Small easter eggs for anyone that ever watched the Gotham tv series.
"So the sewer gator … was a CROCODILE MAN!?" Babs shouted out with surprise.
"Uh huh." Her youngest BFFEAEAEAE answered with a nod as he buried his head in the bowl of chocolate pudding her and Harley managed to sneak out of the house with.
"A crocodile man that fought BATMAN!?"
"That's right." Harleen chuckled.
"And Batman knocked him out and put the killer in prison!?"
"Someone definitely got knocked out, Babsy Wabsy." Harleen confirmed with a wide grin and a small nod.
"Aww, can't believe I missed it." She pouted. "Would have been awesome." She knew she should've broken out of her room when she had the chance. Stupid promises. She at least got her revenge ... or will get her revenge once her dad used her 'special' toothpaste.
"... Hey Babs?" Iruma asked. "Why do you follow rules and laws?" He asked curiously.
"Cause the rules were made out of respect for one another." Babs explained, knowing he was just genuinely curious about the concept instead of questioning if people should become violent criminals. "For example, If stealing wasn't illegal, then everyone would steal things from everybody. And then only the toughest guy standing wins."
"Not true… sometimes the smartest person wins." Harely argued with a cheeky smile. "And sometimes the cutest person wins, sometimes the luckiest person wins, I say it all evens out."
"But without those rules bad things would happen." Babs argued. "People would start hurting each other left and right and breaking limbs for whatever they want."
"Don't people do that anyways?" Iruma asked, licking the pudding off his face. "That's what I see a lot of the other homeless people do just for an old sandwich in the dumpster.
"He's got a point." Harley nodded. "Maybe we should rob a bank and use that money for some food … or just rob the food itself."
"No….Dad's keeping an extra eye on me for 'sneaking out' and 'skipping school'." Barbra air quoted.
"Aren't THOSE rules you're breaking?" Iruma titled his head.
"Yes, but those are different. School is secondary when it comes to friends and prepping for crime fighting?"
"Wouldn't it be third-ary if friends and crime fighting are two different things?"
"I need to double check my number-ary list." Babs mumbled.
"So if it's helping a friend, I can do whatever I want." Iruma nodded.
"Exactly." Harley patted the boy's back. "Like this one time when me and Babsy were sneaking into this theatere to see a movie to see a movie about a clown living in the sewers, I wanted to see it SOOO badly but it's R rated so parent's said no, So Barbababelbal snuck out of the house, broke me out of house jail and snuck us in through the vents! And it was the most hilarious movie I ever saw!"
"Yeah… nothing funnier about a clown… eating the souls of children…" Barbra winced, still having nightmares of Tim Curry laughing about prince albert in a can.
"I see." Iruma nodded. "... In that case, I have no qualms about my new job."
"You have a job?" Barbra asked, blinking in surprise. "But you're still a kid."
"I had to start sometime. Better sooner than later." He shrugged. "Besides, if I get paid, I can eat something that won't cause my stomach to scream at me that I'll die at the age of ten." There was silence. "Either that or pick up hunting."
"Spill the deets, what's this job?" Harley squeezed the boy's face. "You a dishboy or did you land the lottery as a food taste taster?"
"I move funny smelling boxed from one location to another." Iruma nodded. "I don't know what's inside other than them telling me it's 'illicit' contraband, and I think Elicit means illegal, but I'm not too sure."
"… Iruma." Babs said slowly. "I think you're drug trafficking."
"I can't traffic drugs, only cops control traffic." Iruma answered with that far too simple expression. "Besides, I do other stuff too, like washing the blood off the tables whenever a meeting goes bad, or digging really deep holes for them to dump really mushy body bags inside."
"...Iru, exactly…. WHO do you work for?" Harely asked.
"She said to call her Ms Mooney."
"Mooney … like FISH Mooney?!" Barbra screamed.
"Oh yeah, I think someone shouted 'Fish' at her a few times before Solomon began dragging them to the back for a 'lesson'." He noted. "I guess her parents really liked fish."
