Chapter Three

Noise crashed down on Jace's ears the moment he leapt out of the Portal. It was disorienting; Shadowhunters rushed past him, shouting to each other; there was a crash of breaking glass, and a roar so loud the floor shook below Jace. Sucking in a breath, he let his eyes travel upward.

The demon towered over the Shadowhunters. His skin was the color of blood, as if he had once been human but all his skin had been stripped away until you could only see muscle. He seemed gargantuan in the confines of Alec and Magnus's apartment; Jace judged his height at around fifteen feet. The demon's head scraped the ceiling as he drew himself up to his full height and let out another roar, lunging forward. Jace instinctively recoiled, but the demon slammed against an invisible barrier and fell back, seething.

Carefully, Jace approached the demon. Up close, he could see the runes encircling it, keeping it at bay. Warlock magic.

Magnus was slumped against the opposite wall, leaning against Alec and looking pale and sickly. He glanced up as Jace hurried over to them.

"Good of you to show up," he said feebly. He gazed around at the two dozen Shadowhunters in the apartment. "With the cavalry," he added, smiling slightly.

He sat up a little straighter, and as the runes around the demon glowed blue, he grew paler. Alec watched him, his eyes wide with worry. "Are you okay?" he said in a low voice.

"I'm..." Magnus let out a pained gasp. "Fine," he finished, wincing.

"No, you're not," said Jace. "You can't keep the barrier up forever."

"I can try," said Magnus through gritted teeth.

"I'll give you my strength," said Alec immediately, placing his hand in Magnus's. "Take it."

"Even then," said Magnus, breathing shallowly as blue light glowed between their fingers, "I won't be able to keep it up for more than two minutes."

"Well, then," said Jace, straightening up. "Looks like we'll have to take this fight to him."

And before either of them could protest, Jace marched straight up to the demon, drawing his sword as he did. "Demon!" he shouted. "Who sent you? What do you want?"

The demon regarded him with contempt. "Demon?" he repeated, sneering. His voice was painful to hear, like nails on a chalkboard. "I have a name. Beelzebub."

"Bless you," said Jace.

"I did not sneeze."

"That's your name?" said Jace, feigning shock. Behind him, he heard Alec let out a soft groan. "Man, who pissed off your parents?"

He snarled. "You dare insult me? I could crush your bones with my bare hands!"

"I don't see that happening anytime soon," said Jace, glancing at the circle of runes. He was bluffing, and they both knew it. The runes glowed feebly. "Now answer my questions or I'll kill you where you stand."

Beelzebub drew himself up to his full height, looking down in disdain. His eyes bore into Jace's, a fiery scarlet. "Who sent me? What you really want to ask, little Shadowhunter, is which warlock you're allowed to dismember. You'll find I've saved you that trouble."

Jace clenched his jaw. "What do you want?" he growled.

The demon grinned, lifted a long arm, and pointed. "Him."

Jace's heart lurched, and he knew even before he looked who Beelzebub was pointing at.

Magnus glanced up at Beelzebub, looking thoughtful. "I don't remember pissing you off," he said offhandedly.

Jace turned back to the demon. "If you wanted a warlock, then why did you kill the warlock who raised you?"

"Oh, I want this particular warlock," said Beelzebub, his blood-red eyes glittering hungrily.

"Why?" Jace ground out.

The demon smiled, showing his sharp, pointed teeth. "You are a stupid one, aren't you?" Jace grit his teeth. "A mere warlock child like the one who raised me has very little power. I want something more...potent." He cast his eyes over to Magnus, who had gone pale.

Alec flung himself to his feet, shielding Magnus's body with his own. "You're not getting Magnus," he snarled at the demon.

The demon gave a laugh like razors clashing together. "We'll see about that," he said, and he slammed his fist into the barrier.

Red light exploded through the room, and Jace averted his eyes from the blazing arc of light. Magnus's runes glowed blue—he had stood up, leaning heavily against the wall, and his hand was outstretched as if he could ward off the demon. Beelzebub laughed again and pushed the red light further. The runes glowed again, fiercely, fleetingly—and then Magnus collapsed, and his barrier went down with him.

