69EpicCirno69 productions presents:
The worst fucking thing you'll ever read.
Before I realized, I was drowning.
Cold, cold water filtering into my lungs.
'Fuck, fuck, fuck!'
I swam up the darkness and felt a hand reaching for me. It pulled me out, leaving me coughing up water while laying on the sandy shores of wherever I'd been pulled out of.
I was still in my work clothes, now completely soaked.
"Are you alright? Can you stand?"
I cough once more or twice before I answer the boyish voice.
"I-I'm… fine. God…"
I really wasn't fine.
One moment I was getting ready to have a meeting with my project manager, the other I'm underwater.
I lay on my back and stare at the night sky. Brighter than any I'd ever seen.
Where the fuck am I?
He jumps into my vision, hand out so I could take it.
Just a kid… I take his hand and he pulls me up with surprising strength.
I wobble around for a bit, trying to regain my balance. I take the moment to take in the surroundings.
And yes, I'm very clearly on the shores of some sort of sea or ocean. Maybe just a large, really large lake. Nah, the water is too salty.
"Where… am I? Who the hell are you?"
The boy stretches and yawns before answering.
"Well… you're in Teyvat now. I'm…" he hesitates before giving out his answer "…I'm Aether."
"Cool… I'm Rory."
I stretch my hand out and he gives it a firm handshake. I tower over the kid but I can tell he could snap me in half. What the fuck have they been feeding him?
"So, what's a Teyvat?"
"Oh it's like… the world? The continent, maybe."
Ah, I see. I got dimension gap'd.
I click my tongue and grumble about having probably already missed the meeting. Even if I do return I'll be out of a job…
Whatever. The only regrets I'm leaving behind are not fucking that goth chick I've been texting for the past month and maybe having left some games unfinished.
Question now is: what do I do?
"Yeah… What do I do now?"
"Step behind me, there are monsters coming!"
OF FUCKING COURSE.
Fantasy worlds and their bullshit. Will I at least get OP powers to make-up for the inconvenience of having me spirited away?
I do as told and watch as the weirdo masked monkeys throw rocks and… what the hell, that's a mini-tornado!
Aether conjures a sword out of thin air and bolts right into action. A flurry of lights and gore fly out from close by as I seek further refuge behind a nearby boulder.
Not even 5 minutes later, Aether returns, caked in vivid red blood and chunks of monkey(?) flesh.
"All taken care of! Let's get out of here, I spotted something nearby."
"O-Oh… alright."
Yeah, I'm scared shitless of the monsters and, above all, the kid.
I follow him around like a lost little puppy. We climb rocks and small cliffs (with ease in his case) until we reach a viewpoint. There's a weird statue and a city out in the distance. European looking. What in the medieval-fantasy isekai have I stepped into?!
"We'll be resting here. It's late and the city looks to be quite a distance away. Rory, can you gather some branches to start a fire?"
"Huh? Uh… yeah, I can."
I don't stray too far and start snapping off branches from the nearby apple tree. I take a bite out of one too, and damn, that's good. There's also some… weird fruits around. I don't risk biting into, or even touching them. What if they're some magical poison bullshit?
I return to the spot, hauling a bunch of branches, some thick, some thin. I drop them on the ground, kicking up a small cloud of dust.
"Ah, God. It's in my eye…"
Aether chuckles, holding a rock and some dried up grass in his hand.
He's going the primitive route with this. Good luck man.
…
The horrible screeching didn't last for long as his sword ran across the stone, sparks flying out and setting the tuft of grass ablaze. I gave him a branch and the fire was set.
It wasn't too cold, really. I figure this was just for comfort and I was proved right with his words.
"A fire is always good to have. Keeps animals away. Sorry I don't have anything to cook right now."
"Oh… I ate an apple… or two. There's some weird fruits too, are those…"
"Yes, they're safe and very sweet. Just don't eat too many unless you like having your guts mangled."
Taco-bell fruit. I chuckle at my own thoughts and Aether chuckles as well.
These clothes are nearly dry already… just dirty and smelly.
Fuck my life…
Morning came and I was woken up with a soft slap to the face.
"What the f-"
"Come on, to the city."
Right. I was not home anymore.
Meh.
I get up and dust myself off, stomach growling.
"Let me eat something." Aether nods as I retrieve some fruits and munch on them. Two apples and one mystery taco-bell fruit. Hopefully I won't shit myself to death over that.
We walk in silence down the hill, eyes fixed on the city. Mine at least.
Aether seems taken by the statue in the middle of the lake.
"Do you mind if I stop by the statue for a bit? It feels… weird."
"Go ahead, you're the boss."
He nods and runs up to the statue, swimming across the pond surrounding it. I approach the clear water, teeming with little fishies. And then the kid touches the statue and a blinding light shoots up. It dissipates soon after, with a notable difference in Aether's looks.
The clear gems on his clothes are now shining a bright, pale green.
"The hell was that?"
He demonstrates instead of talking. A blast of air is expelled from his outstretched hand, hitting a nearby tree and basically cutting it down.
Holy shit… I swim across the pond too and come closer to the statue.
"Try it out. See if it reacts. You can feel it."
My hand touches the cold stone… and I feel…
I feel nothing.
My face falls in disappointment. As I pull back my hand I feel a burn, making me yelp in surprise.
"Well, you got something out of it. Try it out. Look into yourself."
Ok, anime man. I'll just… look into myself, because that's a normal thing you do.
Hmmmmm…
Hmmmmm…
Nope.
I shake my head and he shrugs.
"It's no big deal either, come on. Let's go to the-"
A huge shadow is cast down on us.
