Disclaimer: If you recognise it, it came from the films or the comics, even if I flatter myself that I've put my own spin on things.

Feedback: All constructive comments or appreciative observations are welcome

AN: Having seen The Marvels, I have edited certain parts of the preceding chapters to reflect details we learnt about Carol's life from the film.

That said, the events of the film will not feature in my planned plot. Obviously Monica and Kamala only gained their powers after the Snap was undone, and while Dar-Benn was an active threat to Carol before the Snap, I'm going to assume that she was either another victim of the Snap or she just couldn't find the tools she needed to implement her planned revenge until after the Blip, so either way she isn't a factor.

The edits to previous chapters haven't changed this fic in terms of the overall plot, but I thought you should be aware of them in the interest of completeness.

The First and the Last

Even after she arrived at Peter's door, Carol couldn't explain to herself why she'd decided to visit him before going back out into space.

With the whole issue of Thanos's threat resolved in a very 'unsatisfactory' manner (and that was a massive exaggeration of how badly things had ended), she had stuck around at first to see what she could do to help her old home planet, but it soon became clear that none of the other heroes were totally comfortable with her. Captain Rogers and Agent Romanoff in particular were never anything but polite, but there was a definite edge in some cases that Carol was choosing to tentatively attribute to how she hadn't been there to deal with Thanos earlier on. The Avengers as a whole might have accepted the argument that the galaxy was too big for her to have effectively tracked down the Mad Titan on her own earlier, but there was evidently a difference between accepting that argument rationally and accepting it emotionally.

Carol didn't blame them for feeling angry, considering how they'd lost so many of their friends and family in Thanos's attack, but it was still hard for her to deal with this level of frustration from people she'd only just met (and this was when they didn't know about her biggest mistake). Thor had been more understanding, probably because he had a better idea of the scale of the universe and how she could have avoided facing Thanos earlier, but he'd already left Earth with the Guardians to track down any surviving Asgardians. The God of Thunder was cautiously 'optimistic' (as much as he could be said to be anything positive with his current grim attitude) that he would be able to find some land somewhere for those survivors to set up a new residence on Earth, but it was clear that he was just doing it to have something to do with himself.

As for the Earth-based Avengers, they'd apparently already dealt with certain personal issues before she even came to Earth the first time around. Carol wasn't entirely sure why it was a big deal that 'the Accords' had been ended, but from what she'd picked up it sounded like certain parties had been trying to exert more control over the Avengers. Fortunately, Thanos's attack had basically proven that attempts to legislate a response to the kind of threats that would merit the Avengers getting involved was basically stupid. Carol liked to think of herself as willing to work within the wider system so long as it didn't get in the way of her actually helping out, especially after acting on her own impulse had such dire consequences, but if it came down to a choice between obeying orders and saving lives she'd save lives and deal with the legalities later.

In any case, she had stayed for a while to make sure her homeworld was relatively stable, but as far as she could tell, Captain Rogers, Colonel Rhodes and Agent Romanoff were all doing their part to find ways to help Earth rebuild. However, as Carol had pointed out before they went off to face Thanos, every other planet in the universe had similar problems and the Avengers were only responsible for one world. It had never been a problem for her to just help out and leave, and the cool attitude of the other heroes right now should have made it easier, but for some reason it wasn't that simple this time around.

She could tell herself that it was just because this was the longest she'd ever been back home since she learned who she was and what had happened to her, but in the end, she knew that the real reason was the young man in red and blue. She couldn't explain what it was about Peter Parker, but somehow, the idea that someone so young had done so much to try and stop Thanos just because he could, even though basically nobody could have blamed him for trying to hide away…

Carol wasn't sure she could explain why that meant so much to her, but she was grateful that Peter was not only willing to talk with her, but had been so quick to agree to her impulsive request during her recent visit. She had been thinking about just going back out there and keeping up a more distant link to Earth once again, but seeing how lost Peter felt after everything that happened had inspired her to ask him for help looking up an old friend. Running searches on the Internet was apparently a lot easier now than it had been when she was trying to look up Project Pegasus the first time, but Peter made it even easier when he used some kind of search system in his own suit to help her find Maria and Monica Rambeau. Carol specifically asked him to just give her a current address, as she wanted to find out what had happened to her friend in person. Peter had soon confirmed that since Carol's last visit, Maria had apparently established another residence in New York as part of her work as director of an organisation that was apparently known as 'S.W.O.R.D.'. She apparently still maintained the farmhouse in Lousiana as another residence, but from what Peter had found out Maria was currently living in New York. He had offered to look up more information on S.W.O.R.D., but Carol decided that she'd prefer to get those answers directly from her old friend.

When Peter had asked if he could come with her, Carol had been surprised at the show of interest in her personal life, but she had no problem accepting the offer. It was a relatively short trip to Maria's new home from Peter's apartment, but there was something to be said for having a local guide through the city even if she was mainly using public transport and moving far slower than she'd ever gone through space. The fact that New York felt empty definitely helped in that regard, but Carol wasn't going to think about how the world still hadn't returned to any kind of normal routine even after almost a month since the Snap (and Peter's comment about school still being closed was another thing she wasn't going to think about).