Alec let out a shout and ran to Magnus as he crumpled to the floor, unmoving. The demon gave a long sigh, stretched, and stepped forward.

"Shadowhunters," shouted Lance Kingsmill, "Attack!"

Arrows whistled through the air, swords slashed in a whirl of metal, seraph blades exploded into light. The demon let out a snarl, waving an enormous hand; the arrows stopped inches from him and fell to the floor, useless. Shadowhunters let out cries of pain and dropped their swords as their handles grew red-hot.

The demon was laughing, hurling blasts of red magic at the Shadowhunters even as they whipped seraph blades towards him. They crumpled where they stood, dropping like marionettes whose strings had been cut, and their seraph blades tumbled from their hands. Jace caught his breath and hefted his sword higher, trying to ignore the bodies around him and simultaneously praying that they were just knocked out, that he hadn't just led over a dozen Shadowhunters to their deaths.

Beelzebub moved through the crowd, kicking the bodies aside as if they were bugs. He stretched out a hand, reaching for Magnus.

Jace flung himself between the demon and Magnus, his sword slashing through the air in an arc. The demon let out a roar, recoiling as sludgy ichor dripped from his mangled wrist. He snarled, and in a movement too quick for Jace to catch, his arm swung forward.

He heard Alec and Izzy shout out as the demon's hand closed around him. He was yanked off his feet, whipped into the air, his sword uselessly pinned to his side.

"Jace!" Isabelle screamed, and she ran forward—but then Simon was there, blocking her way, and Jace made a mental note to thank him later, after they survived this.

If they survived this.

"Jace Herondale," the demon echoed in a drawling voice, looking him over. "I've heard of you. The angel boy." Jace struggled to bring his sword up, but Beelzebub held him too tightly. "I should kill you here and now. You are an abomination."

"Says the fifteen-foot talking mountain of blood," Jace snapped. "Seriously, have you thought about skin grafts?"

The demon sneered at him, and Jace felt him tighten his grip. He bit back a cry as he felt his ribs crack.

"STOP!" Izzy screamed, still fighting Simon. "LET HIM GO!"

Beelzebub scoffed, as if mildly irritated, and waved a hand at Simon and Isabelle. A wave of red magic blasted them back and they flew through the air before slamming into a wall and collapsing, motionless.

Jace swallowed back a wave of terror. Please let them be okay...it's my fault if they're not okay...please... He strained harder against the demon's grip, his ribs screaming in protest.

Out of the corner of his eye, Jace saw Lance struggle to his feet. He was one of three Shadowhunters still standing. Magnus and Alec's apartment was a scene of disaster, bodies strewn everywhere. Magnus and Alec themselves were still slumped against the wall, though Magnus seemed to be regaining consciousness.

The demon glowered down at Jace. "Since I am merciful, I'll let you choose how you want to be killed. Shall I choke the life out of you? Or cut you a thousand times until you bleed out?"

"Don't," came a weak voice. Jace craned his neck to see Magnus pulling himself up shakily.

"Magnus," said Alec, his voice cracking as he gripped Magnus's arm, "please."

"I'll go with you," said Magnus, though his eyes shone as he said it. "I'll go. Don't kill anyone else. Let him go."

The demon grinned, clearly drinking in the despair around him. "As you wish," he said, and he opened his fist.

Jace fell, too quickly to orient himself, and landed awkwardly on one leg. It crumpled beneath him, sending a wave of pain up to match that from his ribs. He struggled to stand, to do something other than watch as the demon stepped forward to claim Magnus.

Something hard was pressing against Jace's side. He put a hand to his pocket—and remembered.

The demon extended a hand.

And in a feat of unbelievable strength, Jace leapt forward and opened the box that had been in his pocket.

The demon let out a horrible screech as a blast of light exploded from the box. The light engulfed him, dissolving him, pulling him by tendrils into the box. With a final roar, Beelzebub vanished into the Pyxis and Jace crumpled, letting the box fall from his hands as he succumbed to the pain.

"Jace? Jace, please wake up, please..."