"That's a fucking dragon!"
"Yup." is all I get from Aether.
Like he's seen it all before. Ah, who am I kidding? He probably has.
"It's heading to the forest. Let's stay back and see if it flies away."
I agree! Let's stay the fuck back.
We hear a roar and it takes to the skies once more, disappearing on the horizon as it flies away.
"That didn't take long."
Aether moves again and I follow. We walk for an hour or so before we find a well used dirt path, wooden carts left on the side of it, broken and pillaged.
Doesn't seem like the safest of roads, let me tell you that.
We hear dull thuds in the distance.
"Bow", Aether whispers to me. He stretches out his hand, signaling me to stay behind him.
Sword in hand he stands, ready for battle.
The thuds stop and are replaced by sound of shrubbery being displaced, along with hurried footsteps.
A blur of red comes into view, rolling mid air and barely making the landing.
After the cloud of dust settles, a voice, cute and feminine emerges.
"May the Anemo God protect you, travelers. I am Amber, Outrider for the Knights of Favonius."
She stares us up and down with a judging face.
"You don't look like citizens of Mondstadt. Explain yourselves!"
"I'm but a simple traveler. Uh… Cletus, at your service."
Cletus?!
"And the big guy?"
"Oh I'm just… lost. He's helping me out. Rory."
"Rory and Cletus… I see. Well…" she puts her hand to her chin and takes a deep breath. "… there's a big dragon roaming around so I'd advise you two to get inside the city. I can escort you once I'm finished with my duties. You're free to accompany me, of course. In fact, I'd urge you to come with me."
"Why so suspicious of us?"
"… sorry. I apologize…" Amber looks to the side, trying to find the right words. "… strange yet respectable travelers."
"Hah, sure."
"Do you have anything to say about the type of language-"
"No ma'am. I'm sorry ma'am."
She turns her back to us, clearly displeased with my attitude.
Well, suck it up bitch.
Me and Aether follow behind as she heads over a nearby hill.
"What are you doing here anyways?"
"I'm looking for my sister", Aether answered with no hesitation. I myself didn't bother asking him why he was out there. So that's news to me.
"He rescued me while I was drowning. I don't know why I got here."
"A missing person case and an amnesiac… I understand. Wait… hilichurls ahead. Let me clear their camp and I'll take you to Mondstadt."
The monkeys have not spotted us yet.
"Amber, allow me to help."
'Cletus' produces his sword and rushes the camp while Amber stays back close to me and head-shots them with flaming arrows.
Also, do people here just… spawn weapons out of thin air? Can I do that shit? It looks cool as hell.
He returns once more, caked with blood and bits of flesh sticking to his sword.
"Wow, you're good Cletus. Almost Knight material…"
"Thanks, Amber. Shall we be on our way?"
The girl nods, somewhat chipper than before.
We cross the bridge nearby, scattering the pigeons nearby. The little kid there starts crying as the rats with wings flee.
The literal knights standing guard salute the cute red girl – oh yeah, did I mention she has a bunny-ear like headband? – and we enter the mildly disappointing, somewhat quiet and lonely feeling Mondstadt…
"...the city of wine and freedom!"
Me and Aether look around…
"Uhm… the dragon is making things unusually tense. We Knights are on the case! Don't worry!"
She takes us on a guided tour of the city. The tavern is the only lively place. The church too – and naturally, that is the most well kept part of town.
We stop in front of an ornate building with a carefully designed garden in the back.
"These are our Headquarters. Master Jean is inside. Please-"
She is interrupted by a man coming from within the building.
"Hold on now, Amber. Just where are you taking these… strangers?"
He walks to us and circles around, his one eye – and what a weird ass eye it was – fixed on ours.
"Are you two friends… or foes?"
Talk like a normal person, please.
"I'm Cletus", Aether begins, "I'm a traveler, looking for my sister."
"Rory. Was drowning and he saved me. No clue how I got here."
"Amber? What do you say of them?"
"Cletus is skilled with a sword, very much so. Rory… is rude, and that's about it."
"Weak too", I add.
"Yeah."
The man stops and introduced himself.
"I'm Kaeya, Cavalry Captain of the Knights of Favonius. Currently I am… cavalry-less, for they've all departed on a quest."
"What the hell?"
"Yes my friend, what the hell indeed. Amber?"
"Yes, Sir Kaeya?"
"Take our friend Rory to some cheap accommodations. Tell them I will foot the bill. I must… converse with young Cletus."
"Aye, on it. Come now."
I follow behind the lass while the two dudes stay and talk about important, manly things.
"Cletus, is it? I'm not wholly convinced but I shall call you that if you so wish."
"Thanks. We've all got secrets to keep, right?"
Kaeya's eye narrows down to a slit.
"Yes… we do."
Softening up his expression, he rests his arm around Aether's neck.
"I have a proposition for you and your... friend. Help me with a little problem. Under the table, of course, and I'll make it so you're welcomed into the city at any time. Of course, I shall do my part to help you find your missing family."
"Fair enough, as long as I don't have to hurt innocents."
"Oh, nothing of the sort. There are simply some ruins I must investigate. A colleague of mine will be helping as well. It should not take too long."
"When do we start?"
"Now."
Aether shrugged, ready for whatever may come next.
Ah man, everything about this place is great except for the beds. Jesus they're rough. Amber paid for my meal and I apologized for the bratty attitude earlier – even if she had it coming.
I have the whole fucking day ahead of me and I'm alone for the first time.
I hope my thoughts don't come crashing down on me as a trauma dump in the next chapter.