenly wasn't feeling at all like her usual self.
Jean peered dubiously at her. "You know you sure seemed a lot bolder back at that tavern…"
Connie nudged him. "Hey, don't say that. Think about everything she's been through these last few days. You can't honestly expect her to…." He trailed off. "Anyways… So Z, how about we go and see if the Captain's training was any good, whaddya say?"
He gave her a warm grin and after a small pause she returned it back, her reluctance giving way to her unbridled eagerness.
"I'd really, really like that! I hate to say it, but I've been dying to give it a try ever since he showed me how to do it."
Connie and Jean laughed and headed to the door with Zelda in tow. Watching the scene from across the room with mounting anger, Levi slammed down his wine cup and then stood to follow.
As he got outside he saw that he wasn't the only one. A crowd of scouts, including the entire Levi squad had gathered to watch Zelda make her first attempt at using the ODM gear. He swallowed and felt a strong tightening in his chest as he watched. She was nervous enough, he could tell. And a crowd wasn't going to help matters any. It had taken even him a couple of tries to get the hang of it the first time he'd used the ODM. The rest of these scouts had all been cadets and they'd all undergone significant training to be able to use theirs. So what were they possibly expecting from her? That she was just going to be able to miraculously suit up and go?
Gritting his teeth, he quickly gathered and suited up with his own ODM equipment. Connie and Jean were capable soldiers but they weren't the sharpest in the shed and if he let this continue on they were bound to get Zelda killed, or at least seriously injured, with their idiocy.
He considered stepping in, but knew that it would only embarrass her further, not to mention that even from a distance, he could see the look of fierce determination in her eyes. Fail or not, she really intended to give this her all, even in front of an audience of experienced survey corp members. Unless he planned to tie her down, he wouldn't be stopping her now. Sighing, he instead prepped himself to be ready for when things inevitably went wrong.
He watched as she went over the operation with Connie and Jean. He could see her finger movements from here and he had to say he was rather impressed. She seemed to have remembered everything he'd taught her, and neither Connie nor Jean had anything new to go over with her. They double-checked her gear to make sure she was suited properly and by this time Jean at least seemed to be coming to his senses. 'Thank God.' Levi could tell from his face that he was having second thoughts about this.
"Hey Zelda, are you sure about this? I mean, I think you've got everything down, there's no doubt about that, but this is actually pretty advanced, especially for someone who's never so much as even put on the gear before…." He looked worried, and Levi felt a flood of gratitude. 'At least he's got an ounce more sense than Connie.' But as he watched, Zelda put a hand on Jean's shoulder and flashed him a dazzling smile, her dimples piercing and on full display. Levi grimaced. 'Damn it. He won't resist now. Although I can't say I care for the way that he's looking at her either…'
"Thanks for your concern Jean, but don't worry about it. I have a feeling that I'll be all right. Plus, if something goes wrong, I know I've got-" She paused momentarily, her eyes going blank for just the briefest of seconds, "-you and Connie watching over me." Her smile shrank just a bit, but Jean's expression had already changed, and he smiled agreeably at her.
"Yeah, of course. You're in good hands."
'Fucking idiot.' Levi growled and moved closer, It wasn't that he didn't trust the two of them to save her, they probably could, it was just that he preferred not to take any chances. "And I don't want that creep's hands on her either." he mumbled to himself. Another scout turned to look questioningly at him, but Levi ignored him and brusquely pushed past him to the front of the area.
As he watched, Zelda took a huge breath. He saw her hands trembling at first, but as she blew out the breath, her entire body relaxed and her could see her eyes focus. Drawn in, Levi unconsciously took another step towards her, just as she pointed the gear upwards and took off.
He immediately turned his head to follow her, holding his breath and pointing his gear in that direction. He watched in disbelief as her point struck true and she shot out the next as she flew forward. She did it again, this time with more ease. Looking upward he saw her expression relax and a look of pure happiness reflect across it. 'Damn it.' She was speeding up and going too far, too fast. Without thinking, and with no hesitation, Levi was off and after her, ignoring the questioning cries behind him.
Those morons assumed that since she'd taken off alright that she'd be okay, but they didn't have the sense to follow her. Besides, just because she'd taken off didn't mean that she knew how to land, did it?
He caught up to her just as she was swinging inwards, in what appeared to be an attempt to land on a tree branch. From his vantage point, Levi could see that the branch she was headed for had a significant weak spot - if she landed there it would almost definitely snap under her weight. He was about to call out, but then he saw her try to shift direction in mid-air. She'd spotted the problem for herself. Unfortunately, she wasn't well-versed enough with the equipment to know how to make a change like that on the spot. He watched as she tried her best to course-correct but couldn't and then began falling towards the ground.
Fright didn't cross her face, instead there was a mask of concentration and determination as she continued to assess her options even while succumbing to the 25 foot drop. The look remained there even as Levi- his heart racing with trepidation- swung over, grabbing her tightly in his arms as he shot to another sturdier branch nearby. Standing on the branch, he set her on her feet next to him and looked furiously at her. Her face was flushed, but it wasn't because of fear- it was pure exhilaration.