The world was hazy around him. He opened his eyes blearily, taking mental inventory of his injuries: three ribs broken, maybe four. His ankle was definitely sprained, and he could feel a concussion coming on.

Alec's blue eyes came into focus. He let out a sigh of relief. "Thank the Angel," he breathed.

Jace tried to sit up and immediately regretted it as pain washed over him. "Just relax," said Alec, and Jace felt the welcome sting of a stele. The pain began to ease.

"Izzy," he mumbled, swallowing against his dry throat.

"She's okay," said Alec, but Jace felt his hand shake against his skin. "She and Simon are hurt, but they'll be okay."

"How many..." Jace swallowed again, dreading the question. "How many are dead?"

"Jace..."

"Just tell me."

Alec bit his lip. "Seven."

Jace closed his eyes, guilt washing over him. "It's my fault," he said quietly. "I didn't think this through, didn't stop to come up with a plan. Seven people are dead because of me."

"They're dead because of the demon," Alec said, inking another iratze into Jace's skin. "And if you'd waited any longer, the demon would have escaped and more people would have died." He tucked the stele back into his belt. "Shadowhunters die. They knew it was a possibility, especially when fighting a Prince of Hell. They made the choice to come."

"If it had been any of you—"

"It wasn't," said Alec gently. "We're all okay because of you."

Footsteps approached them, and Jace looked up to see Magnus. He looked exhausted, but the color was coming back into his face. "Are you okay?" Jace asked.

Magnus let out a short, humorless laugh. "I should be asking you that." He regarded Jace. "You saved my life."

Jace shrugged, though the movement sent dull pain rippling through him. "You would have done the same. You almost did do the same."

"About that," said Alec, turning to Magnus. "You didn't mean it, right? You wouldn't have given yourself up?"

Magnus looked away. "I don't know. I might have, if I'd had to."

"But what about Max and Rafe?" said Alec, and his voice shook slightly. "Did you think of them?"

"I didn't want anyone else to die for me," said Magnus softly. "I wasn't thinking straight, Alec. I'm sorry."

Alec's gaze softened, and he looked away. "I know," he said. "I know you are." Magnus set a hand on Alec's head, and Alec closed his eyes at the touch. "Are you feeling better?" Alec asked quietly.

"I'm fine," said Magnus. "Strong enough to make a Portal. We should get everyone out of here."

Alec turned his head up, kissing Magnus's palm. Magnus lingered for a moment before going over to the wall and beginning to create the Portal.

"Alec," said Jace, and Alec looked down, surprised, as if he had forgotten Jace was there. "Don't be too hard on him. You would have done the same thing."

"I might have once," said Alec quietly. "But we have kids now. It's different." He shook his head. "When you have kids, you put them first. Every time. Before, I wouldn't have thought twice before sacrificing myself, because I knew you could all manage without me. But now..." He smiled wearily. "Anyway, you'll know soon, won't you?"

Before Jace had a chance to respond, the Portal opened behind them, a whirling bright blue vortex. Jace sat up slowly; the Pyxis was lying on its side a foot away. He picked it up and slid it into his pocket. It felt warm against his leg; he thought he felt a pulsing energy coming off it. Alec pulled Jace's arm over his shoulders, supporting him as he stood up. He tested his ankle gingerly; it shook violently the moment he put weight on it. He suspected he would have to stay off it for a couple of days, even with constant iratzes.

He looked around at the destruction before him. The surviving Shadowhunters, nursing their wounds, were already making plans for the funerals of those who had been killed. Jace knew he ought to stay and help, but he couldn't bring himself to look at the bodies, bodies of people that were only there because he had asked them to be.

Izzy and Simon had already made their way to the Portal. Izzy smiled at him reassuringly, but from the way she was holding her wrist it was clear that it had been injured. Simon had a healing cut on his forehead and was favoring his left leg slightly, but seemed otherwise unhurt.

"Jace, are you okay?" said Izzy immediately, surveying him worriedly.

"I'm fine," said Jace. "What about you? Both of you?" he added, glancing at Simon.

"Healing," he said with a strained smile. "Nothing we'll die from."

Jace nodded tersely. "Let's get going, then."