When they reached Maria's new brownstone, Peter had offered to leave Carol alone, but she'd persuaded him to wait outside while she made contact; whatever was about to happen, something told Carol she'd prefer another friend nearby. Once Carol had knocked on the door, the building fancier than Maria's old farm but still with a certain old-world charm, she was briefly shocked when an older, more weathered woman answered the door. She had long realised that some combination of everything she'd been through had affected her aging compared to the human norm, but actually seeing how her oldest friend had changed over the years since she'd last been on Earth was still a shock. The greying hair managed to make Maria look somewhat mature and dignified, even if the close cut was still a surprise, but her friend seemed so much thinner than before…

"Carol?" Maria looked at her with a tentative smile.

"Hey," Carol nodded at her, suddenly feeling awkward about just dropping in like this. "Sorry I'm-"

Her awkward explanation was cut off as Maria practically leapt on Carol to pull her into a sudden hug, pressing her face into Carol's shoulder as her body shook. Carol was left with nothing else to do but awkwardly pat her friend's shoulder and hope that Peter wasn't left feeling too embarrassed to be watching this from the street.

"You're here…" Maria said, still sobbing even as she stepped back to look Carol in the eyes. "You're alive… you're OK…"

"Yeah," Carol nodded at her friend with a cautious smile. She was briefly lost for what to say to her old friend, not wanting to bring up anything about why she'd taken so long to come back before now, before her mouth spoke words almost without her brain making the decision. "So where's LT?"

The sudden shift in Maria's expression told Carol more than she wanted to know without her friend having to say a word.

"The Dusting?" she asked after a moment's pause, suddenly unsure if it would be better or worse if that little girl who called her 'Aunt Carol' had been lost because of the direct result of her failure or just random collateral damage.

"Turned to dust as she was sitting by my bed…" Maria replied, swallowing slightly as grief seemed to overwhelm her face at the memory. "I don't know if she even knew I was awake when it happened; she was just staring at her arms… she was so scared… my Monica…"

With no better ideas on how to respond to that particular revelation, Carol carefully led Maria back into her house, only pausing long enough to wave at Peter to indicate that he should follow them in. She would apologise to Maria later if her friend felt put out that Carol had invited someone she didn't know into her house, but for the moment Carol wasn't going to leave her new friend standing out on the street while she comforted her oldest friend. The house layout was obviously different to the farmhouse, but it didn't take long for Carol to confirm that the furniture was still basically the same, so she and Maria were soon sitting on the familiar old couch, Maria still half-sobbing as Carol held her. A glance up confirmed that Peter was inside, but once Carol saw him in the door he indicated down the hall and left Carol and Maria alone.

"You know the real irony?" Maria said, once she'd regained enough control of herself to stop sobbing as she spoke. "I got out of hospital with a clean bill of health."

"Hospital?" Carol looked at her old friend with a new sense of apprehension. "You're sick?"

"I… look, like I said, everything's good now, Carol," Maria observed, a slight edge to her teasing tone as she looked at her friend. "I get that you're hanging out with superheroes now, but you remember that we're not all enhanced, right? We get sick, but we also have access to great medical technology; I'm going to be fine."

"Th-that's good… I just…" Carol trailed off, suddenly lost for words at this fresh reminder of how life could be for other people. It wasn't as though she thought of herself as 'better' than other people because of her abilities, and she was sure most of the Avengers felt the same way, but there was still something disorientating about being reminded that other people were that much more vulnerable than you were…

I was staying away because I was scared of what they'd think of what I've done; what if I'd come back and she wasn't there?

"It's fine," Maria smiled tentatively at Carol, cutting off her grim train of thought before she jerked her head in the direction of the door. "So who's the kid in the kitchen?"

"A friend," Carol said. She wouldn't tell other people about Peter being Spider-Man until she had his permission, but the fact that he was a friend was at least the honest truth. "He… I met him when I came back to Earth, and he helped me find where you live now."

"Huh," Maria looked at the door with a thoughtful smile before she looked back at Carol. "Well, glad you hit it off with someone new."

"What does that mean?"

"Seriously, did you really click with anyone but that agent Fury guy last time you came back here?" Maria pointed out with a cool smile. "And how much of that was just because you both needed each other to understand what was going on? I think it's safe to say you don't need the kid for anything more than the pleasure of his company, because there's no way it's that hard to find an address in the city."

Carol wasn't entirely sure how to respond to that observation. She would admit that she hadn't always been good at making friends even when she was a child, and her social life had just become even more messed up after she realised the truth about how Starforce had been manipulating her during her amnesia, but she wasn't that bad… right?

She knew that she'd been focused on her self-assigned role as a protector, but there had to be more people she could consider actual friends before now…

There's Yan, but when his planet sees us as married it's just a bit awkward… Talos is really more Fury's friend than mine… things with the other Avengers need more time…

"…I need to get more friends," she concluded with a grim shake of her head.

"Well," Maria gave her a half-teasing grin, "that's one thing you can work on now, right?"

Carol was ashamed to admit that she hadn't honestly thought about that before Peter reminded her of Maria. It wasn't that she hadn't missed her friend, but after so long in space it had become easier to think of herself as 'Captain Marvel' (as she'd come to be known) first and Carol Danvers second, and Captain Marvel was so busy taking the wider view that taking time out for herself seemed almost selfish even without the need to atone for her mistake on Hala.

Still…after seeing what Fury had built in her name, and witnessing even some of what the Avengers had accomplished… maybe it was time to start making some new connections here on Earth besides him and Maria…