"Isn't she that really infamous crime lord that use to work for Falcone before he croaked?" Harley asked with a tap on her chin.
"Yeah, she was a mid level goon for him back when my Dad was just a detective." Barbra nodded. "She'd spill the beans for other crimes to weaken Falcone's organization just so she could move up… the lady is ruthless."
"Mmm … anyway yeah, I work for her now." Iruma smiled.
"And she hasn't hurt you in any way?" Barbra began inspecting for any signs of broken bones and bruising.
"I'm good, and why would she?" He asked. "From everything you guys have taught me, criminals don't hurt people. And if they try, they'll fail."
"...To be fair, it's not the WORST assumption he's made." Harely chuckled. "Aside from the Joker, we haven't exactly run into top tier villains around Gotham."
"Harley." Babs groaned. "He's gonna be thinking he's immortal at this rate-dear god I've become my father." She was the one that LOVED fighting villains.
"As long as I keep running into the nice one's, I should be fine." Iruma shrugged. "So far the only one that I don't like is that Dagget guy with the gun."
"Rich people suck." Harley nodded the sadly true fact.
"Just … you know where to find us if something happens." Babs told him.
"Of course… I finally got myself a map so I can figure out where you both live by landmarks." Iruma took out the oversized paper from his pocket. "If only I could read the numbers and letters."
"Ugh, now my dad's lectures on the importance of school is starting to become relevant again.." Barbra muttered as she slapped her face. "Curse you common sense and the need for general education!"
"I feel your pain." Harley patted her shoulder. "I feel your pain. Don't worry Babsy, since Iru won't be here I'll join you, just like the good old days."
"Aw, thank you leany beanie. I can always count on you to do the right thing." Even if she did it in the most… unconventional ways at times. But hey, who said having a BFFEAEAEAE was easy? It was all about understanding and compromise.
Fish Mooney finished cleaning up her hands. "Cobblepot. See to it that this one's cremated. We're making one too many holes."
"As you wish, miss Mooney." It wasn't easy being a crime boss in Gotham. It wasn't easy being a woman in Gotham either. Being both however was a death sentence… a death sentence to most people that is. Fish Mooney, as she went by, as per tradition in Gotham's nack for a level of theatricality to most high profile crimminals. No, she wasn't some fish based supervillain, she wasn't a secret Metahuman that used her powers to climb up the ranks. If anything, having Powers in gotham was a detriment. It mean the Police would get bigger weapons, Batman would stop holding back the little he managed on a good day… and if push came to shove, other 'super heroes' would come to the city and make it no competition.
No, she knew how to play the game. Do a few, minor things here and there. Enough to gain money, but not enough to stay the 'top threat'. You never wanted to be at the top of the crime game, that gave everyone a massive target on your back. It made it easier to get people to let you go as long as you offered a 'favor' or 'piece of info' here and there. "Chore boy, broom." Oswald Cobblepot, her umbrella boy and secretary, called out. A rather unimpressive, gangly man who walked around with the fanciest tux's you could find, which was alway looked over given the limp he was forced to walk with, given him the oddly quirky appearance of a penguin
"Yes sir, Mr. Copplepot sir." A recent addition to her employee, a street orphan, Iruma, an illegal immigrant if the Japanese name was anything to go by, nodded as he quickly went to work. The most unsuspecting, and aside from Cobblepot, the most willing and loyal. She wasn't sure if it was blind innocence or absolute desperation that drove him to do the things he did without complaint. "I had to wrestle the broom out of Solomon's mouth again. I keep offering him my fish, but he just keeps chewing it."
"Wood good for bones." Solomon Grundy … a wildcard when resurrected. Sometimes a violent dumb brute, sometimes a kind gentle soul, sometimes a philosopher capable of understanding his eternal torment. The only 'super human' under her employ… and frankly the only one that she needed. Like Batman employed, Grundy was mainly used for intimidation purposes. So many weak willed men fell to their knees when they came face to face with a zombie.
