...Imma just shut up about the notifications XD I keep jinxing it I'm sorry
I also post this story on AO3 if you would rather follow it there
On with the show!
TW: This chapter is going to get a little bit heavy. I'm diving into Jo and Sam's relationship more and Jo's drinking, drug usage, overdose, rehab, and sobriety. If that's too much for you, you can skip this chapter. I promise it will not affect the plot much.
Sam sat on the front porch staring at his phone. He kept calling and texting Dean to explain but Dean wasn't answering. Eventually, the phone stopped ringing and went straight to voicemail. Sam hoped it was from the battery dying and not Dean intentionally turning it off.
"Want one?" Sam looked up in the direction of the voice and saw Jo holding out a package of cigarettes. "You look like you need it."
Sam's voice hitched in his throat. "No thanks."
Jo sat on the step next to him, taking out a cigarette and lighting it. Sam watched as she put it to her lips and took a long drag.
"Isn't that, like, against your sobriety?"
Jo choked on the smoke as she started to laugh. "Only if these were laced with something."
"But you're replacing one addiction with another?"
"Maybe. But it's healthier than getting blacked out."
Sam looked down at his phone again as Jo took another drag.
"Expecting a call?"
Sam took a deep breath and sighed. "Dean."
"Yeah. Super fucked up what he said to you. Asshole."
Sam snorted at her comment. "Can't argue with you there. But he's right."
"No, he's not. Your girlfriend was just fucking murdered. You're allowed to lose your shit as much as you feel like it."
Sam's stomach felt warm when Jo took his side. Sure, he had his family, but they all spent their time playing peacemakers. Having someone standing up for him felt nice for a change.
"Just don't start sneaking drinks or pills."
Sam let out a laugh. "Scout's honor."
Jo watched him as she continued to work on her cigarette. "Speaking of sobriety... I kind of need to tell you something."
Sam's curiosity piqued. He looked over at her, eyebrows raised. "What?"
"Stupidass 12-step plan says I need to make amends to those I've wronged."
"Jo, you don't have to-"
"Stop. I do."
Sam looked at her concerned. A breeze blew past them, causing bits of snow to fall around them. Sam tried not to think of what happened with their friendship all those years ago. Sam and Jo used to be best friends. They were in the same classes, they both played soccer and baseball, and they seemed to connect on a lot of similar interests growing up. Inevitably, Sam developed a crush on Jo, never wanting to tell her. When Jo's dad died in a car accident, Jo started to go off the deep end, drinking and popping pills, almost flunking out of high school. Sam tried to help her as much as he could... then one day before their senior year, it all came crashing down. They didn't talk for the whole year and Sam eventually left for California, leaving Jo behind.
"I'm taking my sobriety seriously this time, Sam," Jo continued to confess. "I'm in the program, I'm going to therapy, I'm doing all the shit I'm supposed to be doing."
Sam listened to her intently. "What changed? I mean, why now?"
"Your dad." Another long drag. "I was off and on with this abusive son of a bitch and he broke my arm. I needed surgery to get rods. I lied to the doctor to get a legit oxy prescription. One night I took too much and Mom found me..."
Sam turned his head away, looking down the end of the street, allowing Jo the privacy to collect herself. Jo sniffled, pulling up the neckline of her sweatshirt to dab at her eyes. She took two more cigarette drags.
"Your family visited us at the hospital. My mom threatened that this would be the last time and she was shipping my ass to rehab whether I wanted to or not. Your mom went with her to talk to the doctors. Your dad stayed with me. I'd rather not repeat what he said but it scared me to hell. They helped me pack and off to a 90-day rehab retreat I went."
Sam turned and looked back at her. "Why didn't you call me?"
"Because we're not friends, Sam!"
"We can be!"
"No, we can't."
"You think because you broke my heart when we were seventeen that I never want anything to do with you again? Is that it? You thought you lost me over a stupid childhood crush?"
"I thought I lost you because of all the cruel shit I did to you."
Sam licked his lips nervously, the cold air instantly drying them again. "Jo, I never took any of that shit seriously. I knew you were hurting. That's why I kept trying to help you."
"So why did you stop?"
"Because you didn't want it. And eventually, I had to start putting myself first."
The air around them started to feel heavy. Like they were locked in a room together and someone shut off the oxygen supply. Sam watched as Jo threw her cigarette on the ground, squishing it gently with her boot.
After a few minutes, Sam broke the silence. "I wouldn't mind being friends again," he said quietly. "In fact, I kind of need it right now."
"Me too."
Mary sat on the couch with her hot chocolate, peeking through the blinds in the living room window.
"Now who are you spying on?" John asked, coming to join her with his own hot chocolate.
Mary shushed him immediately. "Jo's out there talking to Sam."
"About what?"
"I don't know." John sat down on the couch behind his wife, trying to sneak a peek over her shoulder. "I can't tell if his face is red from the wind or from something else."
John was confused. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Oh, you didn't know either!?" Mary tried not to sound too excited to share the news. "Apparently, Sam had quite the crush on Jo when they were younger."
"Our Sam? I don't believe you."
"It's true! Dean told me."
"Oh, well, if Dean said," John taunted.
"Shut up! He's coming back in!"
The two of them pretended to sit casually on the couch with their drinks as their son came back inside and locked the door behind him.
"Hi honey," Mary greeted. "Was that Jo outside with you?"
"Yeah," Sam answered, none the wiser to his parents' odd behavior. "She wanted to see how I was doing."
"Well, that's awfully nice of her," Mary commented.
"Yeah," Sam said, releasing a breath of air he didn't realize he was holding. His cheeks started to turn bright pink again. "AA is having her make amends with people so we're gonna try to be friends again."
Mary and John exchanged a look, both trying not to smile. "That's great news, bud," John said.
Sam's face suddenly turned sad, looking down at the phone still in his hand. How it didn't manage to permanently freeze to him outside he'll never know. "Dean's not answering." Mary and John exchanged another look, their demeanor changing to match Sam's. "Do you think he's right? Am I making everything about me?"
"We can't answer that for you," Mary said. "We want you to be able to grieve as you need to but we also can see where Dean is coming from."
Sam kicked the area rug in the doorway. "I just hate when he's mad at me."
"Just give him some space," John suggested. "You can call him again tomorrow."
"Yeah, okay."
"There's hot chocolate if you want any," Mary informed him. Sam's face lit up a little bit. He awkwardly shuffled into the kitchen. "I told you!" Mary said once he left the room, smacking her husband's knee.
"Ow! What'd you have to take it out on me for!?"
Sam rolled his eyes to himself, hearing them over in the next room. Parents.
coffeeaddict13