Her hair had fallen loose around her shoulders and it lifted and fell as she gave her head a sharp shake.
"I knew it would be you."
Levi opened his mouth to reply and scold her, but swiftly she sheathed her gear on her hip, smoothly reached out, pulling him closely to her, and kissed him deeply. He froze, momentarily blindsided by her actions. Then, in easy, sure steps, he walked her back on the thick branch, pushing her back directly against the tree and forcefully returning the kiss - his hands sliding up and over her scout's uniform. As they parted, he slid his hand around her throat and then up to hold her face in place, facing him.
"You're too reckless, you know that don't you?"
He pulled his thumb slowly but firmly across her face, pressing it against her lips and then pulling it down, opening her mouth as he did so. With his thumb in her mouth, his eyes bore into hers and he pulled her forward by her jaw. He then slid his tongue deep into her mouth, stifling her moans as he pulled her body against his.
"Captain! Zelda! Are you two here?"
Startled back into reality, Levi placed a hand on the tree next to her head, and breathing heavily he pushed himself away from Zelda, his heart thumping erratically against his chest. He looked at her with her chest rising and falling, and small tendrils of hair plastered lightly to her forehead, and found himself immensely aggravated at being interrupted. 'Whoever this bastard is, is going to pay for this one.' Levi bit down angrily on the inside of his mouth to keep from cursing out loud.
Still, he grabbed her hand and towed her along. "It was only a matter of time before they came looking. Let's go."
Zelda said nothing, she just allowed herself to be dragged along behind him. As he wrapped her in his arms, he looked at her sullen face. "I know you'd rather travel yourself, but it's safer for you to just come with me." Seeing darkness beginning to smolder behind her eyes, he continued quickly. "Just tell yourself you're doing it for me. So that I don't have to worry, okay?"
The flames in her eyes fizzled and wrapping her arms around his neck with lackluster, she gave a sad nod. "Yeah, alright."
Feeling just a smidge of guilt, Levi called out, "We're here! On our way back!" before swinging off the branch and back to the camp site with Zelda in his arms."
The crowd had grown larger on their return. Everyone was excited, and the chatter in the main room was relentless. Normally Levi would have slid off to the side and avoided all of it, but more than anything tonight he didn't want to leave Zelda in the midst of it. Her first flight with ODM had gone way better than anyone had expected and that didn't bode well at all for him. Letting her bask in this would only make everything that much harder.
"Yeah, yeah. We know she did fantastic. She's got other things to discuss tonight and I'm sure the rest of you need to get prepped for tomorrow's journey, right?" He said the last bit with a strong edge to his voice, turning to glare at the crowd and feeling comforted when almost all of them shirked away, mumbling and turning away to busy themselves with other tasks.
He looked over to find Zelda starting at him, considering.
"Yeah?"
"Don't 'yeah' me. I'd really like to know what's going on with you right now?"
Levi turned from the counter to face her dead-on. "It's you. I don't think you were listening when we were talking earlier."
As he talked, Hange walked right up to the two of them. "Oh! What was the talk about? Could it be joining the scouts? I heard you were interested Zelda!"
Hange's eyes were bright and glowing, and Levi glowered at her as she continued to talk and ramble on. "I saw your flight a moment ago. That was absolutely magnificent! And to think that was your very first time using the ODM equipment like that! You truly are a natural! I've never seen such ease of movement and agility-". Finally noticing the look in Levi's eyes, Hange abruptly stopped talking.
"Uh…was I possibly interrupting something?"
Zelda smiled, "No! Not at all! Levi and I were actually just talking about my interest in the scouts." She turned to face Hange, bashfully looking at the ODM equipment on her waist.
"I know I don't have the training or anything, but I was trying to tell him that I'm willing to go back to the academy. To-to be a cadet and learn everything I need to. I just…. Really want to become a member… of the survey corp!" With the last words, Zelda let out her breath and pulled her shoulders back. She turned to Levi with a look brimming with hope and confidence.
His was anything but. Grimacing, Levi raised his head to the ceiling, trying to still himself and find some patience with this situation. "And I…" He lowered his head to meet Zelda, and spoke through clenched teeth. "Was just telling her 'NO' that's not going to happen."
He saw the crestfallen look on her face. It was a mixture of disappointment and failure, but worst than that was the hint of betrayal he could read behind it.
"But why? I' know I've still got a lot to learn, but haven't I shown you something? I can do it Levi. Really!"
'She still doesn't get it. She thinks I just don't believe in her.' Levi huffed. "I already explained it to you. Are you thick? Whether you can do it or not has nothing to do with it." 'It's whether you can survive it or not. And the answer is invariably the same for all of us. You're no exception to that.'
Hange was standing with her mouth pressed shut- her eyes perfectly round and ping-ponging back and forth between the two of them. With an angry grumble, Zelda balled her hands into fists at her side, her eyes now shooting poisonous darts at Levi.