It was an odd collection she surrounded herself with… which was exactly the point. Gotham was a city built on the outcast. On the abandoned, on those left to the wind and fighting for the little scraps that were available. To ally yourself with the scraps in a city of scraps was to ally yourself with the real people that run the city … barring Cobblepot. Not all of them could be winners.
"There's a lot more dried blood on the ground. Bad meeting?" The jappense boy asked curiously, his face carrying an expression of curiosity. The boy was painfully, yet refreshingly honest. If the kid was a rat, he'd already admit to it personally…. The boy was frankly too dumb to lie.
"Good meeting, bad apple." Fish answered simply, not revealing anything incriminating. "One rotten apple's enough to spoil the bunch."
"Why would that be? They're not that bad of a meal." He asked.
"Grundy like rotten apple." The giant clapped.
"Children, we're surrounded by children." Cobblepot muttered.
"Exploitable children that listen." She corrected the man. Loyal, but he could NOT shut his mouth for the life of him, often thinking he got away with more than he thought he did. "Now, what's our entertainment for the night?" Crime lord or not, she was running a club, and she'd run it with respect.
"We got big twins, Ms Mooney." Cobbelpot answered. "They're Bullock's favorite, and we have it on good word he's swinging by for a tip later."
"And they say cops aren't good for anything in this town." Dirty cop for sure, one she trusted about as far as she could throw him, but not everyone was a Jim Gordon ... and thank god for that. One goodie goodie cop was too much for this city as it was. "And will Sionas be descending down from his penthouse this evening?"
"He has informed me that he was spending the evening 'polishing his collection', which I don't know if that's a euphemism for something, but it was disturbing the way he said it." Cobblepot shuddered. "It feels like every other person we deal with deserves their own padded cell in arkham."
"A magnet city for the depraved." She rolled her eyes. "Iruma." Fish called to the boy.
"Yes Ms Mooney?"
"Seeing as most of our staff will be busy catering today, you'll be delivering this evening's shipment." She tossed him a bag. "You know the rules?"
"Don't ask questions, if I lose it I don't get paid, and if they don't pay tell them Grundy knows their scent."
"Grundy like playing with mushy heads." The zombie grinned like a child.
"I missed it when he recited shakespeare." Cobblepot muttered
"Then maybe think about NOT using him as a human shield the next time there's a shoot out." Fish argued. The man was also underhanded and a coward. He had dirt on about everyone in Gotham, yet had little motivation to actually jump on it. Such a waste. "The bag's locker three, ask Kenith for directions."
"Alright Ms Mooney." The boy nodded with a smile that didn't belong in the underbelly of gotham at all. An obvious target that would be eaten alive soon or later the longer this city still stood standing. "... Is it drugs I'm moving?"
"Is that a problem?" Fish asked simply.
"Not really. I just don't see why people pay for something that messes with their head."
"Cause most people we sell them to are idiots with money to waste." She deadpanned. "A little tip for the trade if you're going to do this long term kid… most people don't value their own lives, or life in general. They take one look at this city and think they've hit rock bottom. For most, that's when people give up on everything."
"... I guess they are idiots if they don't wanna live." The boy responded plainly.
"And saying that makes you one of the smarter ones." Not smart, just smarter than most. "Here." She tossed him a cookie. "More of that for you if you get done early."
"Yes mam!" He exclaimed with a smile, running off.
"So much work for cheap … absolutely worth the investment." She smirked. "You could learn something from him, Oswald."
"Yes, I will make sure to hire more children from here on out-" He began muttering sarcastically
"What was that honey?" She sent the man a glare.
"N-nothing Miss Mooney." He instantly backed down.
"Little birdie shake like chicken." Grundy laughed, patting the man… and by pat, Fish meant he was sent violently into the ground due to the big brute not knowing the limits of his own strength.
"Gaaahhh! You're going to cripple me, idiot!"
"You're already crippled Oswald, walk it off." Fish rolled her eyes.
