Life 2:14

It had been a couple of days since Windclan reestablished their home. Snakepaw and deputy Deadfoot found themselves in the elders den together, both carrying a bundle of bile infused moss. Tallstar hadn't been lying when he punished the two with tick duty, of which both were teased for receiving this punishment.

Deadfoot had never been a fan of this work. It wasn't just because the bile was awful. It was also due to his bad leg. While other cats could freely move both front legs, Deadfoot couldn't. His left forepaw wouldn't even twitch under his will. With the paw rolled over, he also couldn't get a good grip with his claws. While the leg was useful in battle because it was largely deadened and could club pretty hard, here is where its lack of finesse really showed. Deadfoot grumbled to himself as he fumbled the moss ball when he was trying to apply it to a tick biting into an elder's neck. Deadfoot turned to retrieve the ball when Snakepaw suddenly made an appearance, gently dabbing the tick Deadfoot had been trying to remove, and making it drop.

"What are you doing over here?" Deadfoot queried, a bit aggressive since shouldn't have been necessary.

Snakepaw was nonplussed by the aggression. "Just thought you'd like help finishing up. I already got my half. I mean, I've done this so often that I could do it with my eyes closed."

"I didn't need it." Deadfoot answered sharply.

"Need and want are two very different things. Could you have done it? Yes, absolutely. I never doubted that. As to whether you wanted help, well, you're a bit hard to read. I could tell that your paw was giving you difficulties. I could also tell that you want out of here. I never wanted you to get in trouble, so you can think of this like an apology. It was my own reckless behavior that got Tallstar mad in the first place." Snakepaw responded, showing a faint smile hoping for Deadfoot to accept his reasoning.

"Well, I don't want your help going forward. I'm perfectly capable of doing as I was ordered. I won't have you looking down on me." Deadfoot snarked, then immediately felt bad for doing so.

"We're done here anyways. Would you mind if I talked to you?" Snakepaw asked, following Deadfoot out.

"I'd rather not." Deadfoot grumbled, embarrassed for his previous outburst.

"Then can I talk in your general direction? You can pick and choose what you want to hear." Snakepaw continued to probe.

"I have to quarrel with you mindlessly chattering at the air." Deadfoot answered before lying down. He'd been fortunate not to get any bile upon his body while dealing with the ticks. He still remembered having to go to the river each time he was on duty during his apprenticeship.

"You know, in one of my lives I only had three legs. It was my right front paw that I lost. It got cut during a crawl under the fence to the Carrion Place in Shadowclan. That place is filthy and dangerous. While the medicine cat treated me cut, something insidious slipped in. My leg didn't heal. In fact, it began to rot. The rot was traveling up my body. In the end, the only option the medicine cat could come up with was to remove it. They tried to knock me out with poppy seeds while they broke the leg to remove it. Unfortunately for me, I'm a bit resistant to the stuff. I felt it as the limb broke and they gnawed through my flesh. It hurt, but the idea of missing a leg hurt more.

I ultimately survived, but I wasn't all intact. I felt myself tripping when I tried to shift my weight onto my missing leg. I felt helpless when I couldn't even run properly. I sincerely wanted to die to end that life. I'm so glad I never gave into that impulse. Strangely enough, it was a kit that saved me. He was a rather big kit. I was trying to walk the camp and began to trip again. I knew what was to come, but suddenly I felt a fuzzy mass still my falling form. I'm saddened that his name illudes me. Just like you, I snapped at him for pitying me. He backed off after that, but it wasn't long before I missteped again and began to fall. Again, the kit caught me. I said nothing after giving him a sharp look. Days continued with that kit repeating the same gesture each time I fell, and each time I fell, I reacted a bit less harshly. The time between falls got larger and larger. It was then that I learned my lesson. The kit never pitied me. He wanted to help me. He saw how sad I was and wanted to change that. While I lost a lot to that injury, I learned that help isn't something to be avoided. It is not a sign of weakness to be helped. When I got strong enough, I began to teach that kit all I knew. He easily became the strongest of the apprentices when he got apprenticed because of my tutelage.

Living in fear of pity is a terrible thing. It flavors everything you do. No matter how hard you try, there are always those who will look first to your deficiencies. By attempting to prove them wrong, you only draw your attention further to the issue, often developing a fierce sense of self-loathing. I know I did. It was through accepting that I was not like any other cat and that my wound would always hamper my abilities did I find my own answer. There was nothing wrong with being different. I had my strengths, but I also admitted my weaknesses. Through acceptance did I really learn to overcome and compensate for my deficiencies. Yes, I was weaker than the other apprentices. Yes, I had a less stable stance than anyone else. But I learned and I taught. Other clans didn't know how to handle me since I could counter them when the tried to exploit my weakness. The other apprentices used me as bait to deal with even fully grown warriors. My weakness became a strength but only because I had the will to admit that it was a weakness in the first place." Snakepaw lectured, watching Deadfoot's ears as they slightly twisted to catch Snakepaw's words while Deadfoot himself continued to face away.

Snakepaw's ears sunk as he worried that he hadn't gotten through to Deadfoot. Snakepaw turned, slightly hunkered at his failure. It was then that Deadfoot's voice was heard.

"Tomorrow, I'll allow you to deal with any elder I haven't gotten to yet. While I do not appreciate you taking work right out from under my nose, I'll turn a blind eye to you getting to another elder first." Deadfoot mewed before padding away to talk to Tallstar. Snakepaw let a wide grin grace his face before scampering off to fulfill the rest of his duties for the day.