"But wouldn't that decision be up to Hange? She's the squad Commander, right?"
Zelda's eyes went from Levi to Hange and then back again. Levi's expression didn't change and he didn't take his eyes off Zelda.
"Yeah. It would be Hange's decision." Without bothering to look up, he leaned back against the counter and rested his elbows against it. "Hange?"
He could see Zelda's eyes on him- they looked accusatory. She also hadn't bothered to turn back to Hange and he figured he knew why.
Hange had turned beet red and her uncomfortableness with the situation was written clearly on her face. "Well.. uh… I mean…"
"It's fine Hange." Zelda cut her off. "You don't need to bother trying to answer. I'm sorry for dragging you into it at all. Especially when I already know how this ends." She gave a pointed look at Levi and then turned from both of them. "I get it. Like Levi said, It's not for me…." She turned and threw Hange a strained smile. "I know it's a short trek, but we've still got to get up early in the morning. I think I'm just going to go ahead and call it a night now." With that she walked out of the room without so much as a backward glance at either of them.
Hange looked at Levi, her eyes widening in disbelief at his behavior. Levi caught her gaze, but only responded with a low-lidded look that simply appeared to be impassive about the whole encounter. With a slight shrug, he turned to the counter, picked up his cup of wine and threw it back in a single swallow.
~0~0~0~
The next morning on Levi's direction both squads moved early to head out, and Zelda's sleeping area was avoided and remained untouched. While he hated the prospect of it, after careful deliberation through the night, he had decided that it would be better this way. Last night had been bad enough. He didn't want to have to see the hurt and disappointment on her face again this morning. He also worried that if he did, there was a possibility that he just might waiver - and that would be much worse than having to leave without telling her.
He'd decided that she wouldn't be traveling with them. He would leave one trusted scout behind to escort her to her new home within the wall, and the rest of them would leave early this morning while she still slept. He'd decided that Connie – not that damn Jean- would be more than suitable for the job.
Against his better judgment, as they now prepared to head off, Levi peered into the room. He had no idea when they would next make it back to the area of wall Maria where Zelda would be going, and when he might be able to see her again. If he couldn't say goodbye, at least he could have one final look to see him on his way. He peeked noiselessly into the room, and froze. Zelda wasn't there. Her bedding was made and arranged so neatly that he wasn't quite sure if she had even slept in it. Pausing, he took an uncertain step inside before changing his mind and heading out to check with Hange. Zelda wasn't in there, his instinct told him that, and he didn't need to tear the room apart to prove it.
Outside he found Hange already mounted on her horse and holding the reins of his. She took one look at his face and then handed both reins over to the nearest scout. Quickly hopping down, she walked briefly over to Levi.
"Levi? What's going on?"
Without replying, he turned and walked back into the tiny shelter, not stopping until they reached the room Zelda had been sleeping in. Slightly puzzled, Hange followed behind him. Stepping around him and into the room she saw the empty bedding and then registered the situation.
"She's gone?"
Levi shrugged. "Looks like it. I only just poked my head in to-" He stopped himself, the tips of his ears turning red. What was it he had been doing in here again?
Hange, peered around at him, an eyebrow slightly raised. "Oh, yeah? Well…." She put a hand to her chin. "It's hard to believe she could have gotten out of here without us knowing. We had lookouts all night long. No one should have been able to come or go without someone spotting them. I wonder when it was she left?" Hange began walking around the room eyeing everything in sight. "There's no clue or anything, huh? Oh!" Bending down, she retrieved a letter that was sticking out from the edge of the bedding. She turned and frowned at Levi "Did you even try to look around?"
Levi gave her a tired look. "No. I came to get you to see if you knew anything first." He reached out and took the letter from her outstretched hand. Ignoring the tightening in his chest, he opened it up and read.
I figured I'd save you the hassle of having to try to sneak out on me. I'm saddened it all ended this way, but it seems there's not much I can do about it. I wish you safe travels Levi. I'm grateful for our time together, and that my heart will at least continue the journey with you.
You saved me in more ways than one, so don't worry about me, I've got it from here.
~Z
Levi read the note just once. That was enough for him. Standing stiffly, he stared at the empty bedding. Wordlessly he crushed the letter in his single hand. He stood for a few more moments, then letting go of the crumpled paper, he spun on his heel, turning his back and moving to pack up the now unused items.
He said nothing as Hange stepped over and silently picked up the letter, opening it up and quietly reading it to herself before carefully folding it up and walking over to Levi. Taking the folded paper, she opened Levi's jacket and slid the paper inside. She laid the jacket closed and gave the area where she'd placed it a hard pat.
"You're a real idiot. I hope you realize that."
Levi turned his face to her, his eyes hard and his mouth grim. He met her eyes and then he turned and without a word began to walk away.
"Yeah, I know." he mumbled quietly under his breath. 'But at least this way I'll be an idiot with no regrets about sending her to her death.'
END OF PART 3