Iruma hummed to himself as he walked down the street. "Once you get to Main, take a right, and it'll be the third building on the left." He repeated the directions. "I don't know why people complain about jobs so much, this has been fun." He got money AND food as payment, and Ms Mooney has been nice to him.. Well she hasn't tried to hurt him, he wasn't sure if that counted as nice. But giving people food was always nice, and every nice person Iruma knew always gave him food.
Ms Mooney did. Barbra and Harley did, even Pamela did with all those steaks. She actually ate almost as much as he did … almost. She didn't touch any of the bread or cheese they had available, just the steak. Which was weird, since cheese was just old milk molded into blocks of salt. He made sure to keep quiet on the veggies and fruits though. That always seemed to make her fists clench whenever it was brought up.
"Now where oh where … ah, third building." He smiled, finding his location. "Gonna deliver, gonna deliver, gonna deliver-" Someone bumped into him. "Oh, sorry."
"No, it's my fault." The girl around his age apologized. Her clothes were really old too, must have been a homeless kid like him. "Here, to make up for it." She tossed him a quarter.
"Oooh, a whole quarter." He smiled. "You sure? You could by a candybar for this."
"Trying to watch my figure, and you probably need it more." The girl patted his head and left. "Toodles."
"Wow… maybe all the nice people in Gotham are just the girls." Then again Waylon and Solomon were pretty nice two. Just misunderstood big guys with big muscles. "So this is what it feels like to have friends all the time.." He was wondering just how he managed to not live with this feeling all the time.
Iruma made his way to the door. "Now to deliver the …" He tapped his shirt, feeling it was empty. "Eh?" He checked under his clothes … "Gone!" What happened? Did that hole he forgot to sew back up grow bigger? That means the package could have dropped anywhere in between there and here. He'd have to spend the day and night searching the street …
"Hahahaha, oh man, what a rube!" Iruma heard cackling from the rooftops. "Like stealing candy from a baby… no, I had harder times stealing from babies, cause at least they cry loudly when something gets taken from them!" It.. It sounded like the girl from earlier.
Ooh, he could ask for help from her! Iruma began climbing up on the emergency exit stairs, making his way up top. "Excuse me, I know we just met, but could you help me find-" He paused, seeing the package in her hand. "Oh … there it is. You found it."
"Yes, I found it." The girl chuckled, waving it in front of him. "And.. I think I want to keep it." The girl pulled it back.
"Oh…. ah… sorry, but… those are drugs somone paid for." He tried to explain.
"I know. Someone paid me to steal them." She smirked. "Personally, I don't see the appeal of drugs, but if someone's stupid enough to pay for them, then who am I to deny practically free money.
"But.. But someone else already paid for them.."
"I know…. Which sucks for them…" The girl frinned, but not for me!" She began running across the rooftop. "Catch you on the flipside kid, maybe you'll have something else for me to steal again!"
"Wait, please!" He shouted, running after her. "I won't get paid if I don't deliver that!"
"And I won't get paid if I don't take it from you!" The girl laughed as she leapt across. "And frankly kid, you're the easiest mark I've robbed from in a while, like seriously, if you're a street kid like me, you should've known a 'bump on the street' is the quickest way to getting mugged around here."
Great, that was not what he needed right now. He needed to follow her and get the money back. And frankly, Iruma never had to leap over buildings before. Okay, focus on what she did. Use a lot of momentum, get as close to the edge as you can, focus everything into your leg … and … kick! "Gahhhh!"
"Falling… falling, falling…" The girl chuckled as Iruma was going across… it wasn't going to be enough, it wasn't going to be enough, it wasnt-!
Click
He grasp his hands on the edge of the roof… he made it… by the skin of his teeth, he actually made it! "Wow… not bat for a first timer, I almost want to give this back to you." She held up the bag of drugs in front of him. "...Almost, money's too good to not take it, but I save you a can of tuna with my pay, sound fair?"
"Actually tuna sounds nice-hey, no, I was going to get paid and I promised to deliver!" Iruma glared as he pulled himself up. "Maybe I can get you a job if I ask Ms Mooney nicely!"