Isabelle took over from Alec, letting Jace lean on her as he limped to the Portal. He took a final glance back at the destroyed apartment and the broken bodies, before Isabelle ushered him into the Portal and he let himself be carried away.

Clary was curled up on the armchair in the library, picking at a hole in the upholstery. The room was quiet; everyone had gone through the Portal, leaving only Clary and her parents. Jocelyn and Luke were huddled in a corner, murmuring to each other. Clary let their voices drift into the background, staring down at the floor without really seeing it.

"Clary?"

She looked up. Jocelyn and Luke had made their way over to her. Jocelyn reached out and automatically tucked a stray curl behind Clary's ear. "Are you all right, honey?"

She nodded, giving a tired smile, but didn't say anything.

"Can we get you anything, Clary?" said Luke, his eyes dark with worry. "Coffee, tea, hot chocolate?"

"Tea sounds good, thank you," said Clary. Luke nodded and dropped a kiss on the top of her head before leaving the room, his footsteps echoing as he walked down the corridor.

Jocelyn perched herself on the arm of Clary's chair. "So," she said quietly. "Do you want to talk?"

Clary looked away. "There's nothing to talk about," she said.

Jocelyn made a soft noise, but didn't say anything; Clary suspected her mother was waiting for her to say something first.

Finally, after a long moment, Clary said softly, "I just...I thought things would be different." She could feel Jocelyn watching her. She stared off into the distance, her eyes unfocused. "I thought once he knew, he might think twice about the way he fights. He always has to be the first one to throw himself into danger, the one who leads the charge. I thought maybe now that we're...maybe he'd want to hang back, at least a little. I thought..." Her vision blurred. "I thought he'd care."

"Oh, Clary," Jocelyn murmured. She slid an arm around Clary's shoulders and pulled her in against her side. "He does care. I'm sure he does."

"Really?" said Clary, her voice hardening. "Then how come it was so easy for him to step into that Portal?"

Jocelyn took one of Clary's hands in her own. "Jace...Jace will always want to fight. It's how Valentine raised him. But that doesn't mean he doesn't care."

Clary didn't say anything; her throat felt too tight. Jocelyn sighed. "I wish there was something I could say to make this better," she said.

Clary shook her head. "Forget it. It's fine."

Luke returned, carrying a steaming mug of tea. "Thank you," said Clary as he handed it to her.

"Of course," said Luke, smiling softly. "And if you need anything, we're here for you."

"I know," said Clary. "I'm okay, though. You guys should go home."

They exchanged a glance. "Are you sure, Clary?" said Jocelyn worriedly. "We can stay, if you want."

"It's okay," Clary said. "Seriously, I'll be all right. I think...I want to be alone for a while."

Her parents watched her for a moment. Finally, Jocelyn leaned over and kissed Clary's cheek. "Call us if you need anything at all," she said, smoothing Clary's hair.

"I will," said Clary, allowing Luke to kiss her, too. "Love you."

"Love you, too," Luke said. Jocelyn gave her one last smile before turning away. They walked out of the library, Luke slipping his hand into Jocelyn's.

Clary sighed, feeling drained. She leaned back into her chair, taking a long sip of her tea. Somehow, her free hand had made its way to rest over her stomach. She let it stay there, feeling oddly protective of the little life inside her.

Suddenly, a loud whooshing noise jolted her out of her thoughts. She set the mug down and sprang to her feet as the Portal opened and a lopsided creature emerged; it took her a moment to realize that the creature was actually two people, one leaning heavily on the other.

Clary caught her breath.

Jace glanced up at her. She could see that Isabelle was supporting him and that he wasn't putting any weight on one leg. From the way he was breathing, she knew he must have cracked several ribs. He looked unsteady and pale, his hair tangled across his forehead.

She crossed the room in two strides, seizing Jace's free arm and pulling it over her shoulders. Together, she and Izzy managed to deposit him on the sofa just as Simon clambered out of the Portal behind them.

"The rest of the Shadowhunters are going to stay a little longer," he informed them as he stripped off his gear jacket. "They have to arrange the funerals."