"Hm… tempting… but if Sionis finds out I worked with a rival gang, then I'm as good as scratched, and this kitty likes to keep all nine of her lives." She smirked. "You know the rule of this street kid. Look out for yourself, cause sometimes, playing nice doesn't work." And she ran off again.
"...Playing nice is all I know to do…" Playing nice.. Got him friends… it's saved him and his friends… and this girl was telling him that it wasn't going to work….. For some reason… that made Iruma feel… really… really angry. "Playing nice.. Is how I survive!" He pulled himself up, and began running after her. "I'm getting that package back and I'm going to be a nice person about it!"
"Hah, I love to see you try, kid!"
"Good, because I'm going to do it!" If she didn't want to play nice, he wouldn't either!
Selina definitely knew the kid was younger than her, by at least two to three years, so the fact he was keeping pace was either impressive on his part or concerning on her part. "COME BACK HERE!" The blue haired kid called out from right behind her tail. "Rooftops aren't going to stop me from getting back what I need to finish my job!"
"Maybe not, but the lack of experience might!" She shot back, looking around. Let's see, what would trip him up … ooh, slippery mold. "Sorry, but I think this is where we split!" She jumped through the air over the gunk to set the little kid up for the fall.
"Not until you give me that package!" The boy shouted it, jumping over it just on the brink of stepping in it. Guess the boy was more coordinated than she expected.
Okay, Selina noticed some minor, hard to see cracks. Would crumble the ground and make people fall. "Like I said, can't let it go!" She shouted as she leapt around the spot. "You're young and new, don't worry, people will be more lenient when you screw up!"
"I don't like screwing up! Screwing up means I go hungry!" The boy began leaping all over the ground from spot to spot like he was playing hopscotch, somehow avoiding every single crack in the ground.
"And here I was willing to share some tuna." Selina grumbled. Maybe she needed something a bit more intricate. Something like..the crickety old fire escape. "What if I threw in a saucer of milk too? Would that make it better?" She offered in a cutesy voice as she began slippering her way down, busting the bolts on her way down, which came undone due to the years of rust and corrosion on them.
"If you're trying to bribe me, it'll take more than one bowl of milk!" The kid shouted as the metal railings began falling down, the boy having to roll off sideways to prevent himself from getting crushed.
"... Nope." Selina began bolting faster. One thing she picked up early, no screams, no trouble. He'd be back and she needed distance.
She didn't want to be involved with crummy people like Sionis, but alley cats like her didn't exactly have much of a choice for profession. If she wasn't already a natural born thief, she wouldn't have bothered ... but the thrill of sizing everything she could in her own hands was just too good to pass up.
"So much trouble for a little package of nose powder." She snickered. Maybe it was just about stealing from another crime gang. Mob bosses could be the most petty people in the world-
And she was tackled into the ground. "I know, some people are really weird." The boy said. "Now, hand back the stuff, or I'll bite you."
"… How the heck did you-" She looked at the collapsed pile of metal. "How did you-?!"
"I got out of the way." The kid shrugged. "I'm a street kid. It's not the first time I've been on a really old fire escape."
"... Right, that checks." As absurd as it was, if you grew up unpampered, you grew with skills. "You sure you don't want that tuna and milk?"
"… Ugh.." The kid groaned. "Look, normally if you threw food at me I'd say yes without an issue. But I just got friends and they really like giving me food and I want to be able to make my own money so they don't have to waste it on me all the time."
"Someone's noble." She snickered. "Don't suppose that extends to not hitting girls?"
".. Well girls are nicer …" The boy nodded. "But wouldn't it be more unfair if I didn't hit you? Like, you can steal things and leap across roofs. Why couldn't you take a hit to the face. Then again I don't like hitting people in general."
"Too bad." She reeled her hand back to punch him.. only to duck and have her hand collide with the brick wall. "Gaaah! Son of a bitch, I think you broke a nail!" Along with a finger.
"How did I break a nail? You're the one that punched the wall." He shot back"Sorry, I'd wrap that up but I got a job to do, and you let go of this!" The kid held up the package in his arms. "And I'm running late, so I can't stick around, later!" And he began running.
Selina regarded him for a moment … "Not worth it." She specifically worked for one of the NON psychos in this city, she didn't need to chase another. Selina had other ways to make up the cash.
She looked at her busted nail and purple finger. "I really got to move out of this town one day." Too much competition and too many wild cards all over. Plus other cities would probably be way shinier than Gotham, and shinier cities meant more expensive wallets to pilfer.
Oswald groaned as he came back to his bitchy, yet lenient, boss. "Body's burned, what should I do with the ashes?"
"They're ashes, Cobblepot. Just toss them anywhere." Fish Mooney, the horrible but effective crime boss of the south side of Gotham, waved off without a care.
The reason why Oswald hadn't quit was two fold. The first reason ... obviously someone like him who's seen and done many less than legal errands for the woman was too much of a liability if he left on his own. He'd lose his head the second he'd leave the room.
The second reason … Oswald was a man of great ambitions, greater than this city contain… but he had very little strengths other than being a rat. And he couldn't complete these ambitions without comprehending the fundamentals of the world … so, he viewed it as a sort of unpaid internship for the job he wanted one day.
All he had to do was buy his time until the day she croaked … or the day Oswald felt confident enough to backstab her. Whichever came first. If anyone was going to claim the throne of Gotham, it was going to be him, in spite of the little respect those around him gave him.
The door opened, as in came the little asian kid Fish employed. "I'm back." He said, dropping off a package onto the woman's desk.
His boss opened it up, inspecting the wad of cash with a smile. "Good job kid." She pulled out a ten and handed it over. "Your pay."
"Wow … ten whole dollars. I can SO treat the girls to something nice." The young moron cheered as if he just got a check for a million dollars.
"Notice you were a little late.. Any difficulties?" Fish asked with a slightly raised brow.
"No, other than this other orphan trying to steal the package for some Sionis guy." He said casually. "I feel a little guilty she won't get paid, but she's the one who said playing nice won't get you anywhere."
"It doesn't…" Oswald muttered underneath his breath.
"On occasion it can. How else would Grundy be standing here right now?" Fish chuckled as she pointed to the gray brute, who was currently being distracted from everything by a freaking FLY of all things.
"Oh, almost forgot." The kid reached back and pulled out … a worn down umbrella. "Here you go Mr Cobblepot."
He felt himself twitch at the insinuation. "Since when do you carry umbrellas?" He asked, taking it.
"Oh it's not for me. I saw you having trouble walking, and I couldn't find a cane in the trash, so this was the next best thing." He pointed to his foot. "I wouldn't gotten bandages and a splint, but the gauze I found in the trash was too dirty, so I hope it helps."
"..." Oswald blinked in surprise. The only nice gestures he got in his life he could count on to be sincere were those from his mother, the frail old thing barely able to stand on his legs yet still cared for him. Everyone else more or less tried to use him or kill him. There was no inbetween.. Yet he knew for a fact the kid was too dumb to even ASK for a favor. "Thanks …"
"No problem, just making sure to help out a fellow coworker." The kid grinned with a smile that did NOT belong in a club full of criminals. "Thanks Ms Mooney! See you tomorrow!" He waved as he walked out the door.
"Definitely easy money." The woman smirked. "Cobblepot, get my boys to find dirt on Sinois. Then prepare dinner for the evening."
"Of course Ms Mooney." Oswald resigned himself back to his role. A lackey, a simpleton, just a freak that most people would overlook.
"Oh, and give Grundy his dinner, or it's your brain he's going to be munching on tonight." Fish 'playfully' teased with a snort, though the tone in her voice conveyed a passive threat to his person.
The giant staring at him increased the incentive of said threat. "Right away Ms Mooney." He nodded as he began walking … Oswald rested his weight on the umbrella as he walked … unfashionable due to its quality … but it felt right somehow. Maybe there was more worth to that kid than he thought… an interesting note he'd save for himself in the future.