"The funerals?" Clary echoed, her heartbeat quickening as she knelt beside Jace. "How—" She glanced at Jace, who had closed his eyes. "How bad was it? How many are dead?"

"Seven," said Jace quietly, without opening his eyes.

"Yeah, well, there would have been eight if you'd been any more stupid," Isabelle muttered, throwing herself into Clary's abandoned armchair. Simon followed and sat across from her in another tall chair.

Clary looked at her quickly. "What do you mean?"

"Jace almost died, as usual," said Izzy airily.

"Isabelle," Jace said, sounding weary.

"No, don't," said Clary sharply. "I want to hear this." She turned back to Isabelle. "I want to know everything that happened."

"Well, I don't remember everything, having been knocked out for some of it," said Izzy cheerfully, kicking her legs up on a small table that wobbled precariously. "But I can give you the gist."

And she told Clary what had happened, Simon filling in details that she'd forgotten. Jace was silent the entire time, though he looked exhausted and defeated.

When they were finished, there was a long silence. Finally, Clary said quietly, "Can you two give us a minute? I think I need to talk to my husband alone."

Isabelle and Simon exchanged a look, but complied. Simon gave Clary a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder as they left.

Jace let out a long breath and opened his eyes, watching her. "Clary—"

"I need to know," she said, cutting him off. "I need to know the truth." She took a deep breath. "The day you found out I was pregnant, you told me that this family was worth more to you than fighting. Did you mean any of it?"

Jace sat up slowly, his gold eyes searching her green ones. "I don't..."

"Because if you did," she said quietly, "you would have stayed when I asked you to today. You would have stayed because if you die—" Her voice cracked, and she closed her eyes, taking a steadying breath. "If you die," she continued, "you leave me alone. You leave your child without a father. And you know—you of all people know—what losing a father feels like."

"Fine," said Jace, sighing. "Maybe I shouldn't have said that."

Clary caught her breath. "What?"

He pushed himself up against the sofa, sitting up straighter and facing her directly. "My whole life, I've been trained to fight. Valentine raised me to be a soldier, raised me in the belief that Shadowhunters honor their duty above all else. Maybe..." He looked away. "Maybe I can't be a soldier and a dad at the same time. Maybe I don't want to be."

"What are you trying to say?" Clary whispered.

"I'm saying," he said, sounding frustrated, "that I didn't expect any of this to happen. We didn't plan this."

"What are you trying to say?" said Clary again, her voice rising.

"I don't want to be a dad!"

She recoiled at the vehemence in his voice. Seeming to realize what he'd said, Jace slumped against the cushions. "At least not now," he said in a lower voice. "I'm not ready. We're not ready."

She could only stare at him, hurt and angry and numb all at the same time. "Well," she said finally, in a shaking voice, "ready or not, we're having a baby. So you'd better grow up and accept it."

He looked at her bleakly. "Clary, I can't...do this." He drew in a breath. "I was talking to Alec earlier. He was telling me how everything he does is for his kids now, and the whole time he was talking, all I could think was that I couldn't do that. I can't be as selfless as he is."

Clary let out a derisive scoff. "That's bullshit and you know it," she said bluntly. She shoved herself to her feet. "The only reason you're saying all this now," she told him, folding her arms, "is because you're scared. You're scared of even the tiniest bit of responsibility, because it means you can't be reckless anymore, can't throw your life away like it doesn't matter. You were so happy this morning, Jace. You were ready to be a dad until you realized how much you'd have to give up to do it."

"That's not why I'm saying this!" Jace shouted.

"Yes," said Clary quietly, "it is."

There was a moment in which they stared at each other, Jace's eyes full of simmering anger.

Finally, she turned away from him. "When you've finally grown up, come find me," she said without looking at him. She didn't wait for a response, just walked out of the library without glancing back as her hand slid back to her stomach.

A/N: Thanks again to my reviewers! You give me so much joy :) Hope you've enjoyed this chapter, and if you did, please leave a review! (Bonus points if you can spot the very, very obscure In the Heights reference, yes I'm obsessed with Lin-Manuel Miranda.)

As always, thanks for reading!

~4L